The Wacky Wario Bros.: The Winning Ticket./Transcript

This is a transcript of the SuperMarioGlitchy4 video "The Wacky Wario bros.: the Winning Ticket".

Intro
(The video starts with a shot of a house. Cut to inside the house where Wario is sleeping. He is grumbling and farting. Cut to Waluigi taking a shower with his clothes on and laughing. He picks up a rubber ducky and starts squeaking it a lot. Wario wakes up and growls, goes into the bathroom, and pops the ducky with a pin, making it explode. Wario goes back to bed, and Waluigi comes out of the bathroom, only to find another rubber ducky on the ground.)

Waluigi: Yes! (starts squeaking the rubber ducky. Wario jumps out of the bed)

Wario: I KILL YOU WITH-A MY NOSE!

(Wario chases Waluigi around the house)

Toad: (goes through door) What are you doing? Get away from my house! Oh my gosh!

(Wario and Waluigi glance at each other)

Wario: (smacks fists together) OH HA HA HA HA HA! (Mario appears behind Toad) Aw fuck.

(Wario and Waluigi are thrown out of the house)

Wario: Wah! I'll get you next time!

(Waluigi pulls out his rubber ducky, who now has a Waluigi hat. He laughs and squeaks it, causing Wario to get angry. Cut to black)

Title: THE WACKY WARIO BROS

Wario (offscreen): HA HA HA! EXCELLENT!

Main story
(Wario and Waluigi are in Glowshire Kingdom. Wario asks Waluigi how many coins they have. Waluigi says they don't have any.)

Wario: Mama mia!

Conker: Eh... what the? Oh, who are those guys? (Wario and Waluigi turn to face Conker) Oh, hello there!

Wario: Who do you think you are, buster?

Conker: Oh, great.

Wario: (growls)

Conker: I'll tell you what - here's a new deal! (pulls out a fire extinguisher that for some reason shoots fire)

Wario: WAGH!

Waluigi (simultaneously with Wario): No, mama!

(Wario and Waluigi run from the fire)

Wario: We're never gonna be stinkin rich. Mamma mia!

I HATE losing! Agh!

Waluigi: Shhhh... (pulls out rubber ducky) Shhh, it's okay... (Wario punches the ducky) WAH!

Wario: Argh... what? (picks a lottery ticket up off the ground) What the hell is this?

(A TV appears, with the text "lol tv for no reason" popping up for a few frames)

Wario: What? Nyehh!

Host on TV: Next we are drawing this weekends 1 million coin lottery

Miss Tubby please call out the numbers!

Miss Tubby: Anyway yesterday I went down to the shop to buy my groceairs... (gibberish)

Host: What that's not even the-...

Screw it just show the numbers

Text: LOTTERY NUMBERS

5, 24, 69, 7, 4

everyones a winner :D

(Wario holds up the lottery ticket. It has the winning numbers, but he doesn't notice it since the ticket it upside-down. The death sound from Super Mario Bros. plays)

Wario: SHIT! I can't lose!

Waluigi: Wuh woah! (turns the ticket right side up)

(celebratory music plays, with money falling in the background and Wario dancing!)

Wario: HA HA HA! I WON! I won, I won! I won, I won, I won, I-

??? (offscreen): JUST SHUT THE F*** UP!

Wario: Eh, fuck you.

Waluigi: No ma- (gets thrown into an old car) OW!

Wario: WAAAAAAH!

(Wario throws himself into the car, and laughs as it flies away, while Waluigi screams and hangs on to the bumper. The car crashes and explodes)

(Cut to the city, where Sonic is standing in the middle of the road)

Sonic: I'm Sonic! Sonic the Hedgeho- (gets run over by Wario's car)

(the car continues down the road, with the song "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore playing on the radio and Waluigi still hanging on the bumper)

Wario: Hey! Aggh... (changes the song to "Butterfly" by Aqua) YEAH! (thrusts to the music)

Text: WARIO VICTORY TIME

(car comes up to an intersection, where two other cars (Luigi in his kart and the crazy woman) are waiting for an old man to cross the street)

Wario: Come on, come on, come on, come on!

(Waluigi climbs into the car dazed)

Crazy woman: IT'S THE OLD MAN AND THE...

Luigi: Wee, weegee, weeeegee, weegee weegee...

Wario: Grrr... (honks horn) HURRY UP, WILL YA!?

Old man: What was that, sonny? [unintelligible]

(Wario gets angry and throws Waluigi's rubber duck at the old man)

Old man: EEEEEE! (falls and dies)

Heavy Weapons Guy (offscreen): DEAD.

Wario: Oh shit!

Crazy woman: DUUUUCK IT'S THE OLD MAN AND THE... (runs into a Shy guy) RAISINS! (crazy woman's car explodes)

(traffic light goes from green to red)

Wario: GRRRRR... FIRE!

(Wario starts driving again, running over Luigi in the process)

Luigi: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!

Wario: AH HA HA HA HA!

Luigi: Mama mia!

Text: screw deh police

(Wario thrusts to the music, but then runs into something)

Wario: Ooh! That hurts!

Waluigi: (screaming)

(camera reveals that Wario ran into a police car with an angry policeman in it)

Wario: Heh heh... hrmh, hrmm...

Wow! A jaywalker!

(policeman turns around to see Luigi crawling away from the wreck)

Policeman: JAYWALKING!

Luigi: WAGH!

Policeman: STOP RIGHT THERE!

(three policeman beat up Luigi while Wario and Waluigi make their escape. Cut to Wario, Waluigi, the rubber duck, and Kirby waiting at the train station. Kirby looks at the rubber duck and sees it as a plate of chicken)

Waluigi: Heh heh heh... (holds up his rubber duck to see Kirby eating it) AHH! What the fuck is that thing!?

(Kirby makes a confused sound)

Waluigi: (looking for his rubber duck) Oh no! (squeaking sounds start coming from Kirby)

Waluigi: (grabs Kirby) YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I'LL KILL YOU!

Wario: (walks towards the train tracks. Sonic is in a corner) Wow!

Sonic: Wuh!

(cut to flashback of Sonic standing in the road)

Sonic: Sonic the Hedgeho- (gets run over by Wario's car)

(cut back to train station)

Sonic: You just can't get enough, huh?

Wario: Rr?

Sonic: Eggman! You're totally cracked!

Wario: What the fuck are you talking abou-

Sonic: What's that smell? Smells like trash!

Wario: Hey! Shut up!

(Wario charges at Sonic and slams him into the train tracks)

Sonic: Gah! This guy's tough!

(Wario runs at Sonic yelling gibberish and then kicks him)

Sonic: Playtime's over! Now I'm serious! CHAOS CONTROL! (starts floating and changing colors)

Wario: Wah!

(Wario runs off of the train tracks and sees Kirby trying to eat Waluigi's head. He grabs Waluigi, laughs, and throws him at Sonic. Sonic dodges by flying downwards)

Sonic: You're too slo- (gets hit by a train)

Train: CHOO CHOO, MOTHERFUCKA!

(Waluigi is screaming, with Kirby still stuck on his head)

Wario: (pulls out Staples Easy button) That was easy.

(cut to the train falling into a town)

Intercom voice: You have arrived. Have a nice day.

(Wario and Waluigi walk out of the train, with Kirby still on Waluigi's head. Wario starts to look around when the lottery ticket is blown out of his hand and into Kirby's mouth)

Wario: Wah! WAAAH! (stomps on Kirby's head) Aii-YAAH! (tries to kick Kirby, but is sent flying back) (dances on Kirby's head) Rgh, rgh, rgh! (slams head on ground) BOO! Come on, come on... (puts hands together and begs) AAAh!

(Wario gets angry and shoves dynamite in Kirby's mouth.)

Wario: Come on, come on!

(It explodes, but has no visible effect except making Kirby slightly larger)

Wario: Say WHAT!? Somebody cheated!

Kirby: RAINBOWS! (starts vomiting rainbows everywhere, almost knocking Wario and Waluigi off a ledge. Eventually it slows down to a single rainbow slowly pouring out)

Wario: Ya-WAH! (knocks a faucet handle off Kirby's head, making him spit out the rubber duck)

Waluigi: (celebrating) Hea, hea, hea hea, hea! Hea, hea, hea hea, hea!

Wario: FUU-

(cut to Wario and Waluigi in a building)

Wario: Gimme my lottery money! Ehh...

Guy: Alright, just show me the winning ticket.

Wario: Alright, ehh. Well we have a confession to make...

Guy: And what might that be?

Wario: PINGAS! (throws Kirby at the guy, and Kirby starts eating his head. The guy starts yelling gibberish while the Wario Bros. run away)

(outro. The rubber duck appears for a few seconds and squeaks)

(end of video)