SM64 Shorts: The Plumber Problem/Transcript

This is a transcript of SM64 Shorts: The Plumber Problem.

Script
*2016 intro*

*Luigi humming*

Mario: Luigi, this is-a horrible!

Luigi: Whaat?

Mario: You need to see this!

Luigi: Is yoshi here? What did you fatass break the TV again?

Mario: No, it's worse than that!

Luigi: It's a toilet.

Mario: The toilet is clogged.

*Mario cries*

Mario: This is where I can take a crap and pee while I laugh at stupid stuff on my phone.

*Mario cries more*

Luigi: But, we're plumbers Mario. This is your type of thing!

Mario: Plumbers? The only thing I do is go down stupid pipes!

*a clip of Mario going down a pipe*

Luigi: No, mario! We're the mighty mario brothers. We own the pipes like they're b****es!

Mario: Why the heck we were plumbers in the first place? I mean we just went to the stinky sewers, steal floating coins, and jump on crap.

*some clips visualizing mario's talk*

Luigi: Soo, we're basically hobos.

Mario: Shut up Luigi, I don't want to deal with your s**t right now.

Luigi: Hmm, I think I found the problem. Some spaghetti,

Mario: Oh yeah!

Luigi: Toad's pet rock,

Mario: So that's where it went!

Luigi: dead pizza delivery guy,

Mario: Hey! He forgot the pepperonis! Mario ain't having that s**t!

Luigi: Ah screw this, I'll just call a real plumber.

Mario: So, you're going to replace Mario? Your own brother?

Luigi: But you said that you didn't-

*Mario runs off crying*

*cut to a plumber teletubbie "fixing" the toilet*

Plumber Teletubbie: Uh, is that guy okay? He's been staring at me for three hours now.

Mario: Oh, it's fine, ignore me. Just chilling out with my new brother Eduardo. At least he doesn't replace me! Mario, *cries*

Plumber Teletubbie: What the f**k are you talking about?

Luigi: *sigh*, mamma mia.

Mario: Eduardo, you understand me, what should I do?

Eduardo: *evil laugh* Destroy!

Mario: Eduardo, you can talk?

Eduardo: You hate Luigi, don't you? (????)

Mario: Ooh!

Eduardo: (????)

Mario: Ah, you just mean I have to improve better as a plumber!

Eduardo: What? No! That's the last-

Mario: Thanks Eduardo!

Eduardo: Crap, maybe I should go back to posess some toilets. (????) Oh yeah.

*Plumber Teletubbie comes out of the toilet*

Plumber Teletubbie: Well, I'm afraid that your toilet is infested with monsters. And there is a hobo down there. He's really nice and-

*weird noise*

Luigi: Huh?

*Mario riding a plunger coming at high speed to the ground*

Mario: Super Mario, b*****s!

*The Bros. house exploded or something*

Luigi: Good job, you managed to clog the toilet and now burn our house in the same thing.

Mario: Does this mean you love me again?

*Luigi falls to the ground*