Thread:MarioFan5050/@comment-25653892-20150108011153/@comment-25653892-20150108035511

I think there's meth (or some similar addictive drug) in those cookies. How else could they be so addicting, and cause such a bias in the news ticker? People are just trying to get as many cookies as they can. Because cookies are in no way illegal (everyone is equally addicted), everyone is free to obssess over their next fix, having cookie-themed hallucinations in the process.

Or maybe cookies are the drugs?… Or maybe cookies are parasites, and have adapted to cause their hosts to crave more cookehs. The things do become sentient after all…