SM64: War of the Fat Italians 2015 (600k Special)/Transcript

This is a transcript for SM64: War of the Fat Italians 2015 (600k Special). (Video begins with 2015 SMG4 Intro where SMG4 gets crushed by his own SMG4 Productions logo)

SMG4: Ahahow!

(SMG4 and Mario are staring at each other. Mario looks cross and determined, while SMG4 looks as if he's concentrating on something. Then Mario and SMG4 pass off weird faces. The two of them look at the Nintendo 64 console. Mario then brings out Mario Party 2)

Mario: Let's a play, huh?

SMG4: Yeah!

(X makes an entrance into the castle)

NintendoFan997(X): Oh boy! Mario Party. Hooray! I can't believe they invited me! What great friends! Woohoo! Are we having fun??

(After X was in the gaming room and asked his question, he suddenly saw SMG4 running away from Mario, who had a shotgun and was trying to attack him with it. The results were shown, with SMG4 being the winner with 255 coins and 99 stars and Mario in last place with only 10 coins and no stars)

SMG4: Run, b*tch! Run!

(Mario had upgraded to a robot shooting guns, Waluigi was on fire, X was annoyed, and Toad got blown up after he was thrown oppositely to Waluigi)

SMG4: Can you help?? Mario is being such a sore loser!!!

Mario: Mama f*cker! OH I'M SORRY! BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WE COULDN'T GET ANGRY AT CHEATERS!

SMG4: CHEATING? YOU JUST KEEP LOSING CAUSE ALL YOU DO IS HUMP THE CONTROLLER!

(After 4 seconds of glaring at each other, SMG4 and Mario are interrupted by X)

NintendoFan997(X): #Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?#

SMG4 and Mario: No!

NintendoFan997(X): Then there's only one way to settle this.

Mario: Oh God!

(X knocked out Mario and SMG4 with the title "War of the Fat Italians 2015")

Mario: Noooooo!

(The first prompt was to survive a Teletubbie and Toad rave party. Mario ran in circles in horror, while SMG4 fainted)

(In the dance hall, three Toads were dancing, while SMG4 was confronted by Teletubbies)

Po: Ha ho!

SMG4: Waaah!

Tinky Winky: Ha ho!

SMG4: Oh my God! Oh my God! OH! OH JEEBUS!...I think...I'm safe...

(Laa-Laa scares SMG4 by wearing a beard, glasses and a hat)

Laa-Laa: I'm a fifthteen year old girl! Wanna cyber?

SMG4: (screams)

(As for Mario)

Mario: Looks like Mario wins this ti...

(He is interrupted by a lot of Toads)

Toads: I love you Mario!

Mario: Waaaaaahhhhhhh!

(Mario and SMG4 are now in a forest. The second prompt appears on screen. It said "Who could do the best painting of Peach?")

(Mario and SMG4 are hard at work painting pictures. Peach expresses her delight. Mario shows off his picture: a poorly drawn likeness of Peach.)

Mario: Here we go!

Voice: What the f*ck is that?

(SMG4 shows off his picture. It starts off as a very well-painted redention of Peach's dress, only to reveal that her face is replaced by the "Me Gusta" face.)

SMG4: Just like the real thing isn't it?

(SMG4 is hit by a rock.)

(Mario and SMG4 are now in Cool, Cool Mountain. The next prompt comes on screen where they find who can survive Luigi's dance moves the longest, but Mario doesn't like this prompt at all)

Mario: Grrr! Who keeps sending us this crap??? Mama f*cker!

(The "Running in the 90s" soundtrack is played as Luigi dances in the hallway of the castle. SMG4 and Mario are staring at him. The former is not impressed; the latter is about to snap)

Luigi: Go Weegeee!(Keeps repeating what he said)

Mario: You can do it Mario.....................

(Luigi eventually begins to "twerk" near Mario. Mario was whimpering and then eventually he freaks out and his head explodes. Mario and SMG4 are now in Whomp's Fortress. Mario still has no head. The next prompt was to find out what the f*ck a Sonic is)

Mario: Mama mia!

(Mario is hard at work in a science lab, while SMG4 is hard at work on an advanced computer. Mario pours a blue substance into a vial, and the screen fades to white. The screen fades out as Mario jumps back in shock.)

Mario: Wah!

(Turns out Mario has created Sanic. He is delighted.)

Mario: Yeah! Ha ha ha!

SMG4: Oh come on! I made a broken one!

(Pan over to reveal SMG4's creation: a distorted Sonic the Hedgehog.)

Sonic: Please kill me.

(He keels over. Sanic notices and gets hearts in his eyes.)

Sanic: You're too slow!

(Sanic rushes over to the broken Sonic, and the two promptly begin making love off-screen, with the other Sonic screaming. Mario and SMG4 slowly walk away from the scene in shock.)

(SMG4 and Mario are now in Hazy Maze Cave. Next prompt was to find out who can be the best doctor)

(Old Man Hobo has been taken to the doctor's office.)

Symptom: Fever

SMG4: Ahh jeez! You have a high temperature! There's your problem!

(SMG4 washes the Old Man Hobo in a tub of cold water. He is screaming.)

(A man with a Toad cap on his head is the next patient)

Symptom: Toad Disease

Mario: Ooh...looks like we need to get rid of that toad part!...

(Mario grabs a crowbar.)

Mario: Hey! Are you ready to Mariocise?

(Mario begins to try prying the Toad cap off the patient's head. He ends up tearing off his whole head)

Mario: Mario think you fantastic!

Symptom: Fatness

SMG4: Umm..uh...pills right? Pills fix everything!

(SMG4 tried stuffing a GIGANTIC pill into Wario's mouth)

SMG4: Come on Wario!!! Gotta eat pills your own size!

Sympton: Pregnancy

Mario: Okie dokie! Get ready to move your penis!

(Mario had a vacuum cleaner with him and he tried to suck Eggman's penis off)

(Next prompt was who can hold the pizza the longest while fighting off Chica. Mario is teasing SMG4)

Mario: Pizza! Pizza who? Pizza the heck outta me!

(SMG4 punched him and Mario fell into the ground. The two of them then appeared in the pizza palace)

Mario: Wahoo! I'm the winner!

(Chica then makes an explosive appearance)

Chica: Pizza!

(In horror, Mario and SMG4 ran for their lives)

Chica: Pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza!

Mario: Mama-mia!! What do I do?

(Mario then had an idea)

Mario: Hey stinky!

(Mario chucked a pizza near him)

Chica: Pizzaaaaaaaaaa!

(Suddenly the Pingas head came out from the pizza and knocked him out)

Sound effect: Pingas!

Mario: laughs

SMG4: Oh God! ok...I think I'm safe here...

Chica: Pizzaaaaaaa!

(SMG4 looks upwards to find out that Chica was on the roof, then Chica fell on the ground near him)

Chica: Pizzaaaaaaaaaa! Pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza!

SMG4: (Screams)

(SMG4 makes a leap to the other side of the 1st floor but fails, so he falls to the ground floor where Chica was waiting for him)

Chica: Pizza!

SMG4: (Screams again)

Mario: Mama mia!

(Mario hides himself in the vending machine)

Chica: Pizza? Pizza!

(Mario freaks out as Chica kept pressing the button. Mario was thrown into the cash register)

Chica: Pizza!

(But there was no pizza in the box. Mario had ate the pizza)

Mario: (Dazed groan and burps) Yummy!

(Mario was then tortured by Chica. The next prompt was to find who was the most easily scared. Mario was lying unconscious)

Boo: Oooooooooh....Peekaboo!

(Mario and SMG4 were not scared at all. The Boo did the same noise, only this time, he wore a skull on his face)

Mario: (Not amused or scared) Ooh! Very scary!

(The Boo put a Justin Bieber mask on his face)

Boo: Oooooooooh.... GET IN MY BELLY!

(SMG4 and Mario freaked out through similar reactions. The former jumps back in horror and explodes, the latter throws himself all the way near the door)

Mario: (Screams)

SMG4: Oh what the f*...(Explosion)

(Next prompt was to find out who can defeat the giant Mario Head faster)

Mario Head: Oh boy.

Mario: Yippee! Let's a go! Hey stinky!

Mario Head: Hello!

Mario: Take-a-that!

(Mario distracts the Mario Head with spaghetti. Then he uses his Super Jump Punch to send him flying up in the air)

Mario Head: (In slow motion)Whoa....

Mario: (In slow motion) Hadouken!

Mario Head: Whaaaaaaaaaaa!

(Mario defeated the giant Mario Head in 9.5 seconds)

Mario: It's a Mario time!

(SMG4 looks nervous as the Mario Head came back)

Mario Head: Oh yes! Thank you very much! Thank you!

(SMG4 freaks out and uses his gun to kill the Mario Head. SMG4 defeated the giant Mario Head in 1.5 seconds. SMG4 started dancing, but Mario was angry)

Mario: Fffffffff*******.......

(The next prompt was to find out who could shoot the Waluigi Launcher the farthest. SMG4's farthest shot was 91 meters)

Waluigi: Waluigi Launcher!

Mario: Wahoo!

Waluigi: Waluigi Launcher!

Mario: Let's a go!

(Mario started adding Bob-Ombs and Bullet Bills, followed by a giant bomb into Waluigi's ass)

Waluigi: Sweet merciful crap!

(Waluigi went everywhere around the world and in the end, he was dragged in by the space himself. Mario's farthest shot was infinity)

Mario: Oh yes! I'm the winner!

(SMG4 was on fire and was really mad)

SMG4: Ah f*********......

(Next prompt was to serve Tubby custard to a restaurant full of hungry, ravenous Teletubbies)

Mario: Whoohoo! Ha ha! How hard can this be???

(SMG4 took a look at the big room and jumped back)

SMG4: (Keeps saying no)

(Mario took a look, only to find out that there were more than 50 Teletubbies in the dining room)

Mario: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Teletubbies: Tubby custard!

Mario: Eeek!

(Mario then found himself crushed by all the Teletubbies. The next prompt was to find out who can get the most Luigi dolls)

Luigi Doll: Go Weegee! Couchi couchi! Nintendo!

(Mario had a net with him)

Mario: It's a me, Mario! Here we go!

(Mario dived right into one Luigi doll, but it jumped and Mario missed)

Mario: Ommph!

Luigi Doll: Yaaa!

Mario: Mama f*cker!

(Mario tried again but missed and crashed into a building. SMG4 had devised a trap with spaghetti and a rope)

SMG4: Cmon...take the bait...

Luigi doll: Wow! Oh yeah! Couchi couchi! Couchi couchi! Couchi couchi!

SMG4: Just a little...bit...

Luigi doll: (In slow motion) Couchi couchi!

(The Luigi doll was this close to the spaghetti until suddenly Mario gets in the way by eating the bait)

Mario: Ohoo hoo hoo hoo! (eats spaghetti) Oh yeah!

SMG4: You son of a b*tch!

(Later on, Mario knocks out the Luigi dolls with a tank. Back at the castle....)

NintendoFan997(X): Unfortunately, this is our last round today! D: Let's see what it is!!!!

(Next prompt was to survive an afternoon with Frankie)

Frankie: It's muffin time! Who wants a muffin? Somebody kill me!

(Mario and SMG4 were annoyed with each other)

SMG4: Mario...i'll kill you if you kill me first...

Mario: No!

NintendoFan997(X):...maybe I should of chose a more exciting challenge... Ehh screw it, I'll just add more to it!

(The whole thing got really dark all of a sudden, and then a spaceship with the Pingas head appeared. The prompt said who can survive the war of the Pingas)

Mario: Whoa!

Pingas Spaceship: Snooping as usual I see?

(SMG4 was exploded by a Pingas flying saucer)

Frankie: Why won't you let me die?

(The Pingas flying saucers were chasing Mario)

Mario: Whaaaaa!

Pingas Flying Saucer: Ping as usual? Ping as usual?

(As SMG4 and Mario panicked, the next prompt came where they have to survive 10 seconds of Justin Bieber)

SMG4: No! God! Please no! No!

(Then there was another one where they have to survive a musical with the Toads. The Toads popped out and sang "Let it Go" from Frozen. SMG4 and Mario ran away as they sing)

Toads: #Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold me back anymore!#

(Another one appeared where they have to survive a battle against Super Sonic. Sanic was in mid-air. Another one appeared, where they have to survive Jigglypuff singing in it's deep voice. Then there was a prompt where they have to survive a giant Yoshi with laser eyes. The giant Yoshi shot his laser eyes at Justin Bieber and he was launched a bit farther off)

Toads: #Let it go! Let it go! Turn away and slam the door!#

(Inside the castle, X was on his laptop adding lots of prompts)

NintendoFan997(X): Ooh! That's a good one...and that one...oh! You got to have one!

(Back outside first, there was a prompt where SMG4 and Mario have to survive watching Teletubbies make love with each other. SMG4 fainted and Mario was on fire)

Mario: I am on fire!

Toads: #I don't care what you're going to say#

(SMG4 and Mario ran away from lots of things, a raisin lady, a lot of Weegees and the attack of the Nyan cat. X then came outside)

NintendoFan997(X): Alright guys! How's the challenges going?

(SMG4 and Mario were going separate ways as they tried to get away from everything they despised)

NintendoFan997(X): Ahh crap...maybe I went a little too overboard...

(X pressed a button that made everything disappear)

Mario: (Panting)....pingas....pingas everywhere.......

SMG4: Wah....what happened?....

NintendoFan997(X): I'm sorry guys...I sorta messed up the final challenge... I guess we won't have a decider...

Mario: Ah hell no! Not on my watch!

(Mario, SMG4 and X were in the Final Dimension in Super Smash Bros Melee. X announced the very final round which was called "Stupid Rap Battle of Italians!")

Mario: #It's a me Mario I'm the best don't you see There's nothing better in this world except spaghetti! You think you got the grooves of Mario's moves? I'm sorry but you don't even compare with my man boobs! Hey I kick the Koopa ass! And I save the Princess That's my Peach! I'm a number one and you suck Pingas! You b*tch!#

SMG4: #Well I didn't know being a fatty was so cool Humping that spaghetti while you sit and drool You keep eating spaghetti, always wanting more But sorry not me I'm SMG4! You're suppose to be plumbing doing other crap instead While you just sit at home with Luigi in bed!#

Mario: #YOU MAMA F*CKER! WHAT DID YOU SAY? Oh you dead now! Imma make ya pay! I'll take two chopsticks And shove them up your ass#

SMG4: #Uhh no sorry I think I'll pass#

Mario: #You sit at home all day on your PC like no end You think that would explain why you have no girlfriend You think you got swag? Even if you're a hag? Ha! Well Mario's got it in the bag!#

SMG4: #Girlfriend? Are you kidding? That's just rude Considering your girlfriend is just a puddle of food Look at my followers who doesn't love me Why not subscribe? It's totally free! I think I win this one Mario buddy Why not go home and hump some Teletubbies#

(But Mario was very angry not just because he could not think of anything else to say in his rap but also because of what SMG4 said for his last line)

Mario: You son of a b*tch! (Roars)

(Mario ran at SMG4 and started attacking him. SMG4 was freaking out and trying to fend him off. X shrugged his shoulders after watching them fight of a few seconds. A black background appeared showing a question of who won and who you decided against. Then the 2015 SMG4 credits appear)