R64: Return to Freddy's Spaghettria/Transcript

This is a transcript of Retarded64: Return to Freddy's Spaghetteria

Transcript
(The blooper opens with WARNING: This video contain strong language. Not suitable for anyone under 50.)

(The Retarded64 intro starts, just like most other Retarded64 videos did.)

Title: REDY4FREDDY Games presents:

CM: Video gameplay: Info: Video gameplay: (Shows Box art along with Mangle, who twitches slightly and Foxy, his mouth open and the words "(EEEing intensifies)
 * Poster of Freddy Spaghettiria for NES
 * Appear Freddy with the poster
 * Title (flashing): Super spooky and fun gameplay!
 * Miyamoto's Ghost: I'm a ghost now! BOO!
 * Flashing title: Friendly characters and happy gameplay!
 * Foxy is dancing, and Freddy show his ass.
 * Bonnie: I'M GOING TO LOVE YOU!!!!

Mario: (Sarcastically) Ooooh, very scary.

Mario: I can't believe that stupid spaghettiria made their own game! They fire me without giving me free spaghetti and then they make a game! Well, ha! No one is gonna play that piece of crap!

(Toad plays the game, gets jumpscared by Toy Bonnie, screams and then explodes.)

Mario: (Kicking open door) TOAD!! Seriously, shut up!

Toad: Fuck you, kid, you're a dick!

Mario: What the heck are you screaming about anyway?

PC: Freddy's Spaghettria                                                                                                                                               Press Start

(Toy Bonnie is seen twitching his eyebrows and pointing at them)

Toy Bonnie: Now with eyebrows!

Mario: Oh, come on! How could you do this to me, Toad?!

Toad: Shut up! I need to see my wife Foxy! :DDDD

Mario: (Looks shocked, then angry) OK, that's it! No more computer, we're reading books from now on!

Toad: NO! NO WAY!!! AHHH!! (pushes Mario)

(Mario gets scared)

Toad: My precious!!

Mario: I bet that game isn't even good!

Toad: Yeah, bitch?!

Mario: I could do this with my eyes closed. Mama mia, I'm the winner!

(Miyamoto's ghost jumpscares Mario)

(Mario screams and flies to the wall)

(Game over screen shows Toy Freddy wonky-eyed and screen shakes)

PC: GAME OVER YEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! GAME OVER TRY AGAIN Would you like to play again?

Mario: (dancing to the door and singing) Fuck this shit, I'm out. Mmmm. Fuck this shit, I'm out. No thanks. Don't mind me. I'ma just grab my stuff and leave. Excuse me please.

Toad: (blocking the door) NO! You ain't going anywhere unless you beat that game! Unless you're too scared, loser! (laughing) Like a loser, like a loser!

Mario: (grunts) MAMA-HOO-HA-HOO-WOW-WOW!! I'M SO GOOD, I CAN TRANSPORT MYSELF INTO THE GAME AND BEAT THOSE ROBOTIC ASSES, AGAIN!!

Rock Wizard: Okie-dokie!!

Mario: AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! WAIT WAIT WAIT!

(Mario and Toad get sucked into the portal Rocks opened. Mario makes it, Toad gets stuck)

Mario: Whoa, YA-HAHAHA-HOW! TOAD! GO BACK! I WAS JOKING! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!

Toad: I can't! My head's stuck.

Mario: (Goes to the office)

Toad: Hey, don't leave me all alone!

(phone rings)

Phone guy: WAZZZUUUPPP!! Welcome to your new job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.

Mario: (Starts crying) WAAAAAHHHHAHAHA!

12 AM

Mario: (Opens a locked door) Oh no!

Phone Guy: Uh, now I want you to forget anything you may have heard at the old location.

Mario: Uh, somebody!

(Mario gets caught by light near Show Stage. Toy Freddy looks at the scared Mario.)

Toy Freddy: (waving his arms and singing) I love you! You love me!

Mario: Woo! They're friends this time!

Toy Freddy: (still waving his arms and still singing) We're a happy... (deeply, while scanning Mario) family! With a great big hug, and a kiss from me...

Toy Freddy's System: BARE FAT ITALIAN NEEDS SUIT!

Toy Freddy: (stops singing and waving, pulls out Golden Freddy suit) GET IN MY BELLY!!

Mario: (runs into the Office and hits the wall) OWOWOWOWOWOWOW! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! WHERE'S THE DOOR BUTTON?!?!? YES! IT HAS TO BE THIS ONE! (presses Flashlight button)

Toy Freddy: (In the hall, dancing) HATERS GONNA HATE!

Mario: WAAAH! (Turns off Flashlight, builds a barricade, and holds a cross) Out of this house! OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!

Toy Bonnie: (entering from the Left Vent with a sword) I'm going to saw through your dick!

Mario: HAHAHAHAH-!!!

1AM

(Mario looks around Office, he has built barricades on the vents and the entrance)

Phone Guy: That restaurant should be the safest place on Earth. So our our temporary...

Mario: TOAD! IS YOUR ASS OUT OF THE PORTAL YET?

Phone Guy: ...solution is this. There's a music box over...

Toad: No.

Phone Guy: ...by the Prize Counter that's...

Mario: (Grunts)

Phone Guy: ...rigged to be wound up remotely.

(Alarm blares because music box stopped playing. Music box version of Pop Goes the Weasel plays as Puppet gets prepared to kill Mario)

Balloon Boy: (On monitor) It's raping time!

Mario: (Quickly winds the music box) Ahh! Mama mia! Hoo hoo!

(Pop Goes the Weasel stops)

Toy Bonnie: (In Left Vent) Hey guys!

Mangle: (In Right Vent) *radio static*

Toy Bonnie: (deeply) I wanna play a game!

Mangle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Toy Chica: (Flies over entrance barricade) Whee!

Mario: (Grunts)

Toy Bonnie: Alright guys, please get ready. *whispers* Penis.

Mangle: PENIS!!!!

Mario: (Gets even more angry)

(Alarm blares)

Mario: (Grunts even more)

Toy Chica: BAHGAHK!

Mario: (rushes over to Prize Corner, destroying the barricade, and puts a sleeping Wario on top of Puppet.) Oh boy. Finally!

Toy Freddy: Ah, ah, you're cheating!

Mario: (Head gets big) I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

2AM

Phone Guy: See, I told you wouldn't have any problems. You're a natural!

Mario: (Pressing flashlight, but it doesn't work) Ugh! Useless flashlight!

(Toy Bonnie is seen dancing in a party room)

Phone Guy: I'm sure you've probably noticed the older models...

Mario: WHAT?!?!

Phone Guy: ...sitting in the back room.

(The old animatronics are shown, Bonnie is just sitting there, Freddy walks out of the room, Foxy is sitting on the toilet, and Chica is looking at the menu for pizza)

Chica: Piiizzaaaa.

Mario: Mamaf*cker!

(Bonnie walks into the Office angrily, which makes Mario scared.)

Mario: AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Balloon Boy: Can I come in your room?

Bonnie: (punches Balloon Boy) MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB!

Mario: Whoa!

Toy Freddy: Hey there-

Bonnie: (punches Toy Freddy) RUB A DUB DUB, THREE MEN IN A TUB!

Mario: Friendly songs at least...

Foxy: (in Party Room) I'm coming for...*sees Mangle*

(song "Hello" by Lionelle Richie plays, music stops when Mangle reveals her body)

Mangle: AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Foxy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! (explodes)

Bonnie: (Singing) If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Mario: No!

Bonnie: BETTER FUCKING DO IT NOW!

Mario: AHHH! (claps quickly)

Freddy: (in hallway) MARIO!

Mario: Aw, crap!

Freddy: YOU MUST DIE!! (runs to the office with a shotgun)

Mario: AHH! (quickly finds a Freddy Fazbear mask and puts it on) Hello, sir!

Freddy: What the hell? Have you been taking drugs, cousin? You always were an idiot.

(Mario gets annoyed)

(Chica is bawking at a phone)

Freddy: Time for some fun! (takes off Mario's clothes) Ugh, now I know you're not gay! (starts chasing Mario) I'm interested in your mind, not your fake breasts, baby!

(Mario locks himself in a room)

Freddy: SCREW YOU! Whatever, you suck balls!

Mario: Hey! Where'd my wallet go?

Pizza Guy: Your order for 10,434 pizzas comes to 1,034,523 coins.

Coins on card: 24

Chica: PIIIZZZAAAAAA!!

3AM

Balloon Boy: (In Left Vent, singing) Dashing through the vents, this story makes no sense!

Mario: (angrily throws grenade at Balloon Boy)

Balloon Boy: AHH! (explodes)

(phone rings)

(Phone Guy constantly says "Hello", which leads Mario into banging his head on the floor)

Mario: Hmm? Hmm...

(Arcade Machine appears in the Office and sucks Mario in)

(Mario finds his way to his first minigame)

Mario: Mama mia!

Give cake to children.

Children: Where's my burrito? Where's my burrito?

Mario: Uh, BYE! (tries to leave, but game pushes him back in. So he gives children cake)

Level complete!

Level 2!

(There are 10 children, so Mario crushes them with a tank)

Mario: YOLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Give Gifts, Give Life.

(Puppet tries to complete this minigame, but Mario dances like Michael Jackson to "Everybody Dance Now", which brings the children to life; one of them turns into Snoop Dogg; Puppet goes away as they all dance)

Go go go!

(Foxy tries to complete this minigame, but Mario hits him with his kart)

SAVE THEM

Mario: (Singing) La-la-la, hm-hm-HMM! La, la, la, hm-HM-hm-hm-hmm!

(Mario follows Puppet while pelvic thrusting, but Purple Guy stops him)

Purple Guy: SUP, FUCKER!

(Mario returns back to office)

Mario: Ahh! Ahh! What in the fuck was that?

(Purple Guy appears on Show Stage and laughs like Sonic.exe)

Mangle: * radio static*

Purple Guy: Stupid dog! You make me look bad! (puts on Freddy Mask) OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!

Mangle: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

3:30 AM

Phone Guy: I can personally assure you, they...

Toy Chica: (In Prize Corner, on computer) Hello everybody, hee hee hee.

Phone Guy: ...act fine. But when they encounter an adult...

Balloon Boy: Butt scratcher! Butt scratcher!

Toy Bonnie: Shut up and take my money!

Bonnie: (looks at Barney poster) Mom? Mom, is that you?

(Purple Guy laughs as he walks to Balloon Boy)

Balloon Boy: Who wants a muffin?

(Purple Guy reaches him and turns him evil)

(Purple Guy walks to Bonnie)

Bonnie: Mom, don't go. Mom, I love you.

Purple Guy: (laughs)

Bonnie: (punches Purple Guy) MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB!

(Purple Guy flies to Wario, and Wario falls off)

(Alarm blares)

Meanwhile...

(Peach's Castle)


 * *doorbell rings*

SMG4: Yes?

Guy: Uhh, one of you tried ordering over 10,000 pizzas at our shop... You only gave us 24 coins, it costs 134745 coins.

SMG4: WHAT?!

4AM

(Mario is throwing stuff at Toad)

Toad: AHH! NOOOOO! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

Mario: (Grunts) Mama mia! Why'd you have to have a huge head!? Ah, I'll try again later...(looks shocked)

Puppet: (on computer) Heh heh heh!

Mario: No no no! No no no no no no! No no no no!!

Puppet: (runs to office) Get over here!

Mario: (presses flashlight) Stop right there!

(Puppet looks around confused)

Mario: Sweet rave party! (spams flashlight as Tetris: Type A plays)

Balloon Boy: (walking from Left Vent) Oh, hey Mario!

Mario: (Notices Balloon Boy and screams)

(Troll Song plays as Balloon Boy laughs and cuts off flashlight power; Puppet stops looking around and continues to chase Mario)

Puppet: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Mario runs through the right air vent, past Toy Chica)

Toy Chica: Do you want some pancakes?

(Mario goes to another room. Puppet jumps down in front of the door.)

Puppet: Surprise, motherfucker!

Mario: AHH! (notices pizza and throws it at Puppet) Take that!

Puppet: (Gets blinded by a pizza) AH! Oh my god!

Chica: (notices pizza on Puppet's face and charges at Puppet) PIIIIZZAAAAA!!!

Puppet: Oh my god, oh- (gets tackled to the ground by Chica)

(Mario runs from the room screaming)

SMG4: (Walks to computer) Mario?! Did you order 1000 pizzas??! (Notices Toad stuck in the computer and looks shocked)

Mario: (Mario peeking into main hall, sees Balloon Boy, Toy Chica, Toy Bonnie and Toy Freddy all under Purple Guy's control) That has to be the guy who's behind this! But how to get rid of him...

5AM

Mario: (Wears a Freddy mask and goes to find Freddy, Bonnie and Foxy who are hanging out in the parts and surface room.) Hey, brother. I need help from you and your friends for a prank.

Mario: (On a ceiling pillar wearing the Freddy head talking through a walkie-talkie) Okie-Dokie.

Foxy: (Singing) Yar-har fiddle-dee-dee, being a pirate is (gibberish)

(Bonnie attacks Toy Bonnie)

Bonnie: RUB A DUB DUB, THREE MEN IN A TUB!

Mangle: (radio static) (disables the light for a second, then Freddy shows up next to Toy Freddy)

Freddy: Hi there. (Shoots Toy Freddy)

Foxy: (slaps Toy Chica's ass) Slap that ass, motherfucker!

Balloon Boy: (laughs and gets interrupted by Mario punching him)

Mario: Hey stinky! (Punches Balloon Boy)

Purple Guy: Alright, alright, what's going-?! (gets hit by a flying Balloon Boy)

(Chica is still attacking Puppet, and Puppet runs away sobbing)

Purple Guy: (shoots the old animatronics) Well, thanks for doubling my work... Now I have to kill you and fix this mess up...

Puppet: HEY! I'm the guy who's gonna kill him!

Purple Guy: Oh hell no! Bet you're not as good as me!

Puppet: Oh, it's on asshole!

(Puppet and Purple Guy fight)

Mario: (Grunts) Hey, stinky! (picks up the Mangle Lawnchair)

Voice: Rocket Launcher!

Purple Guy: What is that? A peashooter?

(Mario fires a rocket from Mangle at the stage, destroying it)

Purple Guy: Run, bitch! RUN!

(Puppet screams)

Purple Guy: We need to get out of here! Start the car!

Puppet: What?

Purple Guy: I said get in the fucking car!!

(Purple Guy and the Puppet get in the purple car and attempt to escape while Mario chases them in his kart while wielding the Mangle Lawnchair)

Purple Guy: Gogogogogogo! (throws a child at Mario and both crash into a wall)

Mario: It's-a-me, Mario!! (gets attacked by an enraged Puppet and flies into Puppet's box)

Puppet and Purple Guy: (singing) ''You just got owned FTW! Now you're dead, you're dead cuz we killed you, we took you by surprise!''

(music box alarm blares, leaving Purple Guy and Puppet in shock and spamming the WIND ME button)

WARNING: MUSIC BOX OVERLOAD

(WIND ME button explodes)

Heavy(off-screen): Ka-Boom!

Mario: (Slowly rising out of the box) It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, but I'm all out of gum.

(The Puppet and Purple Guy scream, and Mario jumpscares them.)

6 AM

SMG4: C'MON! YOU FAT- (pulls Toad out of portal)

Mario: Oh, Mario get you next time!

(a "PORTAL CLOSES IN 10 SECONDS" warning shows up)

Mario: Mama miaaaaaa!

(Mario doesn't hesitate to jump into the portal)

Mario: Yahoo-hoo! Yay, yeah!

(SMG4 and Toad are in shock)

Mario: Hoo hoo! Let's-a-go! Why you guys shocked? Did you miss me? Well, I'ma go eat some spaghetti now! (Walks away and sings) Lalalala-LA-lalalala! Lalalala-la, hm-hm-hm!

(Chica shows up in front of SMG4 and Toad)

Chica: Piiizaaaaaa.

Video ends.