Super Mario 64 Bloopers: (percent)99(percent) Beroken/Transcript

This is a transcript of the SuperMarioGlitchy4 video "99% beroken".

Intro
(The video starts with Parakarry the Paratroopa flying down to Mario's House to deliver his mail. He explodes on landing)

Parakarry: MALE MUTHAF**KER!

(Mario crawls out of his house)

Mario: Oh, they don't pay me enough for this shit, ugh.

What is it this time?

(Parakarry throws the letter at him)

Mario: Ohh! It's from the princess!

She finally messaged me for once!

(Toad pops out of the envelope)

Toad: THE PRINCESS HAS BEEN CAPTURED!!!

Mario: SHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUU...

(Toad starts screaming as Parakarry watches in confusion)

Parakarry: Dafuq?