SM64: ṩṩἔᾗмὄḋᾗᾄʀ 9 - Time travel edition/Transcript

(The blooper begins in the hospital hallway where Mario was crying that Luigi is dying where it shows Luigi lying on the bed)

Mario: Noooooo ho ho ho! LUIGI!! Oh No!

(Dr. Mario unsuccessfully throws pills to tries to revive the dead Luigi)

Dr. Mario: (Singing his bentalfloss's song) I am Dr. Mario and I am saving life. In the Mushroom Kingdom...

Mario: (gets angry) No, how could they do this to Luigi!

(Cuts to the scene where Mario Grand Prix happened "5 hours ago", with Wario taking the lead and about to win the race)

Wario: (Singing) I won, I wo-on! I won I won I wo-on! I won, I wo-on! I won I won I wo-on!

Luigi: Oh, hell no! (Gets a rocket launcher from the item box) I'm a Luigi, NUMBER ONE, MOTHERF***ER!! (Fires a Bullet Bill)

Bullet Bill: I'M COMING FOR YOU, N***A!

Wario: Nyah, nyah, nyah nyah-

(Wario gets hit and is out of the race)

Luigi: Oh yeah! Go Luigi! (Starts dancing) Go Luigi! Go Luigi! Go Luigi! Go Luigi!

(Suddenly, Luigi gets slipped by a banana peel, crashes, and his car explodes, and Luigi seems to be dead...but he gets back up quickly)

Luigi: good thing I didn't die...

Mario: LUIGI! Hello!

(Turns out it was Mario who crashed Luigi and broke his body all along and cuts back to the hospital scene)

Mario: BULLSH*T!

Luigi: Mario, is there a racing in heaven?

Mario: No!

(Luigi breathes one last time and dies)

Dr. Mario: You are dead. (Singing) Game Over YEEEEAH!

Mario: Luigi? LUIGI?! (Starts crying) Luigi don't go! who's gonna make my spaghetti?

(Suddenly, a phone is ringing from the dead Luigi and Mario picks up the phone)

Mario: Hello!

E.Gadd: ey, Luigi! you there? Luigi?

Mario: Luigi is dead!

E.Gadd: Luigi is dead? oh no this won't do. this won't do! i need him for a very important...experiment...to go buy me milk...and well you're too fat to do it mario.

Mario: Hey, shut up!

E.Gadd: ohh! i just had a brilliant idea! stay here!

(throws a device through the window)

E.Gadd: presenting: the E.Gaddifyer 2000. a time and space travel machine if you will! go save Luigi! though possible destruction of the time space continuum.

Mario: YOLOOOOOOO! (Goes to a time portal)

E.Gadd: should of mentioned you can't control where you end up...

(Static)

(Girl Is Taking A Pie Out Of The Oven)

(Mario Aimed At The Window, Falls Down)

Mario: Woaaaaaa!

(Girl Screams And Gets Hit By Mario)

(Static)

(Mario is around a dumpster)

Mario: Hmm?

(Old man in turban comes out of dumpster)

Old man: You darn kids get off my property!

(Static)

(SMG4 and SMG3 are talking)

SMG4: Oh you are so ugly! Oh goobai! Goobai! WHAT THE F*CK IS A HELLO KITTY?

(Hello kitty doll head appears on screen, and SMG4 appears from the left of the screen making a troll face)

(Static)

(Peach, Mario and Luigi hit a golf ball. Luigi's ball ricochets off a rock)

Luigi

Lucky me! Oh yeah!

(The ball hits him in the crotch)

Waluigi: Ohhh, that's a-gotta sting like a super scope to the nuts!

(Wario turns around to see Po throwing punches at a golf ball. He shakes his head and walks over)

Wario: Hurry up will ya?

Po: (In Ralph Wiggum's voice) I'm learnding!

Wario: Oh my f!cking god! (pulls out a golf club) Shank it! Eehehehee!

Po: Ooooooooooh. (starts jabbing the golf ball and screaming)

Wario: Oh...

(Static)

(A Shy Guy walks along, outside Peach's castle making Shy Guy noises when he sees a super mushroom on the ground. He then eats it and starts tripping out while the music: Electrodrome from Mario Kart 8 plays. He hallucinates 9 sexy Shy Girls dancing before him. He then hallucinates the red Shy Girl dancing and laughing towards him. The Shy Guy falls in love and dances towards her.)

Shy Guy: Bring me that ass!

(The mushroom wears off and the Shy Girl turns into a Gourmet Guy)

Gourmet Guy: Okey Dokey!

(The Gourmet Guy jumps up into the air proceeding to flatten the Shy Guy)

Shy Guy: Nooooooo! (gets flattened) SH!T!

(Static)

(A video plays of Donkey Kong farting loudly while holding his bottom. The young Koopa Troopa watching the video on his computer laughs hid head off. SMG4 pops up from behind the computer)

SMG4: That's not funny you sick f!ck.

Koopa: Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh!

(Static)

(Jbro109 walks to the Yoshi with a crowbar.)

Jbro109: Howdy there, Shulk (?)

Yoshi: Top of the morning to you, Jon.

Jbro109: You know I'm hungry, what should we eat?

Yoshi: Some of that good ol' watermelon.

Jbro109: Oh yeah.

Jbro109 and "Yoshi": Eat dat watermelon, eat dat watermelon, eat dat watermelon. Sure is good! Eat dat watermelon, eat dat watermelon, eat dat watermelon. Sure is good! (Then watermelon explodes leading to a text showing "Don't Hump Watermelons."