S̶M̶6̶4̶: `•.¸¸.•´´¯`••. .• ( Tubbie TV ) •. .••`¯´´•.¸¸.•`/Transcript

This is a transcript for S̶M̶6̶4̶: `•.¸¸.•´´¯`••. .• ( Tubbie TV ) •. .••`¯´´•.¸¸.•`.

Transcript
(The video begins with a shot of the outside of Mario's House. Cut to Mario inside, who is minding his own business.)

Mario: (sings the Super Mario Bros. theme)

(Cut to outside, where the Teletubbies are walking towards the house, carrying weapons)

(Inside, Mario is watching clips of him and Po dancing on TV. Suddenly, the Teletubbies burst through the ceiling and walls, firing guns everywhere and shouting unintelligibly. Dipsy hits Mario with a crowbar, and the scene cuts to Mario tied up and being held at gunpoint. Po walks up to the TV, showing Ness flailing wildly, wielding a harpoon.)

Po: STUPID, STUPID! (throws harpoon at TV, breaking it and causing it to go to snow)

Mario (offscreen): Hey!

(the Sun Baby appears on the TV, and the Teletubbies theme begins playing)

Teletubbies: (repeatedly) Yaaay!

Mario: No... no... NOOOOOOOOOOO! (camera zooms in on TV. Mario screams, and the scene cuts to Teletubby Land)

Lady (offscreen): Over the hills and far away...

(Cut to two Dipsies sitting at a table. Po leaps towards them swinging a crowbar, causing the table to explode and sending them flying)

Lady Narrator (offscreen): ...Teletubbies come to play.

(Cut to some Teletubbies dancing, then to Tinky Winky driving a tank. A speaker comes up from the ground)

Teletubbies Narrator (on speaker): Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Time for Tele-(gets run over by the tank)

Teletubbies Narrator: Tinky Winky!

Tinky Winky: Tinky Winky!

(Cut to Dipsy wearing a hat and smoking weed)

Teletubbies Narrator: Dipsy!

Dipsy: (holding up a gun) Dipsy!

(Cut to Laa Laa with a Shy Guy on her head)

Teletubbies Narrator: Laa Laa!

Laa Laa: Laa Laa!

(Cut to Po holding a bazooka in front of some burning buildings)

Teletubbies Narrator: Po!

(Music stops briefly, and Po walks up to the camera. The music starts again as Po screams angrily while jumping around)

Po: (screaming)

Teletubbies Narrator: Teletubbies! (Tinky Winky is blowing other Teletubbies up with his tank)

Teletubbies: Teletubbies! (Po and Tinky Winky are arguing over a game of chess, knocking over Dipsy in the process)

Teletubbies Narrator: Say... hel...lo! (Tinky Winky runs over many Teletubbies with the tank. Dipsy and Laa Laa appear from the sides of the screen)

Teletubbies (spoken): Eh-oh!

(Po drops down from above)

Po: GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

(Cut back to Mario's house. The Teletubbies are cheering, while Mario is screaming)

(Cut to Teletubby Land. The scene zooms inside Tinky Winky's house. Tinky Winky gets out of bed and walks downstairs singing)

Tinky-Winky: Just wakin' up from the late-night deathmatch,

Screen still shows the score from my dispatch

Two Snapcha...

(Song stops abruptly and camera cuts to some spilled Tubby Custard. Tinky Winky slips on it and yells as he falls)

Tinky Winky: Uh oh!

Teletubbies Narrator: One day, in Teletubby Land, Tinky Winky saw that somebody had spilled their Tubby Custard on the floor.

Tinky Winky: Somebody pilled the Pubby Cussard! {sic}

(Cut to Mario)

Mario: MOTHERF**KA! IT'S TUBBY CUSTARD! GODAMMIT!

Po: (holding a knife) Shut up before I stab you!

(Cut to Teletubby Land)

Teletubbies Narrator: But whoever it was had left footprints. Who spilled the Tubby Custard?

Tinky Winky: Who pilled the... (cut to Mario, greatly disturbed) ...PUBBY CUSSARD? (text briefly appears onscreen reading "PUBBY CUSSARD")

Tinky Winky: Oooh! (Brodyquest plays in the background as Tinky Winky follows the footprints. He passes Laa Laa and Dipsy on the toilet, and then enters the real world through a portal. He enters a Gentlemen's club, and passes by Harry Potter standing near Bowser's Castle. Harry waves at Tinky Winky.)

Tinky Winky: (music stops) You're a faggot, Harry! (shoots Harry)

(music continues as Tinky Winky enters a house in Teletubby Land)

Tinky Winky: Aah!

(Cut to Po, collapsed on the floor and surrounded by Tubby Custard)

Teletubbies (offscreen): UH OH!

Po: BITCH!

Teletubbies Narrator: Was it Po who spilled the Tubby Custard?

(Cut to Mario's house. The Teletubbies all say "yes" gleefully, while Mario just nods his head, fearing the worst)

(Cut to Teletubby Land)

Tinky Winky: OOOOOoooh... (throws a bucket and mop at Po) NOW CLEAN IT UP!!!!

Po: NOOOOOOOO!

(Po is thrown out onto the street)

Teletubbies Narrator: What a lot of mess! Tubby Custard everywhere!

(Noo-Noo appears, sucking up the Tubby Custard. Noo-Noo looks very different that what he does in the show)

Teletubbies Narrator: Look at that! (a picture of Noo-Noo from the show and text saying "Noo noo (that thing)" appear for a moment) The Noo-Noo is tidying up the Tubby Custard!

(Noo-Noo looks up and sees Tubby Custard on the wall)

Noo-Noo: HOLY SHIT, OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED?

(Po walks up to him)

Po: What do you mean, "what happened?"

Noo-Noo: On the walls!

Po: What are we talking about?

Noo-Noo: THE... SHIT ON THE WALL! (Po has a troll face and runs away, singing the Trololo song) EXCUSE ME! (enters the house) Ya stupid jackass... (unintelligible muttering)

Laa Laa: Tubby Custard, Tubby Custard! (eats the Tubby Custard messily, spilling it on herself)

Teletubbies Narrator: Tubby Custard all over Laa Laa!

Laa Laa: (giggling) Oh no!

Noo-Noo: GODDAMMIT, YOU GOT PAINT IN THE GODDAMN HOUSE! You BITCH! (smacks Laa Laa upside the head, who feels no pain)

(Sonic from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog appears on Laa Laa's computer)

Sonic: Kids, there's nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like! But if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good!

(Laa Laa looks down and sees Noo-Noo putting his mouth near her groin)

Noo-Noo: Ya stupid jackass... (unintelligible muttering)

Laa Laa: MOLESTER!

(Tinky Winky bursts through the wall wearing a police helmet and wielding a gun, with a police car parked outside)

Tinky Winky: WULULULULULU!

Noo-Noo: I'M NOT THE ONE THAT SHIT ALL OVER THE WALLS!

Tinky Winky: I don't give a fuck.

Noo-Noo: Please, have mercy!

Tinky Winky: (holding a bazooka) Fus ro DAH!

(Tinky Winky shoots Noo-Noo with the bazooka, and he is blasted away)

Noo-Noo: I can't believe I still work for this...

(Cut to Mario's house)

Teletubbies: Uh ohhh!

Mario: (thinking) You can do this. Everybody's looking at you! NO HO HO HO HOOOOOOO! The horror...

(Doorbell rings as Luigi enters the house)

Luigi: Mario! Ooh hoo ha ha ha... (suddenly looks surprised when he notices the situation at hand)

Mario: Luigi! (beat) Get me the heck outta here!

(Luigi backs away slowly)

Mario (offscreen): Hey, don't leave me all alone! Come back!

(Luigi exits the house and closes the door)

Narrator: And now we are back to Teletubbies!

Teletubbies: Yaaay!

Mario: GODDAMMIT!

(Cut to Teletubby Land. It is nighttime, and Laa Laa is walking down the street singing)

Teletubbies Narrator: One day, in Teletubby Land, Laa Laa was out for a walk...

(Laa Laa giggles. Club music can be heard in the background)

Teletubbies Narrator: ...when she heard something very unusual.

Laa Laa: Ooh! (walks up to a flashing building) Oooh... what's that? (enters the building) Ooooh...

(Cut to Dipsy dancing with some girls. Other Teletubbies and characters are in the background, and a screen reads "Dipsy Night club")

Narrator: Dipsy's getting it on with the ladies. (Laa Laa looks angry, and swings her crowbar) Laa Laa wasn't invited. (she lifts her arms up angrily) She was very angry.

(Po crashes through the ceiling. She is getting a lap dance from another girl)

Po: Uh... I can explain.

Dipsy: You are gay. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!

(Laa Laa mutters angrily, and then looks up with bugged out eyes and a red cap while wielding a bat)

Laa Laa: WHAT DID YOU SAY NIGGA?!?

(Laa Laa hits Dipsy with the bat, and runs around swinging the bat and rambling. Cut to Po getting out of her chair)

Po: (singing) Baby don't hurt me... Don't hurt me... (speaking) I love you!

(Laa Laa hits Po with the bat)

Po: Ohh hoh!

Laa Laa: Fucking... GOD...

(Laa Laa sits in the chair and gets a lap dance. Explosions start randomly happening everywhere, with many party-goers being hurt or burnt. Suddenly everything stops and a jingle can be heard)

Teletubbies Narrator: Time for Tubby Toast!

Laa Laa: Tubby Toast! Yay! *giggles* Tubby Toast! Tubby Toast! (runs out of the building)

(cut back to Mario)

Mario: COME ON! HAS IT FINISHED YET!?

Po: (holding a knife) SIT yo' five-dollar ass down before I make change!

(Cut to Teletubby Land. All four Teletubbies are crouching in a circle. They turn to face the camera)

Teletubbies: (whispering) Eh-oh! (continue whispering)

Teletubbies Narrator: One day, in Teletubby Land, all the Teletubbies were being very quiet.

Po: (normal volume) Woah, woah, woah. Wait up, you assholes. What are we doin' here?

Tinky Winky: Magic! *snort snort*

(the whole screen shakes and a rumbling sound is heard)

Mario: Oh no!

(The Sun Baby appears in the sky wearing sunglasses)

Sun Baby: I AM GOD, AND YOU SHALL BOW BEFORE ME.

Noo-Noo: HALLELUJAH! HOLY SHIT!

Tinky Winky: Yaaaah!

Po: Oh, it's beautiful! Aaah...

Sun Baby: Ready for a CRAAAAAZY adventure, BITCHES? (shoots blue lasers at Po. Po giggles, and the screen on her stomach shows Mario)

Teletubby Land Mario: Oh ho! Hello! It's-a me, Mario!

(Cut back to Mario's house)

Real Mario: ...WHAT?!

(Cut to Teletubby Land. Steve appears behind Mario in a red Teletubby suit.)

Teletubby Land Mario: Have you ever given up on life and just wanted to become a giant creepy teddy bear?

I know I did! And now you can too!

(A light flashes, and Mario has become a red Teletubby)

Real Mario: WHAT THE FUCK?!

(A remix of the Super Mario Bros. theme starts playing, and Teletubby Mario starts dancing to it)

Real Mario: (looks shocked) ...oh.

(Teletubby Mario continues dancing with Steve)

Real Mario (offscreen): Oh. OH. (onscreen) OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! (Mario continues screaming like this)

(Teletubby Mario and Steve start twerking. Cut back to Real Mario screaming, then cut to Teletubby Mario twerking in front of a surprised Walurambo. Suddenly the music and screaming stops, and Mario turns back to normal)

Teletubby Land Mario: Oh, boy! That-a makes me so happy! (Real Mario screams offscreen again. The speaker comes up and makes an foghorn sound)

Speaker: Time for Tubby bye-bye! Time for Tubby bye-bye!

(Cut to Mario's house. The Teletubbies sound disappointed. Mario is absent from his chair)

Tinky-Winky: BUH-BYE?

(Credits roll past extremely fast. The only real words are "PINGAS", "HI MA!", "WHY YOU READ THIS", "Item Right", "I LOVE YOU!", "Longer Item Right", and "egg". The rest is gibberish)

(Cut to Po. A picture of Mario's head with a question mark appears by her. She looks down and sees that Mario is dead, accompanied by the sound of a fly buzzing)

Teletubbies: Uh ooooh!

(The Angry Indian Guy comes in)

Angry Indian Guy: Hey weird teddy bears! you finally got your first view on your TV channel!

And it only took you guys 2 years, congratulations!

(The Teletubbies jump around and celebrate. Tinky Winky has a gun, Dipsy has a hat, Laa Laa has crazy eyes and a baseball cap, and Po's head is replaced with Mario's)

(outro plays)

(end of video)