R64: Mario for Hire.

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Retarded64: Mario for Hire. is the 194th video made by SuperMarioGlitchy4 and the 8th episode in the Retarded64 series. In this blooper, Mario accidentally destroys his own car with two firework rockets, crashes into Bowser's car and has to work to obtain more money to buy a new one (Peach gave him the idea).

Transcript
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Mario's old kart
The video begins with yoshi, Luigi, Waluigi, and Peach racing on a Mario Kart track (this is a Team Fortress map), where "They see me rolling" can be heard as Luigi drives by and Peach can be seen flying across the track singing in Heavy's voice and exploding violently. Mario watches them, and decides to test out his amazing rocket-kart. After dreaming about all the swag he would get and Peach and Daisy sucking up to him, Mario tries to drive the kart, but fails. As Mario is uncontrollably flying down the track, he accidentally hits a Guy who was warning Little Billy (Baby Mario) to not play in the street because it's dangerous, and Luigi sees Mario and also notices he is headed straight for an Old Lady crossing the road. Luigi practicies heroism by pushing her out of the way, but Mario swerves and hits her anyway. Mario then crashes into Bowser's car, destroying it and his kart in the process. The Old Lady survives somehow, and Bowser arrives to find his car ablaze. He asks what happened, and Mario said that it was Luigi. Bowser then rages heavily upon Luigi and blows Luigi up. Mario runs away, bearing a Troll face.

The car
In the next scene we find Mario at a mall parking lot, seeking a new kart. He tries to steal someone's car, but he is caught by the cops with the classic "STAHP RITE THERE!!!". He manages to escape, and sees the Mall entrance. Upon entering he sees a bunch of cars for sale, among them the Tubby Custard car and Mario's Spageti Delivary van. Mario appears to be infatuated with a sports car, but he actually wanted the tube-pipe kart underneath it. After daydreaming of all the jealousy the car would create, he begins to hump the vehicle saying, "This makes me so happy.". An employee tells Mario to not hump the cars. Mario then brings the kart to the cashier, and asks the price. The cashier replies, "IT'S OVER 9000!" Mario doesn't appear to be worried, since he brings in his "Mario's happy money safe!". After opening it, we see that it's empty. Mario then tries to get the kart for free, but ends up being severely beaten up. After returning to the castle, Mario asks Peach for some help. After learning Mario wants money, she throws him out of the castle. She then tells Mario to get a job. Mario goes "WHOAAAAHHH" with realization.

Super Mario job time!
Mario sets up a stand that sells genuine princess-worn clothes. Bowser pays Mario 10 coins for some, but then Peach sees the deed and charges Mario with the intention of injuring him severely.

Super Mario fixing time!
Mario goes to Pokemon trainer's house and tries to unclog his toilet using a Bob-omb. While the trainer is using the toilet, the bomb explodes, sending the trainer hurdling off the toilet.

Super Mario Internet time!
Mario gets a job working at the internet place, where Lakitu, his first customer, explains a lot of information on the computer he wants. Mario, impatiently, asks for money. Lakitu pays him one coin.

Super Mario cafe time!
Mario gets a job at Starbucks and works alongside Zero Suit Samus. While Steve makes a very large order, Eggman appears and "Gangnam Style" plays. Mario punches him away and begins humping Samus. Mario earns several hundred coins before Peach catches him humping Zero Suit Samus. Mario flies away frantically.

Super Mario business time!
Mario gets a real desk job to try and earn his money. He becomes hungry, and asks for food to Trevor Phillips who was lying down on a desk. Trevor doesn't care, and tries to shoot Mario. Mario evades and Mega Man gets shot instead. Mario then sees Heavy Weapons Guy (aka Garry)'s sandwich, and tries to take it. Garry says no, and throws Mario against some file cabinets. he appears to masturbate while saying "Om nom nom", then realizes that someone (Mario) stole his food while he wasn't looking. Garry then rages, and Mario again said it was Luigi. Garry beats up Luigi and throws both himself and Luigi through a window of a business meeting.

Time to take this fight...up a notch
Mario is frustrated that he cannot make enough money for the kart. He decides to go clean some pipes at a random house. The first house he goes to is Daisy's, who waves at him, smiling and giggling. But, an old man asks him what took him so long (he thought Mario was "Jerry") and forces him to fix the pipes in his house while saying "Back to work, fool!" in Mr. T's voice. After a lot of nagging from the old man, Mario finally snaps, "Fuck you, old man!"

Toad's Idea
Toad gives him the idea of robbing a bank. With Toad disguised as a baby, they both get into a bank. Toad distracts the bank teller while Mario grabs the money. Mario then gets arrested along with Toad. While in jail, Mario sees the "LODS OF EMONE" commercial (with Starman3, SuperMarioGlitchy4 and Luigi) that said to "sell yourself for some money". After Mario got out of jail, he sold Toad and got his money.

End of the Episode
Mario finally buys the kart. After a couple of laps on the track, Mario hits Luigi with the kart and sends Luigi flying into Garry's gun. Garry is enraged, shouting "WHO TOUCHED MY GUN?!" Mario tries to run, but Luigi said it was Mario to get his revenge. Mario asks Garry if they could be friends, only for Garry to respond, "FRIENDSHIP IS STUPID MAGIC!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU AND KILL YOU AND..." but he gets interrupted by Mario replying "NO!". Then Mario turn into the Swag Mario that he imagined in his daydream, to be stronger, but Garry beats him up, and throws him across the track. Mario's new kart then lands on him, and explodes.

Characters

 * Mario
 * Guy (cameo)
 * Little Billy (cameo)
 * Yoshi
 * Luigi
 * Peach
 * Waluigi
 * Wario (cameo)
 * Bowser (2 cameos)
 * Steve
 * Heavy
 * Lakitu (cameo)
 * Daisy (2 cameos)
 * Old Man Hobo
 * Toad
 * SuperMarioGlitchy4 (cameo)
 * MarioMario54321 (cameo)
 * EpicYoshiFan (cameo)
 * Starman3 (cameo)
 * Angry Indian Guy (cameo)
 * Carnival People (cameo)
 * Pokémon Trainer
 * Crazy Woman (as Old Lady)
 * Shy Guy (cameo)
 * Samus Aran
 * Teletubbies
 * Mega Man (cameo)
 * Shrek (cameo)
 * Trevor Philips (cameo)
 * Stormtrooper (cameo)
 * Buzz Lightyear (cameo)
 * Dr. Eggman (cameo)
 * Kw977 (cameo)

Trivia

 * The name is a play on the YouTube series Sonic For Hire
 * When Steve is ordering his food he has Big Smoke (a character from the videogame GTA: San Andreas)'s voice.
 * Shrek makes a cameo appearance in this blooper, in the "Super Mario Business Time" part when the phone is ringing.
 * This marks the first 2014 appearance of Starman3 in SMG4's videos, after being absent a long time because SMG4 and SM3 weren't friends anymore. However, it might just be his color code re-used, it's his first appearance since Ssenmodnar 6 (New Year's edition) his first appearance in a Retarded64 Video and his first appearance in a while.
 * This is the 4th time that Shy Guy never speaks or says 'YEAH TOAST!!!' This is also the first time we see his shocked face.
 * This is the first time Heavy appeared for more than 3 seconds.
 * This is the second time that we see Lakitu in Garry's Mod, the first being "The Blooper Competition".
 * Before Mario finds his new kart, a Ferrari can be seen.
 * When Heavy says "What the fuck do you want?", that same audio clip is used by SMG4 in Cooking with Bowser and Mario 2.
 * When the roof of the bank is broken by Teletubbies, there is a white Dipsy (Dipsy is the green Teletubby) instead of Laa-Laa (the yellow ones).
 * When Toad and Mario got arrested, Toad says to Mario, "Nice job, dickface" as though the bank robbery was Mario's idea but it was Toad's.
 * When Daisy giggles, she has the same voice as Princess Peach in SM64 guides: Toadsworth's How to-Princess when Prince Steve was attempting to woo her.
 * When Luigi is diving his kart in the race at the beginning of the video, the song Ridin' Dirty from Chatmillionaire is heard playing, even though Luigi isn't doing his death stare.
 * In the café scene, if you listen carefully after Samus' "Come on already!", Steve repeats what he just ordered.
 * Steve's order was: 2 number nines, a number nine large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7 and 2 number forty fives, one with cheese.
 * Of all of her appearances This is Samus Arans most biggest appearance.
 * When Mario finds his new kart, his Spaghetti Van and The Tubby Custard Salesman's vehicle from Retarded64: Mario's Spageti Delivary can be seen.
 * The scene with Baby Mario may be a reference to the first Retarded64 video: "Retarded64: Mario Goes Shopping".
 * When Mario is fighting Heavy, the opening of Attack on Titan can be heard, making this the second time the opening of Attack on Titan can be heard, the first time being "Cooking with Bowser and Mario 2!".
 * Heavy's quote, "Friendship is stupid magic!" is a reference to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
 * The LODS OF EMONE thing on the TV originally came from Harry Enfield.
 * When a letter is said, a loud "slap" sound effect can be heard. This is because it's from another YouTube video, which was about PAYDAY 2.