Guards N' Retards: Le Train Breach/Transcript

(Shows a corridor on a train)

Caption: Somewhere, on a train...

(Camera pans to show a room with Chris and Swagmaster in)

Swagmaster: So do you think my Idea will work?

Chris: For the last time! Telling girls you got ebola from the war doesn't make you any more attractive.

Swagmaster: B*tch! All the ladies scream in rejoice when they see me! All you got is your mom. Lololol!

Chris: Yeah, well at least I don't mistake mine for a naked hobo on the streets.

(Sad music plays as a close up of Swagmaster is shown.)

Random Lady: Umm... excuse me, but the higher-ups have asked...

Swagmaster: Hey sexy, I've got ebola! :D

(The lady runs away, screaming)

Swagmaster: See Chris? Screams of rejoice! :D

Chris: Sigh....

(The Intercom alarm sounds)

Sargent Mark: (through intercom) You idiots! I didn't pay to scratch your balls! Get off your break and back to work!

Chris: Sargent f*g is at it again... Better get back to work.

Swagmaster: What a butt hole...

(Scene cuts to the cargo)

Swagmaster: Why can't he just shove the precious itens up his a*s so HE can guard it... God...

Chris: Why do you think he hired guards to protect the cargo? Idiot.

(Scene shows a Spy with the Intelligence)

Spy: Hi!

Swagmaster: Oh sweet! Another guard is covering for us! Let's go spank some ladies Chris!

Chris: YOU DUMBA*S! IT'S A FRICKING SPY!

Swagmaster: WHAT? IS IT REALLY A SPY?! (Licks spy's Pingas) HOLY CR*P! (Pulls out gun) IT REALLY IS A SPY! LET'S KILL THIS DUMBA*S! Chris let's kill him now!

Chris: (Shocked) Wait... what did you just...

Swagmaster:(Fires gun at spy) AAAAAHFGAFRTHFRDSARAARAARARARARRARRR (Swagmaster keeps missing)

(The Spy grabs the intelligence and runs)

Swagmaster: WAIT, WHAT? WHERE DID THAT BUTT HOLE GO? MAGICS CHRIS!? HE IS A WIZARD!

(The Spy exits through a door, which closes)

Chris: AHHHH THE SECRET INTELLIGENCE!

Swagmaster: SWEET JEBUS HE'S USING MAGICS!

Chris: SCREW THIS! I'M NOT GETTING FIRED JUST YET! (Pulls out Walkie-Talkie) Sargent! You need to stop the train!

Sargent Mark: What? Why would I do that?

Swagmaster: It's an emergency! CHRIS IS PREGNANT! SARGENT, STAHP RIGHT NOW!

Sargent Mark: SWEET JEBUS ON A STICK!

(We see the train screech to a halt)

Chris: You're a retard, you know that?

Swagmaster: LOL Chris no time for talking. Let's go stop that wizard!

I'll carry on working on this soon. :D

Mark:

f*g is at it again...