Sonic the Derphog: Eggventure (GET IT!?)/Transcript

This is the transcript for Sonic the Derphog: Eggventure (GET IT!?).

Transcript
(The video starts with a view of Green Hill Zone. Cut to an area where Sonic the Hedgehog is sleeping. He is suddenly waken up by Omochao running up to him and screaming)

Omochao: Hey! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get-

(Sonic punches Omochao, knocking him out)

Sonic: Dude, seriously, shut up! Man.

(He runs across the bridge, but is once again stopped by Omochao)

Omochao: Hey!

Sonic (stopping): Huh?

Omochao: You have to saaaaaaaave the world!

Sonic: Does it look like I care?

Omochao: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE THE WORL-

(Sonic shoots Omochao, killing him. Tails pops up from behind the waterfall)

Tails: NOTICE ME SENPAI, NOTICE ME SENPAI. NOTICE ME!

Sonic: Tails, SHUT THE F**K UP!

Title: Sonic the derphog (Sonic is running through Green Hill Zone, but runs into something and gets knocked out)

Sonic: Ow! What the!?

(Sonic realizes he ran into one of Dr. Robotnik's robots)

Sonic: Oh, oh, what the f**k?

(Sonic notices Dr. Robotnik sitting on top of his Death Egg, waving at him. Sonic groans)

Dr. Robotnik: Ho ho ho! Hi, friend! Like my Eggbot 2000?

Eggbot 2000: PINGAS!

Sonic: It's sh*t!

Robotnik: Ha ha! Wow wow! Hey, no need to get mean! Ohh. The bot has feelings too!

(Eggbot 2000 laughs. Cut to Eggbot 2000 bending over in front of Sonic)

Sonic: Uhh, why is it bending over!

Robotnik: I think that's the mating position?

Eggbot: BUTTS. BUTTS. BUTTS. BUTTS. BUTTS.

Sonic: OK, Eggman, just what do you want?

Robotnik: I just wanted to be your friend!

(Sonic throws Tails at Robotnik, who screams. He lands at the bottom of the cliff and farts. Eggbot gets up and leers at Sonic)

Eggbot: BRING ME THAT A$$.

(Sonic smashes Eggbot, causing him to explode as Sonic runs away)

Sonic: Too easy! Piece of cake!

(Robotnik sheds a single tear. Sonic continues running along when Robotnik pops up behind him)

Robotnik: Hoo hoo!

(Sonic gasps)

Robotnik: PINGAS!

Sonic: Huh?

(Sonic runs into a cave, screaming. Inside, Sonic is crawling around, yawning, when Robotnik appears in front of him, lying seductively)

Robotnik: Oh, you touch my tralala.....

Sonic: OH WHAT THE FU-

(Robotnik thrusts wildly as Sonic screams in horror. Later that afternoon, Robotnik is upside down inside a trash can as Sonic hyperventilates)

Sonic: OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT? AHHHHH-HAAAAA! No no no no no! Nooo!

(Robotnik hops away and off the edge of the cliff)

Robotnik: PINGAS. PINGAS. PINGAS. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Sonic: I...I can't take it anymore! I'm gonna do it!

(Cut to Sonic standing at the edge of a cliff)

Sonic: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!

(Sonic jumps off the cliff)

Sonic: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! GOODBYE TO EVERY FRIEND I KNEW!!!

(Cut to flashback of Sonic standing around while Amy Rose and Tails bother him)

Amy: Buy me more jewelry!

Tails: NOTICE ME SENPAI! NOTICE ME SENPAI! PLEASE!!!

(Flashback ends. Sonic is still falling)

Sonic:...WHY HASN'T THIS FALL ENDED YET?

(Sonic lands on a spring and gets sent flying right into Robotnik's Egg Mobile)

Robotnik: What's up?

Sonic: AH! Get away from me, Pinhead!

(Cut to Robotnik with a pin-shaped head)

Robotnik: Who you callin' pinhead?

Sonic: LET ME OUT!

Robotnik: Let's go to my house! Yes!

(Sonic struggles to get out)

Robotnik: Don't touch the buttons!

(Cut to a beach where Shy Guy and Tails are waiting as Sonic goes by, screaming. Cut back to Sonic who is still screaming and accidentally activates the warp drive)

Robotnik: Unbelievable! I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRESS ANY BUTTONS!!

Sonic: WHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Robotnik blubbers incoherently as the two teleport out of the area. Cut to a city in the Real World where the Egg Mobile lands and explodes)

Sonic: GREAT! Thanks a lot, Eggman!

Robotnik: What?

Sonic: WOW!...Umm...nothing...

Robotnik: What is this place? I can rule this place! I'm the best in the world! Yes! I can see it now!

(Robotnik imagines several Robotniks in the area)

Robotnik: RESPECT ME! IVO ROBOTNIK!

(A red car drives by)

Driver: NEEEEEEERRRRRRRD!

Robotnik: Dr. Robotnik!

Sonic: I'm getting out of here!

(Sonic runs off, leaving Robotnik behind)

Robotnik: HEY! What about me!?

(Sonic notices several humans)

Sonic: ...Are we...in a different dimension or something? Huh?!

(Sonic is interrupted by a TV screen turning on to "BREAKING NEWS")

News Reporter 1: Welcome to Human News! We got some awesome news for you! But first, boring news of aliens crash-landing in human city.

(Cut to a female news reporter standing with Dr. Robotnik)

News Reporter 2: I have with me a really fat alien. Hi there! Where do you come from?

Robotnik: You are really good looking! I just wanna spank your a$$. (he smacks the woman, knocking her out) and be like BLEE BLEE BLOO!

News Reporter 1: In other news, nothing has happened.

(Sonic groans and charges towards the Egg Mobile)

Sonic: LEEEEEEEROOOOY! JENNNNNKINS!

(He crashes into the Egg Mobile, sending people flying)

Robotnik: Dafuq?

Sonic: You're getting me back home! Got it Eggman!?

(He throws Robotnik and himself into the Egg Mobile, then teleports out of the city. Cut to Sonic and Robotnik landing in Teletubby Land as the Egg Mobile explodes)

???: BOO-

Sonic: Sweet mother of god...

(Cut to many Teletubbies standing around in the center of town)

Sonic: GET ME THE HECK OUT OF HERE!!!

Robotnik: We're out of gas...

(Sonic stares in horror as we pan to the Petrol Shop, located on the other side of town)

Robotnik: OK! Who can blend in the best?

(Cut to Robotnik walking through town wearing a Cat in the Hat-like hat. He stops and talks to one of the locals)

Robotnik: Yo, what's up? Brilliant!

(Robotnik hears someone giggle and sees a Teletubby staring at him)

Teletubby (giggling): Uh oh!

Robotnik: OH MY GOD! AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(He runs through town, screaming. He stops to catch his breath)

Purple Teletubby: Tubby Custard! Tubby Custard!

Robotnik: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! AAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHH!

(Robotnik runs through town, screaming incoherently. Cut to Robotnik jumping up and down in the Petrol Shop as a green Teletubby watches him. He throws the petrol at Sonic, and continues screaming. Cut to Sonic in the Overworld from Minecraft)

Sonic: Huh...this place isn't so bad!

(Cut to Robotnik drowning in the river as Steve looks on. We then see the Egg Mobile land in the Cannon near Peach's Castle)

Robotnik: Hee hee hee. Ho ho! How about that? This is perfect! I shall take over this place!

(He goes up onto the roof of the castle)

Robotnik: And I shall call it: EGGLAND!

Sonic: Right...OK, I'm leaving!

Robotnik: Wait wait! Let me get something!

(Eggbot 2000 appears on the roof of the castle)

Eggbot: SnooPINGAS usual, I see?

Robotnik: EGGBOT 2.0! You shall nicely ask the owner of this place to hand over their land!

Eggbot: NO!

Robotnik: HEY! Don't defy my orders, stupid robot!

(He throws something at Eggbot, causing him to malfunction and start shouting unintelligibly)

Robotnik: OK, now we can go!

(Robotnik runs towards the Egg Mobile, but is stopped by an explosion)

Robotnik: NO! Dafuq?

Eggbot: NOW I CAN SAMPLE THE WEAPONS SYSTEM TO MAXIMUM POWER! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

(He falls off the roof as Mario comes out of the castle)

Mario: Will you shut up?! People are trying to sleep!!!

Sonic: This should be a piece of cake! I got this! I have plenty of rings! Here I come! I'm invisible! I have collected a lot of rings! :D

(Robotnik shoots Sonic, but no rings come out)

Robotnik: Unbelievable! Nnnope! No rings! You liar! >:( Grrr, finish it! It seems that I must finish it!

(Robotnik pulls out some pills)

Robotnik: I present to you my secret weapon!

(Robotnik eats the pills, only to start saying "PINGAS" uncontrollably and suddenly explodes, leaving behind a pair of legs)

Sonic: My! That's a pretty snazzy performance there!

Robotnik: B*TCH!

Eggbot: NUCLEAR MISSILE MODE ACTIVATED!

Sonic: Oh sh*t!

(Eggbot bends over as a rocket comes out of his butt)

Eggbot: Butts! Launcher activated in 60, 59, 58...

Sonic: Eggman! Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it!

Robotnik: Yes! It's so evil...brings a tear to my eye...

(Sonic groans and runs off. Suddenly, Robotnik is approached by a Teletubby who looks just like him)

Dr. Robotnik the Teletubby: One day, in Teletubby Land, Dr. Robotnik made a bowl of Tubby Custard!

(Robotnik screams and throws Dr. Robotnik the Teletubby at Eggbot, causing him to start counting lower)

Eggbot: 44, 43, 42 (spazzes out) 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Sonic: YOU SON OF A B*TCH!

(Eggbot fires the missile, but Sonic does not approve)

Sonic: NO!

(Sonic runs off after the missile as "Gotta Go Fast" plays in the background. In Glowshire Village, we see a castle guard watching the missile approach him)

Guy: Oh look! :D a pretty star!

(Cut back to the Sonic chasing the missile, which now has Steve riding on top of it)

Sonic: YOU'RE TOO SLOW!

(He is stopped by a Cop)

Cop: Stop! Hammer time!

(Sonic shoots the Cop, killing him as we fade back to Glowshire Village)

Guy: HI GIANT FLYING STAR!

???: IT'S A TRAP!

(Sonic appears in front of him and knocks the missile out of the way)

Sonic: Come on, step it up! B*TCH!

(The missile flies back towards Eggbot, who is celebrating while text saying "EGGBOT VICTORY DANCE" appears beneath him. He grabs the Egg Mobile and uses it to block the missile)

Eggbot: Touch my PINGAS! We all love a good PINGAS joke.

(The missile hits him and he warps out of the area. Cut back to Green Hill Zone, where Tails, Amy, Rouge the Bat, and Shadow the Hedgehog are being retarded. Knuckles the Echidna pops up, enraged)

Knuckles: GUYS, SHUT THE F**K UP!

''(Eggbot lands on Amy, crushing her and everyone else)

Eggbot: Oh, f**k me...

(He explodes. Back at Peach's Castle, Robotnik is still freaking out while Sonic is congratulated by Omochao)

Omochao: YOU SAAAAAAAVED THE WORLD!

Dr. Robotnik the Teletubby: THE END.

(Robotnik screams as the video ends)

End of transcript