Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Account Loss/Transcript

Text: Today supermarioglitchy4 came to visit mario.

(fade from black to inside Peach's Castle, where Toad and Mario are having a conversation)

Toad: and that's how it happens.

Mario: Cool tell me more about puberty!

Toad: uhh I think I may have told you enough..or too much.....haven't you ever heard of puberty before?

Mario: no...I'm sure I didn't have it either.

(doorbell rings)

Mario: hey the doorbell rang who could it be?...please be food!!! (walks towards the door) come in!

(fade to white for a moment, and fade back to the door, where someone wearing blue and white is standing. An offscreen audience is applauding thanks to his appearance)

Guy wearing blue and white: hi mario everything going good?

(applause stops)

Mario: oh no not again...this is the third hobo that came into the castle today, go away you hobo! go play with rats.

Guy wearing blue and white: don't you know me mario?????

Mario: ..............................hmmm mum?

Guy wearing blue and white: no I am not your mother mario, I am SUPERMARIOGLITCHY4 *his text appears on the screen*

Mario: oh yeah your that crazy guy on youtube that I work for. Let me just say your videos are weird...so what are you doing here anyway.

(SMG4 walks into the main lobby)

SMG4: oh you know just checking up on you guy to see if you are okay.

Mario (offscreen): How come you never check up on us before? SMG4: My lawyer said I had to.

Mario: how long are you going to stay?

SMG4: Just today.

Mario: today?! Noooo! I don't want my boss to hang out with me!!! That's what luigi would do whatever I'm going to go do a wizz outside (runs offscreen)

(cut to black for the intro. The Super Mario 64 logo appears, with the text "bloopers" under it)

(cut to Mario outside near the cannon and the pond)

Mario: why doesn't peach have a toilet? *jumps in the pond* awwww yeahhh that's better. I would be sorry for the guy who swam in here

(Mario gets out of the pond and runs towards the castle. He gets to the bridge when he hears a voice)

??? (offscreen): hey over here

Mario: who said that

??? (offscreen): under the bridge

(Mario jumps down to the bottom of the drained moat)

Mario: who are you?

??? (offscreen): well let's just say that i'm a shady charachter

(cut to ??? to show that he is completely black except for his eyes, buttons, sideburns, and hat logo)

(cut back to Mario)

Mario: what do you want from me??? are you a thug? because my boss pays me in rocks

???: oh I'm not going to hurt you

I just want to make a deal

Mario: what's the deal

???: you give me your boss's password to his account on youtube

and I will give you all the pasta you can eat, do we have a deal?

(Mario has disappeared)

???: hey where did he go?

(cut to the castle, where Mario is)

Mario: got to find the password for free pasta!

where can it be?

toad! do you know what smg4 password?

Toad: I think he wrote it down at his house

Mario: thanks

(cut to Mario and Goombario at SMG4's house)

Mario: ok I think this is his house

why does he have luigi guarding his door

need to k.o him

say ow luigi!

(Mario swings his hammer at Luigi, and a smacking sound is heard. Cut to Mario and Goombario going inside the house)

Mario: I'll hide the dead body later

ok password where could smg4 have put it?

(walks into the bedroom) nope not in here

if I had a password I would hide it underground

(Mario jumps on a hidden panel that flips over and reveals a secret room) bingo! now to steal!

(cut back to outside Peach's castle. ??? is talking to Peach)

???: you know I'm new in the neighbour hood

(Mario arrives)

Mario: hey! I'm back!!!

(Peach has turned into Lakitu)

???: you bring the password?

Mario: yes, here you go

now give me pasta!!!

(Lakitu has turned into a sign)

???: good,good...I got your pasta

just turn around for 5 seconds and your pasta will be here

Mario: you think I'm so stupid don't you? (Mario looks away for a split second as he says this)

(??? is gone)

Mario: uh where did he go?

(cut to inside the castle, where SMG4 is staring at a wall)

Random Guy (offscreen): excuse me can i tell you something

SMG4: huh? yes what is it?

Random Guy (offscreen): there's no easy way to say but...you are going to die

SMG4: what? who's going to make the smg4 bloopers?

Random Guy (onscreen): oh your smg4?

forget what I said (runs away)

Mario: smg4!

SMG4: what? I'm trying to concentrate to the wall!

Mario: smg4! a person stole your account

this guy wanted your password and I gave it to him and...(sniff) hey do you smell pasta

smg4? are you ok?

you don't look so good

(SMG4's left eye twitches (famously used as SMG4's YouTube account's currently-previous avatar), and a sound that sounds like a kettle boiling)

(cut to outside the castle. a train whistle is heard as SMG4 yells)

SMG4 (offscreen): YOU WHAT!!!!!!!!!

(cut back to inside castle)

SMG4: why did you give a way my account!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(starts punching the wall) AHHJHHHHHHHH! I told you not to press that reset button!....uhhh I mean

ALL MY HARD WORK TO A STRANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWR!

(Mario is slowly walking out of the castle)

Mario: just quietly tip-toe out of here

SMG4 (offscreen): I NOW HATE ITALIAN PEOPLE!!!!

Mario: sheesh it's just a movie he doesn't have to make a big deal out of it

(cut to Mario outside the castle)

Mario: well while smg4 rages I'm going to take a quick nap

everything doesn't seem so bad with his account gone

I'm-a tired... *YAWN* (Mario falls asleep. cut to black)

Text: a few winks later...

(Mario wakes up to see that most of the textures are messed up, he is naked, and his left hand is missing, a mixed reference to 3 bloopers: Have you seen this Polygon?, Enter X and (presumably) Mario Swag (not released at the time))

Mario: good morning...hey something is wrong

why does my butt feel so cold

and why is my left hand gone

(Mario runs around a circle for a little bit, and his torso bends backwards at a 90 degree angle like he's limbo-dancing)

Mario: and why does the world look like a hippie world!!!!!

??? (offscreen): HAHAHAHA!!!! Mario: who's that?

??? (offscreen): I'm the guy who stole smg4 account all thanks to you

and since I took his account I can control you now!!!!!

Mario: no! I won't let you control me!!

oh no why is my body moving?????

(Mario runs towards the castle)

Mario: noo not that way! NOOOOOOOO! ??? (offscreen): HAHAHAA

(cut to Mario in Bob-omb Battlefield, which also has glitchy textures)

Mario: what are you going to do to me???

??? (offscreen): kill you!

(??? makes Mario run into a rolling cannonball)

Mario: nooooo!!!

(Mario dies. Cut to black)

Text: many evil things done to mario later

(Cut to Mario in the pond, with most of his body, head included, submerged. His left hand is back)

Mario: I....think I'm going to drown

??? (offscreen): hahaaa! eat water

(Mario's head surfaces)

Mario: hey I control my body again

??? (offscreen): your lucky I have to go do something but I will come back to control you!

Mario: well the water taste like pasta so maybe...no! I must stop him with the help of smg4

(cut to Mario entering the castle. His clothes are back on and the textures are back to normal)

Mario: smg4! I need you!

(SMG4 is punching the same wall)

SMG4: RAGGGGGGGGEEE! Mario (offscreen): wow he's still angry

Mario (offscreen): mr smg4 sir I need your hellllp

SMG4: WHAT DO YOU WANT!

Mario: I wanted to ask if you want to help me get your account back

SMG4: hmmm that could work

fine first we have to try to get into my accoutn and change the password

Mario: but we don't have a computer

SMG4: well I know a nerd who has one

lakitu can we use your computer?

Lakitu (offscreen): fine...but don't disease it with viruses

(cut to SMG4 in the room with the painting leading to the Princess's Secret Slide)

SMG4: ok I got the computer running mario

mario? are you listening??????

(Mario is looking at a picture of Peach)

Mario: give me a kiss peach!!!

huh what did you say? I was trying to kiss peach

SMG4: oh forget it

just watch me

ok now we login to youtube

(SMG4 types his password in)

Mario (offscreen): what's your password?

SMG4 (offscreen): go away

(SMG4's password is incorrect)

SMG4 (offscreen): what the? it doesn't work

Mario (offscreen): did you type it in right?

SMG4 (offscreen): cmon!!!! (presses the "Sign in" button multiple times, but nothing happens)

SMG4: the guy who got my account changed my password! what can we do now? ooooh I got an Idea!

Mario (offscreen): are you sure? I didn't see a light bulb

SMG4: I will send a letter to youtube telling them about my problem!

Mario (offscreen): ok then let me type I'm a fast typer

Mario: out of the way let the master type

Text: (type type type)

Mario: ok now see how good it is

SMG4: ok let me see...

Mario's message:

To: yootub Subject: HELPZ! Body: dear utube

sum guy stol meh acccount help me oorr I willz chargez my lazers at utubes!

fom suphmarjioglichyfour :D [three evil emoticons]

Mario: well then you try! SMG4: I can't explain that

SMG4: ok then i will

Text: (type type type)

SMG4: DONE! come look at this masterpice

SMG4's message:

To: youtube Subject: account problem Body: Dear YouTube

a stranger has taken my account password and he has changed my password, I cannot log in, please help

from supermarioglitchy4

Mario: I could have done better

Mario (offscreen): whatever send it SMG4: OK....

(clicks the "send" button)

SMG4: ok I sent now we wait

mario? Mario (offscreen): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

SMG4: maybe I should just get a quick nap

(cut to SMG4 sleeping. He is woken up when the computer makes a noise)

SMG4: wah? what was that? hey we got a letter

SMG4: hey mario youtube sent us a message Mario (offscreen): what...let me see

YouTube's message: Dear Supermarioglitchy4, it was your responsibility [winking emoticon]

from YouTube

SMG4: well so much for that plan

Mario: so now what do we do?

SMG4: now we go to the source of the problem

(cut to black)

Text: somewhere in a unsecret location...

(cut to ??? outside of the castle)

???: haha! I shall close smg4's youtube account!

right after i finish this game of pacman

Mario and SMG4 (offscreen): STOPPP!

(Mario and SMG4 run towards ??? at different directions)

???: you guys think you can stop me?

(??? jumps really high, causing Mario and SMG4 to collide with each other offscreen)

SMG4 (offscreen): OW! mario! Mario (offscreen): sorry I wasn't looking

SMG4: oh no he's going to close my account..we lose

Mario: I don't think so..I planted a little something on his labtop

SMG4: what do you mean?

(??? is on the castle roof)

???: haha! now to close his account!

(a ticking noise can be heard)

???: wait a minute is my labtop suppose to be ticking?

that isn't any old ticking..uh-oh

(cut to SMG4 watching ??? explode offscreen)

SMG4: woooow...

wait a minute he was the only person who knew my new password

(record scratch)

Mario: oh-yeah...

hey look there's a note that fell out of the guy's pocket

it's says your password is-

SMG4: don't say it outloud!

ok...so that's the password..what gay one

well mario I guess i gotta go make more bloopers

Mario: yeah guess so..

(cut to Mario, Peach, and two Toads waving)

Mario: see ya smg4!

SMG4 (offscreen): don't worry I'll come back!

Mario: and tell the viewers THANKS FOR WATCHING

(Lakitu flies away)

Lakitu: thank god I hate them

(fade to black, as if it is the end of the video, then a post-credits scene begins: cut back to the top of the castle where a headless ??? is)

???: MAMA F***ER!

End of Transcript