User blog:FoggyGlasses55/What Holidays mean for the rest of us

I was bored so I decided to make fun of holidays.

New Year's - A day where we can get drunk to start off the new year.

MLK Jr. Day - NOT NATIONAL MILK DAY.

Valentine's - Where a girl goes with a guy to prom so as to be not rude.

President's Day - Celebrating famous presidents along with 30 other obscure ones we don't even know.

Saint Patrick's Day - Celebrating Saint Patrick while not even knowing who Saint Patrick is.

Easter - A holiday where Christians celebrate Jesus's death

Passover - A Jewish holiday that hasn't been polluted by popular culture yet, like Christmas. Lucky them.

Mother's Day - Your mother's second birthday.

Memorial Day - A day where we honor the deceased veterans. Hey, I can't joke about the dead. That's just rude.

Father's Day - Your father's second birthday.

Independence Day - That one day of the year where Americans can be nationalist without starting a flame war.

Columbus Day - Where we feed children lies and propaganda about Columbus. FYI he didn't even reach American mainland.

You Kippur - Okay, seriously, who DOESN'T know about Yom Kippur?

Halloween - A day where we're SUPPOSED to be scary. SUPPOSED to be.

Election Day - The rise of Trump.

Veteran's Day - A day where we celebrated war veterans until BLM JUST HAD TO BEAT ONE UP AT MCDONALDS.

Thanksgiving - A holiday where we thank over the 100000 Natives whom we all killed in gratitude.

Christmas - A holiday that a lot of people celebrate. Even some that aren't Christian.