Mario

Mario is an Italian plumber originating from Nintendo's Super Mario franchise. Mario is usually featured as one of two main protagonists of the SMG4 series, due to the use of Super Mario 64 as it's foundation. He is the older brother of Luigi and the designated hero (a loose term) of the Mushroom Kingdom, and (formerly) the archenemy of Bowser and lover of Princess Peach. He sometimes refers to himself as Mario the Sexy Plumber.

In SMG4's videos, as opposed to his selfless heroic portrayal from the Nintendo canon, Mario is portrayed as an immensely dumb, narcissistic ass befitting the comedic nature of the series. His annoying and stupid behavior often antagonizes and ruins people's lives.

Description
Mario is an Italian plumber originally from Nintendo's Mario franchise. As most of SuperMarioGlitchy4's bloopers make heavy use of Super Mario 64 and its characters, Mario is the main protagonist in the SMG4verse and appears in most of SuperMarioGlitchy4's. He has been part of the main cast since the first season, alongside SMG4. He is also known as the older brother of Luigi. According to The Grand Mario Hotel, he is known as Stupid Mario (or as he calls himself Mario Sexy The Plumber).

For the longest time, it was uncertain whether Mario was a hero or a menace to the Mushroom Kingdom. In earlier days, Mario didn't really care about his heroic status, preferring to eat, sleep, or do whatever he wanted. He also loved pulling pranks on people (read Toad, SMG4, Luigi, Bowser) and carried pairs of panties wherever he went. The people closest to him learned to cope with his daily idiocy (for some, like the aforementioned Luigi and SMG4, they more or less have functional friendships with him, whereas Toad can hardly stand to be in the same vicinity as him, especially these days.

Biography
Mario's origin in the SMG4 universe is convoluted and thus virtually unknown, due to contradictory information. According to how Mario was born, Mario was born out of a cosmic event and crashed in Nintendo's headquarters. While on a playground, he reproduced by budding and gave birth to Luigi (which would make him Luigi's birthparent). After taking refuge in a dumpster, SMG4 found the two brothers and offered them jobs. Mario however, debunked this story, as the book detailing this was written by some hobo.

In The (TOTALLY ACCURATE) Documentary of Mario, his origin was retconned, and it was revealed that he was born in 1928 (though this might be a joke since if Mario was born at that time, he would be 91 years old today). However, his unknown father was apparently disgusted at Mario's appearance and tried to kill him with a combat knife to "prevent him from laying eggs." This incident was accidentally photographed by either his mother or a doctor for his celebration card, where he was mistaken for a girl. Instead of being happy though, his parents abandoned him on an alley (it was possible that it was the father's idea and the mother was reluctant) and sped off, accidentally crashing and dying. 2 years later, Mario was found and taken to an orphanage where he met Luigi and formed a bond with him. (though Mario would occasionally mistreat him)

When Mario and Luigi attended high school, Mario wasn't much of a great student but was nevertheless popular at the time. He, however, had a tendency to dance in the shower. It was also here where his spaghetti addiction started. At some point, he started taking drugs. These led to horrible consequences, and Mario started acting completely insane and weird, such as trashing an office and speaking in German despite being Italian, spooking his classmates on a pool, dancing on the roof, and finally burning the school down to the ground, much to the principal's frustration. As a result, Mario's reputation hit rock bottom, and it would take 2 to 3 years before he recovered.

Afterward, Mario and Luigi searched for a job and joined The Plumber Academy for Idiots, and though Mario did not graduate (as he apparently must have missed 3 years of class), he still got the job. Some years later, he was called by Princess Peach Toadstool to help clean up her castle. There he met Bowser for the first time, and traumatized the Koopa King by making him drop his sandwich. Ever since then, Mario visited the castle more often. At some point, he also became Nintendo's mascot, but due to rumors about him taking drugs again, he was fired but retained his mascot status. This origin has yet to be officially proven.

Appearance
Mario wears a long-sleeved red shirt, blue overalls with yellow buttons, brown shoes, and with gloves. He has a red cap, brown hair, a black mustache and blue eyes. He is shorter than his younger brother Luigi.

Personality
"There are only three things that tub of flub cares about. One: Spaghetti. Two: himself. And three: being naked. See, he's over there doing it right now."

"Hey, I'm not retarded! I'm just dumb!"

In Nintendo canon, Mario is a friendly plumber who helps anyone in need, devotes most of his time to rescuing the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, and participates in sports matches, kart races and "parties" often.

In the SMG4 universe, however, Mario is a completely different person. While still being kind and having a heroic status, Mario in this universe is more of a lazy, mischievous, foul-mouthed and occasionally selfish moron. He cares mostly about only himself and his favorite dish spaghetti, which he is addicted to and refers to it as his girlfriend or wife, and would trade anything (including SMG4's Youtube account) for it. This addiction went so far that he actually stole spaghetti from other people and never shares it with anyone (except for Meggy). In fact the mere thought of losing Spaghetti will either drive him insane, make him cry in frustration, and even commit suicide. Mario's extreme laziness has made him a hater of socializing (though it was temporary) and exercising. He also refuses to help his friends, family, other people, or possibly even the whole world, even in life-or-world-threatening situations. He doesn't appear to be as brave as his Nintendo counterpart, sometimes trying to back down from fights.

Mario is also very disrespectful and disobedient. He constantly does things that other people tell him not to (such as touching the painting leading to the bootleg world in SM64: THE BOOTLEG DIMENSION) which causes problems for his friends and sometimes the world. According to a poster in Mario and the SECRET CLUB, He always eats all the food in the castle and never takes a bath when asked, further showing his disrespectful ways. He is also very short-tempered, capable of getting annoyed easily, and always lashes out at people (including his own brother Luigi) when he reaches his breaking point. Mario is also a sore loser, and can be very demanding and also spoiled.

His biggest flaw though is his IMMENSE stupidity and lack of common sense. He apparently did not know what was 1+1 (which caused him to become a borderline moron) or any number past 10 (aside from 1 million) until Baldi taught him math and had also forgotten how to type or how to count. This idiocy annoyed his friends (except for Meggy, who finds it hilarious), especially SMG4 and Toad, and they often mocked or berated him for his foolish decisions. As a result, he ruined the Grand Mario Hotel, bankrupted Nintendo by using its money to buy food, ruined Gabe Newell's life, created some of the gang's worst enemies, such as Enzo, and even drove people to the edge of insanity. Mario though refuses to admit being stupid and claimed to have an IQ of 200. On the contrary, he sometimes uses his to his advantage and there were moments where he was greatly intelligent and logical, the biggest example being in Stupid Mario Stupid Show, where he correctly theorized that SMG4 went insane to try and get millions of viewers. It is unknown how exactly dumb Mario is, and anytime it is explained, it is very absurd. According to his driver's license, his "how-retarded-meter" shows that he "broke" it. In Portal M4R10 - If Mario was in... Portal, GLaDOS, when analyzing him, stated his IQ was over negative (-), which is probably another joke (since if Mario was really that dumb, he would probably not know how to speak).

Underneath his laziness and retardation though, Mario does indeed care about his friends and family, seeing as how he time-traveled to prevent himself from accidentally killing his brother Luigi during a kart race, comforted Meggy when she first lost the Splatfest, and was in utter distress when both of them were turned into T-Pose Zombies during the Waluigi arc. During the Anime arc, he was extremely desperate to find and save Meggy when she was abducted by Mario's former Anime Cartel boss Francis to extract her ink. At the end of the arc, Mario reveals that he is self-aware that his life has spiraled out of control, but nonetheless, he still cares about his friends.

In Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Smart(ass) Mario and SMG4: Smart Mario, both of which had Mario becoming smart, he displayed a different personality. In the former, he unintentionally mistreats everyone in the castle due to him forgetting their identities, and even lost his love for spaghetti. In the latter, Mario uses his intelligence to help his friends with their problems. However, his spaghetti addiction stiil remained, and eventually began to hate his friends for treating him like junk for his former idiocy, which resulted in him trying to steal all the spaghetti in the world. At the end of the episode, he begged the others not to turn him into his old dumb self, believing he would lose any meaning to live.

Criminal Record
Mario has committed various crimes throughout the episodes, either accidentally, out of sheer stupidity, or for a good reason. His latest criminal record is being an Anime Cartel member. Not necessarily in chronological order.
 * Assault and Murder: Due to his short temper, Mario has assaulted and killed many people when they annoyed him, the most recent example being in SMG4: Mario Gets Stuck On An Island, where he assaulted and threw an airline pilot out of a plane for insulting him.
 * Torture: In Retarded64: We're going on a Luigi hunt, Mario tortured Luigi ruthlessly with a trash-talking parrot and a pole-dancing chicken due to the latter owing him money, but not paying it. He also forced his friends (except for Toad, who wasn’t his friend) to participate in Jackass stunts in SMG4: The Mario Channel - Mario's Jackass.
 * Animal Theft and Abuse: In SMG4: Mario Preschool, Mario stole animals from a farm to teach preschoolers about what sounds animals make. He even made a cow cry!
 * Accidental Bank Robbery: In Party Rock Prisoners, a drunk Mario accidentally stole money from the bank.
 * Using Confiscated Things and Hijacking: After spaghetti was banned from the Mushroom Kingdom in Spaghetti Law, Mario and SMG4 tried to bring it back by hijacking a truck filled with the dish.
 * Destroying Companies: While showing a Big Chungus how to make good video games in SMG4: Mario's Big Chungus Hunt, Mario proceeded to dismantle Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony, the three biggest video game companies, by killing Shigeru Miyamoto and Master Hand, shooting down Microsoft HQ, and slapping all of Sony's employees and security guards.
 * Public Nudity: Mario has stripped down in public many times. One such case was in Mario Simulator Interactive if the player chose to have him persuade the cop. (Probably not Canon)
 * Framing: Mario constantly frames people (mainly Luigi) for things that HE does just to save his own skin from a beatdown. An example was in a flashback to SMG4: Detective Mario & Pikachu, where he framed SMG4 for murder and made up a terrible excuse that he did it for winning a Super Smash Bros. match. He later used the same excuse at the end of the video when interrogated by Detective Pikachu as to why he stole Bowser's statue, causing the latter to throw him in lava and burn him alive in retribution.
 * Reckless Driving: Mario sometimes is very bad at driving, which leads to him accidentally causing chaos and killing people. The most recent example was in SMG4: Mario's Prison Escape, where he ran over and possibly killed a citizen with his kart.
 * Sexual Harassment: Mario sexually harassed everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom by touching their butts in The Mario Channel: MARIOBUSTERS. This aggravated SMG4 and many others to no end.
 * Unaware Rampaging: In SMG4: Super Challenge 64, Mario had a challenge where he had to walk backward for 24 hours. While he did the challenge though, he unknowingly destroyed everything in sight and endangered people, which led to the police assuming him insane and trying to arrest him. In the end, the ENTIRE military is called to kill him, and they end up nuking Mushroom City.
 * Kidnapping: In SMG4: The Mario Café, Mario stole Yoshi's daughter without a second thought.
 * Illegal Smuggling: In SMG4: Mario's Illegal Operation, Mario, along with Fishy Boopkins, became the newest member of the Anime Cartel, a criminal organization that smuggles anime into the Mushroom Kingdom after its banning.
 * Speeding and Resisting Arrest: In Mario Simulator Interactive, Mario can choose to ride a kart in order to catch up to Bowser, but ends up going so fast that a cop pulled him over and prepared to arrest him. The player then can choose to have him continue driving, but if he/she ends up making him stop, the cop will arrest him.
 * Threatening: On some occasions, Mario threatens to hurt people if they don't do what he says. The most infamous case was in Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Youtube Mario? where he threatened to murder SMG4's family if the latter did not give him a shout-out on YouTube. The most recent example was in SMG4: Mario Waits in Line For Some Spaghetti where he threatened to blow up the Slowpoke in charge of bank withdrawal if the latter did not give him his spaghetti (the Slowpoke initially refused to give it when Mario gave him a fake card).

Antagonistic Roles
Mario has done some villainous acts that affect one or more of the everybody, including SMG4, mostly due to his stupidity and sometimes his malicious desire. This is a list of bloopers where he plays an antagonistic role:
 * In "Retarded64: Mario for Hire.", Mario uncontrollably flying down the track, he accidentally hits a Guy who was warning Little Billy (Baby Mario) to not play in the street because it's dangerous, and swerves and hits the old lady anyway. Then he crashes into Bowser's car and pin the blame on Luigi. Later at night, Mario tries to hijack the car, but is caught by policeman. As he enter the mall, he humps the kart and later doesn't have any money to pay for the kart. Later that day, Mario sets up a stand that sells genuine princess-worn clothes and got caught by Peach Toadstool. Mario unclog his toilet using a Bob-omb, causing the bomb explodes, sending the trainer hurdling off the toilet. During his job at cafe, he humps Samus for some money, but got caught. Later when he work at the business, he stole Heavy Weapons Guy's sandwich and pins the blame on Luigi again. During jail time, he sold Toad to a carnival and got his money. At the end, Luigi pins the blame on Mario as a revenge.
 * In "SM64: Meet the Luigi", he mercilessly chasing Luigi for saying his name. During Mario's interview about Luigi, he proclaims Luigi's orientation is all there is to him. Mario is still unsympathetic towards Luigi, as the latter is being creepy a lot, as Mario might attest. Mario tries promoting Luigi's reliability only to get interrupted By Professor E. Gadd, who goes on blabbing about Luigi's nose getting stuck in the Poltergust. Mario whacks the Professor away.
 * In "R64: Revenge of Freddy's Spaghettria", Mario taking Luigi to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza with him as a sacrifice, against his will. Luigi wanted no part of this but Mario revealed that he completely chained up his door, preventing him from escaping, much to his dismay. When they are at the Spaghetteria, Mario gets a Bonnie Head and uses it to scare Luigi for no reason. When Springtrap tries to catch Mario and Luigi, Mario trips and Luigi leaves him behind, causing him to get caught by Springtrap. As Animatronic Mario, he tries to kill Luigi, but is stopped by him after he manages to break down the spaghetti.exe program that Purple Man programmed into him.
 * In "R64: The Spaghettipocalypse", Mario created bankruptcy of all the spaghetti factory in the Mushroom Kingdom since he did not pay at all prior to the blooper. One week later, Mario throws a temper tantrum after he ran out of Spaghetti because of the previous event and blame it on Luigi for what happened, which caused him to call the police to exterminate him. Later, Mario goes on a rampage throughout the Mushroom Kingdom until he got to Professor E. Gadd's lab to terrorize Toadsworth, Luigi, and E. Gadd. After he got hit by Toadsworth with his crowbar, he pour the bottle of magic stuff to spaghetti, causing the spaghetti to grow into a Flying Spaghetti Monster. When the monster started to attack the Mushroom Kingdom, he doesn't care if the monster attack the city and started to eating the spaghetti. When Luigi thinking about Mario ruling the world, Mario become a tyrant and summon more spaghetti. After Luigi landed on the monster, he gave Mario a Star to get him eat the monster rapidly, ending the disaster.
 * In "Retarded64: We're going on a Luigi hunt", Mario tries to hunt for Luigi after he ran over his "girlfriend" Spaghetti, so he decided to get revenge on him by taking away his money, even though Luigi don't have money yet. After Mario kidnap Luigi, he torture him by using Fowl-Mouthed Parrot and Dancing Chicken instead of killing him. However, SMG4 brought a new spaghetti for him to stop him from tormenting Luigi for no reason.
 * In "Retarded64: Mario The Waiter", Mario stole a food from Wario and pins the blame on Luigi, which causes Gabe Newell has Mario fill in for him. First, he was being rude to Frankie. Second, he put a fake cutout form of him and place it next to Big Smoke. Third, he destroyed the kitchen. Fourth, he serves Squidward to Toad and Toadette. Then finally, he serves Heavy Weapons Guy a vegan sandwich, which causing chaos in the restaurant. When he threatening Mario to bring the Spaghetti to SMG4, he ate the food and knock SMG4 over, causing Gabe to chase him. After the restaurant was destroyed, Gabe sent Mario and Luigi to the poster of his face.
 * In "SMG4: Super BACKWARDS Bros", Mario played a reversal role as Bowser and kidnapped Princess Bowser, whom played as Peach Toadstool, but his plan was foiled by Peach, whom she played as Mario, along with Toad, whom he played as Luigi.
 * In "SMG4: Mario's Fancy Dinner", Mario arrived at the restaurant and wanted to order some spaghetti, but Jeeves tried to get rid of him and Mario refused. This caused Jeeves to chase Mario until he spill the wine on Jeeves' waiter uniform. After he was appointed by Jeeves as his temporary replacement, Mario ruined the dinner between Donkey Kong and Pauline, but Jeeves does his best to save the date.
 * In "SMG4: Mario's Big Chungus Hunt", Mario hunt down the Big Chungus for stealing his Spaghetti. After he was confronted by the other Chunguses, Judge Chungus sentenced him by getting Grand Chungus to execute him. Meggy then saves Mario by betting him to let Mario made a game about Chunguses. Mario destroyed the Nintendo, Microsoft, and finally Sony HQ to make all of the Chungus game. At the end, he got fired after he helped all of the Chunguses for his crimes.
 * In "SMG4: Mario Gets Stuck On An Island", Mario was harassing the pilot of the Ryanair flight he was on that he was hungry, but the pilot did not care at all. Angry, the plumber proceeded to throw him out the cockpit window and walked away as the plane crashed, presumably killing all the passengers. At the end, Mario asked the pilot when was the next meal, but the pilot told him instead to shut up, and thus, Mario got angry and ended up repeating the loop by throwing away the pilot offscreen.

Powers and Abilities
Like his mainstream counterpart, Mario has a multitude of strengths and powers.

Strengths
Although Mario's abilities and physical ability, throughout SMG4's episodes, greatly vary and is inconsistent, this is a list of capabilities he has shown.
 * Superhuman strength: Mario has been strong enough to punch and throw people from several feet away - miles in the sky. This also includes striking people through doors, concrete walls, or other sorts of barriers or objects. He once used a single punch to break through a large window aligned with armored glass. He is able to casually lift & throw Bowser, who weighs over 1.428 tons. He also punched a pilot straight through the window and down to the ground in Super Happy Magical Fun Fun Island, and once even lifted King Bob-omb (calculated to weigh 30 tons). He can also rip out a control panel of train and even throw a weight-lift into the sky, taking out a commercial passenger-jet. After launching Fishy Boopkins in the sky, he ended up making a plane crash into E. Gadd's workshop.
 * Superhuman Speed: Mario was able to outrun many police cruisers in a high speed chase running backwards.
 * Superhuman Reflexes: There were many instances throughout the SMG4 series where he was able to dodge bullets. He once casually dodged shotgun rounds the instant they were inches away from landing on him.
 * Superhuman endurance: Over the years, Mario has survived nearly everything thrown at him, from falling from great heights, falling from orbit, gunfire, explosions (greatly ranging in magnitude), getting attacked by Bowser, getting crushed, physical blows from SMG4 (about as strong as him), to car & plane crashes, all barely fazed. On rare occasions, thanks to the humorous Laws of Cartoon Physics, he will lose his head and be totally fine in the next scene (Sometimes he is able to function normally without his head attached). Once survived being utterly whooped by a Super Saiyan 3 Steve and taking a direct hit from his Kamehameha.
 * Pyrokinesis: Much like his own games, he has shown the ability to manipulate fire.
 * Anaerobic Functioning: Mario is often seen in space or underwater without showing signs of needing oxygen. This trait is often shared with the older, retarded SMG4 characters. (While others including SMG4 himself, can't.)
 * Hand-to hand skill: Although most of the time he is depicted as a coward, there are times he has displayed his true skill has proven himself to be a master at unarmed combat. Over the years he has been in many battles, winning most of them. He has his own unique style, with very fast and powerful punches and kicks and tackles. One of the best examples of this is his final fight with SMG4 at the end of Mario Battle Royale.
 * Agility: Despite his weight and shape, he has a great acrobatic capability. He also can greatly apply this to combat, as he can be very skillful when it comes to rapid, high jumps, flips, and tackles. A good example of this was the time he fought Sans.
 * Giant size and strength: In Ssenmodnar 10, Mario used a Mega Mushroom to grow into Mega Mario, a power-up form who is bigger, stronger and tougher than the base Mario.
 * Below-Zero Temperature Tolerant: In SnowTrapped, in some clips, Mario is seen naked in the freezing cold a few times, without any adverse effects. He is also occasionally seen in space, which has a temperature of -454.81, dressed casually with no protective garments and still is not bothered by it.
 * Bilinguality: Mario is shown to be bilingual, speaking in fluent English and Italian (his mother tongue). His skill is displayed in SMG4: High School Mario, where he and Luigi were given a A+ grade by their Italian teacher.
 * Rapping Skills: In War of the Fat Italians 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, as well as Supah Star Rap Battles of Epicness, Mario has demonstrated great rapping skill.
 * H4ck1ng Sk1llz: Despite normally being unintelligent, Mario was shown to be perfectly capable of hacking into computers in MarioTube 2. However, he needed to break into YouTube™ Headquarters in order to do so.
 * Dancing Moves: Mario is known to be skilled at dancing as shown in Stupid Mario Party.
 * "Fat Powers": In SMG4: Mario And The T-Pose Virus, Mario could make himself even fatter at will. This made him even stronger, allowing him to break down doors and other furniture.
 * Nude Bomb: Mario was able to gather the nudes from not just himself into a Spirit Bomb type ball that was powerful enough to turn a pig to ashes. SMG4: Mario Gets Stuck On An Island.
 * "Capturing": Using Cappy, Mario can take control of other people, enemies or inanimate objects.
 * Drawing the Master Sword: Despite his negative traits and not proving his power, wisdom and courage, Mario in If Mario was in... Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time proved worthy of drawing the Master Sword from it's pedestal. This impressive feat however might be just attributed to his already absurd superhuman strength.

Weaknesses
Of course, Mario has weaknesses (though comparatively few compared with many characters):
 * Slow speed: Due to his high weight (at least 12,000 pounds which equals 7 tons), he is slow on his feet, as shown in 101 Ways for Mario to Die, The 1337 Police, and several other bloopers, though this isn't much of a flaw. However, he was recently shown to have superhuman speed.
 * Lack of common sense: Mario is one of the most stupid characters (if not the most stupid character) in the series, not even knowing what 1+1 is until Baldi taught him math. It is so far his biggest weakness, as it cost him quite a few battles, despite his strength. However, Mario sometimes does shows signs of intelligence in some episodes, with the biggest example being The Super Mario Stupid Show, which brings up the question if Mario pretends to be stupid and/or has an intelligent side.
 * Impulsiveness: Mario has a tendency to run into danger without a strategy. This caused him to lose several lives in SM64 Bloopers: Can Ganondorf come out to play?, get bombed several times by SMG3's Painting in SMG3's Gauntlet of Gloom, and almost got him turned into a T-Pose Zombie in Mario and the Waluigi Apocalypse. This is a character trait not unique to him in terms of combat impulsiveness: Luigi on occasions runs into combat extremely recklessly when forced out of fear, or Meggy, who often overestimates her capability, as it once got her turned into a T-Pose Zombie.
 * Numbness: Exclusive to Super Mario RUN RUN RUN!. This numbness causes him to not feel his legs. Worn off when he managed to reverse the spell Kamek used on him.
 * Poor Cooking: Mario has downright awful cooking skills, and whenever he turned an oven on, the oven would destroy the castle. In SMG4: Mario's Hell Kitchen, SMG4 didn't allow him to help because of it, and called him useless. Sometimes the occurance of him failing to use an oven or machines is attributed to bad luck
 * Lack of usage of Abilities: Despite Mario having insane abilities, like his ridiculous level of strength, he seems to never actually use it when circumstances require it, such as facing enemies/foes or getting out of a certain situation. This can be tied to his Lack of common sense.

God-like Abilities
Although Mario is often depicted as a normal human being, unlike higher-level entities such as Waluigi in his Rejection Form, Master Hand, Ztar, or even an actual God, the God of the Teletubby World, there are rare instances where he has displayed such capabilities that put him in the same level of ascendancy with them all: (The calculation of exact speed of a fan observation and should not be considered official)
 * God-Like Strength: In Super Challenge 64, once his path of backwards sprinting started, he could not be stopped. He rammed & destroyed oncoming vehicles, went straight through concrete walls, heavily destroying small buildings, and greatest of all, he trampled Son Goku from Dragon Ball and the Legend Himself Ultra Instinct Shaggy from the meme of the same name, all without taking little to no notice. He once defeated the Mario Head with a single jumping upwards fist strike, sending it into the clouds. (The Mario Head once destroyed the Earth by crashing into it.)
 * God-Like Speed: While in the state of Super Saiyan, Mario is able to fly at incomprehensible speeds. In R64: Mario Simulator, he was able to fly from the Earth to the Sun in ~3 seconds. This means he clocked in a speed of around 111,552,000,000 mph (30,986,667 mi/second), approximately 170 times the speed of light.
 * God-Like Endurance: Mario has displayed many traits of great physical endurance, but in rare instances, he endures things that would be absolutely impossible to survive without the aid of an invincibility star. In SMG4: Super Challenge 64 Mario is seemingly unbothered after The Mushroom Kingdom Army/National Guard detonates a nuclear weapon right on top of him. He didn't seem to take notice that he was hit by a nuke point-blank, neither the destruction of the city around him after it; he was too busy celebrating winning a bet made by Meggy (He was challenged to run backwards for a whole day). He has survived shots from miniguns, AK-47s, and .50 caliber sniper rifles with no visible injuries. he can survive massive falls and being lit on fire.
 * Super Saiyan Form: In R64: Mario Simulator, the simulator game based on him put him in one of the biggest state of rage he's ever been in. Similar to Steve's Super Saiyan 3 Form, all of Mario's abilities and physical strength are presumably enhanced to a far greater level.
 * Z Move: Italian ThunderFat: Mario is able to charge up his Z-Power, and deliver a ground smash powerful enough to leave the entire planet in ruins.

List of Jobs

 * Plumber
 * Waiter (Formerly)
 * Police Officer (Formerly)
 * Lawyer (Formerly)
 * Spaghetti delivery boy  (Formerly)
 * Tech support (Formerly)
 * Starbucks employee (Formerly)
 * Officer Employee (Formerly)
 * Nightguard (Formerly)
 * Drug dealer
 * YouTuber
 * Myth Buster
 * Power Ranger
 * Hotel Manager (Formerly)
 * Game Show Host
 * Actor
 * Boss of Nintendo (Formerly)
 * Mafia Boss
 * Salesman
 * Chef
 * Scam Artist (Formerly)
 * Manager (Formerly)
 * Anime Smuggler
 * Mail Man (Formerly)
 * Lifeguard (Formerly)
 * Bowser's Minion (Formerly)

Mario Facts from ṩṩἔᾗмὄḋᾗᾄʀ 5 (WAT O_O edition)
These "facts" are displayed between skits in ṩṩἔᾗмὄḋᾗᾄʀ 5, according to SMG4. Many are disputable.
 * 1) Mario eats around 640,000 bowls of spaghetti each hour.
 * 2) Mario had his first kiss with a blonde looking hobo.
 * 3) Mario hit puberty when he was 30. (If this is true, this could confirm his age)
 * 4) Mario can fly with his magical cap.
 * 5) Mario farted over 13456 times in the castle.
 * 6) Mario hasn't proved left or right handed, meaning he's probably ambidextrous.
 * 7) Mario makes 1 coin per pipe he blows up or destroys.
 * 8) Luigi is actually Mario's sister. (This is a lie)
 * 9) Mario is actually Chinese, but changed to Italian.
 * 10) Mario's last name is "The Plumber".
 * 11) Princess Peach is Mario WAAAAAAAAHHH?!?!
 * 12) Mario's favorite color is Boobies..
 * 13) Mario's birthday is at 13/31/1942 or sumthin'.
 * 14) Mario's middle name is "Sexy".
 * 15) Mario has children and their names are Toad. (This is a lie)
 * 16) Mario has no teeth (This is a lie).
 * 17) Mario's overalls were created from dirt.
 * 18) Mario was going to star in Justin Bieber's music video, but got kicked due to destroying everything.
 * 19) Mario has no fingers. (Probably another lie)
 * 20) Everyone's eyes are blue. (This only applies to characters who are re-colored Mario 64 characters.)
 * 21) Everyone stole Mario's moustache style.
 * 22) Bowser hates Mario because he made him drop his sandwich!
 * 23) Mario wears contact lenses and panties.
 * 24) Mario's nose originally was a genetic mutation.
 * 25) Mario rates this video 0/10

Trivia

 * Mario has appeared in almost every blooper, with notable exceptions being Guards N' Retards: The Vacation, The Butt Ninja, Pointy Things, BattleToads, The Wacky Wario Bros.: Waluigi Origins and SMG4: The Japan Trip.
 * Mario is one of the four characters to appear in the very first video by SMG4 (The Cake is a Lie). The others are Peach, Lakitu, and Toad.
 * Mario has been shown to occasionally eat food from the dumpster.
 * Mario behaved much less spoonily in SMG4's 2011 bloopers. He was however shown to be far more retarded back then since according to SMG4, he didn't know any number past 10.
 * Mario thinks that the elderly are useless. For instance, in Who let the Chomp out?, Mario asks Toadsworth if the latter is going to throw his walking stick at the Chain Chomp to defeat it.
 * Mario has a YouTube channel called TheAwesomeMario, which currently has over 212k subscribers. Prior to February 2018, it is currently inactive.
 * Mario likes to jump off of the castle roof.
 * When acting insane, Mario is able to fly without a Wing Cap.
 * Mario has had three heart attacks from eating spaghetti. He has also had a heart attack from eating hot dogs, requiring him to go to the hospital.
 * According to Bob-ombache, Mario was once abducted by Bob-omb Buddies but was regarded as a failed experiment and was dropped in front of Peach's Castle.
 * Mario is a border-line idiot at the Idiot Test.
 * Mario and Peach have had sex before. A few times, actually.
 * Mario (outside of the SMG4 universe) is classified as homo nintendonus. This is a fact that was revealed in 2014.
 * In Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Dreams, it is revealed Mario has a phobia of old people after his second dream.
 * The reason Luke Lerdwichagul made Mario a mentally retarded character like Homer Simpson from The Simpsons or Peter Griffin from Family Guy or a idiotic character like Tomo Takino from Azumanga Daioh was because he felt that using a "normal" or "heroic" personality would be boring. Incidentally, his author avatar has that personality.
 * Mario is a tiny bit transparent when the SM64 model is used, this can be found in Mario the Waiter after Luigi goes to cook Mario's burrito with spaghetti in it, with the Pyro from TF2 being slightly distinguishable.
 * Mario is confirmed to be heterosexual.
 * According to The (TOTALLY ACCURATE) documentary of Mario, Mario was apparently born in 1928. Though this might be a joke/oversight (since if Mario really was born at that time, he would be 91 years old), it might be a reference to how some fans theorize that Mario is older than how he looks like, or if he ages slower than normal human beings.
 * Mario seems to enjoy playing Dark Souls 3.
 * As revealed in SMG4: Mario Waits in Line For Some Spaghetti, Mario has a bank account for spaghetti.
 * As revealed in SMG4: Mario vs IT🤡, his worst fear is broccoli.

Mario