Guards N' Retards: The Butt Ninja/Transcript

This is a transcript of SuperMarioGlitchy4's video, Guards N' Retards: The Butt Ninja.

The Guards N' Retards series often uses both subtitles and voices at the same time. In the case of a discrepancy, the voice will be used in the transcript instead of the subtitles.

Transcript
(The video starts with Chris and Swagmaster69696969696 guarding a door.)

Chris: holy crap, i can't believe they re-assigned me here

Swag : WHAT THE FACK?!

where are all the sexy ass ladies they said in the commercial

Chris: you dumbass, you're working in a spaghetti factory

Swag: (camera spinning around) WHAAAAAAAT?

this is bullshit! i don't even know why i took this lameass job i could be banging weed throwing hippie parties and naked dancing with the president!

Swag: Penis penis penis penis penis! Chris: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

(cut to a factory worker playing Flappy Bird on his cell phone and losing)

Factory worker: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU...

Admiral Greg: (walks into room) what the hell is going on?

Factory worker (offscreen): SHUT UP, GRANDMA! (Greg leaves) DRINK YO PRUNE JUICE! (a Buzzy Beetle is thrown at the door)

(cut to Chris)

Chris: my name's chris

since we're working togther i think it might be neccess-

Swag (interrupting Chris): hey, can you take my pants off?

Chris: (backs away)' what the shit

Swag: lol jks chris

you can call me by my utubes name

swagmaster69696969-

Chris (interrupting): yeah okay, i get it

Offscreen voice: TIME FOR TELETUBBIES! TIME FOR TELETUBBIES!

Chris: OH CRAP, the boss is coming

get into position

Swag: why? what's so scary about the boss?

(Tubbie Wonka walks in)

Tubbie Wonka: ♫ La-la-lee-la! ♫

Swag: HOLY DICK NUGGETS

what the FACK IS THAT?!

Chris: swag, what are you?...

Swag: STAHP IN THE NAME OF OUR BELOVED GAWD

STAHP, YOU FATTY WAT

(Tubbie Wonka shoots Swag) ahhhhh, AHHHHHHHH! (falls to the ground)

Chris: lol

Tubbie Wonka: stop messing around and get to work!

Chris: YES SIR!

Swag: how much am i being paid for this shet

Tubbie Wonka: YOU GET, ''NOTHING! (leaves)''

Swag: what a butthole

(going into the bathroom) i need to take a pee pee

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA

(Swag opens a stall only to find Morgan Freeman in front of the toilet)

Morgan Freeman: everyone poops.

as read by morgan freeman

and frankly, i just don't give a shit

(Morgan explodes)