Mario

Mario Mario is an Italian plumber originally from Nintendo's Mario franchise. As most of SuperMarioGlitchy4's bloopers make heavy use of Super Mario 64 and its characters, Mario is the main protagonist in the SMG4verse and appears in most of SuperMarioGlitchy4's. He is also known as the older brother of Luigi. According to The Grand Mario Hotel, he is known as Stupid Mario (or as he calls himself Mario Sexy The Plumber) and comes from Earth-8052011.

The Mario that the show focuses on is often portrayed as the dumb guy of the show, and a morbidly obese spaghetti addict. While he seems to think he is popular and has lots of swag (which is true as he has a fan club), Mario is in reality an attention-hogging, possibly gay and pedophilic streaker who has been arrested several times. In addition, Mario has been depicted as a pervert, zoophile, prostitute, drug addict, and drunkard.

Because most of the aforementioned traits are played for comedy, Mario is the protagonist of many bloopers. While he can act somewhat bipolar, and is usually enraged by the slightest things, Mario is often cheerful to the point of annoyance.

Biography
Mario's origin in Earth-8052011 is a complete and occasional mystery. According to how mario was born, Mario was born out of a cosmic event and crashed in Nintendo's headquarters. While on a playground, he reproduced by budding and gave birth to Luigi (which would make him Luigi's birthparent). After taking refuge in a dumpster, SMG4 found the two brothers and offered them jobs. Mario however, debunked this story.

In The (TOTALLY ACCURATE) Documentary of Mario, his origin was retconned, and it was revealed that he was born in 1928 (though this might be a joke since if Mario was born at that time, he would be 91 years old today). However, his unknown father was apparently disgusted at Mario's appearance and tried to kill him with a combat knife to "prevent him from laying eggs." This incident was accidentally photographed by either his mother or a doctor for his celebration card, where he was mistaken for a girl. Instead of being happy though, his parents abandoned him on an alley (it was possible that it was the father's idea and the mother was relunctant) and sped off, accidentally crashing and dying. 2 years later, Mario was found and taken to an orphanage where he met Luigi and formed a bond with him. (though Mario would occasionally mistreat him)

When Mario and Luigi attended high school, Mario wasn't much of a great student, but was nevertheless popular at the time. He however had a tendency to dance in the shower. It was also here where his spaghetti addiction started. At some point, he started taking drugs. These led to horrible consequences, and Mario started acting completely insane and weird, such as trashing an office and speaking in German despite being Italian, spooking his classmates on a pool, dancing on the roof, and finally burning the school down to the ground, much to the principal's frustration. As a result, Mario's reputation hit rock bottom, and it would 2 to 3 years before he recovered.

Afterwards, Mario and Luigi searched for a job and joined The Plumber Academy for Idiots, and though he did not graduate, he still got the job. Some years later, he was called by Princess Peach Toadstool to help clean up her castle. There he met Bowser for the first time, and traumatized the Koopa King by making him drop his sandwich. Ever since then, Mario visited the castle more often. At some point, he also became Nintendo's mascot, but due to rumors about him taking drugs again, he was fired, but retained his mascot status.

Appearance
Mario wears a long-sleeved red shirt, blue overalls with yellow buttons, brown shoes, and with gloves. He has a red cap, brown hair, a black mustache and blue eyes. He is shorter than his younger brother Luigi.

Personality
In Nintendo canon, Mario is a friendly plumber who helps anyone in need, devotes most of his time to rescuing the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, and participates in sports matches, kart races and "parties" often.

In SMG4's bloopers, Mario looks the same, being brave, cheerful, and good-natured. However, unlike his game counterpart, he is arrogant, lazy, ignorant, gluttonous, unintelligent, and much more of a moron who cares mostly about himself and his favorite dish, spaghetti. In fact, he's so addicted to the food that he steals it from other people, never shares it with anyone (Meggy was an exception in Meggy's Bootcamp), refers to it either as his girlfriend or wife and humps it. Additionally, the mere thought of losing spaghetti causes him to either cry in frustration, go insane, or commit suicide (Although this is used for comedic effect, as opposed to when he loses something/someone he actually cares about, including the time he lost Luigi (beta) in SMG4: AREA 64, and the time he was in utter distress when Luigi and Meggy became T-Pose Zombies). His laziness makes him an antisocial person and he really hates exercising. Mario also refuses to help out his friends often, even in life-threatening situations and is either forced or persuaded with spaghetti into helping. Despite this, he cares deeply for his friends and family.

Two of his most defining traits is his intellectual disability and lack of common sense, which makes the lives of his friends and every other person he meets miserable without Mario himself realizing it. Only a few of his friends understand him and accept his stupidity, whereas everyone else hates and despises him for it. According to SMG4, Mario did not know what 1+1 was and didn't know any number past 10 (aside from 1 million), and he makes idiot plans which often somehow work out of sheer dumb luck. His lack of common sense and impulsiveness often cause trouble for him and his friends.

As the series progresses, Mario gets more and more retarded, to the point where he forgot how to type or how to count. As a result of this idiocy, he unintentionally ruined the Great Mario Hotel, bankrupted his home company Nintendo by using their money to buy food and was responsible for creating the gang's worst enemies, such as ruining Enzo's birthday and causing the latter to go insane with rage. He, however, openly refuses to admit his mental handicap and claims to have an IQ of 200. On the contrary, he also sometimes is smart enough to use his stupidity to his own advantage, and there were rare moments where he acted with great intelligence such as in SMG4: The Super Mario Stupid Show.

Mario also has a short temper, which landed him in conflict with many characters. His temper is so short that he often lashes out at people (including his own brother Luigi) when they annoy him, tries to get revenge (an example was when a Big Chungus ate his spaghetti) and beat the living crap out of them. He is also a sore loser and gets furious when losing in something, such as SMG4: Mario The Ultimate Gamer. He, however, refuses to give up, no matter how bad the situation is.

Criminal Record
Mario has committed various crimes throughout the episodes, either accidentally, out of sheer stupidity, or for a good reason. His latest criminal record is being a Anime Cartel member. Not necessarily in chronological order.
 * Assault and Murder: Due to his short temper, Mario has assaulted and killed many people when they annoyed him, the most recent example being in SMG4: Mario Gets Stuck On An Island, where he assaulted and threw a airline pilot out of a plane for insulting him.
 * Torture: In Retarded64: We're going on a Luigi hunt, Mario tortured Luigi ruthlessly with a trash-talking parrot and a pole-dancing chicken due to the latter owing him money, but not paying it. He also forced his friends (except for Toad, who wasn’t his friend) to participate in Jackass stunts.
 * Animal Theft and Abuse: In SMG4: Mario Preschool, Mario stole animals from a farm to teach preschoolers about what sound animals make. He even made a cow cry.
 * Accidental Bank Robbery: In Party Rock Prisoners, a drunk Mario accidentally stole money from the bank.
 * Using Confiscated Things and Hijacking: After spaghetti was banned from the Mushroom Kingdom in Spaghetti Law, Mario and SMG4 tried to bring it back by hijacking a truck filled with the dish.
 * Destroying Companies: While showing a Big Chungus how to make good video games in SMG4: Mario's Big Chungus Hunt, Mario proceeded to dismantle Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony, the three biggest video game companies, by killing Shigeru Miyamoto and Master Hand, shooting down Microsoft HQ, and slapping all of Sony's employees and security guards.
 * Public Nudity: Mario has stripped down in public many times. One such case was in Mario Simulator Interactive if the player chose to have him persuade the cop. (Probably not Canon)
 * Framing: Mario constantly frames people (mainly Luigi) for things that HE does just to save his own skin from a beatdown. An example was in a flashback to SMG4: Detective Mario & Pikachu, where he framed SMG4 for murder, and made up a terrible excuse that he did it for winning a Super Smash Bros. match. He later used the same excuse at the end of the video when interrogated by Detective Pikachu as to why he stole Bowser's statue, causing the latter to throw him in lava and burn him alive in retribution.
 * Reckless Driving: Mario sometimes is very bad at driving, which leads to him accidentally causing chaos and killing people. The most recent example was in SMG4: Mario's Prison Escape, where he ran over and possibly killed a citizen with his kart.
 * Sexual Harassment: Mario sexually harassed everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom by touching their butts. This aggravated SMG4 and many others to no end.
 * Unaware Rampaging: In SMG4: Super Challenge 64, Mario had a challenge where he had to walk backwards for 24 hours. While he did the challenge though, he unknowingly destroyed everything in sight and endangered people, which led to the police assuming him insane and trying to arrest him. In the end, the ENTIRE military is called to kill him, and they end up nuking Mushroom City.
 * Kidnapping: In SMG4: The Mario Café, Mario stole Yoshi's daughter without a second thought.
 * Illegal Smuggling: In SMG4: Mario's Illegal Operation, Mario, along with Fishy Boopkins, became the newest member of the Anime Cartel, a criminal organization which smuggles anime into the Mushroom Kingdom after its banning.
 * Speeding and Resisting Arrest: In Mario Simulator Interactive, Mario can choose to ride a kart in order to catch up to Bowser, but ends up going so fast that a cop pulled him over and prepared to arrest him. The player then can choose to have him continue driving, but if he/she ends up making him stop, the cop will arrest him.
 * Threatening: On some occasions, Mario threatens to hurt people if they don't do what he says. The most infamous case was in Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Youtube Mario?, where he threatened to murder SMG4's family if the latter did not give him a shout-out on YouTube.

Powers and Abilities
Like his mainstream counterpart, Mario has a multitude of strengths and powers.

Strengths
Although Mario's abilities and physical ability, throughout SMG4's episodes, greatly vary and is inconsistent, this is a list of capabilities he has shown.
 * Superhuman strength: Mario has been strong enough to punch and throw people from several feet away - miles in the sky. This also includes striking people through doors, concrete walls, or other sorts of barriers or objects. He once used a single punch to break through a large window aligned with reinforced glass. He is able to casually lift & throw Bowser, who weighs over 1.428 tons. He also punched a pilot straight through the window and down to the ground in Super Happy Magical Fun Fun Island, and once even lifted King Bob-omb (calculated to weigh 30 tons). He can also rip out a control panel of train and even throw a weight-lift into the sky, taking out a commercial passenger-jet. After launching Fishy Boopkins in the sky, he ended up making a plane crash into E. Gadd's workshop.
 * Superhuman Speed: Mario was able to outrun many police cruisers in a high speed chase running backwards.
 * Superhuman Reflexes: There are many times he was fast enough to dodge bullets,and he once casually dodged incoming shotgun rounds right before they landed on him.
 * Superhuman endurance: Thanks to the humorous laws of cartoon physics, Mario has survived nearly everything thrown at him, from falling from great heights, falling from orbit, gunfire, explosions (greatly ranging in magnitude), getting attacked by Bowser, getting crushed, physical blows from SMG4 (about as strong as him), to car & plane crashes, all barely fazed. On rare occasions he will lose his head and be fine in the next scene (Sometimes he even is able to function normally without a head). Once survived being utterly whooped by a Super Saiyan 3 Steve and taking a direct hit from his Kamehameha.
 * Pyrokinesis: Much like his own games, he has shown the ability to manipulate fire.
 * Anaerobic Functioning: Mario is often seen in space or underwater without showing signs of needing oxygen. This trait is often shared with the older, retarded SMG4 characters. (While others including SMG4 himself, can't.)
 * Hand-to hand skill: Although most of the time he is depicted as a coward, there are times he has displayed his true skill has proven himself to be a master at unarmed combat. Over the years he has been in many battles, winning most of them. He has his own unique style, with very fast and powerful punches and kicks and tackles. One of the best examples of this is his final fight with SMG4 at the end of Mario Battle Royale.
 * Agility: Despite his weight and shape, he has a great acrobatic capability. He also can greatly apply this to combat, as he can be very skillful when it comes to rapid, high jumps, flips, and tackles. A good example of this was the time he fought Sans.
 * Giant size and strength: In Ssenmodnar 10, Mario used a Mega Mushroom to grow into Mega Mario, a power-up form who is bigger, stronger and tougher than the base Mario.
 * Below-Zero Temperature Tolerant: In SnowTrapped, in some clips, Mario is seen naked in the freezing cold a few times, without any adverse effects. He is also occasionally seen in space, which has a temperature of -454.81, dressed casually with no protective garments and still is not bothered by it.
 * Rapping Skills: In War of the Fat Italians 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, as well as Supah Star Rap Battles of Epicness, Mario has demonstrated great rapping skill.
 * H4ck1ng Sk1llz: Despite normally being unintelligent, Mario was shown to be perfectly capable of hacking into computers in MarioTube 2. However, he needed to break into YouTube™ Headquarters in order to do so.
 * Dancing Moves: Mario is known to be skilled at dancing as shown in Stupid Mario Party.
 * "Fat Powers": In SMG4: Mario And The T-Pose Virus, Mario could make himself even fatter at will. This made him even stronger, allowing him to break down doors and other furniture.
 * Nude Bomb: Mario was able to gather the nudes from not just himself into a Spirit Bomb type ball that was powerful enough to turn a pig to ashes. SMG4: Mario Gets Stuck On An Island.
 * "Capturing": Using Cappy, Mario can take control of other people, enemies or inanimate objects.

Weaknesses
Of course, Mario has weaknesses (though comparatively few compared with many characters):
 * Slow speed: Due to his high weight (at least 12,000 pounds which equals 7 tons), he is slow on his feet, as shown in 101 Ways for Mario to Die, The 1337 Police, and several other bloopers, though this isn't much of a flaw. However, he was recently shown to have superhuman speed.
 * Lack of common sense: Mario is one of the most stupid characters (if not the most stupid character) in the series, not even knowing what 1+1 is until Baldi taught him math. It is so far his biggest weakness, as it cost him quite a few battles, despite his strength. However, Mario sometimes does shows signs of intelligence in some episodes, with the biggest example being The Super Mario Stupid Show, which brings up the question if Mario pretends to be stupid and/or has an intelligent side.
 * Impulsiveness: Mario has a tendency to run into danger without a strategy. This caused him to lose several lives in SM64 Bloopers: Can Ganondorf come out to play?, get bombed several times by SMG3's Painting in SMG3's Gauntlet of Gloom, and almost got him turned into a T-Pose Zombie in Mario and the Waluigi Apocalypse. This is a character trait not unique to him in terms of combat impulsiveness: Luigi on occasions runs into combat extremely recklessly when forced out of fear, or Meggy, who often overestimates her capability, as it once got her turned into a T-Pose Zombie.
 * Numbness: Exclusive to Super Mario RUN RUN RUN!. This numbness causes him to not feel his legs. Worn off when he managed to reverse the spell Kamek used on him.
 * Poor Cooking: Mario has downright awful cooking skills, and whenever he turned an oven on, the oven would destroy the castle. In SMG4: Mario's Hell Kitchen, SMG4 didn't allow him to help because of it, and called him useless.

God-like Abilities
Although Mario is merely a mortal and is not seemingly a god such as Waluigi in his Rejection Form, Master Hand, Ztar, or even an actual God, the God of the Teletubby World, there are rare instances where he has displayed such capabilities that put him on par with them all:
 * God-Like Strength: In Super Challenge 64, once his path of backwards sprinting started, he could not be stopped. He rammed & destroyed oncoming vehicles, went straight through concrete walls, heavily destroying small buildings, and GREATEST of all, he trampled Son Goku from Dragon Ball and the Legend Himself Ultra Instinct Shaggy from the meme of the same name, all without taking little to no notice. He once defeated the Mario Head with a single jumping upwards fist strike, sending it into the clouds. (The Mario Head once destroyed the Earth by crashing into it.)
 * God-Like Speed: While in the state of Super Saiyan, Mario is able to fly at incomprehensible speeds. In R64: Mario Simulator, he was able to fly from the Earth to the Sun in ~3 seconds. This means he clocked in a speed of around 111,552,000,000 mph (or 30,986,667 miles a second!), which is approximately 170 times the speed of light. (See Super Saiyan Form)
 * God-Like Endurance: Mario has displayed many traits of great physical endurance, but in rare instances, he is seemingly nothing but completely invincible without the aid of an invincibility star. In SMG4: Super Challenge 64 Mario is seemingly unbothered after The Mushroom Kingdom Army/National Guard detonates a nuclear weapon right on top of him. He didn't seem to take notice that he was hit by a nuke point-blank, neither the destruction of the city around him after it; He was too distracted about celebrating the fact that he had won a bet made by Meggy, which was to run backwards for a whole day.
 * Super Saiyan Form: In R64: Mario Simulator, the simulator game based on his life put him in probably the biggest state of rage we've ever seen him in. Similar to Steve's Super Saiyan 3 Form, all of Mario's abilities and physical strength are presumably enhanced to a far greater level.
 * Z Move: Italian ThunderFat: Mario is able to charge up his Z-Power, and deliver a ground smash powerful enough to leave the entire planet in ruins.

List of Jobs

 * Plumber
 * Waiter (Formerly)
 * Police Officer (Formerly)
 * Lawyer (Formerly)
 * Spaghetti delivery boy  (Formerly)
 * Tech support (Formerly)
 * Starbucks employee (Formerly)
 * Officer Employee (Formerly)
 * Nightguard (Formerly)
 * Drug dealer
 * YouTuber
 * Myth Buster
 * Power Ranger
 * Hotel Manager (Formerly)
 * Game Show Host
 * Actor
 * Boss of Nintendo (Formerly)
 * Mafia Boss
 * Salesman
 * Chief
 * Scam Artist (Formerly)
 * Manager (Formerly)
 * Anime Smuggler

Mushroom wars: that space series?
In this parody, Mario plays the role of Luke Skywalker, called Mario Gaywalker. In this parody, he is depicted as being poor and living in a farm, and at the start of the video, he is seen trying to get money. Unlike the actual Skywalker, he has no aunt and uncle.

After failing to get money, Skywalker sees R2-D2 and C-3PO (played by Luigi and called L3GI) crashing their escape pod in front of his farm. The damaged R2 then displays a message sent from Princess Leia Organa (played by Peach) about being trapped in the Death Star, but Skywalker becomes too distracted with her breasts to listen, much to her frustration. The next day, Skywalker and Threepio discover R2 is missing and while trying to find him, end up in a scuffle with Teletubbies when Skywalker found R2 being harassed by them and tried to save him. They are saved by Obi-Wan Kenobi (played by SMG4 and called Hobo-Wan Kenobo), who attempts to train Skywalker in being a Jedi, but fails.

After meeting with their pilots Han Solo (played by Waluigi) and Chewbacca (played by Bowser), they board their ship and go to the Death Star to save Organa. While Solo and Chewie try to save Organa (who later gets thrown out into the vaccum of space by Threepio as revenge for being ignored), Skywalker and Kenobi try to defeat Darth Vader (played by Toad). Upon Vader's escape, he activates the Death Star's self destruct mechanism to get the gang killed. While trying to deactivate the forcefields blocking their escape, Skywalker is ambushed by Vader, who tries to persuade him to the dark side of the force, as well as revealing he is Skywalker's only parent. Using the force, Skywalker manages to kill Vader and deactivate the forcefields, flying off with the gang as the station explodes.

Mario Facts from ṩṩἔᾗмὄḋᾗᾄʀ 5 (WAT O_O edition)
These "facts" are displayed between skits in ṩṩἔᾗмὄḋᾗᾄʀ 5, according to SMG4. Many are disputable.
 * 1) Mario eats around 640,000 bowls of spaghetti each hour.
 * 2) Mario had his first kiss with a blonde looking hobo.
 * 3) Mario hit puberty when he was 30. (If this is true, this could confirm his age)
 * 4) Mario can fly with his magical cap.
 * 5) Mario farted over 13456 times in the castle.
 * 6) Mario hasn't proved left or right handed, meaning he's probably ambidextrous.
 * 7) Mario makes 1 coin per pipe he blows up or destroys.
 * 8) Luigi is actually Mario's sister. (This is a lie)
 * 9) Mario is actually Chinese, but changed to Italian.
 * 10) Mario's last name is "The Plumber".
 * 11) Princess Peach is Mario WAAAAAAAAHHH?!?!
 * 12) Mario's favorite color is Boobies..
 * 13) Mario's birthday is at 13/31/1942 or sumthin'.
 * 14) Mario's middle name is "Sexy".
 * 15) Mario has children and their names are Toad. (This is a lie)
 * 16) Mario has no teeth (This is a lie).
 * 17) Mario's overalls were created from dirt.
 * 18) Mario was going to star in Justin Bieber's music video, but got kicked due to destroying everything.
 * 19) Mario has no fingers. (Probably another lie)
 * 20) Everyone's eyes are blue. (This only applies to characters who are re-colored Mario 64 characters.)
 * 21) Everyone stole Mario's mustache style.
 * 22) Bowser hates Mario because he made him drop his sandwich!
 * 23) Mario wears contact lenses and panties.
 * 24) Mario's nose originally was a genetic mutation.
 * 25) Mario rates this video 0/10

Pokémans

 * Main article: Mario's Pokemans

Trivia

 * Mario has appeared in almost every blooper, with notable exceptions being Guards N' Retards: The Vacation, The Butt Ninja, Pointy Things, BattleToads, The Wacky Wario Bros.: Waluigi Origins and SMG4: The Japan Trip.
 * Mario is one of the four characters to appear in the very first video by SMG4 (The Cake is a Lie). The others are Peach, Lakitu, and Toad.
 * Mario has been shown to occasionally eat food from the dumpster.
 * Mario behaved much less spoonily in SMG4's 2011 bloopers. He was however shown to be far more retarded back then since according to SMG4, he didn't know any number past 10.
 * Mario thinks that the elderly are useless. For instance, in Who let the Chomp out?, Mario asks Toadsworth if the latter is going to throw his walking stick at the Chain Chomp to defeat it.
 * Mario has a YouTube channel called TheAwesomeMario, which currently has over 212k subscribers.
 * Mario likes to jump off of the castle roof.
 * When acting insane, Mario is able to fly without a Wing Cap.
 * Mario has had three heart attacks from eating spaghetti. He has also had a heart attack from eating hot dogs, requiring him to go to the hospital.
 * According to Bob-ombache, Mario was once abducted by Bob-omb Buddies but was regarded as a failed experiment and was dropped in front of Peach's Castle.
 * Mario is a border-line idiot at the Idiot Test.
 * Mario and Peach have had sex before. A few times, actually.
 * Mario (outside of the SMG4 universe) is classified as homo nintendonus. This is a fact that was revealed in 2014.
 * In Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Dreams, it is revealed Mario has a phobia of old people after his 2nd dream.
 * The reason Luke Lerdwichagul made Mario a mentally retarded character like Homer Simpson from The Simpsons or Peter Griffin from Family Guy was because he felt that using a "normal" or "heroic" personality would be boring. Incidentally, his author avatar has that personality.
 * Mario is a tiny bit transparent when the SM64 model is used, this can be found in Mario the Waiter after Luigi goes to cook Mario's burrito with spaghetti in it, with the Pyro from TF2 being slightly distinguishable.
 * Mario is confirmed to be heterosexual.
 * According to The (TOTALLY ACCURATE) documentary of Mario, Mario was apparently born in 1928. Though this might be a joke/oversight (since if Mario really was born at that time, he would be 91 years old), it might be a reference to how some fans theorize that Mario is older than how he looks like, or if he ages slower than normal human beings.