SM64 Christmas 2015 - Christmas Crazies/Transcript

This is a transcript for SM64 Christmas 2015 - Christmas Crazies.

Script
(Video begins with the 2015 SMG4 Christmas intro, as SMG4 makes an appearance, but gets crushed by the SMG4 Productions logo. Waluigi then appears out of nowhere)

SMG4: Ahahow!

Waluigi: Waluigi!

(It then cuts to an Airport)

Mario: YEAH! CHRISTMAS VACATION! HA HA HA! Hey Luigi! Favorite time of the year! Try not to get your ass stuck in the ice again Luigi:D

Luigi: Shut up before I stab you!

SMG4: Hehe...err,Toad! Are you ready to go on this fun vacation?!

Toad: Yeah b*tch! How do think I feel?

Airport staff: Alright. Next!

Peach: Okay! We're headed to Isle Delfino!

Airport staff: Alright let's see-...hey! Something is jamming the suitcase conveyor belt!

(Luigi is on the conveyor belt singing "Jingle Bells". Mario joins in as well)

Police: Stop right there!

(Luigi gets off the conveyor belt, but Mario got beaten up by the cops)

Toad: Wait! Don't leave me out of this! Yeah!:D

(Toad joins in the fight)

Goomba: Ok ladies and gentlemen! Please give me your luggage for the plane!

Mario: Ohhhhhh... Hoooold on! Let the disabled Italian go first!

Peach: Uhhh Mario...No! I don't think your stuff will fit...

Mario: No! Mama mia! It'sa fine!:D Here we go! Let's a go!

Goomba: Sweet merciful....

(All of Mario's spaghetti falls on top of the Goomba)

Lakitu: Princess Peach! This is Mushroom Kingdom News! Please talk about your trip!

Peach: Yay for me....

(Mario suddenly gets in the way by sending Peach flying to one side)

Mario: Oh boy, well when Mario gets there Im'a eat a big bowl of spaghetti....

(Villager is watching the news. So is someone else.... A wanted poster of Enzo is previewed. Scene then cuts to the aeroplane in which Mario and company is in it. Mario is eating spaghetti and Toad is reading a magazine)

SMG4: Hey uhh... where's Luigi?

Mario: Oh! Oh yeah! Hoohoo! We would save money if we had a child with us...

(Old man takes care of Luigi. Lots of baby stuff are everywhere)

Old man: Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?

Mario: Mama mia! I need'a more spaghetti!! Hey! Flight attendant!

Flight attendant: Yeeeeesssss?

Mario: Say, Im'a hungry! Have you got any food?

(The fake flight attendant brought out a knife)

Flight attendant: Yeeeeees!

SMG4: Mario watch out!

(Drags him away from Enzo)

Enzo: I'm baaaaack...Remember me?

Mario: Hmmmmm.... Uh... crazy fan that wants Mario's butt?

Captain: This is your captain. We're experiencing some turbulence. As of this time I'm going to ask that you...

(Villager is the captain of this plane)

Villager: Die, b***ch!

(The plane starts falling down very swiftly. Mario is the only one who is enjoying this while the others are freaking out)

Mario: Wheeeeee!

Enzo: I will kill you guuuuys!

(Luigi and his seat crashes into Enzo.)

Luigi: Waaahhhh!

(The plane crashes into a snowy wonderland with mountains)

Toad: Haha! Ok done! What did I miss?

Peach: No oh...

Luigi: (Scared) Ohohoho!

Enzo: I will get you for ruining my birthdaaay!

(Villager pops out from nowhere)

Villager: I don't think so!

Enzo: Hey! These are my victims! Go away!

Villager: Oh hell no!

(They start attacking each other)

Mario: Mama mia! Ahh, young love. Let's leave. Let'sa go!

(Bowser makes an appearance in his clown car laughing evilly.)

Bowser: I will find Santa Claus! He's gonna hand over my presents!!!

SMG4:(Confused) Hey...What the heck is that sound?

Peach: Oh yeah! Guys look! I see a building up ahead!

(The room is filled with presents and there is a robot elf jumping forwards. Santa Claus enters the room singing Jingle Bells until Mario slams the door on him)

Mario: Hello? Hmmm... Where is everybody?

(Santa falls on the ground near Luigi)

Luigi(Scared) Waaaaahh!

Santa: My sack! My sweet, sweet sack!

Mario:(Surprised) SANTAAA!!!

(After staring at him for a few seconds, Mario then loses his temper at Santa)

Mario: WHERE'S MY SUPER AWESOME SPAGHETTI TEA PARTY PRESENT YOU BASTARD!! YOU SON OF A B*TCH!!!

SMG4: Mario, why do you think you get coal every year?

(Santa leads them into the main room of his workshop)

Santa: What are you jolly Christmasteers doing in Santa's workshop?

Mario: Im'a hungry!

Luigi: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

Toad: I was raped!

Santa: O-okay then. Well, if you fellas excuse me, Christmas is close...

(He is interrupted by Villager & Enzo breaking in Santa's workshop and still beating each other up)

Santa: That is enough! Alakaboobie!

(Sprinkles magic on the two killers which make them more happier and more nicer)

Villager&Enzo: Yaaaaaaaaay!

(The others jump back in horror with SMG4 & Mario being the only exceptions)

Mario: Gaaaaaayyyy!

Santa: They're not gay. I gave the magic of Christmas Spirit!

Mario: Gaaaaaayyyy!

Santa: Christmas Spirit makes anyone happy, like that fellow over there.

(He's talking to Waluigi sitting on a chair)

Waluigi: Wa!

Santa: Oh! Now I'm behind on schedule! Who wants to help Santa get ready for Christmas?)

Everyone except Mario: Yaaaaayyyy!

Mario: No!

Enzo: I like turtles!

(Everyone took a present to the sleigh. Enzo takes a red and golden striped present, Luigi takes a brown teddy bear with a grey jumper, but Mario takes a Bob-omb. Santa chases after him. SMG4 is seen putting a teddy and a wind-up toy box, Toad is seen putting weed in the presents, and Mario is coping his name 4 times in Santa's good list. He suddenly gets caught by Waluigi.

Waluigi: Heh!

Mario: Oh sh*t!

(Mario is then thrown in the fire)

Santa: These are my elf robots, a lot easier than stupid humans. It'll do whatever you want.

Luigi: Oh yeah! Kiss me!

(He gets pushed by the elf robot right into the tables)

Elf robot: Oh, right in the kitchen! Heh heh heh!

(Santa smacks his face in disgrace. The scene then cuts to Bowser who is still in his clown car.

Bowser: *huff*... gotta...find...Santa....get...presents...(pants) I don't think...I can....

(He suddenly spots the workshop)

Bowser: Hehe... it's Bowser time. YOLO!

(As Bowser charges towards the workshop, he turns into a fireball at the same time. Meanwhile, back in the workshop)

Santa: Ha ha ha! Thank you everyone. It's been a great pleasure working with you.

Mario: Ha ha! Since we helped, we get to go on the nice list right?

Santa: You're still getting coal Mario.

(Mario ducks his head, swearing)

Mario: Mama f*cker!

Santa: But now I must go and deliver my presents to people all...

(Bowser interrupts Santa by breaking through Santa's workshop)

Bowser: All right! Where are mah presents!?

(Everyone freaks out, with Peach fainting, Toad jumping back twice, SMG4 and Mario jumping back once and Luigi exploding, leaving a coin behind)

Bowser: ...Why you guys staring at me like that?...

(Santa is crushed by Bowser's clown cart)

Heavy(even though he is not in this blooper): You are dead!

Bowser: Oh sh*t....

(Luigi freaks out again)

Luigi: Waaaaahhhh! Help! Help! Help!

(The Christmas Spirit levels for Villager & Enzo have gone down from "YEAHHH CHRISTMAS" to "GRINCH"

SMG4: Oh crap! Santa's magic is wearing off!

(The two killers pulled out their weapons. Everyone freaks out and decided to split ways, with Mario, Peach and Bowser running away from Villager and SMG4, Luigi and Toad running away from Enzo. Team SMG4 went into a room with Luigi blocking the entrance with lots of elf robots and Team Mario went into a similar room with Bowser blocking the entrance with his butt)

Bowser: Ah crap! No! I'M STUCK!

(Enzo tries to punch the elf robots with his bare fists, while Villager tries to slice Bowser's bottom off)

Bowser: Hey! Stop that back there! It tickles!

(In Team SMG4's hiding place)

Luigi: Oh god! What are we going to do?!!!! Help!

SMG4: Books on...making toys...wrapping presents... ELF LOVE? Man, where's the books to avoid psychotic killers!

Toad: Ha ha ha ha! Well guys, looks like we're gonna be stuck here FOREVA!!

(SMG4 suddenly stares at Toad)

Toad:...what?

(SMG4 threw Toad at the window, destroying it)

SMG4: Go Toad! Go! Get help! Go you midgit!!!

Luigi: Oh yeah!

Toad: Yeahhhhhhh!

(Toad jumps off somewhere. SMG4 and Luigi watched him through the broken window.

SMG4: Yeah! Yeeeaaaahhh!

Luigi: Ooh yeah! Ooh yeah!

Toad: Yeeeeaaaahhhhh!

(Toad's suddenly taken away by a bird)

Toad: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

SMG4: Sh*t!

(In Team Mario's hiding place)

Mario: Grrr! This is just GREAT! The only thing stopping us from our death is Bowser's ASS!

Bowser: Hey! You should be thanking me- OW!

(Villager continues slicing Bowser's ass off.

Peach: Mario! I found a 1-up mushroom in my purse! We can revive Santa! Yay!

Mario: I don't give a f*ck! Aaaaaahhhhh! Maaaammmaaaa miiiiiiaaaaa! We're going to DIE PEACH!

Peach: Hey, have you checked down here yet? Let's go!

Mario: Hmmmmmmm.....

(He finds a turtle, which actually was Steve disguised as one. Steve's title is known as "Steve the reindeer?"

Steve: Hi guys!

Mario: Steve!? why...WHAT!? Mama mia! Are you supposed to be a reindeer? You're turtle stupid!

(After a few short seconds of quiet)

Steve: Dammit!

(Enzo is still trying to destroy the elf robots)

Enzo: Get over here!

(SMG4 holds up a book called: "How to blow up sh*t for dummies" and a Bullet Bill)

SMG4: Ok Luigi, I've managed to make a Bullet Bill to smash Enzo using this book.

Luigi:(crying because of Toad's death)

SMG4: Now I just gotta figure out how to turn this crap on...

(In Team Mario's room)

Mario: Grrr! Well... can you fly at least?!

Steve: No.

Mario: Oh come on! Mama mia! Can you at least fight!!!

Steve: No.

(Mario freaks out)

Mario: UNACEPTABLLLLLLLEE! Come on! I'mma just have to make you useful!

(STEVE FIREWORK ACTIVATED. Mario jumped on Steve)

Mario: Let'sa go!

SMG4: Cmmoooooooon!

(The two team leaders knocked out their enemies)

Mario: Wahoo!

SMG4: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!

(Both of them crashed into each other)

Mario and SMG4: AHAHOW!

Mario:(Dazed) Stay back! I got a Steve with fireworks up his ass and I'm not afraid to use it!

(Enzo picks up Peach)

Enzo: Haha! Lookie what I got here!

Peach: Aaaahhhh! Help me!

(Mario and Bowser freak out. Villager makes SMG4 and Luigi freak out and then he upgrades to a stronger axe)

SMG4: Oh hell no!

(SMG4 brings out a Barbie doll and looks at it in horror)

Enzo: You ain't touching my buns, hon.

(Enzo throws Peach and jumps into Bowser's clown car, flying up away with it and Peach.

Bowser:(In unison with Mario) MY CAR!

Mario:(In unison with Bowser) My spaghetti maker! Ok! I have an idea! Yeaaahh! Okiedokie!

(Mario's the rider while Bowser's the reindeer)

Mario: Let'sa go!

Bowser: You're kidding me right?

SMG4: The power of saint and this doll comparison uhh COMPELS YOU!

(Villager's axe hits the wall near SMG4. Luigi tried to get away from Villager. Then, there was a sound of the door bell.)

Luigi: Huh?

(Miss Claus makes an appearance at the door)

Miss Claus: So hi everybody! I'm home!

(When she sees her husband dead she freaks out)

Miss Claus: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

(When Villager's distracted Luigi hits him on the head with a frying pan)

SMG4: Oh SNAP!

Mario: C'mon Bowser! You've just got to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Bowser: I believe...I believe... I BELLLLIEEEEVEEE!

(Bowser goes too far by sliding to fast and Mario and Bowser fell deeper into the wonderland)

Mario:(In slow motion) Mama f*cker! Bowser! You didn't believe hard enough!!

(Enzo is dancing to Booty Bass-Shake That Ass in Bowser's clown car)

Peach: Ahhhhhh! Help me!

Mario: Great. Mama mia! Aaaaaaahhhhhh! And all I got is this stupid thing left! Grrrrrrrrr!

(Mario takes out Steve with the fireworks up his ass)

Steve: Hi Mario!

(Mario sends Steve flying right at Enzo with a punch)

Steve: Wheeeeee! Hi Guys!

Enzo: You think you've won this!?

(As Enzo is hurtling towards Santa's workshop, he drops Peach off)

Peach: Woooooooaaaaaaahhh!

(At first Mario and Bowser were horrified, but then Toad swoops in with the bird he was kidnapped by and catches Peach)

Toad: What up, b*atch!?

Mario and Bowser: Yaaaaaaay!

(Back in the workshop)

(Miss Claus is still screaming as Enzo crashed the clown car in Santa's workshop)

Peach: Allright, I'm back. Let's go! Oh yeah! Here you go Santa!

(Gives Santa the 1-up mushroom)

Santa: Wah! What was going on? And why do my pants smell like peas?

Luigi: Waaah!

(Luigi jumps back as Enzo yells)

Enzo: Allright, everyone GET BACK! I got a mega bomb here!! I'll use it if you don't stay back!

Mario: Oh no! Mama mia! Aaaaaahh! Aaaaaahh!

(Mario then remembers Santa and his Christmas Spirit)

Mario: Oohhoohoohoohoohoohoohoo! Hey stinky! You uhh weirdos need to calm down, it's Christmas and all that crap...I guess what i'm saying is... having some Christmas Spirit. Okie dokie!

(Mario gives Enzo a present)

Enzo: What the heck is this???

(The present has a cake in a shape of a heart. It says "You're a psychotic weirdo<3". The Christmas Spirit level for Enzo goes up from "MEH" to "I:D Yaaay")

Enzo: Oh! Oh it's so nice;-;It's just like my birthday cake...Maybe...we should just celebrate Christmas...

Mario: And you uhh..villager guy, Mama mia, I have no idea what you like, so you can have this. Here we go!

(Mario gives Villager a present that includes a bag of Doritos. The Christmas Spirit level for Villager goes up from "MEH" to "YEAAAA DORRITTOS!" The two killers are very happy with their presents)

SMG4: So in the end, Christmas is really just about presents.

Mario: Oh yeah!

Santa: Well done Mario. You did well. Here, I think you deserve this.

(Mario gets a Super Awesome Spaghetti Tea Party Tea Kit)

Mario: OH MY GOD! YES!

Bowser: Ooh! How about me?

Santa: Fine Bowser. You can have the present you want most.

(Bowser gets a Justin Bieber doll)

Bowser: (says nonsense) Justin Bieber! (makes sucking and licking noises)

(SMG4 looks disgusted)

Santa: Ho ho ho ho ho! Now I must go. Goodbye everyone!

(From outside Santa's on his sleigh)

Santa: Ho ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

(As Santa says Merry Christmas, SMG4 and Mario are smiling, but then suddenly Mario's smile turns into a frown)

Mario: Grrr! How the hell do we get home? Mama f*cker!

(SMG4 looks horrified after Mario said that. Video ends with 2015 SMG4 ending. Christmas music is played in the background)