R64: An Overdose of Dr. Mario/Transcript

This is a transcript for Retarded64: An Overdose of Dr. Mario.

Script
(Retarded64 2015 intro)

Dr. Mario: Pills here!

(We start off at the hospital. The phone rings to grab the attention of the Goomba Nurse.)

Nurse Goomba: *answers phone*

Phone: *garbled speech*

Nurse Goomba: WHAT?!

(Nurse Goomba presses switch and the EMERGENCY sign flashes.)

Purple Guy: KILL ME PLEASE!

(Purple Guy gets smushed while Dr. Pootis emerges from the damaged ship he arrived in.)

Dr. Pootis: GIVE US YOUR BEST DOCTOR!

Nurse: YOU'RE NEEDED!!!

(Dr. Mario turns around with crossed eyes.)

Dr. Mario: SHUT UP, NURSE!!!

(Dr. Mario walks into the emergency room with Nurse Peach. Spike is on a table ready to be operated while he makes pain-filled movements.)

Spike: Please, please bring amber lamps!

(The blue, red, and yellow viruses came out of Spike, laughing at Dr. Mario)

Dr. Mario: Mama fucker! (Throws two pills at the viruses, but misses and hits Nurse Peach instead)

Nurse Peach: Ow, shit!

(Dr. Mario roars aggressively and shoots pills with his machine gun and kills the blue virus.)

Dr. Mario: Wheeeee! (Shoots a flamethrower at the yellow virus while burning everything in the patient room)

(The yellow virus screams in pain)

Red Virus: RUN, BITCH, RUUUUUN!!

(Dr. Mario shoves a pill up the red virus' anus, with an announcer saying "K.O.", and Dr. Mario sends the virus flying in the air until it explodes into ashes.)

Dr. Mario: Ha ha!

(Bell rings)

Waluigi: Wahahaha, tea time!

Dr. Mario: Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoo! I hope she made lots-a-spaghetti!

(Mario leaves the patient room while Nurse Peach and Spike all burn to death.)