R64: Revenge of Freddy's Spaghettria/Transcript

This is a transcript for Retarded64: Revenge of Freddy's Spaghetteria.

Script
(Retarded64 remastered intro: The intro appears with the Nintendo 64 label and icon coming up onto the screen. However, after a few seconds, the word "Nintendo" explodes and is replace by "Retarded", as the Nintendo 64 icon falls off the screen, creating the Retarded 64 title screen)

Mario: *off screen* Mammaf*cker!

(The setting starts at Princess Peach's castle at night, and everyone is currently asleep. Peach is asleep on a bed, near a fish tank, Toadsworth is sleeping in a dog house, next to a dog water dish and snoring, and SMG4 is asleep in his room (the Secret Slide access room). Just then, a shadowy figure enters SMG4's room and sneaks pasts him, tiptoeing to his computer, which he left on. The shadow figure starts typing on the keyboard, which makes SMG4 jump up, now awake.)

SMG4: ???

(Looking a bit mad, SMG4 sneaks over to the computer and eventually turns the light on, revealing the shadow figure to be a naked Mario, who, in shock that he got busted, hurriedly gets rid of several pictures of spaghetti off of SMG4's computer.)

Mario: Wah!! Sh*t! Close close close close!

SMG4: Goddammit Mario!

Mario: Hey! I can't do this at my house! Luigi will know!

(Luigi appears in the room, peeping from the small hallway from the door)

Luigi: I already know, stupid!

Mario: Sh*t!

(SMG4 looks annoyed and runs over to Mario)

SMG4: Come here!!

(SMG4 grabs Mario's feet and tries to pull him away from the computer. Mario holds on to the computer and struggles to stay put.)

Mario: *screams* NO! PLEASE! ALL THE SPAGHETTI STORES ARE CLOSED! I NEED THIS!

(After a few seconds of struggle, Mario ends up dragging the table with him, sending the computer flying and the monitor falls to the ground. It glitches out for a bit before switching to a webpage titled "Spaghetti New", immediately interesting Mario as his eyes went big.)

Mario: OOOOOOOOOHHH!!

(Mario scrolls down the site and looks at a few articles, including the "Man Creates Nuclear Spaghetti" article, then the "Spaghetti Monster Terrorizes City" article, until he gets to the "Shut Down Spaghettria May Still Contain Spaghetti?" article, and then Mario gets interested to see that. The article says "This just in! The Freddy's Spaghettria company had stated that there is spaghetti still containing in one of their old locations! HORY CRAP. Mario was now completely sold as soon as he was done reading.)

Mario: HA HA HA! Wa-ha! An old place of that stupid bear company still has spaghetti? AW HELL YES!!

(Mario turns to SMG4)

Mario: OH! You know what this means!?

(SMG4 doesn't know what Mario is talking about, and then Chica the Chicken appears out of nowhere)

Chica: Pizza!

Mario: NO!!

(Mario gets mad and throws SMG4's PC at Chica)

(Cuts to the scene outside, in a city area, where Mario is driving in a van. Inside the van, Mario isn't alone, Luigi is also there, looking scared.)

Luigi: M-M-Mario... Why'd you bring me along? (Starts crying)

Mario: Hey stinky! You're a sacrifice, of course!

Luigi: WAAAH! How...about you just drop me off here?

'(Mario turns to Luigi, smiling.)

Mario: I'm-a don't think you can do that.

(Luigi then notices that the door next to him is locked up tight with chains and a padlock)

Luigi: Hmm? (Screams in panic)

(The Mario Bros. have arrived in front of "FREDBEAR and FRIENDS SPAGHETTIRIA", closed down.)

Mario: (Gets out of the van) Here we go! (Turns to Luigi) Hey, what's-a taking so long?!

Luigi: (Crawling with fear) Mama mia.

(Just then, Chica appears behind the van)

12 AM

(Mario goes inside the Spaghettiria in hopes to get some spaghetti.)

Mario: (Turns to Luigi) Luigi, come on!

(Luigi tries to catch up to Mario as he is holding a chainsaw while shaking in fear)

Mario: Hmmmm... This is a weird spaghettria...

(There is a Notice sign with an angry face that says "THIS SPAGHETTRIA HAS BEEN REDESIGNED FOR FAZBEAR'S FRIGHT. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING. Cuts to the part where Mario looks at the animatronics' masks.)

Mario: Hmm?

(Luigi is still shaking in fear)

Mario (off-screen): Hey, Luigi!

(Luigi turns to Mario)

Mario: (wears a Bonnie mask) Peek-a-boo!

Luigi: (Screams in fear and explodes)

(Cuts to the scene outside Freddy's Spaghettiria, where Chica is clucking.)

Chica: Bawk, bawk bawk, bawk bawk bawk bawk! Bawk bawk!

(Chica then notices a truck with a sign that says "The Pizza Bros." next to the pizza image. The delivery guy is driving, until he sees Chica out of nowhere.)

Chica: PIZZAAAAAAAAA!!

Guy: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

(The Pizza bros. truck then crashes in front of the door of Freddy's Spaghettiria)

(Cuts back to Mario, trying to find spaghetti.)

Mario: Hmm? (Looks at some dead man's skull) No! (Throws the skull to the floor and grabs the "Pingas Pringles-style") Oh hell no! (Throws the "Pingas Pringles-style" to the floor and grabs an Old Man)

Old Man: Feed me!

Mario: Mamaf*cker! (Throws the Old Man to the floor) Mama mia! Goddangit! Where the heck is the spaghetti???

Luigi: Maariooooo! Let's-a-go!

Mario: (Grunts) Fine! Let's go!

(Luigi laughs and does his victory dance)

Luigi: Oh-ho ha ha ha ha! Go Weegee, go Weegee! Weegee, Weegee! Oh yeah, oh yeah! (Crashes into someone in front of him) Wah! Hmm?

(The mysterious figure is Springtrap, laughing in front of Luigi. Luigi looks so scared he shrinks his own head.)

Springtrap: (Starts blabbering)

(Suddenly, Balloon Boy appears out of nowhere, only this time he is a phantom animatronic.)

Phantom Balloon Boy: Oh! Hey Mario!

Mario: SON OF A BITCH! AGAIN?!

Springtrap: (in slow motion) GET IN MY BELLY!!

(The Mario Bros. scream in fear and run away. During the chase scene, Mario trips.)

Mario: LUIGI!

Luigi: (Still running away) Uh, BYE!

Mario: YOU SON OF A BITCH!!

(Springtrap catches up to Mario.)

Springtrap: Two kids gonna die tonight!

Mario: WAH! (Screams)

(As Springtrap kills Mario, Luigi is about to get out of Freddy's Spaghettiria, but there is one problem: The Pizza Bros. truck got the door locked while Chica is enjoying pizza, leaving Luigi trapped.)

Chica: Pizzaaaaaa.

Luigi: (Screams from the inside)

1 AM

Luigi: Maaario! (Starts crying, until he hears a phone ringing) Hmm? Mario! (Answers the phone)

???: Hellooooo! Hello?! He-!

(The phone beeps.)

Phone Operator: Please hold, your call will be answered by the next available operator.

Luigi: Mama mia.

(The phone beeps and it plays the "What Does The Fox Say?" song while Luigi likes it.)

Luigi: Oh ho ha ha ha, oh yeah!

(Suddenly, the phantom version of Foxy the Pirate Fox appears right behind Luigi.)

Phantom Foxy: Surprise, motherfucker!

Luigi: (Screams) WAAA-HA-HA-HA-HAA! (Explodes)

Phantom Foxy: (Singing) Booty time! Booty time!

Luigi: AHHHH!

(Phantom Balloon Boy then appears in front of Luigi.)

Phantom Balloon Boy: Swiggity swooty!

Luigi: WAAAH!

(Then there is the phantom version of Freddy Fazbear himself, who appears out of nowhere.)

Phantom Freddy: Hey there, buddy, how's it going?

(Luigi then grabs the Poltergust 3000.)

Phantom Foxy: (To the other phantom animatronics) RUN, BITCH, RUUUUUN!

Luigi: Coochie-coochie! Coochie-coochie! Coochie-coochie!

Phantom Balloon Boy: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!! (Gets sucked in by Luigi's Poltergust 3000)

Phantom Freddy: Oh shit, oh SHIT, OH SHIT! (Slams through the glassed window to get away from Luigi)

Phantom Foxy: (Backs away and sings while wearing shades) I'ma get the fuck up outta here! Fuck this shit, I'm out!

(Luigi then stops while Phantom Balloon Boy gets stuck in the Poltergust 3000.)

Luigi: Mama mia!

(But then, Springtrap shows up, screeching.)

Luigi: (Screams and gets another Poltergust 3000 to suck Springtrap in)

(But the Poltergust 3000 has no effect on Springtrap, because he is not a phantom animatronic.)

Springtrap: (evil laughter) I am invincible, INVINCIBLE! (Gets hit by Luigi's Poltergust 3000) OWW!

2 AM

(Luigi looks at the hallway by the security cameras)

Luigi: Hmmmmmm... (Looks at Springtrap rapping)

Springtrap: (Rapping) Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for da booty!

Luigi: Mamaf*ckya! (Looks at the "PLAY SOUND" button) Oh ho ha ha ha ha! (Pushes the button)

(Springtrap hears a voice)

Voice: Let's play some Super Mario (Robotnik's face) Pingas!

Springtrap: OH MY GOD! WE ARE PLAYING THIS, BABY! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! WOO! YEAH, BITCH!

(Luigi pushes the button again and again while the voice keeps saying "Super Mario Pingas!", until an "Audio error" occurs.)

Luigi: (Shakes in fear) (Witnesses a "Video error") WAH! Oh no!

(The Maintenance Panel appears behind Luigi)

Luigi: WAAAH! (Looks at the Maintenance Panel with three options to choose: "Rebooty Video", "Rebooty Audio", and "Rebooty Ventilation". Also there is a down arrow.) Ha ha ha! Lucky me! Ooh hoo ha ha ha! Oh... (Chooses the down arrow for two more options: "Enable Sound Rape" and "Emergency Shut Down". Then he chooses "Enable Sound Rape".)

(Mangle appears out of nowhere, making a "Sound Rape", otherwise known as "the most annoying sound in the world".)

Luigi: (Screams and deactivates the Sound Rape)

(Luigi then chooses "Emergency Shut Down", and by doing that, the screen changes to "Shutting Down" with Balloon Boy's troll face while the "Never Gonna Give You Up" song plays. And then the Maintenance Panel explodes next to Luigi.)

Luigi: (Gets up) Mama mia. WAH!

(Luigi looks at Springtrap as they stare each other while the "Gentle Breeze" theme from "Trauma Center: Under the Knife 2" plays. During that part, Luigi's face changes to "Weegee Face", Springtrap's face changes to his animated face, and Luigi's face changes to Scout from Team Fortress 2. The song stops as Luigi witnesses a "Ventilation error".)

Luigi: WAAAH! Oh no!

(The scene fades to black and fades in, as Luigi notices that Springtrap ran away.)

Luigi: Hmm? (Cries in fear)

3 AM

(Cuts to a scene with a drawing of some exorcism circle and real candles on two sides. It is revealed that Luigi set those up.)

Luigi: Out of this house! OUT OF THIS HOUSE! (Holds a Holy Cross) Spirits be gone from this house!

(The lights switch back on and Springtrap comes back behind Luigi.)

Springtrap: BIATCH, hell no!

(Luigi runs away, screaming in fear once again, as Springtrap chases him.)

Springtrap: GET IN MY BELLY!

(Then out of nowhere, Phantom Foxy comes back in front of Springtrap.)

Phantom Foxy: Sup, brah?

Springtrap: AHH! (Trips down) Ow, shit!

Phantom Foxy: I'm sorry man, I'm just curious.

(Springtrap gets up and realized that he hurts his knee.)

Springtrap: Sss...ahh! Sss...ahh! Sss...ahh!

Luigi: Oh yeah! I'm-a-Luigi, number one!

(Suddenly, Luigi hears Mario's voice from nowhere.)

Mario's Voice (off-screen): Hey Luigi!

Luigi: Mario!

(Luigi follows the sound of Mario and sees him in some room. Luigi is relieved that Mario is still alive.)

Luigi: Mario!

(However, there is something different about Mario. Luigi notices that Mario lost his body and has now become a new animatronic, Luigi meets "Animatronic Mario".)

Animatronic Mario: I'm-a-so happy to see you again, f*cker!

(Luigi is shocked to see him like that, while Animatronic Mario scans him as it says "Spaghetti.exe activate". Then he analyzed him while it says "Analysing...")

Luigi: Maariooooo!

(Animatronic Mario finishes scanning him as Luigi turns into spaghetti to him. The line now says "That's a spaghetti!". After that, Animatronic Mario makes robotic noises, grabs an RPG, locked and loaded as he aims at Luigi.)

Animatronic Mario: It's raping time!

(Luigi manages to avoid getting blasted by Animatronic Mario. While Luigi is crawling in a vent, Animatronic Mario finds him and aims at him again.)

Animatronic Mario: How about a nice-a game of "YOU MUST DIE"?! (Shoots a flamethrower from his RPG in a vent)

Luigi: (Gets out of the vent before being burned alive) HORY SHITO(HOLY SHIT)!

(Animatronic Mario tries to find Luigi yet again.)

Animatronic Mario: LUIGI!!

Luigi: EEEEEEEEE! (Notices the Poltergust 3000 while Phantom Balloon Boy is still stuck inside of it)

(Luigi then confronts Animatronic Mario.)

Luigi: (Grunts)

Animatronic Mario: Hoo hoo, hello!

(Luigi aims his Poltergust 3000 at Animatronic Mario, changes it from "Suction" to "Blow", and fires Phantom Balloon Boy at Animatronic Mario.)

Luigi: Hoo hoo ha ha ha!

Phantom Balloon Boy: (Screaming)

Animatronic Mario: WHOA! (Gets hit by Phantom Balloon Boy)

(Animatronic Mario gets back up and is now malfunctioning with a cracked screen that says "Critical error". Then Luigi gets closer to him as Luigi's face changes to "Weegee's face".)

Luigi (with a Weegee Face): IT'S-A-MEEEEE!

Animatronic Mario: Oh what the FU-?!

(Luigi punches Animatronic Mario in the face. Animatronic Mario's screen is damaged and now it says "Spaghetti.exe has stopped working.". Then, Animatronic Mario gets back up again.)

Luigi: Maaarioooooo!

(Animatronic Mario then somehow strips himself naked as he is excited to see Luigi again, meaning that he got his memory back.)

Animatronic Mario: LUIGI! Nice-a to see you again!

Luigi: Oh yeah!

3:30 AM

(Springtrap is still in pain.)

Springtrap: Sss...ahh! Sss-!

4 AM

Luigi: WAAAH! Mario! Wait, Mario! Where you going?

Animatronic Mario: I'ma go get my body back! That's what! I know where they are. Don't worry. Just try not to die! (walks to a wall and dials a number to teleport somewhere) Let's-a-go! (Teleports)

(Cuts to a scene of a location called "Phantom Animatronics Lounge".)

Phantom Balloon Boy: (Sings the beginning of "Circle of Life" from "The Lion King", until he gets hit by a rock.)

(The scene reveals that it was Golden Freddy Fazbear who threw a rock at Phantom Balloon Boy.)

Golden Freddy: JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

(Cuts to a scene with Mangle and a phantom version of Bonnie the Bunny.)

Mangle: Hey, you wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? (Makes an "Ear Rape" sound)

(Phantom Bonnie's head explodes.)

(Cuts to a scene with Puppet singing in front of his birthday cake, with a sign that says "Happy Birthday, Mask Dude". Then cuts to a scene with an "Animatronics needed" sign with Freddy's face.)

Phantom Freddy: Uuuugh... (Vanishes)

(Cuts back to a scene inside Freddy's Spaghettiria with Luigi getting scared yet again.)

Luigi: EEEEEEEE!

(The screen gets closer and Phantom Freddy pops up)

Phantom Freddy: Peek-a-boo!

Luigi: SWEET MERCIFUL CRA-! (Explodes)

Great!

(Phantom Freddy goes back to the lounge with his "easy" button.)

Easy Button: That was easy.

(Animatronic Mario enters the lounge.)

Animatronic Mario: Hmm... (Meets the phantom version of Chica) Hoo hoo hoo, hello! Hey! Can I, uhh...have my body back, please?

Phantom Chica: Pizza! Pizza!

(The background shows Mangle still making an "Ear Rape" sound)

Animatronic Mario: OH COME ON! What do you mean 1 million pizzas for my body back? Bring me to your boss!

Phantom Chica: Pizza!

Animatronic Mario: (Gets closer to Phantom Chica) Say "Pizza" again! SAY "PIZZA" AGAIN! I DARE YA, I DOUBLE DARE YA, MOTHERFUCKER! SAY "PIZZA" ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!

Phantom Chica: Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!

(Animatronic Mario throws Phantom Chica to the table with a cake in front of Puppet, destroying the cake and causing Puppet to roar in anger. As Mario moves on, Chica stays there saying "Pizza!" over and over again while Puppet is still roaring in anger.)

Animatronic Mario: (Singing) La, la, la, hm-HM-hm-hm-hmm! (Looks at the door next to the sign that says "Do not enter")

5 AM

(Animatronic Mario finally meets Purple Guy face to face. It is revealed that Purple Guy was the one who removed Mario's soul out of his body and into his animatronic form.)

Purple Guy: Wow! Hey! I didn't program you to come back! And you ain't getting your body back either, fatty!! (Evil laughter)

Animatronic Mario: (Grunts slowly)

Purple Guy: That spaghetti.exe program shouldn't let you hurt me! HAHA!

(Mario then strips himself naked in front of Purple Guy.)

Purple Guy: WOW, uhhh...I don't remember putting that in.

(Animatronic Mario dances while the "Weegee (Running in the 90's remix)" plays. By doing that, Animatronic Mario somehow throws lots of spaghetti at Purple Guy)

Purple Guy: AHH! (Gets hit by lots-a spaghetti, then gets back up and screams) Ahhhhh! Fuck this shit! (Goes in a Warp Pipe, then gets out from the other Warp Pipe in a wall, back to Freddy's Spaghettiria.) AHHHH! (Hits a wall)

Luigi: Hmm?

(Luigi meets Purple Guy.)

Purple Guy: (Gets up and faces Luigi) What's up?! (Gets hit by Animatronic Mario) OW-HO-HOW! (Gets back up again) YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! AHHHHH!

(Cuts to a scene where Springtrap is still in pain.)

Springtrap: Sss...ahh!

(Purple Man finds Springtrap.)

Purple Guy: A-HA! (Deactivates Springtrap with a red button) WOO-HOO! (Tries to possess Springtrap)

(Luigi and Animatronic Mario catch up to Purple Guy.)

Luigi: Mama mia.

Animatronic Mario: Mama mia!

(Cuts to a scene where it looks like Purple Guy is "raping" Springtrap, and Animatronic Mario strips himself naked again, while Luigi looks shocked to see that. But after that, Purple Guy finally possesses Springtrap, changing Springtrap's colour to purple.)

Purpletrap: YOU AIN'T GONNA DO SHIIIIIT! YOU, AIN'T GONNA DO SH-

(Purpletrap then starts malfunctioning, causing him to scream in pain.)

Purpletrap: (Screams in pain) OhshitohshitohshitohshitohSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOH-!

(Purpletrap stops, causing him to die slowly.)

Purpletrap: I am dead! Not big surprise! (Dies)

Animatronic Mario: Congratulations!

6 AM

(Animatronic Mario is about to blow up the door with dynamite, in order to blast the truck from the outside away.)

Animatronic Mario: INCOMING!!

Luigi: (Screams while backing away)

(An explosion occurs, blasting the truck and Chica away. Then, Luigi and Animatronic Mario finally walk out of Freddy's Spaghettiria, which is now completely on fire.)

Animatronic Mario: Yahoo! Wahoo! Hey, that was pretty good!

Luigi: Mama mia.

Animatronic Mario: I wonder where my body is...

(Suddenly, Mario's body gets blasted out of Freddy's Spaghettiria, and it is also on fire.)

Animatronic Mario: Oh, there it is. (Picks up his body) Ahh screw it, I'll let Professor E. Gadd fix it later. Let's-a go eat some spaghetti!

(Luigi and Animatronic Mario, with Mario's body, walk back home. Suddenly, it is revealed that Chica is still alive and is now on fire, dancing and singing.)

Chica: (Singing) It's getting hot in here! (Uh-huh!) So take off all your clothes! (Stops singing) IT BURNS!!

End video.