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Christopher "Chris" Gordman is one of two main protagonists (the other being Swagmaster69696969696) of the Guards N' Retards series and a security guard who works at Fresh Spaghetti Tubbie in several bloopers.

He is Swagmaster69696969696's partner. He, along with Swagmaster, became prominent characters during the ninth season of SMG4.


Most of the time, Chris acts as the straight man of the Guards N' Retards duo, as he is typically a no-nonsense, hard-working, and grounded individual. However, he does display a noticeable level of reluctance and frustration with both his job and his coworkers; particularly with his partner, Swagmaster.

Compared to Swag, Chris is far more intelligent, usually being the one to come up with the plans during a situation, with varying degrees of success. Despite his annoyance with his partner, Chris will sometimes use Swag's idiotic habits to work with his plans. Such examples include announcing a fake "Swag Party" in order to lure Swagmaster to where Chris is after he and Sergeant Mark are captured by the Butt Ninja and his boss; as well as convincing Swag to go flirt with a random woman on the beach so Chris can enjoy his vacation in peace.

While Chris can sometimes come off a bitter and spiteful man due to his frustrations, he does occasionally show a more sympathetic side, such as when he was worried about Swag dying after he is assaulted by the Butt Ninja, as well as when he feels guilty for previously yelling at Swag for ruining their vacation. There are also times when he willingly joins in on some of Swag's antics in order to try to relax.

Unlike Swag, Chris does not hold a hatred for anime, and doesn't have any grudge towards Mario and his friends, even apologizing to Saiko Bichitaru that the anime ban is still ongoing and she'll have to go back to Japan. The only thing he cares for during The Anime Arc is his job and fights the gang in order to preserve it. Though he initially blames the group for his lost job, he makes up for it by helping the group search for Meggy.

Chris can shoulder burdens whenever he fails. As seen in SMG4: World War Mario, he apologizes to the group about no longer being able to help due to being shot in the shoulder, but they reassure him that his price will not go in vain.


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Sad Mario I'm so lonely...
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R64: Mario and the retarded spaghetti factory


SMG4: The Movie Audition

Swagmaster69696969696, who was Aladdin, and Chris, who was being the male equivalent to Jasmine, were reenacting the scene, A Whole New World. However, Chris did not want to hear Swag sing, and after a while of hearing him sing, jumped off the magic carpet. Swag then called Chris an a-hole in disappointment.

SMG4: Mario And... The Well

SMG4: Mario's Prison Escape

Guards N' Retards

Guards N' Retards: The Butt Ninja

Guards N' Retards: Swag Party Hostages

Guards N' Retards: Da bomb

Guards N' Retards: The Vacation

Anime Arc

Part 1

SMG4: Mario's Illegal Operation

SMG4: The Mario Showdown

SMG4: Mario Saves Anime

Part 2

SMG4: The Inkling Disappearances

SMG4: Mario and the Experiment

SMG4: World War Mario

SMG4: Final Hours

Post Anime Arc

SMG4: Mario Works at McDonalds

SMG4: Mario Waits in Line For Some Spaghetti

SMG4: The Festival Of The Year

SMG4: Mario Gets His PINGAS Stuck In The Door

SMG4: If Mario was in The Sonic Movie


v - e - d SMG4 characters
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