Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
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"JUST LIKE THE SIMULATIONS!" |
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This page is the transcript for Guards N' R*****s: Prisoners.
Transcript[]
Scene 1/Intro[]
(Peaceful Music is playing until a Blonde prisoner running and Chris getting on his tail.)
Prisoner: "WUBUBUBU! WUBUBUBU!"
Chris: "OH JESUS CHRIST! Just stop!"
(side view of the prisoner running, then comes to a shot with Swag.)
Swagmaster: "I GOT THIS CHRIS! Imma charging my lazer! WOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOP--"
Prisoner: "PINGUS!"
(Swag turns around.)
Swag: "OK, now that's just rude..."
(Automated doors open up.)
Prisoner: "LEAVE ME ALONE!!"
Chris: "Godammit! Stop that prisoner!"
(The man stops and looks around, realizing it's a dead end.)
Prisoner: "Uh ooohh Spaghetiioooo..."
Chris: "Look! We don't want trouble! Just come along with u-"
(The Prisoner freaks out and shoots Chris.)
Chris: "OW! I'M HIT! ARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!"
Swag: "You bastard! Who's going to make my sandwiches now?!"
(The Prisoner sings "Hater's Gonna Hate")
Chris: "Don't kill him! We need him alive."
(Camera zooms up close to swags face.)
Swag: "Yeah, alright fine Chris... I guess you're right for onc- SUPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!"
Metal Slug Announcer: "ROCKIT LAWNCHAIR!"
(Swag shoots a Rocket at the Prisoner.)
Prisoner: "Uh ooh..."
(Famous last words The Prisoner dies in an explosion.)
Swag: "Yay! Woohoo! Oh baby, go Swagmaster! Your the best! Your better then all the douchebags!"
Chris: "NOOOOOOOOOO... GOD DAMMIT, SWAG."
Sargeant Mark: "What the hell was all that?"
Swag: (Gets startled) "OH H CHRIST! THE HELL MAN!?"
Chris: "Swagmaster did all of it!"
Swag: "AWW HELL NAWW!"
Mark: "That was beautiful! I like how you guys work! I'm promoting you to prison guards!"
(Swag stands there while Chris bends down in disbelief.)
Chris: "Shit!"
(screen goes to black.)
Mario: "That's-a so nice!"
Scene 2[]
(Chris and Swag are guarding two prison cells.)
Chris: "Yo! How you holding up?"
Swag: "My rofl copter goes SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI.[1]"
Chris: "Yeah, ok nevermind."
(A prisoner with camo suit begs on Swag.)
Another Prisoner: "Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!"
Swag: "Hey shut up in there! It's gonna be alright. Just make out with your Jailbuddy, kthxbai"
(The prisoner turns around, "What is Love?" plays as it zooms on the Prisoners jail buddy.)
Prison Buddy: "You're hot! *Guffaws*"
Another Prisoner: "...Fawk."
(The Prisoner gets brutally murdered and screaming as his blood is spewing on Swag.)
Swag: "Huh? Raining already?"
"Prisoner casualties: 01"
(Mario is heard worrying in his cell.)
Chris: "OH MY GOD! SHUT UP WILL YOU!?"
Mario: "I'm not suppose to be here! Get me out of here! Quickly! D: I'm going to die before Wario does!"
Wario: "AH HA HA HA HA! I'MMA GONNA WIN!"
(Mario grumbles and shoots a fire ball, causing him to be scorched.)
Wario: "Hahaha! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
"Prisoner casualties: 02"
(Scene transitions to an Old Lady in her cell.)
Swag: "Hey! Where's the second prisoner? He's suppose to be in his cell-"
(Swag looks down.)
"God dammit granny..."
(The scene cuts to the floor, with a skeleton corpse on the ground.)
"Did you litter more skeletons on the floor again!?"
Old Lady: "RAISINS!"
"Prisoner casualties: 14"
(Scene cuts to Chris with banging heard behind him.)
Chris: "Oh come on! What is it this time?"
(the door cell explodes)
"AHH JEEZ, WHAT THE HELL!?"
(Luigi drives away from the cell while "Death staring" at Chris, with "Ridin'" is playing.)
Luigi: "OOOH-HUHUHUHU!"
(Luigi's Standard Kart gets collision to the doors and blows up, somehow?)
"Prisoner casualties: 102"
(Scene cuts again.)
Chris: "HOLY SHIT ON A STICK! SWAGMASTER HELP ME[2] PLEASE!"
(Po is seen screaming.)
"I GOT AN AUTISTIC BEAR OVER HERE AND IT'S NOT FRIENDLY!"
Swag: "Ermergerd[3] buddy! I'm coming to save you! But first..."
(Camera zoom in on Swag's face.)
"LET ME TAKE A SELFIE."
(8-Bit glasses fall ontop of Swags nose. He start spazzing out and does several selfies.)
"Swag. Swag. Swag, BITCH."
(Chris and Po are standing there confused.)
Swag: "jitghtbjdfiztnjiyohtjebkenmSQUAREBRACKET."[4]
(cut back to Chris and Po standing there confused.)
Chris: "Da fak?"
(camera zooms into Po and a POV perspective with his swag level at the max.)
Po: (Has a heart attack) "DEEEEEEEEAR..." (Dies.)
"Prisoner SWAG heart attacks: 24564326"
Scene 2[]
Swag: "Hey..."
Chris: "We're really bad prison guards aren't we?"
(Scene shows most of the inmates ablaze.)
Swag: "I think we're going really well! Chris. Look at me. Don't[5] be sad, be :D[6]"
Chris: "Happy face?"
Swag: ":D, now give me a :D hug!"
Chris: "No really that's fine!"
Swag: "No! Come on! Don't be shy![7]"
Chris: "Help! Rape!"
(Both Chris and Swag look up)
Mark (Over PA): "You two! Stop hugging like sissies[8] and get back to work!"
(PA cuts off)
Swag: "Great! Now they think we're homos, thanks a lot Chris!"
Chris: *sigh*
Swag: "Time to get good Chris! Follow me!"
(Swag walks to the right, and scene cuts to black.)
Scene 3[]
Swag: "This is Gavin. He is the new prisoner to our little home. Gavin! Say hi to the audience!"
Gavin: "Uh, uh hi. I don't know what I'm doing here... uh, can I get outta here--"
Swag: "Lol alright Shut up, time to make Gavin a happy Prisoner!"
(Scene cuts back to his cell where Gavin is making a ruckus.)
Swag: "Gavin is making a ruckus. What would a good guard do?"
Gavin: (Grumbles)
Chris: "Being you... You would probably threaten him."
Swag: "WHAT!? Of course not! That's mean! You just POLITLY approach him and NUT SHOT!"
(Swag shoots Gavin in the leg.)
Gavin: "AH HOWHOWOUGH...!!"
Swag: "Shit, I missed..."
(Scene cuts and Gavin is running on the walls.)
Swag: "Gavin is trying to escape. What do you do?"
Chris: "Try and stop him, maybe?"
Swag: "No! You let him go free."
(Swag opens the Prison door and Gavin runs while celebrating.)
Chris: "WHAT!? NO!"
Swag: "Don't worry. He needs to see the many wonders of the world."
(Gavin reaches the door, and then Morgan Freeman appears, startling him.)
Morgan: "Hi."
Gavin: "(Scream)"
Morgan: "Mmm, Mmm, I do love me some Titty Sprinkles!"
Gavin: "Oh shit OH SHIT OH-- *Scream*"
(Losing a life jingle plays, Cut to Gavin in the bathroom.)
Swag: "Gavin is taking a piss, what do you do?"
Chris: "How about giving him some privacy!"
Swag: "No you idiot! You got to make him FEEL welcome! Hey there Gavin... Comfortable there?"
(Swag gets up to Gavin, and is uncomfortable.)
"Hope you're having a great time bby.[9] You know why they call me Swagmaster for a reason? Let me just unzip my pants and I'll show you."
(Swag unzips his pants. Gavin is UTTERLY uncomfortable.)
Chris: "Hey wait! What the hell are you doing!?"
Swag: "STAHP CHRIS! STAHP!"
Chris: "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON YOU MOLESTER!"
Swag: "I'm just trying to show him my rainbow underpants!"
Chris: "No one gives a shit about your underwear!"
Swag: "Stahp being jelly, Chris!"
(meanwhile in the security room.)
Mark: "Hey wait... What in the world!? THOSE BASTARDS!"
(Marks head to the bathroom while Swag and Chris are arguing while Gavin is so embarrassed.)
Mark: "What are you doing here?!"
Swag: "Uhh I can explain... Why there's a Rocket Launcher up Gavin's butt."
Mark: "I frankly don't want to know! Now get back to your posts or you're[10] dead meat!"
Scene 4[]
(Scene cuts back to the jail area.)
Swag: "Urrgghh, stupid Sargeant! Never let us have fun!"
Chris: "I don't think taking your pants off.. In front of ME counts as FUN."
Swag: "Yeah well it was for me!"
(An old man is banging on Chris' door.)
Chris: "Just ignore him and he's not there!"
(The Old man jumps on Chris, him freaking out.)
"HOLY CHRIST! GET HIM OFF! AH HELPHELPHELPHELP!"
Swag: "This job is like pointy boobs on your face. It gets annoying, but you still love it! Am I right, prisoner?"
(Swag turns around and the cell is empty)
"Wait! the fuck where'd the prisoner go!? Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Umm Chris... We may have lost a prisoner..."
(both the Old man and Chris stand still. with metal gear "Spotted" sound playing)
Chris: "WHAT!?"
Scene 5[]
Chris: "I thought you said: "Let them go free and they'll die!"."
Swag: "You actually trust the bullshit that comes out of my mouth!? When did you stoop so low Chris?"
Chris: "OH SHUT UP! Now which prisoner is it? (He looks left) Gavin?"
Swag: "No, Gavin is still taking a piss
References[]
- ↑ Pronouned as "Swos"
- ↑ Chris pronouced it as "Help a me"
- ↑ Swag probably meant to say "Emergency".
- ↑ "(Bootlegged Sweg)" - Close Captions
- ↑ Pronounced as "Dun"
- ↑ Pronounced "Happy Face"
- ↑ Pronounced as "Shi yi"
- ↑ His Subtitles say: "Sissys"
- ↑ Same pronunciation as "Baby"
- ↑ Mark says this fast, said it like "Post soyor dead meat."
V · T · E |
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Pre-Season 1 | |
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Video 1 to 2 | Unknown Super Mario Sunshine Glitches Video · Photos made in Super Smash Bros. Brawl |
Season 15 | |
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Overall Video 916 to 925 | Mario Drinks Water (Gallery · Transcript) · Mario Gets Lost In A Shopping Mall (Gallery · Transcript) · REMASTERED64: If Mario was in...Team Fortress 2 (Gallery · Transcript) · The Fight Of All Time (Gallery · Transcript) · Find Luigi (Gallery · Transcript) · MARIO’S DEATHRUN (Gallery · Transcript) · IT'S A ME......... (Gallery · Transcript) · Mario Gambles His Life (Gallery · Transcript) · Hobo Mario (Gallery · Transcript) · You Shouldnt Have Done That (Gallery · Transcript) |
Overall Video 926 to 935 | Enough is Enough (Gallery · Transcript) · Silence Of The Cats [TRAILER] (Gallery · Transcript) · Silence Of The Cats (Gallery · Transcript) · Mario Cleans The House (Gallery · Transcript) · This Will Be Mario In 2030 (Gallery · Transcript) · The Lil' Fellas (Gallery · Transcript) · LETS MAKE A DEAL (Gallery · Transcript) · Mario Soup (Gallery · Transcript) · Super SMG4 Party (Gallery · Transcript) · The Race of All Time (Gallery · Transcript) |
Overall Video 936 to 945 | He Was Denied Switch 2 (Gallery · Transcript) · The Internet Is Dead (Gallery · Transcript) · SMG3's New Mascot (Gallery · Transcript) · SPLIT (Gallery · Transcript) · PrisonVision (Gallery · Transcript) · SMG4 Season 15 Video 941 · SMG4 Season 15 Video 942 · SMG4 Season 15 Video 943 · SMG4 Season 15 Video 944 · SMG4 Season 15 Video 945 |
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