Guards N' Retards: Swag Magic.

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Guards N' Retards: Swag Magic.
5
Series	Super Mario 64 Bloopers
Air date	December 7th, 2015
Idea by	Unknown
Directed by	SuperMarioGlitchy4
Episode Guide
Previous	SM64 Bloopers: Shell Shocked Guards N' Retards: Le Train Breach
Next	SM64: Ssenmodnar 0 - Release the Retardness! Guards N' Retards: Guards N' Retards: Da bomb

Guards N' Retards: Swag Magic., often more simply called Swag Magic, is the 254th video released by SuperMarioGlitchy4, and the sixth episode in the Guards N' Retards series.

Synopsis

Chris and Swagmaster69696969696 get suspended from their guard duty after many screw-ups. Suddenly, they meet a shady figure named Ivan who says that he can help them get their job back...or not.

Plot

TBA

Characters

• Chris
• Swagmaster69696969696
• Greg
• Swagmaster69696969696's Mom (debut, cameo)
• Ivan (debut)
• Sergeant Mark
• Teletubbies
• Morgan Freeman (cameo)
• Mario Head (cameo)
• Chica the Chicken (cameo)
• Bonnie the Bunny (cameo)
• Shy Guy (2 cameos)
• Mario (2 cameos)
• Crystal Maiden
• Elizabeth

Trivia

• The episode seems to reference Undertale, as Chris's dialogue now uses one of the game's fonts.
• It also has a reference to "Earthbound", as Swagmaster69696969696's dialogue uses font similar to Mr. Saturn's from said game
• From this blooper, the Project64 screen definitely changes to 4:3 stretched
• This is the first time Swagmaster appears in a Gmod model.

TBA

(SMG4 intro. Sergeant Mark appears instead of Mario.)

Sergeant Mark: Gimme that butt!

(Cut to black. It then fades into Chris and Swag standing next to each other when a sad song plays)

Swagmaster(narrating): This is a sad story of two fired guards, after screwing their company over..., this retard Chris..., and the sexy Swagmaster! (airhorns make noise and men shouting ooooh offscreen, yellow sparkles rain down onscreen) Were left to fight in the harsh world, (Swagmaster is spinning around on one knee) so cold...,need money..., gimme some pingas....

Chris(shoots Swag): Oh shut up you idiot it's only been 1 hour... since they suspended us!

Swagmaster: Screw you Chris! You don't know the pain of being homeless!!

Random woman: Aww you poor babies! Want to come over to my house-

Swagmaster(spazzing out): WTF! DID YOU JUST CALL ME A BABY B***H!? (he uses a rocket launcher to fire a rocket at her)

Swagmaster(to Chris): You see Christopher? You see the pain I must go through!?

Chris: I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU IN A SECOND

?/Big Red Jawa: Nyahahaha, hello comrades!

Chris: What the?

Swagmaster(high pitched voice, spazzing out): HOLY S**T ITS THOSE GUYS THAT OFFER YOU CANDY BUT THEN SHOVE YOU IN A VAN RUN CHRIS RUN!

Big Red Jawa: Noo comrades, I heard about your little dilemma, I am here to help. I am your friendly neighbourhood magical creepy dude... (a smiley emoji appears on his face) IVAN!

Swagmaster(shoots Ivan away three times): I don't want yo candy!!! Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

Chris: SHUT UP! for one second! (to Ivan) ...why do you want to help us?

Ivan: Can't a creepy dude give some love... if you know what I mean... (he makes a loud licking noise, this makes Swagmaster scream)

Chris: Hmm...well if you can help us, then that'd be great!

Ivan: Ok then all you have to give me...(low voice) is your soul! (he laughs but coughs horribly, Swag and Chris look each other)

Swagmaster: Sorry bro I don't have a soul!

Ivan: WAT...

Swagmaster: I sold it to some ghost last week for some awesome ice-cream! Damm it's sucked a**!

Ivan: Ok ok that's fine...(low voice) you'll have to perish in hell then.

Swagmaster: Ah hell, that's a great place! Y'know I once pee'd on- (Ivan creates a black hole which sucks Swag and Chris in)

Chris(while getting sucked, spazzing out): AHHHHH

Swagmaster(while getting sucked, spazzing out): AHHHHAHAHAH

(the scene fades to a Final Destination stage)

Swagmaster: Huh!? What the heck is this crap!? Where am I!? (another woman facing in opposite direction appears in front of him)

Swagmaster: What the...who's that? Wait a minute! ...mom?! Mom is that you!? (Swag's mom turns around to Swag, but her face is covered with Swag's face)

Swag's Mom: Oh hi sweetie! Momma's got a big surprise for you!

Swagmaster: Oh boy mama! What did you get me?!

Swag's Mom: It's something you wanted ever since you were little...(she looks down slowly and back up, but her face was changed into Morgan Freeman's face)

Swag's Mom/Morgan Freeman: Tittie sprinkles!

Swagmaster: WHAT THE F**K?!!! (Morgan Freeman roars while moving towards him before he explodes, sending Swagmaster out of the map)

(the scene changes to a flat grassland with a 2 storey house)

Swagmaster(offscreen): SHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! (while he falls from the sky and lands on the ground, he stands up)

Swagmaster: What the heeeellll?!! What the hell is going on?! I swear to god... if this house doesn't lead me back I'm gonna-...(he enters the house through the front door, but then he pauses and saw three girls with a lot of money, and the text 'The house of swag' appears on top of the screen)

Swagmaster: OH MA GAAAAAA! Oh my god! I'm having a swag boner!!! waaaaaahhhh!-(a giant pingas erects from his crotch which kills a woman, Swag moves to a different girl who is sitting on a couch)

Swagmaster: Hey baby... you look so fine that you remind me of my mom... wait s**t! That came out wrong!... ummm...you look dazzling... like a person on fire.. (the girl babbles)

Swagmaster: Mmm, now that's sexeh! (the girl continuously babbles until Sergeant Mark's head appears on her face)

Sergeant Mark: haha, you're so sexy babe.

TBA

"I have absolutely no idea what's going on." This article is a Stub, which means very little info is known about this particular character, item, etc. Can you help us at The SMG4/GLITCH Wiki? Click here to edit this page with facts you know!

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