(SMG4 2016 intro plays)
(The blooper starts when the camera zooms in on Mario's retarded face.)
Mario: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. (Mario is staring at the spaghetti vending machine, he starts humping it multiple times.)\
SVM: Please insert a coin to purchase spaghetti. (Mario looks at the coin symbol with 'x0' at the top right corner, noticing that he has no coins.)
SVM: We have a variety of spaghetti from Parmesan to Italian and our special is-(Mario then shoves a Toad in the money slot.)
SVM: OH SWEET JESUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP IT OH GOD-(the scene cuts to the truck with Heavy inside who is driving while he is having a seizure and singing The Heavy Song.)
(cut back to Mario who is still shoving the Toad inside the money slot.)
Mario: *Angry German Kid sounds*
SVM: HOLY SHIT HELP ME HELP ME CALL THE POLICE I AM BEING ASSAULTED PLEASE! (the vending machine gets knocked out and lands onto the road where Heavy is driving on. Heavy stops singing when he spots it.)
Heavy: Shit! (He screams when he turns the truck around but it bumps into a building. He exits the truck when Mario turns around.)
Heavy: Never, make me angry. (the camera zooms into Heavy's broken face.) It costs $400,000.
Mario: How about a nice game of I DONT GIVE A SHIT! (Heavy grabs his throat and lifts him up.)
Heavy: I promise you, pain without end. Ooh! (He noticed that he is wearing a red hat, which means he is from the RED team.) You, stupid! Come help defend!
Mario: What? I'm not part of your stupid "red" team thing! (This makes Heavy extremely angry and his face gets expanded.)
Mario: Aah! Fine! (Heavy does a creepy smile.)
Heavy: Yes! (He throws Mario into the truck and drives off with him while he sings.)
Heavy: Come sing with me!
Mario: Mamma Mia... (The "If Mario Was In TF2" intro plays while Heavy is dancing to the song "Space Jam" by Quad City DJ's.)
(The blooper continues with Heavy driving in the truck while he sings and Mario was screaming. The truck tips the "Badlands" sign over before they enter a tunnel.)
Heavy: What's the matter with you!? (the scene cuts to the Badlands where Heavy parks the truck on the fence.) Dah, this will work. (Cut to the "2Fort" map when Heavy is still singing.)
Heavy: Let us begin!
Mario: Wah! (The "TF2 Theme" song plays when they both saw the Red team and Blu team fighting on the bridge. A Red Spy with a creepy face was laughing on a dead Blu Medic. A Red Demoman was singing while he is doing the Kazotsky Kick before he blows up from a rocket.)
Heavy(while lauging and dancing): We are killers! (Mario watches in awe when the Demoman's head lands near him. Mario stares at him.)
Demoman Head(smiling): I'm goin 2 lik ya.
Mario: Oooh. (he passes out before he is respawned in the respawn area.) Mamma Mia. (He walks to the Red Engineer (who is building a dispenser) and the Red Soldier.)
Red Soldier: U there! U will give me dat hat! (Mario screams and ran away from him and walks backwards before being bumped by a Red Pyro from behind.)
Mario(looks back): Hmmm? (The Red Pyro dances when muffling, and Mario screams again before being bumped into a wall.)
Shy Guy: Yeah toast! (Mario goes to the weapons supply.)
Mario: Oh yes! That's a so nice! (Heavy with an angry face appears in front of him.)
Heavy: NO!
Mario: Mamma Mia!
Heavy: Your gun's for babies! (He gives Mario a Nerf gun. Heavy smiles when he gives a thumbs up.) Very good!
Administrator(offscreen): Alert! The enemy have taken our intellegence!
Heavy: DAH! Oh this is bad!
(Cut to a Blu Scout with a big smiling mouth collecting the Red briefcase.)
Blu Scout: Woohoohoohoooo! (He runs away.) Woosh!
(Cut to Mario running with Heavy while he does a battle cry.)
Mario: Mamma miaaaaa! (They both cornered the Blu Scout.) Mario get you next time!
Blu Scout: Ah crap.
Heavy: U R DED.
Blu Scout: Oh god it's happening! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...(while firing a scattergun at Heavy who is cowering behind his minigun.)
Heavy: Oh noooo! Help me!
Mario: Aaaaah! Aaaaah! (He smiles.) Here we go! (He flies to the gas tank but he said 'NOPE' and he instead goes to the sandvich on the table. He eats it while the smiling Blu Scout comes close to him.)
Blu Scout: Oh what's up?
Mario: Oohohoho! I gotcha! (He fires a nerf gun at his face but it wasn't effective. The Blu Scout kills him with his scattergun.)
(Cut to the respawn area where Mario respawns again and Heavy was angry at him.)
Mario: Mamaf**ker! (The Blu Scout with the briefcase does the Kazotsky Kick when he leaves the Red base.)
Heavy(offscreen): YAAAAAAAAAAA! HELP NOW!
Red Soldier/XX360HATMASTAXX(while Mario crawls past him): I want dat hat! U will give me dat hat!
Mario: Mamma Mia... (he spots the Blu Engineer building a dispenser, and a Blu Scout with the Red briefcase near him.)
Blu Scout: Need a dispenser here! Need a dispenser here! Need a dispenser here! Need a dispenser here!
Mario: Yahooohaha! Imma gonna get you! (he throw a mushroom at him.) Watch out!
Blu Scout: Need a dispenser here! (the mushroom causes his head to shrink really small.)
Blu Scout(spazzing out, while flying to the sky): I AM AN INVINCIBLE UNICOOOOOO(Mario: Here we go!)OOOOOOOOORN!!!!! (explodes)
Mario: Yeh! Hahaha! (he runs to the briefcase but was interrupted by the Red Soldier.)
Red Soldier: I will give u green paint, and a name tag for dat hat!
Mario: Mamaf**ker, no! (Red Demoman appears.)
Red Demoman: Oi! I want dat hat!
Red Soldier: Get your black scottish drunk ass outta here!
Red Demoman(to Mario): Listen little boi, I can offer you this hat (pulls out a Dunce hat) right here!
Red Soldier: DAT HAT IS A PIECE OF SHIT! (Demoman fires some grenades at him while he screams, and the Soldier fires his rocket launcher at him while he also screams.