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Meggy... Mario isn't very good at expressing himself... In fact, Mario isn't very good at anything. But one thing I'm certain of is... Mario will always have your back. No matter what.

—Mario to Meggy to console her during Desti's funeral at the end of the Anime Arc, SMG4: Final Hours

𝓟𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓪𝓼.

—Mario, repeated quote

Mario Mario is the central character and one of the two main protagonists (alongside SMG4) of the SMG4 series. He served as the main protagonist of Seasons 1 and 2 before he shared the role with SMG4 in the later seasons. He serves as one of the three main protagonists of The Waluigi Arc (alongside SMG4 and Wario) and as the main protagonist of The YouTube Arc.

He is an Italian plumber originating from Nintendo's Super Mario franchise, the older brother of Luigi, the designated hero (a loose term) of the Mushroom Kingdom, the former archenemy of Bowser, the lover(?) of Princess Peach, and the co-leader of SMG4's Gang. He sometimes refers to himself as Mario the Sexy Plumber. He was also briefly the acting King of the Mushroom Kingdom, before changing the country into the Republic of Mario Land, making himself the Supreme Leader in SMG4: Mario The Supreme Leader.

In SMG4's videos, as opposed to his selfless heroic portrayal from the Nintendo canon, Mario is portrayed as an immensely dumb, narcissistic, and troublemaking ass befitting the comedic nature of the series. His annoying and stupid behavior often antagonizes and ruins people's lives. Yet when things are at their absolute worst, he's capable of even an ounce of selflessness and compassion, especially at Desti's funeral at the end of the Anime Arc. He cares very deeply about his friends as he was horrified when they got banished to the Internet Graveyard and was relieved when he realized they were alive.

There are many variations of Mario from various different dimensions and locations.

In the Nintendo canon

Mario's debut in the Nintendo canon was on the 1981 arcade game Donkey Kong, where he (then known as Jumpman) had to rescue his girlfriend from the clutches of the titular ape. He next appeared in 1982's Donkey Kong Jr. as the main antagonist and 1983's Mario Bros., which introduced his little brother Luigi. Mario Bros. had the two siblings cleaning the sewers of New York from monsters, including Koopa Troopas.

In 1985's world-famous Super Mario Bros., set sometime after Mario Bros., Mario found himself in the bizarre land known as the Mushroom Kingdom (which he was revealed to been born in and lived on for a few years in the Yoshi series), where he was tasked with rescuing Princess Peach from the clutches of Bowser. The game was a strong critical and commercial success, granting worldwide fame to all characters who appeared in it, Mario himself included. 

As the mascot of Nintendo, Mario is arguably the greatest videogame character and overall one of the greatest characters in fiction.

Biography

Mario's origin in the SMG4 universe is convoluted and thus virtually unknown, due to contradictory information. According to how Mario was born, Mario was born out of a cosmic event and crashed in Nintendo's headquarters. While on a playground, he reproduced (due to a problem in his genetic makeup) and gave birth to Luigi (which would make him Luigi's birthparent). After taking refuge in a dumpster, SMG4 found the two brothers and offered them jobs. Mario himself debunked this story, as the book detailing this was written by some hobo.

In The (TOTALLY ACCURATE) Documentary of Mario, his origin was retconned, and it was revealed that he was born in 1928 in Italy (though this might be a joke since if Mario was born at that time, he would be 91 years old today). However, his unknown father was apparently disgusted at Mario's appearance and tried to kill him with a combat knife to "prevent him from laying eggs." This incident was accidentally photographed by either his mother or a doctor for his celebration card, where he was mistaken for a girl. Instead of being happy though, his parents abandoned him on an alley (it was possible that it was the father's idea and the mother was reluctant) and sped off, accidentally crashing and dying. As a result, Mario grew up without any parental love, resulting in his stupidity and selfishness.

2 years later, Mario was found and taken to an orphanage where he met Luigi and formed a bond with him. (though Mario would occasionally mistreat him) When Mario and Luigi attended high school, Mario wasn't much of a great student but was nevertheless popular at the time. He, however, had a tendency to dance in the shower and it was also here where his spaghetti addiction started. At some point, he started taking drugs. These led to horrible consequences, however, and Mario started acting completely insane and weird, such as trashing an office and speaking in German despite being Italian, spooking his classmates on a pool, dancing on the roof, and finally burning the school down to the ground, much to the principal Larry Fattman's frustration and resulted in him hating the man forever. As a result, Mario's reputation hit rock bottom, and it would take 2 to 3 years before he recovered.

Afterward, Mario and Luigi searched for a job and joined The Plumber Academy for Idiots, and though Mario did not graduate (as he apparently must have missed 3 years of class), he still got the job. Some years later, he was called by Princess Peach Toadstool to help clean up her castle (or, as she puts it, "clean her shit"). There he met Bowser for the first time and traumatized the Koopa King by making him drop his sandwich. Ever since then, Mario visited the castle more often (though his stupid antics resulted in Toad - who initially liked him - to hate him and everyone else in the castle, turning the once-happy mushroom into the grumpy midget he is today). At some point, he also became Nintendo's mascot, but due to rumors about him taking drugs again, he was fired but retained his mascot status. 

What can be proven is that he's a native of the Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi is his brother, and he was and still is the mascot of Nintendo, and more or less the kingdom's hero.

Appearance

Mario wears a long-sleeved red shirt, blue overalls with yellow buttons, brown shoes, and gloves. He has a red cap, brown hair, a black mustache, and blue eyes. He is shorter than his younger brother Luigi.


Personality

There are only three things that tub of flub cares about. One: Spaghetti. Two: himself. And three: being naked. See, he's over there doing it right now.

—Toad's opinion on Mario, from SM64: Meet the Mario.

Hey, I'm not retarded! I'm just dumb!

—Mario admitting he is intellectually disabled, from If Mario was in... Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time

When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore!

—Mario singing, from SMG4: Mad Mario
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Mario can lapses into periods of outright intellectual disability. To signal these periods, his eyes cross outward.

In Nintendo canon, Mario is a friendly plumber who helps anyone in need, devotes most of his time to rescuing the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, and participates in sports matches, kart races, and "parties" often. In the SMG4 universe, however, Mario is a completely different person. While still being courageous and having a heroic status, Mario in this universe is more of a lazy, mischievous, foul-mouthed, reckless, and occasionally selfish fool. He cares mostly about only himself and his favorite dish spaghetti, which he is addicted to and refers to it as his girlfriend or wife, and would trade anything (including SMG4's YouTube account) for it. This addiction went so far that he actually stole spaghetti from other people and never shares it with anyone (except for Meggy in a rare instance). In fact, the mere thought of losing spaghetti will either drive him insane, make him cry in frustration, and even commit suicide. Mario's extreme laziness has made him a hater of socializing (though it was temporary) and exercising. He also refuses to help his friends, family, other people, or possibly even the whole world, even in life-or-world-threatening situations. Mario is also a rather cruel prankster, as shown in SMG4: The Demon Among Us where he ruthlessly pranked Shroomy in a flashback. He doesn't appear to be as brave as his Nintendo counterpart, sometimes trying to back down from fights. He appears to suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder (which makes him incapable of listening or focusing on the task at hand), Down Syndrome (related to his stupidity), Intermittent Explosive Disorder, and Bipolar Disorder (both of which are related to his extremely short temper).
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Mario thinking (or at the very least, trying to).

Mario is also very disrespectful and disobedient. He constantly does things that other people tell him not to (such as touching the painting leading to the bootleg world in SM64: THE BOOTLEG DIMENSION) which causes problems for his friends and sometimes the world. According to a poster in Mario and the SECRET CLUB, He always eats all the food in the castle and never takes a bath when asked, further showing his disrespectful ways. He is also very short-tempered, capable of getting annoyed easily, and always lashes out at people (including his own brother Luigi) when he reaches his breaking point. Mario is also a sore loser, and can be very demanding and also spoiled.
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Mario giving the middle finger to a Bob-omb, showcasing his rude behavior.

His biggest flaw though is his IMMENSE stupidity and lack of common sense. Though not as dull-witted as the likes of Frankie, Mario apparently did not know what was 1+1 (which caused him to become a borderline moron) or any number past 10 (aside from 1 million) until Baldi taught him math and had also forgotten how to type or how to count despite having been able to do so in earlier episodes. This idiocy annoyed his friends (except for Meggy, who finds it incredibly hilarious), especially SMG4 and Toad, and they often mocked or berated him for his foolish decisions. As a result, he ruined the Grand Mario Hotel, bankrupted Nintendo by using its money to buy food, ruined Gabe Newell's life, created some of the gang's worst enemies, such as Roprinplup14, and even drove people to the edge of insanity (it is also shown in Plumber Academy for Idiots that he skipped 3 years of plumbing school and missed Kindergarten, forcing him to take them both all over again). Mario though refuses to admit being stupid and claimed to have an IQ of 200. On the contrary, he sometimes uses his to his advantage and there were moments where he was greatly intelligent and logical, the biggest example being in Stupid Mario Stupid Show, where he correctly theorized that SMG4 went insane to try and get millions of viewers.

It is unknown how exactly dumb Mario is, and any explanation shown is very absurd and ridiculous. According to his driver's license, his "how-retarded-meter" shows that he "broke" it. In Portal M4R10 - If Mario was in... Portal, GLaDOS, when analyzing him, stated his IQ was over the negative (-), which is probably another joke (since if Mario was really that dumb, he would probably not know how to speak). 

Underneath his laziness and retardation though, Mario does indeed care about his friends and family, seeing as how he time-traveled to prevent himself from accidentally killing his brother Luigi during a kart race, comforted Meggy when she first lost the Splatfest and was in utter distress when both of them were turned into T-Pose Zombies during the Waluigi arc. During the Anime Arc, he was extremely desperate to find and save Meggy when she was abducted by Mario's former Anime Cartel boss Francis to extract her ink. At the end of the arc, Mario reveals that he is self-aware that his life has spiraled out of control, but nonetheless, he still cares about his friends. In the Youtube Arc, his closest friends were erased by SMG3, leaving the red plumber horrified, distraught, and alone.

In Seasons 4 and 5, he was portrayed as far more competent and likable than his earlier and later appearances.

In Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Smart(ass) Mario and SMG4: Smart Mario, both of which had Mario becoming smart, he displayed a different personality. In the former, he unintentionally mistreats everyone in the castle due to him forgetting their identities, and even lost his love for spaghetti. In the latter, Mario uses his intelligence to help his friends with their problems. However, his spaghetti addiction still remained, and eventually began to hate his friends for treating him like junk for his former idiocy, which resulted in him trying to steal all the spaghetti in the world. At the end of the episode, he begged the others not to turn him into his old dumb self, believing he would lose any meaning to life.

In SMG4 Christmas 2019: Mario Alone, he was shown to go through a deep depression whenever he feels lonely, to the point where he made crude dolls of his friends to feel better.

Mario is shown to go mad with power, as seen in SMG4: Mario The Supreme Leader where he turns the Mushroom Kingdom Government into a fascist government, which cost the lives of many citizens.

The cruelest side of him is shown in SMG4: Mario Gets【Woke】 when he acquires the YouTube Remote that Susan Wojcicki dropped. Mario completely abuses the device on everyone; friends, family citizens, all without regretting what happened to them, (including getting an electric eel biting Luigi's crotch and sending Axol into another dimension which he then quipped that "nothing of value was lost"). Even after the remote breaks, causing time to stop, Mario continued to torture characters like they were playthings.

A more kind and, rather unexpected, loyal side of Mario is shown in SMG4: If Mario was in... Fall Guys, when Mario beat Ernie to the crown and returned it to his brother Bert, the rightful ruler of the Fall Guys Kingdom, and hailed him as king, rather than giving it to Peach, who wanted the crown for her own selfish reasons. Mario could have easily used the crown for himself, as with it on, he was able to command many Fall Guys to attack Ernie, but did the right thing in the end.

Criminal Record

Throughout his misadventures, Mario has often broken the law in some episodes, either accidentally, out of sheer stupidity, or for a good reason. His latest criminal record is tax evasion.

NOTE: Not necessarily in chronological order.

  • Assault and Murder: Due to his short temper, Mario has assaulted and killed many people when they annoyed him, the most recent example being in SMG4: Mario Gets Stuck On An Island, where he assaulted and threw an airline pilot out of a plane for insulting him.
  • Torture: In R64: We're going on a Luigi hunt, Mario tortured Luigi ruthlessly with a trash-talking parrot and a pole-dancing chicken due to the latter owing him money, but not paying it. He also forced his friends (including Toad, who wasn’t his friend) to participate in Jackass stunts in SMG4: The Mario Channel - Mario's Jackass.
  • Animal Theft and Abuse: In SMG4: Mario Preschool, Mario stole animals from a farm to teach preschoolers about what sounds animals make, and kicked a cow. More recently, he is infamous for throwing baby penguins off cliffs and kicking JubJub Boopkins for nothing more than cruelty and amusement. He also killed Mufasa.
  • Accidental Bank Robbery: In Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Party Rock Prisoners, a drunk Mario accidentally stole money from the bank.
  • Using Confiscated Things and Hijacking: After spaghetti was banned from the Mushroom Kingdom in Spaghetti Law, Mario and SMG4 tried to bring it back by hijacking a truck filled with the dish. He also used an anime paraphernalia to keep the A.S.S. Agents off of him in SMG4: Mario's Illegal Operation.
  • Destroying Companies: While showing a Big Chungus how to make good video games in SMG4: Mario's Big Chungus Hunt, Mario proceeded to dismantle Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony, the three biggest video game companies, by killing Shigeru Miyamoto and Master Hand, shooting down Microsoft HQ, and slapping all of Sony's employees and security guards, all as an example.
  • Public Nudity: Mario has stripped down in public many times. One such case was in Mario Simulator Interactive if the player chose to have him persuade the cop. It is also implied in R64: A Theatre Mario, that he is a prostitute, someone who engages in sexual activities for payment (yes, it's true, it's all said in his membership card).
  • Framing: Mario constantly frames people (mainly Luigi) for things that he does just to save his own skin from a beatdown. An example was in a flashback to SMG4: Detective Mario & Pikachu, where he framed SMG4 for murder and made up a terrible excuse that he did it for winning a Super Smash Bros. match (he later used the same excuse at the end of the video when interrogated by Detective Pikachu as to why he stole Bowser's statue, causing the latter to throw him in lava and burn him alive in retribution).
  • Reckless Driving: Mario sometimes is very bad at driving, which leads to him accidentally causing chaos and killing people. The most recent example was in SMG4: Mario's Prison Escape, where he ran over and possibly killed a citizen with his kart.
  • Sexual Harassment: Mario sexually harassed everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom by touching their butts in The Mario Channel: MARIOBUSTERS. This aggravated SMG4 and many others to no end. He also threatened for Playtime, who is a minor, to "suck [his] pingas" in SMG4: If Mario was in... Baldi's Basics.
  • Rampaging: In SMG4: Super Challenge 64, Mario had a challenge where he had to walk backwards for 24 hours. While he did the challenge though, he unknowingly destroyed everything behind him and endangered people, which led to the police assuming him insane and trying to arrest him. In the end, the entire military is called to kill him, and they end up nuking Mushroom City.
  • Kidnapping: In SMG4: The Mario Café, Mario stole Yoshi's daughter without a second thought. He also did this to SMG4 in SMG4: Mario's Illegal Operation.
  • Illegal Smuggling: In SMG4: Mario's Illegal Operation, Mario, along with Fishy Boopkins, became the newest member of the Anime Cartel, a criminal organization that smuggles anime into the Mushroom Kingdom after its banning. After Peach lifted the ban, Mario's charges were probably dropped.
  • Speeding and Resisting Arrest: In Mario Simulator Interactive, Mario can choose to ride a kart in order to catch up to Bowser, but ends up going so fast that a cop pulled him over and prepared to arrest him. The player then can choose to have him continue driving, but if he/she ends up making him stop, the cop will arrest him.
  • Threatening: On some occasions, Mario threatens to hurt people if they don't do what he says. The most infamous case was in Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Youtube Mario? where he threatened to murder SMG4's family if the latter did not give him a shout-out on YouTube. The most recent example was in SMG4: Mario Waits in Line For Some Spaghetti where he threatened to blow up the Slowpoke in charge of bank withdrawal if the latter did not give him his spaghetti (the Slowpoke initially refused to give it when Mario gave him a fake card).
  • Trespassing: In SMG4: Mario's Dangerous Delivery and SMG4: Mario School Club, Mario trespassed into a police station and a school respectively, to do a specific action (in the former, he attempted to break Frankie out of jail due to Frankie being accused of orchestrating a car crash, and in the latter, he and the gang attempted different clubs).
  • Tax Fraud: In SMG4: Mario Commits Tax Fraud, Mario, not knowing how to pay taxes, committed fraud by writing down in the tax paper that he and Luigi made one coin. This made Mr. Hall Monitor break into the Mario Bros.'s house and arrest him. His charges were dropped for helping Mr. Monitor taking down the Grand Council of Tax Fraud.
  • Child Abuse: In SMG4: If Mario was in... Baldi's Basics, he threw Playtime at a trash can. There was also a running gag in SMG4: The E G G that involved Mario yelling the phrase "KICK THE BABY!" before kicking JubJub with extreme force.
  • Arson: In the (TOTALLY ACCURATE) Documentary of Mario, he burned down the whole school to the ground due to how he was acting insane.

Antagonistic Roles

Mario has done some villainous acts that affect one or more of the everybody, including SMG4, mostly due to his stupidity and sometimes his malicious desire. This is a list of bloopers where he plays an antagonistic role:

  • In R64: Mario for Hire., Mario was uncontrollably flying down the track when he accidentally hit a Guy who was warning Little Billy (Baby Mario) to not play in the street because it was dangerous. He also swerved and hit the old lady anyway. Then he crashed into Bowser's car and pinned the blame on Luigi. Later at night, Mario tried to hijack the car but was caught by a policeman. As he entered the mall, he humped the kart and later didn't have any money to pay for the kart. Later that day, Mario set up a stand that sold genuine princess-worn clothes but got caught by Peach Toadstool. Mario then unclogged his toilet using a Bob-omb, causing the bomb to explodes, sending the trainer hurdling off the toilet. During his job at a cafe, he humped Samus for some money, but got caught. Later when he worked at a business, he stole Heavy Weapons Guy's sandwich and pinned the blame on Luigi again. During jail time, he sold Toad to a carnival and got his money. In the end, Luigi pinned the blame on Mario as an act of revenge.
  • In SM64: Meet the Luigi, he mercilessly chased Luigi for saying his name. During Mario's interview about Luigi, he proclaimed Luigi's orientation was all there was to him. Mario was still unsympathetic towards Luigi, as the latter was being creepy a lot, as Mario might have attested. Mario then tried promoting Luigi's reliability only to get interrupted by Professor E. Gadd, who went on blabbing about Luigi's nose getting stuck in the Poltergust. Mario then whacked the Professor away.
  • In R64: Revenge of Freddy's Spaghettria, Mario took Luigi to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza with him as a sacrifice, against his will. Luigi wanted no part of this but Mario revealed that he completely chained up his door, preventing him from escaping, much to his dismay. When they were at the Spaghetteria, Mario got a Bonnie Head and used it to scare Luigi for no reason. When Springtrap tried to catch Mario and Luigi, Mario tripped while Luigi left him behind, causing him to get caught by Springtrap. As Animatronic Mario, he tried to kill Luigi but was stopped by him after he managed to break down the spaghetti.exe program that Purple Man programmed into him.
  • In R64: The Spaghettipocalypse, Mario created bankruptcy of all the spaghetti factory in the Mushroom Kingdom since he did not pay at all prior to the blooper. One week later, Mario threw a temper tantrum after he ran out of Spaghetti because of the previous event and blamed it on Luigi for what happened, which caused him to call the police to exterminate him. Later, Mario went on a rampage throughout the Mushroom Kingdom until he got to Professor E. Gadd's lab to terrorize Toadsworth, Luigi, and E. Gadd. After he got hit by Toadsworth with his crowbar, he poured the bottle of magic stuff into the last bit of his spaghetti, causing the spaghetti to grow into a Flying Spaghetti Monster. When the monster started to attack the Mushroom Kingdom, he didn't care if the monster was attacking the city and started eating the spaghetti. When Luigi thought about Mario ruling the world, Mario became a tyrant and summoned more spaghetti. After Luigi landed on the monster, he gave Mario a Star to get him to eat the monster rapidly, ending the disaster.
  • In R64: We're going on a Luigi hunt, Mario tried to hunt for Luigi after he ran over his "girlfriend", Spaghetti, so he decided to get revenge on him by taking away his money, even though Luigi don't have money yet. After Mario kidnapped Luigi, he tortured him by using a foul-mouthed parrot and and a pole-dancing chicken instead of killing him. However, SMG4 brought new spaghetti for him to stop him from tormenting Luigi.
  • In R64: Mario The Waiter, Mario stole a portion of food from Wario and pinned the blame on Luigi, which caused Gabe Newell to get Mario to fill in for him. First, he was being rude to Frankie. Second, he put a fake cutout form of him and placed it next to Big Smoke. Third, he destroyed the kitchen. Fourth, he served Squidward to Toad and Toadette. Then finally, he served Heavy Weapons Guy a vegan sandwich, which caused chaos in the restaurant. When he threatened Mario to bring the Spaghetti to SMG4, he ate the food and knocked SMG4 over, causing Gabe to chase him. After the restaurant was destroyed, Gabe sent Mario and Luigi to the poster of his face.
  • In SMG4: Super BACKWARDS Bros, Mario played a reversal role as Bowser and kidnapped Princess Bowser, who was played as Peach Toadstool, but his plan was foiled by Peach, whom she played as Mario, along with Toad, whom he played as Luigi.
  • In SMG4: The Mario Channel - Mario's Jackass, Mario forced his friends (including his brother) to participate in crazy and dangerous stunts. For example, he sent Fishy Boopkins flying with a slingshot, which resulted in him crashing into a plane, which itself crashed into E. Gadd's worskhop. Unfortunately for Mario, his friends would plot their revenge on him and succeed.
  • In SMG4: Mario's Fancy Dinner, Mario arrived at the restaurant and wanted to order some spaghetti, but Jeeves tried to get rid of him and Mario refused. This caused Jeeves to chase Mario until he spilled the wine on Jeeves' waiter uniform. After he was appointed by Jeeves as his temporary replacement, Mario ruined the dinner between Donkey Kong and Pauline, but Jeeves did his best to save the date.
  • In SMG4: Mario's Big Chungus Hunt, Mario hunt down the Big Chungus for stealing his Spaghetti. After he was confronted by the other Chunguses, Judge Chungus sentenced him by getting Grand Chungus to execute him. Meggy then saves Mario by appealing to the Chunguses that Mario can benefit them by making a game about them, which will provide them with large-scale financial income. Mario destroyed the Nintendo, Microsoft, and finally Sony HQ to make all of the Chungus game. At the end of the episode, the game got published and made Mario rich like a king. But then in a karma-like fashion, the Grand Chungus thanked Mario for his deeds and kicked him out of the Chungus' company, bringing him back to where he started before he began building the Chungus Species's game company.
  • In SMG4: Mario Gets Stuck On An Island, Mario was harassing the pilot of the Ryanair flight he was on that he was hungry, but the pilot did not care at all. Angry, the plumber proceeded to throw him out the cockpit window and walked away as the plane crashed, presumably killing all the passengers. In the end, Mario asked the pilot when was the next meal, but the pilot told him instead to shut up, and thus, Mario got angry and presumably ended up repeating the loop by throwing away the pilot offscreen.
  • SMG4: Smart Mario has Professor E. Gadd give him intelligence upon his friends' insistence. However, the intelligence causes Mario to act much more selfish than before, and he creates a machine to steal all the spaghetti in the kingdom with his recently-gifted intelligence. He then attacked the kingdom with a robot until Bob was given intelligence by the same machine and put an end to Mario's rampage.
  • In SMG4: Mario The Supreme Leader, Mario became king of the Mushroom Kingdom and he is able to solve many problems. The Toads saluted him, which then leads to Mario being more power-hungry than ever before. In one incident, the villagers went to the castle to protest about the rising taxes. King Mario then suggested to crackdown on the protestors, in which his Toad servants reluctantly had to carry out. Later, the Royal Guards came out of the castle, and against their will, shot at the innocent protestors and chased them away. A few weeks later, he turned the Mushroom Kingdom into a socialist constituional monarchy. He was finally stopped when Peach returned from her vacation and removed his power back to her.
  • SMG4: Mario Gets【Woke】 has Mario abusing the YouTube Remote on everyone by torturing them. When he accidentally froze the world in time, he treated everyone like playthings and was the cause of time-affected chaos. Fortunately, Susan Wojcicki caught on to him and pursuit him to teach him a lesson for messing with her remote.

Powers and Abilities

Like his mainstream counterpart, Mario has a multitude of strengths and powers.

Strengths

Although Mario's abilities and physical strength, throughout SMG4's episodes, greatly vary and are inconsistent, this is a list of abilities he has shown.

  • Superhuman strength: Mario is one of, if not the physically strongest SMG4 character in existence. Mario has been strong enough to punch and throw people from several feet away to miles away in the sky. This also includes striking people through doors, concrete walls, or other sorts of barriers or objects. He once, with a single punch, shattered a large window made of wire mesh glass in SM64 Bloopers: Luigi Labyrinth. He is able to casually lift and throw Bowser, who weighs over 1.428 tons. He casually uprooted the tree Meggy was building a treehouse on in SMG4: There's Something Up With Meggy... He also punched a pilot straight through the window and down to the ground in Super Happy Magical Fun Fun Island, and is even able to lift King Bob-omb (calculated to weigh 30 tons). He can also rip out a control panel of a train and even throw a weight-lift into the sky, taking out a commercial passenger-jet. After launching Fishy Boopkins in the sky, he ended up making a plane crash into E. Gadd's workshop. He's also supposed to have the same strength as his video game counterpart, who can lift and punt entire castles that weights at least 60 Million Tons, break thousands of bricks with his bare hands, throw a baseball so fast it ignites the air, lift a neutron star worth 750 Septillion tons and breaking asteroids easily. In Super Challenge 64, once his path of backward sprinting started, he could not be stopped. He rammed & destroyed oncoming vehicles, went straight through concrete walls, heavily destroying small buildings, and managed to easily trample Son Goku and Shaggy two of whom are presumably very powerful characters. He once defeated the Mario Head with a single jumping upwards fist strike, sending it into the clouds. (The Mario Head once destroyed the Earth by crashing into it.)
  • Superhuman Speed: Mario is usually very slow, but there are instances where he shows he had capability of superhuman speed. There are many instances throughout the series where Mario manages to run fast enough to keep up with or escape moving vehicles, such as in SMG4: Mario's Big Chungus Hunt, where he was outrunning a Tank before the tank's operator stopped him by firing an armor-piercing shell directly at him. Mario was able to outrun many police cruisers in a high-speed chase running backward in SMG4: Super Challenge 64. Mario's top speed is extremely vague and varies a lot from episode to another, but scaling him to the official canon portrait of him would make him the fastest character in existence, as he's shown to be massively faster than light at many occasions, and broke several times the barrier of time and speed itself, his Backwards Long Jump technique increases his speed drastically.
  • Superhuman Reflexes: There were many instances throughout the SMG4 series where he was able to dodge bullets. He once casually dodged shotgun rounds the instant they were inches away from landing on him. Scaling him to his video game counterpart makes him faster than any other character in the SMG4 Universe, as shown many times, including dodging lasers, piloting MFTL objects and reacting faster than time itself.
  • Superhuman Endurance: Over the years, Mario has survived nearly everything thrown at him, from falling from great heights, falling from orbit, gunfire, explosions (greatly ranging in magnitude), getting attacked by Bowser, getting crushed, physical blows from SMG4 (about as strong as him), to car & plane crashes, all barely fazed. He even survived being utterly beaten by a Super Saiyan 3 Steve and taking a direct hit from his Kamehameha. In SMG4: Mario and the Experiment, Mario was clinging to the face of Godzilla when Joe Boopkins threw a Jotaro-style flurry of punches onto Godzilla; Mario survived the pummeling while Godzilla was sent flying and dissipated from damage. It should be noted that Joe Boopkins is strong enough to obliterate a large pirate ship with one swing of his giant tentacle. In SMG4: Super Challenge 64 Mario is seemingly unhurt, and even unbothered after The Mushroom Kingdom Army/National Guard dropped a nuclear weapon right on top of him from a Stealth Bomber. He didn't seem to take notice that he was hit by a nuke point-blank, neither the destruction of the city around him after it; he was too busy celebrating winning a bet made by Meggy (He was challenged to run backward for a whole day). He has survived shots from miniguns, AK-47s, and .50 caliber sniper rifles with no visible injuries. It is unknown if his endurance is based of its canonical counterpart, as video game Mario survived the resetting and pressure of the entire universe at once, survived hits from multiversal beings and even tanked hits from Dreamy Bowser, who has theoretically unlimited power. Mario also has been shown to resist the lack of any potential dimension including time and space without being affected in any way SMG4: Mario Gets【Woke】, making him superior (faster, more durable and in a higher existence plane) than them, meaning he is potentially over the concepts of life and death, which could explain his absurd levels of durability. In S̶M̶G̶4̶: I Can't Believe It's Not SMG4!, Mario gets stabbed to the head by two swords and at the end of the episode he separated his head from his body without any kind of visible handicap. He has also survived decapitation multiple times.
  • Pyrokinesis: Much like his own games, he has shown the ability to manipulate fire.
  • Anaerobic Functioning: Mario is often seen in space or underwater without showing signs of needing oxygen. This trait is often shared with the older, retarded SMG4 characters. (While others haven't proven they can.)
  • Hand-to-hand skill: Although most of the time he is depicted as a coward, there are times he has displayed his true skill has proven himself to be a master at unarmed combat. Over the years he has been in many battles, winning most of them. He has his own unique style, with very fast and powerful punches and kicks and tackles. One of the best examples of this is his final fight with SMG4 at the end of Mario Battle Royale. These skills might be a reference to the many martial arts Mario demonstrated in many games, the most famous example being in the Super Smash Bros. series.
  • Agility: Despite his weight and shape, he has a great acrobatic capability. He also can greatly apply this to combat, as he can be very skillful when it comes to rapid, high jumps, flips, and tackles. A great example of this was the time he got locked into combat with Sans.
  • Giant-Size and Strength: In Ssenmodnar 10, Mario used a Mega Mushroom to grow into Mega Mario, a power-up form who is bigger, stronger and tougher than the base Mario.
  • Below-Zero Temperature Tolerance: During SnowTrapped, in a few clips, Mario is seen naked in the freezing cold a few times, without any adverse effects. He is also occasionally seen in space, which has a fatal temperature of -454.81, dressed casually in no protective garments, and still is not bothered by it.
  • Bilingualism: Mario is shown to be bilingual, speaking in fluent English and Italian (his mother tongue). His skill is displayed in SMG4: High School Mario, where he and Luigi were given an A+ grade by their Italian teacher. He can also apparently communicate by screaming as shown in SMG4: Mario VS Siren Head.
  • Rapping Skills: In the War of the Fat Italians series since 2015, as well as Supah Star Rap Battles of Epicness, Mario has demonstrated great rapping skills.
  • H4ck1ng Sk1llz: Despite normally being unintelligent, Mario was shown to be perfectly capable of hacking into computers in MarioTube 2. However, he needed to break into YouTube™ Headquarters in order to do so. In Portal M4R10 - If Mario was in... Portal, he managed to hack one of GLaDOS's security cameras, using a nearby computer, so that it would show Teletubbies instead of the camera's live feed.
  • Head Removal: Thanks to the humorous Laws of Cartoon Physics, Mario will sometimes lose his head and be totally fine in the next scene. On rare occasions, his body can function without his head attached. In SMG4: Mario and the Anime Challenge, Mario can be seen attempting to reattach it after it came off, possibly implying that his head is detachable like a LEGO® Minifigure.
  • Dancing: Mario is known to be skilled at dancing as shown in Stupid Mario Party as he can perform continuously at quickened pace that Luigi, Peach, and Yoshi are unable to memorize his movements and catch up with him.
  • Fat Powers: In SMG4: Mario And The T-Pose Virus, Mario could make himself even fatter at will. This made him even stronger, allowing him to break down doors and other furniture. 
  • Nude Bomb: In SMG4: Mario Gets Stuck On An Island, Mario was able to gather the nudes from not just himself but from "all the hoes and the bitches" into a Spirit Bomb type ball that was powerful enough to turn a pig to ashes.
  • CAPturing: Using Cappy, Mario can take control of other people, enemies or inanimate objects.
  • Master Sword Removal: Despite his negative traits and not proving his power, wisdom, and courage, Mario in If Mario was in... Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time proved worthy of drawing the Master Sword from its pedestal. This impressive feat, however, might be just attributed to his already absurd superhuman strength, the seal being near-impossible to remove would make Mario technically infinitely strong.
  • Clone Jutsu: In SMG4: Mario and the Anime Challenge, Mario has shown being capable of copying the Clone technique from the Naruto series.
  • Z Move: Italian ThunderFat: Mario is able to fly up to above the atmosphere, charge up his Z-Power, and deliver a ground smash powerful enough to leave the entire planet in ruins.

Weaknesses

Of course, Mario has weaknesses (though comparatively few compared with many characters):

  • Slow speed: Due to his high weight (at least 12,000 pounds which equal 7 tons), he is slow on his feet, as shown in 101 Ways for Mario to Die, The 1337 Police, and several other bloopers, though this isn't much of a flaw. However, he was recently shown to have superhuman speed.
  • Lack of common sense: Mario is one of the most stupid characters (if not the most stupid character) in the series, not even knowing what 1+1 is until Baldi taught him math. It is so far his biggest weakness, as it cost him quite a few battles, despite his strength. However, Mario sometimes does shows signs of intelligence in some episodes, with the biggest example being The Super Mario Stupid Show, which brings up the question if Mario pretends to be stupid and/or has an intelligent side. Despite Mario having insane abilities, including his ridiculous level of strength, he seems to never actually use it when circumstances require it, such as facing enemies/foes or getting out of a certain situation. This can also be tied to his cowardliness.
  • Impulsiveness: Mario has a tendency to run into danger without a strategy. This caused him to lose several lives in SM64 Bloopers: Can Ganondorf come out to play?, get bombed several times by SMG3's Painting in SMG3's Gauntlet of Gloom, and almost got him turned into a T-Pose Zombie in Mario and the Waluigi Apocalypse. This is a character trait not unique to him in terms of combat impulsiveness: Luigi on occasions runs into combat extremely recklessly when forced out of fear, or Meggy, who often overestimates her capability, as it once got her turned into a T-Pose Zombie.
  • Poor Cooking Skills: Mario has downright awful cooking skills, and whenever he turned an oven on, the oven would destroy the castle. In SMG4: Mario's Hell Kitchen, SMG4 didn't allow him to help because of it, and called him useless. Sometimes the occurrence of him failing to use an oven or machines is attributed to bad luck.

Super Saiyan Form

List of abilities Mario has whilst a Super Saiyan.

  • God-like Strength: While Mario is already on very vast levels of superhuman strength as a normal person, is can be assumed that his physical capability is massively amplified in Super Saiyan form. And in the events of SMG4: War Of The Fat Italians 2019, during an arm-wrestling challenge with SMG4, he would turn into a Super Saiyan 3, further enhancing his physical strength. Note that Mario's Super Sayan form abilities are scaled much more accurately with Mario's canon powers.
  • God-like Speed: While in the state of Super Saiyan, Mario is able to fly at incomprehensible speeds. In R64: Mario Simulator, he was able to fly from the Earth to the Sun in ~3 seconds. This means he clocked in the speed of around 111,552,000,000 mph (30,986,667 mi/second), approximately 170 times the speed of light. (The calculation of exact speed is an observation and should not be considered official by any means.)
  • God-Like Endurance: Mario has already survived many things that would should be absolutely impossible for a normal person to survive without an invincibility star, so going Super Saiyan would make him even more indestructible than he already is.

List of Jobs

Mario Facts from Super Mario 64 Bloopers: ṩṩἔᾗмὄḋᾗᾄʀ 5 (WAT O O edition)

These "facts" are displayed between skits in ṩṩἔᾗмὄḋᾗᾄʀ 5, according to SMG4. Many are disputable.

  1. Mario eats around 640,000 bowls of spaghetti each hour.
  2. Mario had his first kiss with a blonde looking hobo.
  3. Mario hit puberty when he was 30. (If this is true, this could confirm his age)
  4. Mario can fly with his magical cap.
  5. Mario farted over 13456 times in the castle.
  6. Mario hasn't proved left or right handed, meaning he's probably ambidextrous.
  7. Mario makes 1 coin per pipe he blows up or destroys.
  8. Luigi is actually Mario's sister. (This is a lie)
  9. Mario is actually Chinese, but changed to Italian.
  10. Mario's last name is "The Plumber".
  11. Princess Peach is Mario WAAAAAAAAHHH?!?!
  12. Mario's favorite color is Boobies..
  13. Mario's birthday is at 13/31/1942 or sumthin'.
  14. Mario's middle name is "Sexy".
  15. Mario has children and their names are Toad. (This is a lie)
  16. Mario has no teeth (This is a lie).
  17. Mario's overalls were created from dirt.
  18. Mario was going to star in Justin Bieber's music video, but got kicked due to destroying everything.
  19. Mario has no fingers. (Probably another lie)
  20. Everyone's eyes are blue. (This only applies to characters who are re-colored Mario 64 characters.)
  21. Everyone stole Mario's mustache style.
  22. Bowser hates Mario because he made him drop his sandwich!
  23. Mario wears contact lenses and panties.
  24. Mario's nose originally was a genetic mutation.
  25. Mario rates this video 0/10

Pokémans

Main article: Pokemans

Trivia

Crazy mario

When Mario's eyes go into derp mode, he starts to act incredibly retarded.

  • Mario has appeared in almost every blooper, with notable exceptions being The BattleToads Justice Crew, The Wacky Wario Bros.: Waluigi Origins, SMG4: The Japan Trip, SMG4: The Weegee Uprising, and most of the Guards N' Retards videos.
  • Mario is one of the four characters to appear in the very first video by SMG4 (The Cake is a Lie). The others are Peach, Lakitu, and Toad.
  • Mario has been shown to occasionally eat food from the dumpster.
  • Mario behaved much less spoonily in SMG4's 2011 bloopers. He was however shown to be far more retarded back then since according to SMG4, he didn't know any number past 10.
  • Mario thinks that the elderly are useless. For instance, in Who let the Chomp out?, Mario asks Toadsworth if the latter is going to throw his walking stick at the Chain Chomp to defeat it.
  • Mario has a YouTube channel called TheAwesomeMario, which currently has over 212k subscribers. From February 2018 onward, it is currently inactive.
  • Mario likes to jump off the castle roof.
  • When acting insane, Mario is able to fly without a Wing Cap.
  • Mario has had three heart attacks from eating spaghetti. He has also had a heart attack from eating hot dogs, requiring him to go to the hospital.
  • According to Super Mario 64 Shorts - Bob-omache, Mario was once abducted by Bob-omb Buddies but was regarded as a failed experiment and was dropped in front of Peach's Castle.
  • Mario is a border-line idiot at the Idiot Test.
  • Mario and Peach have had sex before. A few times, actually.
  • Mario (outside of the SMG4 universe) is classified as homo nintendonus. This is a fact that was revealed in 2014.
  • In Dreams, it is revealed Mario has a phobia of old people after his second dream.
  • The reason Luke Lerdwichagul made Mario a mentally retarded character like Homer Simpson from The Simpsons or Peter Griffin from Family Guy was that he felt that using a "normal" or "heroic" personality would be boring. Incidentally, SMG4, his author avatar, has that personality.
  • As revealed in The (TOTALLY ACCURATE) Documentary of Mario, the reason for his stupidity is because he took drugs.
  • Mario is a tiny bit transparent when the SM64 model is used, this can be found in Mario the Waiter after Luigi goes to cook Mario's burrito with spaghetti in it, with the Pyro from TF2 being slightly distinguishable.
  • Mario is confirmed to be heterosexual.
  • According to The (TOTALLY ACCURATE) Documentary of Mario, Mario was apparently born in 1928. Though this might be a joke/oversight (since if Mario really was born at that time, he would be 92 years old), it might be a reference to how some fans theorize that Mario is older than how he looks like, or if he ages slower than normal human beings, despite official (non-SMG4) material stating he is 24 years old.
  • Mario seems to enjoy playing Dark Souls 3.
  • As revealed in SMG4: Mario Waits in Line For Some Spaghetti, Mario has a bank account for spaghetti.
  • As revealed in SMG4: Mario vs IT 🤡, (one of) his worst nightmare(s) is broccoli.
  • In most episodes, Mario seems to own an iPhone, based on the iPhone 8.

Poll

Do you like Mario?
 
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The poll was created at 19:14 on June 17, 2020, and so far 280 people voted.


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