Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
(The book opens to show the house. SMG4’s pops out from the right window.]
SMG4: Hey out there! It’s me SMG4! Come on in Lads!
(SMG4 opens the door)
SMG4: I’m so glad you could make it! Mario! look who’s where!
(The paster lover slides onscreen but is not in his usual outfit, he now has a body of a blue dog and has a sad face.)
SMG4: Oh no! What’s wrong, Mario?
Mario: (he deflates and Inflates up down and bursts a waterfall of tears.) Mario’s spaghetti is missing…
SMG4: (Moving back and forth to the camera with a shocked expression as the Italian pup is still bawling his eyes out in the background.) Oh my gosh! That’s terrible! I wish there was something we could do to help…
(Behind SMG4, Mario first starts to deform very weirdly and then begins to retch uncontrollably and sneezes. What issues from his throat is a meatball that launches toward the camera, which has also made Mario launch offscreen.)
SMG4: Oh, of course! We can play Mario’s Mysteries to find your spaghetti! (The camera shifts to the left to the little blue Italian who is upside down and dazed from the force of the sneeze with 2 stars over his head.)
(Mario is immediately out of his daze and lets out a big gasp as yellow sunglasses appear on his face as he excitedly flattens and widens himself while vocalizing electronically.)
SMG4: (to the viewers.) We're gonna need your help! Will you help us find Mario’s spaghetti?
(No response.)
(All of a quick sudden, the boys joyful smiles turn to threatening glares. The background transforms into a very dark red, and leaving all objects behind a burning black. The furious clue finder pulls out a gun that’s looks like a Pewter 1873 45 Caliber Western Revolver and blasts the meatball that Mario retched up offscreen.)
SMG4: (Threateningly) You’re gonna help us… RIGHT?
(Now, the viewers voices are heard and are nervous.)
Viewers: Right, okay.
(The scene reverts back to normal as SMG4’s face quickly turns back into a happy face.)
SMG4: You will?! Great! Let’s go!
(He tosses the gun to side, because he is a dog now, the Italian’s eyes sparkle up and his dog instincts kicks in as he goes to fetches the weapon.)
Mario: Mine!, Mine!, Mine!
SMG4: Now remember, those Mystery Meatballs will be on the clues… Oh I almost forgot! You know what we need to play Mario’s Mysteries? Our handy-dandy…
Viewers: Smartphone!
SMG4: (Pulls out a grey smartphone.) Yep, that’s right! (Mario comes onscreen, eyes bulging and yelling excitedly from the sight of the cellular device.)
SMG4: (SMG4 slides to the left offscreen to the other side of the room.) Now, you might be wondering, why doesn’t Mario just go solve the mystery himself?
(The Italian mongrel gives off a goofy smile, turns crossed eyed and lets out a squeak.)
SMG4: That’s because he’s…
Viewers: Not smart!
(Mario’s face turns deeply offended.)
SMG4: R-Right! But, do you know what word we use to describe people who aren't smart?
Viewers: No.
SMG4: Oh, well, I'll put it in simple terms for you kids.
(The background changes into spinning flash and Mario’s head flattens with his eyes bulging out as SMG4 starts singing.)
SMG4: 🎵He’s a dumbass, dumbass!🎵
(Starts dancing and goes back to the living room.)
Mario: (offended) Hey!
(Dances to the living room where 4 Mystery Meatballs appear and are spinning in each corner.)
SMG4: 🎵We gotta find his stupid meatballs.🎵
(Comes up to the camera.) (annoyed.)🎵Whoop de frickin do, I’m sick of solving problems for this dumbass, dumbass! 🎵
(angry) One of these day… I’ll sneak attack and snap his Italian neck…neck…neck!🎵
(Tries to aim for Mario’s neck every time he says the word but the Italian man/dog catches him trying to do so each time as SMG4 dances away while Mario gives him a suspicious look.)
🎵But in the interim, I gotta put up with him, but one of these days…🎵
(Looks at Mario to make sure he doesn’t hear what he is about to murmur to the children.)
🎵I’m gonna put him down.🎵
(The face of Mario turns into shock and eyes bulge as he heard what the clue finder had said.)
Mario: That’s it, I’m outta here.
SMG4: Come on. Let's go see who ate my dumbass dog’s spaghetti.
(As Mario is trying to leave, SMG4 starts walking which makes the background follow him, causing Mario to pushed with it, making him tumble and slam open the fridge door.)
(SMG4 bends down to the fridge and gives a suspicious Hmmm, inside the fridge are 6 cupcakes, a boba drink, a copy of the 2006 game, Cooking with Mama and a Tides Pod container. Mario quickly comes onscreen and starts sniffing the food with his very large Pinocchio like nose.)
(Quick gag: his face turns into real life and starts crying. Gag ends, his face turns normal but with tears gushing out.)
SMG4: Hmmm…no spaghetti here, which means, (gasps) someone must have eaten your spaghetti!
(Quick gag: he turns into the Papa Bear from the Somebody touch-a my spaghet meme with his hat still in place, while Mario turns into the Dramatic Chipmunk meme.)
(All of a sudden, someone speaks offscreen but the voice instantly reveals who this is.)
Luigi: (from o.c.) Hey guys! Over here!
(Pull back on the end of this line to frame Luigi who has transformed into a meat mallet with his head on top.)
SMG4: Look! It’s Luigi the Meat Mallet!
(Mario comes into frame, eyes bulging and furious.)
Mario: I bet it was YOU that ate Mario's spaghetti!
Luigi: (confused) Wait what?
(Mario grabs Luigi by the mouth and starts shaking him around crazily, making him scream.)
Luigi: W-WAIT!! I NEED YOUR HELP!!
(SMG4 turns in to a GMOD player and smacks Mario away with a crowbar.)
SMG4: Get crowbarred B#$%H!
SMG4: Sorry about that, Luigi! (Picks up Luigi) How can we help you?
Luigi: I need help making red pasta sauce!
(Tilt down from the kitchen counter, we see Bob the Tomato, a carrot & Larry the Cucumber.)
Luigi: But I can’t figure out what ingredient to use…
SMG4: Hmmm…Red pasta sauce… How are we supposed to make that?
Kids: Use Luigi the Meat Mallet!!!
(Luigi’s eyes bulge out of horror from the response he heard.)
SMG4: You’re right, we can use the Luigi Meat Mallet to bash these ingredients… and figure out which one will make red!
(He picks up the kitchen appliance that’s fearing for its life and his face as it’s ready to take a brutal bashing.)
Luigi: No, what are you doing?! STOP!!!
(The clue finder brutally smashes the green vegetable to nothing but a puddle as Luigi screams in pain, making the other two veggies eyes bulge in horror upon seeing their friend being demolished.)
SMG4: Is this the right color?
Kids: No
(The carrot tries to flee away but SMG4 pins it down as it let’s out a loud scream as SMG4 pounds the orange root to a pulp faster this time, making Luigi scream again but in a higher pitch.)
SMG4: What about this one?
Kids: No.
(The tomato is the last victim on the counter, shaking with fear as it’s fate is getting ready to be sealed via Luigi.)
Luigi: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!
(Mario pops up onscreen to assist.)
Mario: Allow me.
(Mario now has Luigi in his mouth and finally slams the red fruit with great force, once again causing Luigi to scream but at the highest pitch possible and then spontaneously combusts.)
(After the explosion, tomato sauce has gotten all over the kitchen and Luigi’s face is completely deformed after the smashing.)
SMG4: How about this?
Kids: Yeah!
SMG4: Whew! What a workout! There you go Luigi, that’s how you make red sauce!
Luigi: Thanks for the tip…
(They both suddenly have shocked expressions on their faces as they look down. Mario spits out Luigi as they both yell excitedly. The reason is revealed when the camera cuts to floor. The first clue, AKA a Mystery Meatball shining in a puddle of tomato sauce.)
SMG4: (comes onscreen.) There it is! The first Mystery Meatball! The clue is…
Audience: The color red!
SMG4: Great work! You know what this means? It’s time to draw it in our handy-dandy…
Audience: Smart phone!
SMG4: (pulls out phone.) That’s right! (takes out a pen.)
(Close-up of the screen, he starts to draw a red line and starts scribbling crazily and then, a picture of a dead tomato appears.)
SMG4: Alright, first we draw a red line and then you just… There we go, that’s pretty good.
Chorus: (singing) TV time, TV time, TV time, TV time, TV time!
(Gasp!)
SMG4: Oh sh**, kids! It’s TV time!
(The two detectives fly in circle and dash back to the living room where they encounter, the one and only, Mr Puzzles.)
🎵 It’s TV time with your friend, Mr Puzzles! TV Time, take a break from your troubles! We’ll sit down, crisscross applesauce and go flipping through the channels to see what we come across! 🎵
(Mr. Puzzles puts on different shows until it shows SMG3, Tari, and Meggy in a void, screaming. SMG4 and Mario's smiles slowly fade as they watched, until Mr. Puzzles bangs on his own TV head and shows them dancing happily in a different background.)
Mr. Puzzles: Whoops. (laughs) That was a TV show for grown-ups. My sincerest. Here's the entire Bee Movie with bonus features!
(Mario and SMG4 have big eyes, bouncing up and down, and cheering while watching the movie fast-forward. The day changes to night, and the night changes to day. It now cuts back to the TV with the credits.)
SMG4: Thank you, Mr. Puzzles! I really needed to watch the entirety of the Bee Movie with bonus features!
Mr. Puzzles: You sure did! And as a reward for watching the entirety of the Bee Movie with bonus features, you get...
(A white ball appears and shows a pipe bomb.)
SMG4: (gasps) A pipe bomb!! Thanks, Mr. Puzzles! See you again soon!
(SMG4 and Mario walk off.)
Mr. Puzzles: Indeed!
(Mr. Puzzles makes a face for a split-second as the scene cuts to SMG4 and Mario walking to the bathroom.)
SMG4: Hmm. I wonder where we'll find the next clue.
(SMG4 sees Boopkins, who is sitting on the toilet.)
SMG4: Why, it's our pal, Boopkins! Hello, Boopkins! What are you up to?
Boopkins: I'm about to sing my faaaaaaavorite song about toilets! Mario, do you wanna sing along with me?
Mario: F*** yeah!
(Boopkins inhales and goes down the toilet and pops up and sings a remix of the Skibidi Toilet song while dancing with Mario joining in with him.)
Mario: Yahooo!
(SMG4, with a face used from one of the uncanny Mr. Incredible faces, throws a pipe bomb by the toilet as Boopkins' eyes buldge in shock and horror and Mario looks at it as its beeping.)
Mario: It's a pipe bomb! Yay!
(The pipe bomb explodes, destroying the toilet and killing Boopkins. We now see the second Mystery Meatball, AKA a pipe as the uncanny face falls off of SMG4, who sees it.)
SMG4: Look! The second clue!! It's a pipe! Time to record this in our handy dandy...
Viewers: Smartphone!
SMG4: (pulls out phone.) Right!
(Close-up of the screen, he starts to draw a line and starts scribbling crazily and then, a picture of a green pipe appears.)
SMG4: Alright, we're just going to just draw a line and then, do the rest, and there we go.
(It now shows SMG4.)
SMG4: Okay, that's two clues! Looks like we need to find one more to solve this mystery! Come on!
(SMG4 walks off. It now cuts to him and Mario walking in the bedroom until they smell something.)
SMG4: WHAT THE HELL! HEY! DOWN BOY!
(SMG4 knocks Mario's head off and is surprised to discover a painting.)
SMG4: Woah look Mario! Marinara sauce!
SMG4: I think I know where we're gonna find our last clue!
(Mario screams in excitement.)
SMG4: Bloo skido we can doo
(SMG4 & Mario goes into the painting.)
SMG4: Hey you made it!
(SMG4 looking at his different (live-action) self.)
SMG4: im lookin kinda thiccer all of a sudden
SMG4: Huh? What's that?
(SMG4 & Mario finds a body, and sniffing it, realizing that the Marinara sauce is blood.)
Mario: The marinara sauce was actually blood smg4!
SMG4: Oh! Interesting, that must mean...
(SMG4 realizing he & Mario are in a middle of a war.)
SMG4: Whoa! Mario look! We're in a middle of a war!!!
(Mario's expression changes to one of excitement as he finds himself in the midst of a war.)
SMG4: Well that clue's gotta be somewhere around here! Let's go find it guys!
(SMG4 & Mario walking, until...)
Meggy: HEY! WATCH IT!
SMG4: What was that? Was it... You?
Meggy: Down here!
(SMG4 looks down and finds Meggy the Landmine.)
SMG4: Well would you looky here! It's our friend, Meggy the landmine!
SMG4: Sorry I almost stepped on your head! We're looking for a meatball.
Meggy: Well, why didn't you say so sooner?
Meggy: There's a meatball in that tower over there!
(Camera cuts to Shroomy in a tower with a sniper and has a meatball on his head.)
SMG4: There it is!
SMG4: Thanks Meggy!
SMG4: We're gonna go now!
Meggy: WAIT!
Meggy: You might need this!
(Meggy pukes out rocket launcher & SMG4 grabs it.)
SMG4: Mario...You know what im thinking?
SMG4: It's time to sing the rocket song!
🎵 We're gonna shoot this rocket! We're gonna shoot the rocket! We're gonna shoot this rocket! I wonder who we'll shoot?🎵
(SMG4 shoots Shroomy and finds the last meatball with a sudden expression.)
SMG4: We found the last clue!
SMG4: We found it! It's the mushroom! You know what this means!
SMG4: It's time to draw on our handy dandy...
Viewers: INCOMING!
SMG4: Incoming? What do you mean incoming?
SMG4: It's a phone!
(Mario & SMG4 sees a rocket incoming for them.)
SMG4: OH SH** UUHH LEMME DRAW THIS REAL QUICK
(Close-up of the screen, he starts to scribble crazily and then, a picture of a mushroom appears.)
(SMG4 escapes out of the painting, and Mario tries to get out on time but got hit by the rocket, though he got out.)
SMG4: Phew! That was a close one! But it was all worth it! Because...
SMG4: WE HAVE ALL THREE CLUES!
(Mario gets excited.)
SMG4: You know what that means! It's time forrrr
Viewers: The thinking couch!
SMG4: Yep! The thinking couch!
SMG4: Time to go solve this mystery once and for all!
(SMG4 & Mario goes to the thinking couch.)
SMG4: Let's see... Our clues are...
SMG4: The color Red.. A green pipe, and a mushroom...
(Mario drools of seeing a poorly drawn mushroom)
SMG4: So, the person who ate Mario's spaghetti...
(Mario eats the poorly drawn Mushroom.)
Mario: MMMM! poorly drawn mushroom! (cant see the text below, assuming that it says "that was so delicious!")
SMG4: Mario you just ate the mushroom (clue)!
(SMG4 suddenly realizes)
SMG4: Wait a minute... Mario...
SMG4: You eat mushrooms... You use green pipes...
SMG4: YOU WEAR RED?!
SMG4: Were you the one who ate your spaghetti!?
Mario: AH SH**! HE FIGURED IT OUT!!
(SMG4 angrily grabs Mario, and breaks his phone.)
SMG4: YOU made me play Mario's Mysteries... live through war... JUST to come to the most OBVIOUS CONCLUSION POSSIBLE?!
Mario: yeh.
(SMG4 gets really frustrated at Mario.)
SMG4: Well guys, I think we had a lot of fun today, I think we should finish off with one last song!
(SMG4 pulls out a rocket launcher & Mario gets scared of he is going to do.)
SMG4: THE LET'S KILL MARIO SONG!
(Mario is screwed.)
🎵We did it! We found the clues! What do we do? IT'S TIME TO KILL MARIO! With Luigi the Meat Mallet, Meggy the Landmine! With all these friends, we're gonna have a good time! WITH KILLING MARIO!🎵
(SMG4 grabs Mario and uses Luigi the Meat Mallet to kill him.)
SMG4: Goodbye!