Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This page is the transcript for Mario Gets A Pet.
Scene 1[]
(Our story begins with Mario walking into a pet store. After looking around for a bit, he spots a puppy for sale.)
Mario: Who's a good boy? WHO'S A GOOD BOY? WHO'S A GOOD BOY?
(But something else catches his attention. He finds Old Man Hobo in a cage, with a miniature Mario in another.)
Mini Mario: F*** YOU!
(Old Man Hobo wakes up from his nap. He resumes napping as Mario heads to another pet: A Cheep Cheep in a bowl.)
Mario: Oh, boy! Look at that fishy fishy! I'LL TAKE IT!
Scene 2[]
(Back home, Mario is teaching his new aquatic friend how to do tricks... Well, trying to, at least.)
Mario: C'mon, Pablo! Do a trick for Mario!
(No response, no tricks, nothing. Mario gets triggered over this...)
Mario: DO A TRICK, DAMN IT!
(...And accidentally knocks Pablo's bowl off the table. Pablo lands on the floor.)
Pablo: I'mmmmm... deaaaad...
Mario: SH!T! PABLO! NOOOOOOOO!
(After that, Mario is left with no choice but to flush his newly deceased friend down the toilet.)
Mario: Well, that was a load of sh!t...
Scene 3[]
(Later, Mario has found a new pet: A Chain Chomp.)
Mario: Oooo! You want the stick, boy!? Do ya!? Well, go get it!
(He throws the stick. Chain Chomp runs off.)
Mario: Hehehe. He'll be back soon.
(Day has turned to night, and Chain Chomp still hasn't returned.)
Mario: ...Chompy?
Scene 4[]
(Back at the pet store...)
Mario: I'm-a looking for... Koopas.
(Mario turns around and spots a Koopa in a cage. Mario excitedly takes the Koopa to show off at people.)
Mario: Have you seen Koopas?
(No one likes the new Koopa.)
(Eventually, Mario and his new pet make their way to Papa John's. They enter and get in line. Unbeknownst to them, Chef Fujimoto has taken a slight interest in the Koopa. He goes over to Mario...)
Mario: Hey, you like?
(...And tosses Koopa into a pot to cook.)
Mario: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Scene 5[]
(And now Mario has a bird.)
Mario: C'mon, little birdy, say Mario!
Bird: Chirp chirp
Mario: (Unhappy) You fat b!tch...
Bird: SHUT THE F*** UP, MAN!
Mario: You wrong!
(Mario slaps his pet, who gets angrier...)
Mario: Oh, no...
(...And retaliates by tackling Mario and beating him up.)
Scene 6[]
(After all is said and done, after all the tribulations he went through, and after all the times he proved himself to be a horrid pet owner, Mario takes the corpses of his deceased pets back to the pet store.)
Mario: Can I have a refund plz?
Cashier: S-Sir, you can't return... dead animals.
Mario: PIECE OF SSSSSH!T!
(Credits roll.)