Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This page is the transcript for Mario In Real Life: Mario Monster Mash (700k Special!)
Transcript[]
-The scene starts off at Luke's house, inside his room, he is snoring, camera pans over to his desk which is shaking, a portal with Mario appears, he slowly crawls out and falls off, he goes to the kitchen and opens the fridge, grabs a bag of food-
Mario: Oohh ho ho ho, oh yeah!
-He goes back to Luke's room, noticing he is still asleep, he grabs a marker out and draws his face-
Mario: Haha, I got it! Wahoo!
-Luke then wakes up and notices Mario-
Mario: Hello!
Luke: Mario? What are you doing here?
Mario: Good morning, mr.moustachio!
Luke: What? Did you... D-did you draw my...?
-He feels his face and goes to the bathroom, startled by his appearance-
Luke: MARIO!
-Luke comes back to his room with a clean face-
Luke: Mario, what are you d-? Is that food?
Mario: Wah! No!
Luke: Please don't tell me you came in just to steal food from me...
Mario: Aw come on! I've only done it for a year!
Luke: A YEAR?! Look Mario if you wanted food, y-
-Mario goes crazy-
Mario: STAY BACK! DONT MAKE ME USE THIS!!!
Luke: Ohwowowowowow, where did you get that?
Mario: Hmmmmmmmmm...
-Flashback shows Mario stealing the rock wizard's magic wand while it was asleep, flashback ends-
Luke: Look, just give me that wand and i'll...
-Mario gets angered and throws the wand at luke's face-
Luke: Ssss...Ow what th-
-The wand landed by his feet-
Luke: What was that for?!
Mario: DEFEATED NOW, BIATCH!?!
-The wand starts summoning Stalfos-
Stalfos: ARRRGGGHHH!!!
Mario: WAH!
Luke: What the heck is that!?!
-Stalfos speaks random gibberish-
Luke: Oh god, uh um well, take that!
-Luke grabs Mario and uses him as a shield-
Stalfos: ALL OF YOU ARE DEAD!
Luke: Ok that doesn't work.
-He throws Mario out of the window, he also jumps out of the window to escape-
Luke: Let's go!
-They go through the side of his house, Mario is all dazzled-
Mario: Im a pretty italian girl!
Luke: Owow Get out of the way!
-They stop to take a breather-
Luke: You just have to bring a magic wand, didn't you?
Mario: You just HAD to stop me from taking food!
-Both Luke and Mario stare at each other angerly, then they heard a noise inside his house, they go back inside and see Stalfos cutting a watermelon-
Luke: Hey, you're not suppose to be doing that!
Mario: Yeah! why aren't you cooking me anything!!!
Stalfos: ...i need some ingredients first...
-He turns around and starts chasing the duo, they heard a loud sound, the magic wand starts summoning more enemies, they all begin to evade, two chickens come along-
Steve: Chickens! My family has arrived!
-Both Mario and Luke ran outside and block the door-
Mario: Imma still hungry! waah!
-Dinolfos burst out the window-
Dinolfos: HAVE MY CHILDREN!!
-Luke gets frightened, he lets go the door, the monsters see the duo-
Chicken: YOU GET YOUR BITCH ASS BACK IN THE KITCHEN!
Mario: All i wanted was some food D:
Luke: Look, all we have to do is get rid of the monsters by getting the wand in my room.
Dinolfos: HAVE MY CHILDREN!!!
ReDead: HAHA IM ON FIRE MOTHERFUCKA!
-Luke spots and grabs a duster-
Luke: Ha! I'll kill all of you guys!
Mario: Oh whattya gonna do? clean them to death!?
Luke: Do you have a better idea?
Mario: Yes! we haul your fat butt through that open window!
-Luke agrees with the idea, he opens and looks through a window, a Dodongo roars, he closed the window frightened-
Luke: ...We'll be street hobos Mario.
-Mario disagrees-
Mario: No! Yippeee!
-He jumps inside the room, both Mario and Dodongos stare at each other-
Dodongos: BIG GAY DAAANCCEE!!!
-Dodongos dances while Mario panics, he uses scare but then gets punched away, Luke comes inside-
Luke: Ugh, lemme do it!
-Both Dodongos and Luke have a stare-off-
Luke: Woah! Come at me huh? I'll let you know I came first in Ass-kicking Class! Yeah yeah come at me!
-Dodongos screams aggressively-
Luke: Mario! Sexy Distraction #910!
Mario: Okie Dokie!
-Mario does his sexy distraction-
Dodongos: Wwwhhaaaaattt?!?
-Luke then stabs Dodongos with his duster, defeating it-
Mario: DAAAAAMMMNN!!!
-Luke takes a breather-
Luke: Ha! You thought I couldn't be able to clean them to death?
Mario: NOBODY CARES!
-Dodongos gets back up and tries to surprise attack them, but Luke dodge it and got sent outside the window, both the duo gave a high-five, they walk out of the room-
Luke: Let's never do that again...
Mario: Say! Ima hungry!
Luke: No no, let's just get rid of these guys, come on!
-They both check in Luke's room, startled by more monsters, but they were ironically startled, Mario quickly grabs the magic wand and transformed them, one being a pine tree, one into an actual skeleton dancing, and one a viking old man-
Old man: Hi there young people, nice day today?
Mario: YAHOO
-Mario then accidentally zaps Luke with the magic wand-
Luke: Oh jesu- Kzakzzzzzz!
-Luke grows a mushroom on his head-
Luke: Oh god, what the- OH GOD! TAKE IT OFF! GET OFF! AH! AHAHAHA!!
Mario: Wonderful!
Luke: GO ON HELP ME TO GET IT OFF COME ON! GET IT OFF I DON'T WANNA BE TOAD!
Mario: Grrr! Fine!
-Mario zaps Luke again, but turning his head into SMG4, making weird sounds-
Mario: Mmm! You don't look a half bad!
-He zaps Luke again, and he is back to normal, to his relief-
Luke: Mario! We have to go get the rest of the monsters come on!
Mario: Hold on! Mario needs to take a gigantic dump first!
-He opens the bathroom door, a one eye monster scares him and Luke-
Luke: JESUS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
-One eye monster still making weird sounds-
Mario: Daaaammmnnn....
-The one eye monsters roars and summons in three bat skulls-
Luke: Uhh... Oh, oh god... JESUS!!
-Both Luke and Mario run, Luke dodges the bat skulls, both the duo are completely surrounded-
Luke: Mario, use the magic wand c'mon!
Mario: Ahh! I can't! It needs to recharge!
-Magiciness is low-
Luke: I don't wanna die!
-Captain Steve appears from the ceiling-
Captain Steve: Hi guys! Can I join you guys? Huh huh?
Luke: Oh my god it's CAPTAIN STEVE!
-Luke looks at the viewers with a "WOOW" expression, the trio start fighting monsters, Mario is about to fight Donkey Kong-
Deku Scrub: Gorilla! Hurry up! Use your giant monkey arms!
Donkey Kong: Hell no! I'm gonna throw barrels at em!
-Mario dodges the barrels and defeats Donkey Kong, then all monsters are defeated-
Luke: WOW! Yeah that's right! Wrecked! Get dunked on! Wow! High-five! No? Okay! Yeah!
-Phantom Ganon bursts down from the ceiling-
Luke: AHH, JESU-
-Phantom Ganon laughs evilly-
Mario: Aaaah! No!
-Magic wand is fully charged, Mario zaps Phantom Ganon, but it turned into teletubbies, both Luke and Mario thinks its ok, but then the teletubbies ran outside-
Luke: W-where they going?
-They ran outside to see-
Luke: Oh god oh god! What are they doing?
Women generated voice: World domination commences in 5 minutes
Mario: Ahh! The wand needs to recharge again! D:
Luke: There is only one way we can do this Mario... It's not gonna be pretty
-Montage shows Luke putting on a teletubby costume, dubbing himself "Luke the...teletubbie?"
Luke: So what do you think, Mario?
-Mario facepalms in dismay, scene changes back to teletubbies who are planning, Luke comes outside and they notice-
Luke: Morning everybody! Keep on doing your work, you're doing good! Just...you know just a teletubby passing by. Don't pay attention to me. Hey, I like your uh..shoes!
-Tinkie-Winkie looks down...realizing he doesn't wear shoes-
Luke: Hey, did you lose weight? Alright!
-Po glares at Luke, knowing something isn't right-
Luke: Hey, looking good, Jeffery!
-Both Laa-laa and Dipsey look at each other, Luke's disguise glasses and antenna falls off-
Luke: Uh-uh... Eheheh... Uh...
Po: GET THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!
-Teletubbies start shooting-
Luke: Ohwowowowowow!
-He takes out a Waluigi Doll-
Luke: Don't make me use this! I'm gonna use this!
-They still keep shooting-
Luke: Wow god! Uh... Mario! Come on!
-He tosses the Waluigi Doll in the air, Mario zaps it-
Mario: Here WE GOOO!!!
-Waluigi Doll turns into Waluigi Launcher=-
Waluigi: WALUIGI LAUNCHER!
Luke: Yippee-kay-yay, r******!
-Luke launches Waluigi into teletubbies-
Teletubbies: WTF-
-The tank and teletubbies exploded, both Luke and Mario celebrated-
Luke: YES! Oooh! Get WRECKED!!
-Both Luke and Mario look at each other-
Luke: Want to get a burger Mario?
Mario: Okie dokie!
Luke: So what burger do you wanna eat?
Mario: SPAGHETTI!
-Both Luke and Mario walk away-
Luke: Uhh... You don't think a spaghetti burger counts.
Mario: Grr!!
Luke: Hey you want to sleep on?
Mario: NO!
Luke: Oh come on! Sleep is the best!
-After they left, the rock wizard comes out of the portal-
Rock Wizard: Oey! Someone took my wand! Hello? Anyone?
Dodongo: You can have... THE BIG GAY DANCE!!-
-Dodongo starts dancing again, much to the rock wizard's annoyance-
-Episode Ends-