Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
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Nah I'm not doing this s*** again! |
| This Transcript is incomplete, you can help the The SMG4/GLITCH Wiki by expanding it. |
The camera slowly zooms in on Mario.
Mario: (PewDiePie voice clip) Don't question me!
Cut to Mario's facecam and the currently blank area where the characters to be judged will appear. Mario clears his throat.
(The first character is Mario)
Mario: Smash!
(Next is Bowser)
Mario: Pass.
(Next is Luigi)
Mario: Pass.
(Next is Toad; Mario pulls a face of bug eyed horror)
Mario: (JonTron voice clip) ECH
(Next is Peach; Mario covers her head with a bag.)
Mario: Niiiiiicccceee!!
(Next is Birdo; Mario has an awkward, moustache-less look and darts his eyes towards the camera)
Mario: Smash! (points at camera) You shut the f*ck up!
(Next is Waluigi)
Mario: Pass.
(Next is Wario, Mario looks cross)
Mario: F*ck no! Pass!
(Next is Yoshi; Mario thinks for a moment before...)
Mario: Smash.
(Next is Bowser Jr. Mario looks unimpressed and offput.)
Mario: (TF2 Scout voice line) Uh, no.
(Next is Daisy; Mario's moustache grows large, he takes out the NUT button and presses it.)
Nut Button: NUT
(Next is Rosalina; Mario's eyes bug out and he spams the Nut button)
Nut Button: N-N-N-N-N-UT
(The nut button disintegrates into dust.)
(Next is Donkey Kong; Mario vomits before resuming a dignified pose)
Mario: Pass.
(Next is Nabbit; the camera moves between a close-up of Nabbit and Mario's confused expression)
Mario: What the f*ck? Whatever, screw it. Smash.
(Next is Gombette. Mario's nose extends with a warp pipe sound effect)
Mario: Oh yeah!
(Next is Princess Shroob. Mario's nose contracts with a crunch; the camera pulls close to Mario as the image goes greyscale)
Mario: There goes Mario's boner.
(Back in color, next is Kamek, Mario is unimpressed)
Mario: Pass.
(Next is Diddy Kong)
Mario: No Monkey.
(Next is King Boo; Mario looks surprised before turning into Ansley Harriot)
Mario: Yeah, boy...
(Mario turns back to normal)
(Next is Petey Piranha; Mario turns into his Super Mario Odyssey model and covers his crotch as his head implodes)
Mario: Ooooooooooh
(Mario shakes his still shrunken head)
Mario: No!
(Next is a Chain Chomp; Mario's entire body crunches flat vertically and he falls on his side)
(Mario stands up and points at the Chain Chomp)
Mario: Don't touch Mario's Salami!
(Next up is Toadette, Mario is back to Mario 64 style, looks unimpressed)
Mario: Pass.
(Next up is Wart, Mario covers his eyes and screams)
Mario: MY EYES!!!
(Next is Pauline, Mario's eyes pop out through his hand as he gasps)
(Mario stands with a massive Donkey Kong Hammer in hand and uses it to hit a massive NUT button)
(The castle explodes into a cosmic scene where Nick Cage as Mario is in ecstacy.)
NUT Button: NUUUUUUT
(Next is Bombette)
Mario: Tempting... but Mario doesn't want to explode while he's playing with his spaghetti.
(Next is E. Gadd)
Mario: Eww dude, WHAT THE FU-
(Next is Toadsworth)
Pewdie Pie as Mario: It's disgusting, What am I looking at?!
(Next is Kammy Koopa)
Mario: NOO!!!
(Next is Queen Bee from Super Mario Galaxy)
Mario: Does Mario really want to smash that? (thinks for a minute) Yes I do!
(Next is Spike; Fishy Boopkins slowly slides up from under the table.)
Fishy Boopkins: Hey, that's pretty-
(Smash cut to Mario shooting him out of the castle's cannon)
Mario: Fire!
(Next is Commander Shroob)
Mario: No!
(Next is Cackletta)
Mario: NOOO!!!!!!
(Next is a Cheep Cheep; Mario imagines what would happen)
Mario: That's-a so nice!
Cheep Cheep: Get me some f*cking water! (falls off the bed.)
(Back to reality)
Mario: Nah
(Next is Shy Guy)
Mario: No! Give me the sexier Shy Guy!
(A female-designed Shy Guy appears instead of the regular one)
Mario: I SAID THE SEXIER SHY GUY!!!
(Gourmet Guy appears on screen and Mario cheers)
(Next is/are the Koopalings, Mario kicks them off the screen)
Mario: Now get your skinny ass out of here!
(Next is Gooper Blooper)
Mario: Ooooo... Mario's seen enough anime to know where this is going.
(Mario imagines delivering pizza and the Gooper Blooper has an anime-esque reaction)
Mario: Did someone order a big sausage pizza?
Gooper Blooper: I did, but I don't have any money~
Mario: Why the f*ck did you order then?! (throws the pizza box at the big blooper)
(Next is Goomba)
Mario: Nope.
(Next is Monty Mole)
Mario: Mario would rather die.
(Next is Pirahna Plant)
SFX: Roblox Death Sound.
(Mario holds up a cross)
Mario: THE POWER OF SATAN COMPELS YOU!!!!
(Next is Thwomp, Mario imagines being literally smashed by one)
Mario (imagining): I love how gentle you are!
(The thought ends when the thwomp crushes him (in the thought))
Mario: Yes
(Next is Lakitu; Mario looks at it)
Mario: CAN I SMASH THE CLOUD?!
Smg4 (off-screen): NO!!!
Mario: DAMN IT!!!!!
(Next is Grigill)
Mario: No, hmm.
(Next is Fludd, Mario expresses disgust)
Mario: Are you trying to have sex with me?!
(Ominous sfx)
(Next is Blooper)
Mario: Pass.
(Next is Mallow)
Mario: Pass.
(Next is Flurrie)
Mario: That's gonna be a yikes from me! Holy sh*t!
(Next is Melody Piannisima)
Mario *cries*: Mama-mia. Trust me guys, Mario tried...
(Mario has flashbacks of him crying after she refuses to sit on his face)
Melody: This is the sixth time you've asked me. I'm not sitting on your face.
(Next is Hyper Bald Cleft)
Mario: No.
(Next is Lubba)
Mario: Smash? (but only after he thinks a bit first)
(Next is Coursebot)
Mario: Oh hell yeah!
(Next is Booster)
Mario: What the f*ck is that?! No!!
(SMG4 appears)
SMG4: Ooo... sorry, Mario. Looks like you've already smashed this guy.
(SMG4 shows Mario a video labelled "Super Mario RPG the bad kiss scene, which shows Bowser and Booster kissing Mario; Mario gets depressed)
Mario: (Spike voice clip) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dark Souls Game Over Screen: You gay
(Next is Rango)
Mario: No!! Don't pull!! No!!
(Next is Madamme Broode, Mario screams)
(Next is Hariet, a record scratches)
Mario: I swear Mario's not a furry.
(The display pointedly zooms in of the Smash counter increasing)
(Next is Belome; the "Smash counter changes before Mario can see it)
Mario: I don't know what this is, but it's kinda hot.
(Next is Fryguy, Mario roasts his nose over a fire)
Mario: Maybe I should pass.
(Next is Toodles)
Mario: Yes!
(Next is Lahla)
Mario: YES!!!
(Next is Vivian, Mario's head stretches out a lot)
Mario: YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!
(Next is Rosalina's mother)
Mario: YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This may have been accidental)
(Next is Baby Mario, Mario looks uncanny)
(Next is Mad Piano, Mario is playing a piano joyfully before middle-fingering the Mad Piano)
(Next is Sockop)
Mario: Oh no thank you! Mario's got his own sock already!
(Mario holds up a sock)
(Next is Moe-eye)
Mario: What the hell is that?! No!
(The Moe-eye morphs into an Easter Island head with a stick in it's mouth and appears behind Mario)
Moe-eye: Seduce me?
Mario: No!!
(The Moe-eye pulls a gun out)
Moe-eye: SEDUCE ME!?!?!
Mario: Okay. I will!!
(Next is Ukiki)
Mario: Pass.
(Next is Puni)
Mario: Blech
(Next is Mouser, Mario runs away)
Mario: OH SH*T!!!
(Next is Francis, Mario angrily shoots him with a shotgun and he and Meggy high-five)
(Next is tape (yes that's a Mario character)
Mario: Wha!? This is an actual NINTENDO character???
(Mario watches a video called "how to beat tape boss", followed by the character showing up on Mariowiki)
Mario: Oh, okay. Smash.
(Next is Pennington)
Mario: Nah
(Next is Shigeru Miyamoto, Spongebob (as Mario) licks Miyamoto's face, with an SMG4-adressed "cease and desist" letter popping up; Mario reads it)
Mario: Aw piss.
(Next is King Bob-omb)
Mario: Oooh nice moustache! SMASH!!!!
(an alarm goes off, and Bob appears instead of King Bob-omb)
Bob: Haha!! You have just been tricked, cause you are smashing none other than I, the great sexy Bob!!
(Bob dances, and Mario falcon-punches him)
Mario: Falcon PUNCH!!!!!!
(Next is Valentina, and Mario looks literally sick)
Mario: Jesus! Mario's got to smash...
(Next is the viruses from Doctor Mario)
Mario: Waaah! Coronavirus!!!!
(Next is Pokey)
Mario: Ohhhh
(Next is Mimi, Mario gets scared)
Mario: I admit that when I was younger, that was a bad move!
Cut to a flashback where Mario is naked from the top up and hops on the bed.
Mario: Let's-a-go!
Mimi: I lied. Put your clothes back on. I'm going to explain the entire lore of Garfield to you!
Mario runs away.
(Next is Clawgrip, Mario is terrified and covers his crotch)
Mario: No no no no no no no no no no no!
(Next is Partrick)
Mario: It's a brick...
(The screen zooms in)
Unknown: No, this is Patrick.
(Next is Queen Bean)
Mario: That ass!! It's holy!!
(He pictures Queen Bean crushing him)
Mario: Now if there was a way I could choose to die, this would be it.
(Next is a Pianta, who Mario thinks is Squidward)
Mario: Mr. Squidward! What the hell happened to you, boy?! Goddamn boi he THICC!!!!
(Next is a sign, who rejects him)
Mario: I love you...
Sign: NO!!!!!!
Text: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
(Next is Dry Bones)
Mario: Mama-mia. Mario tried a skeleton once...they're very rude.
(remembers a clip with Papyrus, who wakes up in a bed)
Papyrus: Hello everyone! It is I, the great Papy- (sees nude Mario) WHAT THE FU-!!!!!
(Next is the Eyerok, Mario says he has his own hands)
Mario: Pfft, I don't need hands, Mario already has his own! Oh you know, the usual!
(Next is Glamdozer, Mario shoves kunai in his eyes)
(Next is Tank Mario)
SMG4: Mario, you're not seriously considering smashing a tank are you.
(Next is Goomboss)
Mario: Hey! You dropped this king!!
(middle finger)
(bell)
(Next is Bullet Bill)
Mario: Hmmm...How is Mario meant to smash that?
Time card: Later...
(Mario appears in a hospital)
Medic: Alright, what seems to be the problem?
Mario: I put a whole bag of [censored] up my ass.
(Empty screen, Mario sneakily puts a pic of Lakitu's cloud and licks it, SMG4 appears)
SMG4: Oh hell no!!
(SMG4 uses the Infinity Guantlet and gets rid of the cloud, Mario cries as Boopkins cover of "See You Again" plays; under SMG4, the words "No Bitches?" appear)
(Next is Peach's umbrella; Mario is smashing it as Peach tries and fails jumping off the castle roof with it, the umbrella looks disturbed)
Peach: GO UMBRELLA!!!!!!
(Next is Rabbid Peach)
Mario: I've seen some pretty horrible things in my life, but this...this is just sick! Smash. No questions, shut up (points at screen) Bye!
(Closing screen)