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"JUST LIKE THE SIMULATIONS!" |
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This is a transcript for Mario Plays Cursed Mario Games
Episode[]
Mario puts a star on top of a Christmas tree as he is excited
Mario: Oh, yea!!! Santa... All i want for Christmas... Is a new Super Mario Game
A portal opens up in the room
Mario: Hmm?
Santa walks out of the portal
Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Mario: SANTAAAAAAA!!!!
Mario: DID YOU BRING ME A NEW MARIO GAME THIS YEAR?!?!
Santa: Why don't you find out?
Santa hands Mario a present
Mario: Oh yea!!
Mario opens the present to find "supra mayro gaymesz"
Mario: What the f*ck is this?!
Santa runs into the portal and leaves
Mario: Hey!!
Mario: Surely there's a good game in here somewhere!
Mario starts playing a game called "Mario Take a Shower"
The second Mario starts, it shows him in a bathtub and his "you know" censored with a black square, Mario's angry, closes monitor in a suitcase into a toaster oven into a refrigerator, takes it outside, throws it in the air
Mario: I'm sick of this s(bleep) says as he kicks it away smash bros style
Next game Mario plays is "⭐SUPER MARIO BROS. RIDERS" with only himself playable, he dances to Thriller
Mario (as he starts the game): Let'sa go!
Mario sees something off, realizes the flower behind him in the game is floating on the screen, resulting it following his character
Mario (gets closer to the flower): The f(bleep)
Flower turns into Flowery, said character is behind Mario when the camera pans backs on him, realizes
Flowery: evil laughs You have seconds to live, Mario has that bold eyes out face, stomps flowery Ahhhhhhhh!
Next game is "Mario Bros in Sonic World" with him on the main screen as Mario plays, he sings only for a certain kong with sonic enters
Lawyer Kong: I smell a DMCA!
Mario grabs both of them, he shoves Sonic into Lawyer Kong's butt, makes a "Oeeeeah" noise and as well gets his butt kicked on top of it, rings scatter as they go in the air, he looks at the camera, puts it closer to him
Mario: No! We're not doing this again!
Next is Mario Lost In Space, plays, loses twice, ends up in space himself
Mario (voice echoes thru space): Did I ask for this? gets hit by rock
Mario Destroyer is next but Mario can't see the game due to it being dark
Mario: I can't see s(bleep) puts flashlight on monitor, denied, tries the old man that goes "egg" somethings with his bald head, also denied, throws him out, goes on his gokart, flies to the sun, sings the Bob the Builder song when he gets there
Mario: No, it's f(bleep)! he starts catching on fire
Next is Whatever the Chinese text reads with Mario saying "It's a me" Chinese talking
Mario plays "Classic MARIO BROS" with the live action character from said movie. The select screen is classic Mario or Live action Mario, Mario picks live action Mario, only for the frame rate to drop by many!
Mario: God Dam-m-m-mmnit! Man, this is soo-o-o-ome bul-l-l-l-ll shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Mario crashes