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Not to be confused with Old Man Hobo, who is the narrator of SMG4: A Day In The Life Of Everyone.

Hello and Welcome! This is a story about a girl named Mario.

—Narrator, Super Mario 64 Bloopers: The Mario Parable

The Narrator is a classic recurring character in the SMG4 series.

He is an unnamed, monotone voice that narrates bloopers for SMG4 and Mario (much to their annoyances). He almost never appears in a physical form, except in Super Mario 64 Bloopers: The Warrior and the Hobo where he appeared as a SM64 Mario recolor. The Narrator is shown to be overarching across the series, and is also implied to be a proxy for Luke Lerdwichagul.



  • "Hello. Welcome to Mario Simulator. You get to do Mario Stuff.... Hooray"
  • "Wait a minute. Where the hell is Mario?"
  • "One day, in Teletubbyland, Po, Laa-Laa, Tinky Winky, and Dipsy got arrested for robbing a bank and also damaging a roof."
  • "Welcome back to Animal Channel (SMG4:Today we're lookin' at. The wild luigi "doll") WOW! There's a Wild Luigi... Look. They're Communicating... It's Amazing... Oh well what's going on Here?"
  • "Wassup, bro. You got a new spaghetti order. (Mario growls in anger) Don't be like that. Think positive. Bitch."
  • "Don't let it get to you. Remember, this is to make money for Peach, not to show off how awesome spaghetti is. Ah fuck."
  • "Nice fighting, dickface. Boy, you fight like a sissy. At least you got the money for Peach, right?"
  • "Dipsy's getting it on with the ladies. Laa-Laa wasn't invited. She was very angry."
  • "Time for Tubby toast."
  • Oh no, it's Bowser."
  • "Oh no, it's Mario"
  • "Nice going. You got the wrong princess."
  • "Welcome to Princess Capturing Simulator, where you get to be a creep and steal little girls.....Hooray"
  • "Well it looks like Mario is pissed and he's coming to get you. What do you want to do?"
  • "This is a story about a turtle named Bowser. Bowser was a weirdo who likes to steal princesses for a living. Uh, Bowser has other hobbies that might be mildly disturbing. Bowser lived a happy and weird life, he was so awesome in fact the doctor came to visit him and reported that he was pregnant."
  • "If you're watching this, then you are asking: How can I become a cop?"
  • "You are now ready to protect the citizens of your area, happy face."
  • "Oh dear. Which button stops it?"
  • "Have you ever experienced explosive diarrhea before?"


v - e - d SMG4 characters