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.....a lawyer?.jpg .....A lawyer?
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The Pointy Boob Lady is a character in Guards N' Retards: Pointy Things and the mother of Sergeant Mark.


Pointy Boob Lady is a woman with pointy breasts, as her name implies. She has ruby hair, and a thin figure. She looks incredibly young, and has a young woman's voice.


Guards N' Retards: Pointy Things

She encounters Chris and Swag when she passes them while they are guarding Sergeant Mark's office. Swag attempts to sex her, but she manages to get away. Swag and Chris pursue her, and finally track her down. After many failed attempts to convince her to sex him, a disgruntled employee shows up and engages the two in a fight. While Swag panics and hides, and Chris actually defends himself, the woman quickly seeks her own protection. This leads her to Swag, who is startled and ends up accidentally shooting PBL to death. Suddenly, Sergeant Mark appears and reveals the Point Boob Lady was his mother. Mark doesn't see the dead body of his mother, so Chris and Swag end up lazily half burying PBL's dead body. Morgan Freeman then sets it on fire as he explodes, and Sergeant Mark finds the burned body the next day, putting Chris and Swag into trouble.

SMG4: The Floor is Lava

After over seven years of absence, she finally reappears as a cameo alongside her son, Mark, and Admiral Greg, as well as several other "out of focus" characters such as FightingMario54321, Nintendofan997, Cube the Penguin, Jeeves, Yoshi, and Toast Guy.


  • She looks young although she should be at least in her 60s.
  • Her model is "Xenia Onatopp" from GoldenEye 007 for the N64.
  • She also made a cameo appearance in the episode Swag Party Hostages, as well as the lady that causes Swagmaster's eyes the burn in the episode Le Train Breach.

GMOD model

I have absolutely no idea what's going on.jpg "I have absolutely no idea what's going on."
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