The following article is transcript for R64: Freddy's spaghettiria made by SMG4. Retarded64 Freddy's spaghettiria Transcript(Retarded64 opening) (Mario is cross-eyed, standing near a sign that says "Super Psychic Italian Genie. Knows everything in the universe. Cost: One Spaghetti Bowl Stacy:Hmm?... What's this? *sees the sign and gets interested* Ooh! *gives Mario her spaghetti* Mario: Oh yeah! *slides over to Stacy* Oh, you're so good! Let'sa Go! Stacy: *looks to her sides then turns to Mario* Uh, Excuse me, but, did that cute guy from yesterday really though I was beautiful? Mario: Hoo hoo hoo... *shakes head* No! (Stacy looks at Mario angrily. She is suddenly replaced by SuperMarioGlitchy3) SuperMarioGlitchy3: Where to buy a pet Russian dolphin? Luigi: Why does no one pay attention to Weegee? Mario: (singing Bethoven's fifth symphony) Nobody cares! Nobody cares! (Luigi looks sad) Goomba: What's 9 + 10? Mario: Twenty-One? Peach: Why do my farts smell? Toad: Why are you so mean to me?! Chain Chomp: WHAT THE FUCK IS A SONIC?! Po: Weed... Amount... Legal... NYC. Policemen: *looks angry* Hey! You got a license for that?! Mario: *makes a troll-face* Yeeees? (Mario gets arrested) Mario: SHIT!! *looks the work posters* Oh No! Mamma Mia... *looks at the spaghettiria poster and is * Whoa!
Slowpoke: *holding a basket* Trick or Treat!
Slowpoke: Oh- Oh WTF? *walks onto the sidewalk* God d*mnit you won't gimme a chance! Just gimme a Fucking Chan- *Gets hit by Mario on his kart* Mario: *singing and dancing, while driving* Bitch! Get out the way! Get out the way b*tch, get out the way! (Mario crashes in a dark neighborhood and jumps out of his kart.) Mario: Ohh, very scary! Hmmm... *looks at the map, squinting* What the f*ck are we looking at? Ohh... (Sees a restaurant ahead. He thinks it's the spaghettiria and walks in.) Mario: La la la hmm hmm hmm, la la la... (Freddy pops out, getting thrown into a wall near Mario) Mario: *scared* Whaaa!!! (Skerpup talks to the officer who is annoyed) Officer: No, No, NO, A THOUSAND (Jumpman covers his mouth) FUCKING TIMES, NO!!! *has bloodshot eyes* I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS (Mr. Game & Watch covers his mouth) SHIT!! GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO (Mr. Game & Watch covers his mouth) FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!! And most importantly.... *turns to Freddy* FUCK... YOU!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Screams as he jumps out the window and runs away from the restaurant* (Mario is looking freaked out) Skerpup: Well, if you're here for the job, I think a spot just opened. Ahh, don't worry about that guy! He didn't get along with the robots! (Freddy turns on with a glitchy noise) Freddy: Hey there buddy. How's it going?
Phone Guy: Hello? Hello hello? Well if you're hearing this, then you're f*cked. You're just fucked. Mario: Bullsh*t!
Mario: *ranting* Where's my spaghetti? Where's my spaghetti? Mario: I work in a spaghettiria and I'm not even provided free spaghetti!
Mario: Ooh! Nice computer you got here!
Mario: It doesn't even get on YouTube! Mario: F*ck this!
Mario: I think I'll just stay here for now...
Mario: *looks outside door* Hey, Imma hungry...*leaves security room and crawls into stage room* (The animatronics suddenly turn on.) Freddy: *glitch noise* *robotic voice as he slowly turns to Mario* It's r*ping time. Chica: *spazzing out* PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Mario: *walks into supply closet* Hey, have you got any food? Whoa! *notices the animatronic heads on the table* Mamafucker! *realizes there's no spaghetti in there*
Mario: Wah! Freddy: *appears behind Mario* *face is Smokey the Bear's face, using Smokey's voice* Only you can prevent *face and voice return to normal R*********PPEEE!! Mario: *jumps and turns to Freddy, panicked* Ahhhahhhahahahaa!!! *runs away screaming* Freddy: *singing* Look at that booty, show me the booty, gimme the booty, I want the booty, back up the booty, I need the booty... Mario: AAAHH! WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT?! Chica Head: Bak, bak bak bak, *turns to Mario* Pizzaaaa...
Freddy: Ow, sh*t! Mario: AHHHHHHH!!! *runs out of closet* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Foxy: *playing the piano and singing Bed Intruder* Hide your kids, hide your wife, Hide your kids, hide your wife...
Foxy: *continues, looking at Mario* And hide your husband cuz they're rapin everybody out here. Chica, Bonnie, & Freddy: *pop up on stage out of nowhere* Chica: PIZZAAAAAAAaAAaaaaAa!!!!! Mario: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! *runs down hallway screaming*
Phone Guy: Hello? Hello? Very evil demons are in the first floor. They have twelve p*nises!
Phone Guy: They will insert them into your orifices! *censored noises* Yeah, nevermind, scratch that. It's best just not to get caught. Mario: *opening and closing door* Phone Guy: Okay, I'll leave you to it. Foxy: *appears at door* Hey dude, just wanted to let you know the pizza's ready. Mario: No, go away! Foxy: Sorry man, I'm just curious. Chica: *outside of window* Pizzaaaa... Freddy: *in office somehow, humping pizza* GET IN MAH BELLY! Foxy: Hey dude, you finished with that pizza? Freddy: *gets mad* I'M GOING TO R*PE YOU! Chica: *starts screaming* Freddy & Chica: *start wrestling on the floor* Bonnie: *barges in* Someone removed the frickin' PIZZAAAAAAaaAaaaAAAAAA!!!!!!! Freddy, Chica, Foxy & Eggman: *screaming* Mario: *takes out a cellphone and calls Mario's Ristorante* SuperMarioFan590 (as the guy who takes your order): Hello sir! What would you like to order? Mario: Spaghetti! Chica: No! *knocks phone out of Mario's hand* Pizza! Pizza! Pizza? Pizza! SuperMarioFan590: Sayy whaaaat? Chica: Pizza! Eggman: No! *knocks phone out of Chica's hand* Pingas pingas pingas pingas! SuperMarioFan590: *gets mad* We don't have that stuff!
*doorbell rings* Chica: Pizza? Delivery Guy: Hello ma'am, here's your pizza. Chica: Woohooo! PIZZAAAA!!! *humps pizza* Delivery Guy: Aaaand that'll be $12.95. Chica: *stares at the Delivery Guy for a moment then puts on a magician's hat* Would you like to see a magic trick? Delivery Guy: *is inside Freddy's mouth, screaming* Chica: *turns to the audience* Pizza!
Phone Guy: The animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. So remember, these guys hold a special place in the hearts of children, and we need to show them a little respect, right? Ok. Bonnie: *running in hall, saying EHRMEHGERRRDDJUSTINBIEBBERRRRRRR!
Freddy: Surprise, motherfucker! Foxy: *screams* Freddy: I love you! Foxy: Shut up, you had your finger up my a*s! Freddy: Because I love you. Chica: *in a room* Mr. stomach, are you hungry? *makes stomach talk* I'm always hungry! Now make with the pizza, fatso! *normal voice* *laughs* You're the stomach. Numnumnumnum. I am lonely. Mario: Mama mia! Boy, oh boy... Justin Bieber: *running down hall screaming* Bonnie: *chasing after Justin Bieber* OHMIGERD JUSTIN BIIIEBERRRR-- Mario: Hey man, let me do my job, alright? Bonnie: Fuck you! *continues running* Mario: *grunts* These guys are getting more annoying than scary! Golden Freddy: *appears out of nowhere behind Mario* Hi. Mario: What?! *turns around* AH. FUCK YOU!! OH GOD! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK, OKAY?! Golden Freddy: *spits out spaghetti* Mario: Oh! Ohhhh... Alrighty! Come here, fishy fishy-
Mario: *head is on Foxy's body* Phone Guy: Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike (rest is inaudible) Goomba, Koopa, Luigi & Toad: *partying around* Mario: Babies! Toad: HELLO! Mario: Toad? Toad: My name's Toad! AND III......LIKE....SPAGHETTTI!!!!!!
Toad:We're gonna have a duel! Mario: Shut the fuck up! *bites Toad's head* Everyone but Mario and the Animatronics: *starts flipping out* Mario: Oh my god I'm so sorry...JUST KIDDING B*TCH! *puts on a pair of "Deal with It" shades* Mario: *wakes up in security office* Hmm? ...just a dream?... DAMMIT! Why couldn't it have been real...Mamaf*cker! Mama mia...
Mario: *eyes are bloodshot red* Bonnie: I'm hungry!! Chica: Where's my pizza? Where's my pizza? Mario: YOU JUST HAD ONE! Go away! Can't your buy one youreslves?! Eggman: *on the stage* *calling Mario's Ristorante* Pingas pingas pingas pingas! SuperMarioFan590: *angry* I, don't sell pingas here! Foxy: *at window* You can't stay in there forever! Mario: Ha ha ha! Hee hee! La la la, hmmm hmmm hmmm *sees power level dropping* Wahh!!! Chica: Defeated now, BIATCH?! Mario: *panics* Ahhhahhhhahhh! Freddy: *Laughing* I'm coming for you! Mario: *has an idea* *battery power is at 2%* Waaaahhhhhhhhh! *throws an Amp at the computer monitor* Vegeta, what does the scouter say about its power level?! Chica: Pizza? Mario: No! IT'S OVER 9,000!!!!!! *monitor starts exploding and power level of energy becomes INFINITE%* TOTAL BAD*SS!!!! *starts dancing around* Freddy: HE FUCKING CHEATED!!!!!! Bonnie & Chica: *fires machine gun through glass* Foxy: You... fucking cheater! I'm gonna kill youuuu! *glitches through door* Mario: Nononononononono! *closes door on Foxy just in time* Foxy: Ow, fuck! Ow, god! Mario: Yeah! Ha ha hah! Freddy: *is suddenly behind Mario* Gotcha, b*tch! Mario: Dammit! *next scene, is in Bonnie's mouth*
Phone Guy: Hey, you're doing great! Most people don't last this long! I'm not implying that they die, that's-that's not what I meant. Mario: Better safe than sorry, better safe than sorry, better safe than sorry.... *has bloodshot eyes and is chaining up the doors* Hey, I'm a hungry... Chica: Bak, bak bak, bak bak bak Foxy: Hey dude, just wanted to let you know the pizza's ready. Chica: *runs to room, but finds spaghetti, not pizza* Aww! *takes a bite* Ugh! It tastes like shit! Foxy: Haw Haw! Mario: *is enraged at the insult to spaghetti and eyes are flaming* Hey! *goes up to the stage, angry* You don't. Fuck. With Mario. Foxy: *taunts* You ain't gon' do shiiiiiiiit. You ain't gon' do shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Foxy: *starts dancing around* You, ain't, gon' do sh*t, you ain't gon' do sh*t, you ain't gon' do sh*t! Mario: Wah-ha! *pulls out RPG launcher and shoots Foxy* You son of a b*tch! Chica & Freddy: *start running away from Mario* Freddy: Run, b*tch, RUUUUUUUN!! Bonnie Hey, what's with all the scre—OH MY FUCKING GO-- *gets blasted* Freddy: *gets into office and closes doors* Ohhhhhfuuuckthiiisshiiiit! Chica: *banging on door* PizzaaaaaaAAAaaaaA! Mario: *screams as he runs at Chica* AHAHAHAHAHA-- *attacks Chica and she blows up* Freddy: *checking cameras, notices Mario* Mario: *has his face on the screen* IMMA GONNA GETCHOO Freddy: *panics and jumps away* AH! OH MY GOD! Oh my god! OH! Mario: *sprints down the West hall, laughing ominously* Freddy: *quickly closes the door* Ohsh*tOHSH*TOHSH*T! *hyperventilates* I'm so...startled.... Mario: *spazzes out at the window* WHAT'S UP, FUCKEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR?! Freddy: OH, JESUS CHRIST!! *power runs out* F*ck. I'm so, startled... Mario: *appears in corner, while lights flicker on and off. Room gets fully dark. Mario has a death animation of screaming and spazzing with the "Pingas" audio file playing multiple times.*
Manager: *walks in* Hi kids, we're home early- *sees naked Mario with a bunch of knocked out robots* Mario: Oh, hello, there you are. Manager: *angry* Ey-wha-WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU HAD ONE JOB! OOONE JOB! *eye twitches* Mario: Hey, have you got any food? Chica: Pizza! *END OF VIDEO* |
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