R64: Mario Simulator, often simply called Mario Simulator (just like the fictive video game of the same name), is the 177th video made by SuperMarioGlitchy4, and the sixth episode in the Retarded64 series.
Mario gets a video game called Mario Simulator, in which the player can "do Mario stuff" (according to the Narrator).
In the beginning of the episode, the title screen to the right shows. Then, Mario appears in the video game. The narrator then explains what is going on. After that, Mario is met by a Luigi-like guy, whom Mario punches, and moves on. Mario then tries to enter a pipe, but is too fat to enter. He then finds a Toad, and is forced to "kill it before it lays eggs". Mario then enters the Castle and encounters Bowser. Mario then knocks Bowser out of the Koopa Clown Car, freeing Peach. Then Mario throws a sandwich at Bowser, killing him. An overjoyed Peach happily walks outside, and immediately gets herself captured again. Mario then finds one of the classic Brick Blocks, and jumps into it in hopes of getting coins, but ends up breaking his neck and spine.
Mario then does a "360 degree noscope swagalicious ass pound" (which later turns out to be a very complicated way of doing the regular jump) and stomps on a Goomba. However, he is struck by one coming from behind, and Mario dies of Goomba diabeetus. Mario goes through the beginning of the game again, looking at his hunger meter which is critically low. Mario eats spaghetti for 2 hours, but his hunger meter was filled by only 1%. After that, Mario rage quits and gives the game to Luigi and Wario before getting it back. He's still hungry, but he is given a kart instead of food. He drives out of the castle and immediately crashes, and he encounters Daisy with spaghetti in her skirt. She calls Mario a gutless fatso, and he dies of heartbreak (claiming he "wanted to live in a world without fat people"). Mario goes through the beginning shenanigans AGAIN, but this time, he runs over Daisy with his kart. At a gas station, Mario meets SwagTubbie and is totally jealous of his shades.
He is given the option to "be a douche", and he steals the SwagTubbie's shades, who promptly tries to run Mario down. Mario manages to get onto higher ground, and the SwagTubbie vows revenge. Due to the amount of points he got for "being a douche", Mario unlocks a secret simulator mode: Toad simulator. He screams in rage, confusion, and dread, all while Toad has begun to play this new mode, quickly achieving 9999999999999999999 (9 quintillion 999 quadrillion 999 trillion 999 billion 999 million 999 thousand and 999) points. Mario then throws Toad out and continues playing the regular game. Mario then confronts a hoard of Teletubbies, led by SwagTubbie.
The horde then throws him into the lake. Mario then tries to play the game one more time, but dies taking a crap and Miyamoto taunts Mario. Mario becomes so angry, he turns into Super Saiyan. He flies into space and throws the game cartridge into the Sun. Mario then proclaims, "I did it. I saved the world." Unbeknownst to Mario, immediately after he says this, the Earth explodes.
EXPERIENCE POINTS [EXP]
EXP is what you gain so you can level up.
AWESOME POINTS [APS]
APS is what you collect to be awesome.