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THAT BAFOON! THAT BAFOON!
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This page is the transcript for R64: Mario Simulator.

Script

(The video begins with Mario walking on his simulator title screen)

Mario: Press start to play. Okeydokey, do just like Mario okay?

("Insert 1 coin" hits Mario to off-screen)

(Loading screen appears, and so does Rock Wizard)

(Went to Mario's and Luigi's house, and Mario appears With Derp Eyes Texture)

Narrator: Hello, welcome to Mario Simulator, you get to do Mario stuff, Hooray.

Mario: Hoo hoo hoo.

(Mario goes to the living room)

Luigi: Mario, it's New Super Mario World! Everything is different, there's water in the sky, Mario! And there blocks everywhere, Yoshi coins.

(Yoshi poops out a coin)

(A menu of selection appears)

Luigi: Mario---

(Mario punches Luigi out of the house and crashes)

Luigi: Oof! My children!

(Mario runs off)

Mario: I got shit to do.

Title: Pipe Simulator

(Mario tries to go in the pipe)

(Mario outside the game repeatedly pressing the A button)

(Mario walking by)

Toad: Hey!

(Mario turns around)

Toad: What are you doing today?

(Mario screams and shoots Toad)

(Toad dies instantly)

(Mario gets 5 experience points)

(Mario walks to the hallway from the castle door)

(Bowser captured Peach in his clown cannon)

(Mario looks shocked)

(Bowser laughs evilly)

Toad: The princess has been captureddddd!! (spining around)

Narrator: Oh no, it's Bowser.

(Mario picks what Bowser equals, and went to the lemon)

Mario: No! She's a b*tch.

(Mario outside the game repeatedly presses the Z button to attack Bowser)

(Mario misses and hits Bowser's clown cannon, but Bowser suddenly falls out his clown cannon.)

Mario: It's raping time!

Bowser: Please, please bring ever laps.

(A menu of selection appears, Mario outside the game selects the sandwich)

(Mario throws the sandwich at bowser)

Shao Kahn: FATALITY! (From Mortal Kombat 3, Ultimate Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat Trilogy

(The text says battle won, and gives Mario one experience point, and one awesome point)

Mario: Mmm, I'm the best. Mmm, I'm the best.

Peach: Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Aah!

(Peach idiotically goes to the exit door, and gets captured by Bowser once again)

Toad: The princess has been captureddddd!!

(Mario turns angrily at Toad)

Mario: You dirty b*tch.

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