This page is the transcript for R64: Mario Simulator.
(The video begins with Mario walking on his simulator title screen)
Mario: Press start to play. Okeydokey, do just like Mario okay?
("Insert 1 coin" hits Mario to off-screen)
(Loading screen appears, and so does Rock Wizard)
(Went to Mario's and Luigi's house, and Mario appears With Derp Eyes Texture)
Narrator: Hello, welcome to Mario Simulator, you get to do Mario stuff, Hooray.
Mario: Hoo hoo hoo.
(Mario goes to the living room)
Luigi: Mario, it's New Super Mario World! Everything is different, there's water in the sky, Mario! And there blocks everywhere, Yoshi coins.
(Yoshi poops out a coin)
(A menu of selection appears)
(Mario punches Luigi out of the house and crashes)
Luigi: Oof! My children!
(Mario runs off)
Mario: I got shit to do.
Title: Pipe Simulator
(Mario tries to go in the pipe)
(Mario outside the game repeatedly pressing the A button)
(Mario walking by)
(Mario turns around)
Toad: What are you doing today?
(Mario screams and shoots Toad)
(Toad dies instantly)
(Mario gets 5 experience points)
(Mario walks to the hallway from the castle door)
(Bowser captured Peach in his clown cannon)
(Mario looks shocked)
(Bowser laughs evilly)
Toad: The princess has been captureddddd!! (spining around)
Narrator: Oh no, it's Bowser.
(Mario picks what Bowser equals, and went to the lemon)
Mario: No! She's a b*tch.
(Mario outside the game repeatedly presses the Z button to attack Bowser)
(Mario misses and hits Bowser's clown cannon, but Bowser suddenly falls out his clown cannon.)
Mario: It's raping time!
Bowser: Please, please bring ever laps.
(A menu of selection appears, Mario outside the game selects the sandwich)
(Mario throws the sandwich at bowser)
Shao Kahn: FATALITY! (From Mortal Kombat 3, Ultimate Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat Trilogy
(The text says battle won, and gives Mario one experience point, and one awesome point)
Mario: Mmm, I'm the best. Mmm, I'm the best.
Peach: Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo! Aah!
(Peach idiotically goes to the exit door, and gets captured by Bowser once again)
Toad: The princess has been captureddddd!!
(Mario turns angrily at Toad)
Mario: You dirty b*tch.