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"JUST LIKE THE SIMULATIONS!" |
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This page is the transcript for R64: Mario The Waiter.
Transcript[]
Gaben: What the fuck happened to my waiter?
Mario: Uhh... he fell asleep?
Gaben: You fucking scrub! That was my only waiter, now you must replace him- OR ELSE.
Mario: Okey-dokey!
Mario: Looks like Mario is f**ked...
Gaben: Alright, you little shit. Time to get to work. Go take people's orders now!
Mario: Hello sir! What would you like to order
Frankie: *speaking unintelligible*
Mario: WHAT?
Frankie: *continues speaking unintelligible*
Mario: ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?
Frankie: *crying*
(Mario notices Gaben for a human resources reference from SpongeBob)
Mario: UUH, I mean sure! We'll start making your... crap straight away!
Frankie: Yay!!!
Toadette: HEY WAITERR! I want to order a sugar-free chocolate cake!
Toadette: (speaking in a threatening tone) You better not fuck this up, Mario.....
Mario: Okeli Dokeli.....
Mario: Someone's ordered a chocolate cake!
Gaben: Oh shit, now's not a good time. One of my ingredients is trying to stab me.
Fishy Boopkins: STAY BACK! BACK! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! DON'T EAT ME! I AM NOT TASTY!
Gaben: You are going to have to cook it. Do you know how to cook at all?
Mario: I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!
Gaben: Goddamnit, just look up an instructional video.
Fishy Boopkins: YOU NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!
Gaben: COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!
Mario: Well Mario better get to work! :D
Mario: To the freaky mushroom couple... your cake!
Mario: Ta Da! (Mario reveals his "cake')
Toad: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?
Toadette: HEY! Don't be so rude Toad! Mario put a lot of love into it! Look at him, he'll get sad!
Toad: I AIN'T HAVIN THAT SHIT!
Toadette: YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!!!!!
Toad: Okay......
Toad: WOOW! THAT SHIZ IS AWESOME! What's in it?
Mario: Everything in the kitchen.
Toad: What do you mean?
Gaben: Hey I am back, sorry I was gone.
(Gaben opens the door and sees the entire kitchen is literally gone.)
Gaben: SON OF A BITCH! WHERE DID THE KITCHEN GO!?
Mario: Can I go now?
Gaben: YOU FUCKING ITALIAN, YOU'RE RUINING ME! YOU HAVE ONE LAST CHANCE, OR ELSE SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR BALLS!
Gaben: See that spaghetti over there? Deliver it to that customer. There's no way you can screw this up.
Mario: You can count on Mario!
Mario: (Thinking) I don't need it, I don't need it, I definitely don't need it. (Mario's hesitantly staring at the spaghetti he's hold) I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it.
Mario: I delivered it! The customer liked it so much that he wants another one.
Mario: Ta dah! (Mario holds a bat and later belches implying he has eaten the spaghetti)
Gaben: YOU FUCKING BITCH! I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU!
Gaben: Here's Gaben...
(Props up the door with propane canisters)
Gaben: *wails a battle cry* (Holding a RPG at the door)
Gaben: Oh shit!
Mario: Huh? ....where the heck are we?...
Gaben: YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY DINER AND ME VERY MAD... I CURSE YOU TO BE TRAPPED ON MY FACE FOREVER. NOW I MUST GO BACK TO MAKING HALF LIFE 3, Later assholes.
Luigi: Great, now I'm never going to get that kart?
Gaben: By the way, here's a friend for you guy's to play with.
Big Smoke: Where the hell is my order, biotch!?
Luigi: Screw this, I'm going back to being unconscious.