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This is the transcript for R64: The Spaghettipocalypse.

THAT BAFOON! THAT BAFOON!
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(video begins with the Retarded64 2015 intro, then fades into the "Breaking News!" screen. It then fades to a news desk with CrimsonMan5)

CrimsonMan5: Breaking news. Reports had occurred following the bankruptcy of all spaghetti factories in the Mushroom Kingdom. (A picture of Mario) Reports show this man here is the reason is buying 99% of the spaghetti factories' stock and doesn't pay it back.

Mario:(Looking at TV) eh, i haave 10 years supply of spaghetti...

1 week later

(Mario suffering withdrawal from lack of spaghetti and going mad)

Luigi:(On phone) Help! X6

Toad: welp luigi! it was nice knowing you :D

(Luigi tries to get out but doors locked)

Mario: Luigi! I'm starving! I WANT TO EAT YOUR SPAGHETTI!

(Luigi screams)

Toadsworth: i'm sure Luigi will calm Mario down, princess!

(window breaks)

Luigi: F*** this S***

(Peach sighs)

Officer(FM): we're sorry princess, but he's too dangerous... we're gonna have to blow up the house...

Peach: Nooooo! Mario

Toad: YAY

Peach: no! why not ask what Luigi thinks!

Luigi: Kill him! Kill him! Oh God Kill him!

Oficcer: Shoot it down!

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