R64: the 1337 p0lice is the fifty-third episode of Season 3 and the one hundred and fifty-second overall to be uploaded by SMG4.
This is also the third episode of the Retarded64 series. It was aired on November 24, 2013.
t's time for Mario to learn the hard way of protecting and training after joining the intense police :O
The video begins with Mario having a good dream where he happily did random things until Luigi told him he was pregnant, causing Mario to wake up with a shock in a dumpster naked. After the title screen jokingly said it was "retadrred65", Mario was walking naked when he (now clothed for no reason) saw a RMKP officer and its training institute. He thought of what he could do as an officer: Shouting Toad to "STAPH RIGHT THERE!" and blasting him off. Excited, Mario decided to enlist.
As the boss questioned Mario if he was able to take on the challenge of going with high standards, he saw Mario naked (but indicated he could).
The first challenge was to get through an obstacle course. As Mario hung back (because he was scared, lazy, and tired.), he noticed how a cadet jumped across the water. Finding it easy, he long jumped but slammed right into the wall and into the water, causing the boss to start laughing at him.
In the second part of the course, a cadet asked Mario if he could stand on the button to keep the wall down but Mario, being selfish, refused and just went straight ahead, causing the cadet to try dashing through the gap to no avail. As Mario laughed over his selfish ways, he suddenly saw a huge wall he had to climb. Mario tried getting Yoshi to pull him up but because he was so fat, they both tumbled down to Mario's side.
In the third part of the course, a cadet wondered what was the blockage in the pipe all about, just to be Mario who struggled to break through the pipe's exit.
In the dormitories, as everyone slept, Mario in the top bunk fell through the bed and onto his fellow cadet in the lower bunk, smothering him.
At the firing range, Mario tried firing his pistol at the target but missed. As he tried to use a sniper rifle and fired, Luigi somehow appeared and got killed accidentally due to being in Mario's line of sight. Mario then had an idea: Attach random people onto the targets. Suddenly, he could aim well. However, when Peach Toadstool came up, Mario decided to just rush to and destroy her himself, to the point the boss noticed that somehow Mario destroyed the scene.
Thinking it would be easier, the boss played an educational video. However, the video was too confusing until the point the narrator got confused.
Three weeks later, as the boss was encouraging his cadets saying that this was their final challenge, Mario subtlety insulted his fellow cadets, causing an argument that eventually led to him being thrown out of the plane.
At street level, Mario tried to arrest a jaywalker and scared off a child Koopa Troopa. One day while on off-duty looking for something in a store, a robber came and tried to rob the place (and the cashier who had spaghetti). Mario witnessed it and escaped the store. However, when other officers came in, he remembered he was an officer too.
Going back into the store, he managed to stop the criminal and tried to do a rescue as he knew the robber's bomb (which he dropped) was going to destroy the store. When he came out, one of the other officers asked if he saved the cashier. Mario said yes but showed the spaghetti, meaning he left the cashier in the building to get blown up, which is how the episode ends.
- SM64: THE BOOTLEG DIMENSION: Corrupted Peach's Castle returns in this video, this time being the setting of the main plot.
- This is the second time Mario tried to stop crime, the first being Super Mario 64 Bloopers: A Murder Without Peach.
- This is also one of the videos which end with background exploding. The other one being SM64: ṩṩἔᾗмὄḋᾗᾄʀ 10 (350k apocalypse special).
- The numbers 1337 in the episode is a play on words, in which it means 'elite'. This play of words is known as leetspeak.
- This video is referred to as "Retarred65" as a joke.
- This is the first time Yoshi can be seen using a Mario Party 3 model.
- This is currently the least viewed R64 video.
- Bowser appears as a robber in the thumbnail but not in the video itself.