Rap Battles, also called Stupid Rap Battles of Fat Italians, are a recurring event of the War of the Fat Italians series. The first one appeared in the 2015 episode and have appeared in every one that has come after it so far.

The battles are mainly between Mario and SMG4, but other characters have joined in the rapping as well.

2015's Rap Battle
It's-a me, Mario
I'm the best, don't you see
There's nothing better in this world except spaghetti
You think you've got the grooves of Mario's moves?
I'm sorry, but you don't even compare with my man boobs!
Hey, I kick the Koopa ass
And I save the princess, that's my Peach
Imma number one, and you suck pingas bitch!
Well, I didn't know being a fatty was so cool
Humping that spaghetti while you sit and drool
You keep eating spaghetti, always wanting more
But sorry, not me, I'm SMG4
You're supposed to be plumbing, doing other crap instead
While you just sit at home with Luigi in bed
You mother-(bleep)
What did you say?
Oh you dead now, imma make ya pay!
I'll get two chopsticks and shove them up your ass
Uhh, no sorry, I think I'll pass
You sit at home all day
On your PC like no end
You think that would explain why you have no girlfriend
You think you got swag?
Even if you're a hag?
Ha! Well, Mario's got it in the bag!
Girlfriend? Are you kidding? That's just rude
Considering your girlfriend is just a puddle of food
Look at my followers, who doesn't love me?
{Why not subscribe? It's totally free)
I think I win this one, Mario buddy
Why not go home and hump some teletubbies
Mario: YOU SON OF A BITCH! (roars)
SMG4: (screams)
2016's Rap Battle
Let's a-do this bitches
Mario's back to slay
You think you can beat me?
I can rap all day!
Time to time, you try to beat my rhymes
But you're so bad, it should be a crime!
You think you're funny, Mr. SMG4?
If you ask me, you're an SMG-snore!
Mario can help you from being a pathetic little nerd
But you know what they say
You can't polish a turd!
("OOOOHHHH" from the rap battle parody)
Oh boy, it's time to wreck a fat italian
Maybe after this, I can get a big medallion
It can be a pendant of the man I really hate
Lazy, annoying, and overweight!
You try and act so big while I'm already famous
While you're alone shoving spaghetti up your anus
Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show
Let me show you how a proper rap goes
Bowser: (laughs) What up, biotch?! You guys are lame. Time for the king of the Koopas to lay down some rhymes.
It's me, the king
The epitome of swagger
Here to wreck the nagging ass of you two braggers
Now watch me blow you away in a flash
As I showcase my army and my fat stacks of cash
Looks like the turtle decided to come out of his shell
But meh, whatever
I'm gonna send you to hell!
With my rhymes so hot that it will melt your face
Then after I take Peach home, maybe even to get to third base
Bowser, you're a joke
Have you seen the way you look?
You look like something a 2-year-old drew in a coloring book
You think kidnapping Peach is the way you'll come to power?
I think you should shower
Maybe she'll stay an extra hour
Oh boy, Mario
My fat italian foe
You trying to act cool?
Well, that's a new low!
Move aside, fatso
Cause Bowser rules the day
I'm big, I'm strong...
Don't forget he's gay!
Shut the hell up, you spaghetti loving freak
All you do all day is freaking streak!
Peach doesn't love you, your relationship is filled with lies
As soon as she sees me, her panties fly
Come on! What's wrong? Have a tug on my tail
Try to spin me around as I watch you fail
Oh jeez, it's Bowser
I'm gonna need my glasses
Cause now this room has two giant asses
Why are you here? You're gonna give me a fever
Go back home and hump some Justin Bieber
You act like you're slick, you act like you're swanky
But the closest you'll get is the coolness of Frankie
Why do you even bother to act like a villan
When you only want Peach being Netflix and Chillin'
Now hands in the air if you think Bowser is whack
There you go, Bowser, there's your feedback
The star, the man of the hour
It's a shame that when you're fighting you just sit there and cower
Even Toad is better than you
If I were you, I'd be scared
Stay away from me even if you were prepared
I'm a ten-foot dragon, are you visually impaired?
Don't worry, cause no one really cared.
You think you're cool?
Well, let me give you a pitch
You're worthless, pathetic and a downright bitch
All you fans think you're weird
And you bring shame to the word "glitch"
Shut up, Bowser! No one likes you! You're a mess!
How can Peach like you if you don't know how to dress?
You look like a dragon but you can't even fly
The person you made you must have been really freaking high
You're annoying, fat, and pretty much the bane of us all
Why don't you go home and swing on your Bowser Ball
Announcer: KO!
Bowser: Nooo! I can't believe I shaved my legs for thiiiis...!
(high five)
2017's Rap Battle
S to the M to the G to the 4
That's a name I'm sure you've heard of before
Filled to the brim with rhythm and flow
A sexy ass man from head to toe
Now I don't want to mention
But just pay attention
Cause I'm about to kick your ass to the next dimension
If you think you're gonna win then you're deranged
Because ever since the beginning, nothing's changed
An overweight plumber won't ever stick
You need a man like me who's EXTRA THICC
Try and take a swing
But you'll never be the king
You're gonna be knocked out with a RING RING RING
Oh boy, you're back
Am I living a dream?
I get to re-destroy this stupid ass meme
What are you gonna do, you stupid dingus?
Sit at your computer and yell out "pingas?"
You're weak and pathetic and never athletic
Dr. Mario thinks that you're a diabetic
As you sit at your computer all day long
Doing crap all except expanding that dong
Now go home and cry to all your little fans
While me, Mario, I got much better plans
You're such a big fool
And this may sound cruel
But sorry, Glitchy
I've already won this duel
HAHA! That's funny
We've only begun!
I've brought some help to show you how it's done!
Mario, my paesano
It's time to stop
If you keep this up, my ears are gonna pop
You do nothing with your life except saving Peach
How about you try some exercise or maybe even bleach
Sorry bro, but every diss here is true
Looks like for once, you're Player Two
Oh no, it's Luigi!
I'm so afraid!
I can't stand losers whos never gotten laid
You rap like a mom
It's really freaking dumb
Just go back home and keep sucking on your thumb
Now I've got a rapper who you don't want to cross
C'mon, Fishy Boopkins
Show em' who's boss!
[Fishy Boopkins]
Hey SMG4!
You're stinky and fat!
And, um... crap!
I also hate your hat?
Ah, I'm sorry! That was really mean!
Ah man, it's not easy being green
I'm sorry, Fishy Boopkins, but that rap was invalid
Cause I'm not going to listen to some stupid salad
Fishy Boopkins: Hey!
Is this your best Mario?
Cause it's sounding weak!
You're gonna end up adding to my winning streak
Here comes my next rapper
Things are looking dire
Give it to em' E. Gadd and spit hot fire!
[E. Gadd]
What's up bitches, this is my rapping debut
Looks like this rap could use some higher IQ
Mario, there seems to be a lot of tension
Don't fret boy, have this new invention
Use this mic, it'll help you refute
(But that's only because it'll be on mute)
Shut up, you stupid wannabe Edison
Go home and take your old people medicine
Now I'm gonna need someone as cool as spaghetti
I need the one, the only, the badass Meggy!
(singing in Inkling)
It's such a shame!
You boys are lame!
Just raise your game, raise your game, baby
Never give up, yeah!
Woo wat up bitches
It's Bob time!
Giving out hot beats like Busta Rhyme
Bitches get ready, here comes the hook
Check out my Instagram, SnapChat and Facebook
Bob: What?
2018's Rap Battle
What's up losers, it's me Waluigi!
What? New opponents? Wah! Too easy!
You can't stop my powers, I'll snap you like a twig
I'll be dancing on your grace to this groovy dance jig!
You need the force of a million battalions
But the best you have is a dumbass italian
Think you can beat me? Rejection's perfection!
Drop the protection, give in to the infection!
Your obsession for rejection must be a weird complexion
The only power you have is making guys lose erections
Here's Mario's tip, go and cry to Wario
We'd all agree that'd be the best scenario
Don't wanna be rash, but your backstory's trash
Having a tantrum cause you weren't put in Smash?
Have a sit down bro, it's time to go to class
Cause we're about to school your purple lanky ass
When will you ever come to your senses
You're a weakling disguised with demonic hexes
Hold on folks, things are getting tighter
You don't even qualify as a damn echo fighter
You just sound like noise pollution
Getting rid of you is the only solution
Come on now, your image is being defiled
You're like Nintendo's accidental child
Oh, now my mercy has just departed
Now this is where things get really started!
You can't beat the power of my hypnosis
Come on Bob, give em' their diagnosis!
Oh crap bois
Bob is here
And Sakurai daddy just made him S-tier
Hold your pingas cause it's going to throb
When it lays its eyes on the magnificent Bob
Your tyranny nears its end
[Fishy Boopkins]
You're so mean!
You know, fighting's kinda lame
Why don't we all just play some games? (chuckles)
Your half-baked rhymes are clearly evident
Cause you're based on a meme too irrelevant
Your ass getting wrecked in a state of permanence
Looks like you're gonna have to end your turbulence
And in the red corner with an infinite weight
Here's a fat idiot who can't even look straight!
The only thing you can do is hump a pasta bowl
Just stay being useless while I take control
Listening to you is like a new form of torture
I liked it better when you were just a launcher
Perfect epitome of the word "miserable"
The annoyance you bring is definitely considerable
You impotent fool!
You think you're so cool?
Your YouTuber influence is super minuscule
You're just a tool
Mindless as you drool
Go back to your channel they call a cesspool
Time to bring this to a close
Listen closely, cause this is how it goes
Now whenever your ugly face is rejected
Your powers seems to be greatly affected
There has to be one person left that likes you
Sounds crazy right? But it has to be true!
What? That's impossible!
Why do you persist?!
Such a twist certainly can't exist!
I am here to say I'm sorry!
I should treat you better
And I'll never reject YOU...
2019's Rap Battle
X: All right guys, I think you two insulting each other is overrated. So instead, we're just going to have a nice sing-along together where we'll be COMPLIMENTING each other on our game skills. Okay?
Games with Mario?
Yeah, I'd rather quit
Actually, he'll do that when we play Wii Fit
You know what, let's sit back and watch him rage
As he spams his moves and falls offstage
Bro, you FPS flair is just a joke
You trying to aim is like having a stroke
How about Mario Kart
What do you reckon?
Because when you play with me
You won't survive a second
Okay, this isn't really working, it seems
Discuss co-op games, work together as a team
If that's gonna happen, I don't want to be alive
I brought poison for two!
WOO-HOO! High-five!
You know, I'm happy that games keep you home
Or else you might give someone your third chromosome
It's good that you play games with lost of dating
Cause if you tried the real thing
You'd never see it coming
(dance break)
Okay, this is becoming more of a mess
How about Animal Crossing to relieve some stress?
All the poor villagers would all lose their sanity
As they'd have to endure this crime against humanity
Mario's more suited to the world of Splatoon
Where he can roll around in paint and eat paint like a goon
The simple answer is: Your IQ is draining
Just stick with Dr. Kawashima's brain training
Bro, why do you think you'll be taken so seriously
When honestly, your face looks like an Earthbound enemy
You talk down all lowly but play games to slowly
That's why all the princesses want Mario's ravioli
Sure, have fun in your cute game of Pokemon
But try anything else, you're gonna get dunked on
This is so frustrating
Why all this hating?
Is there seriously no game that'll stop the debating?
You need a game with lots of Uzis
[Fishy Boopkins]
No no, a game with waifu boobies!
A drawing game will help you be more inclined
Show your drawing skills and...
Wait... never mind
Be sure to take breaks in interval, guys!
Playing games for too long can strain your eyes
You gotta play fighting games
Tear each other's skin!
Actually, let me join in!
I know you two are feeling uneasy
That's why you should play games with more LUIGI!
Mario and SMG4: NO!
Mario, just go home
All you do is annoy
While I'm the Switch, you're the Virtual Boy
Mr. Game and Watch, show us the score
(Mr. Game and Watch shows 0)
(Mr. Game and Watch shows 9)
I'm sorry, bro
I know you want more
But don't be salty about your beaten highscore
Stop being a child
Go put on your big trousers
Mario's gonna win
So long, gay Bowser
You guys got ten seconds to compliment each other
Or I'm gonna be making you scream for your mother!
Hey man, what's with all this sass?
Yeah dude, what got up your ass?
X's weapon: Activating instant kill.
Oh God! Mario! I'm sorry for talking smack!
You too! Uhhh... I think you make a great snacc!


This article, transcript, or section is incomplete and needs to be completed. Any user is obliged to do so.
  • 2015's Rap Battle is the only one that is just between Mario and SMG4; the rest have featured other characters.
  • 2019's Rap Battle is the first to feature X.
  • There have been two "Boss Battles:" the first being 2016's Rap Battle against Bowser, and the other being 2018's against Waluigi.
  • The music that 2017's Rap Battle is set to was made by PSY. The original song is Napal Baji.
v - e - d Songs
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