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Rap Battles, also called Stupid Rap Battles of Fat Italians, are a recurring event of the War of the Fat Italians series. The first one appeared in the 2015 episode and have appeared in every one that has come after it so far.

The battles are mainly between Mario and SMG4, but other characters have joined in the rapping as well.

Key: Mario (Mari0) - SMG4 - Bowser - Luigi - Fishy Boopkins - E. Gadd - Meggy - Bob - Waluigi - Saiko - Tari - Wario - X - Shroomy - SMG3 - Rob - Axol - Anti-Shroomy - Belle - Whimpu - Jub Jub - Luigi Doll - Ax0l/SMG0 - Melony - SMG2 - SMG1 - Crowd reactions, announcers, Miscellaneous characters

2015

2015 Rap Battle

It's-a me, Mario
I'm the best, don't you see
There's nothing better in this world except spaghetti
You think you've got the grooves of Mario's moves?
I'm sorry, but you don't even compare with my man boobs!
Hey, I kick the Koopa ass
And I save the princess, that's my Peach
Imma number one, and you suck [PINGAS biatch]!

Well, I didn't know being a fatty was so cool
Humping that spaghetti while you sit and drool
You keep eating spaghetti, always wanting more
But sorry, not me, I'm SMG4
You're supposed to be plumbing, doing other crap instead
While you just sit at home with Luigi in bed

You mother-f****er
What did you say?
Oh you dead now, imma make ya pay!
I'll get two chopsticks and shove them up your ass

Uhh, no sorry, I think I'll pass

You sit at home all day on your PC like no end
You think that would explain why you have no girlfriend
You think you got swag? Even if you're a hag?
Ha! Well, Mario's got it in the bag!

Girlfriend? Are you kidding? That's just rude
Considering your girlfriend is just a puddle of food
Look at my followers, who doesn't love me?
(Why not subscribe? It's totally free)
I think I win this one, Mario buddy
Why not go home and hump some teletubbies?

(roars) YOU SON OF A BITCH!
(screams)

2016

2016's Rap Battle

Let's a-do this bitches, Mario's back to slay
You think you can beat me? I can rap all day!
Time to time, you try to beat my rhymes
But you're so bad, it should be a crime
You think you're funny, Mr. SMG4?
If you ask me, you're an SMG-snore!
Mario can help you from being a pathetic little nerd
But you know what they say - you can't polish a turd!

OOOOHHHH [from the rap battle parody]

Oh boy, it's time to wreck a fat italian
Maybe after this, I can get a big medallion
It can be a pendant of the man I really hate
Lazy, annoying, and overweight
You try and act so big while I'm already famous
While you're alone shoving spaghetti up your anus
Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show
Let me show you how a proper rap goes

(thud)
(laughs) What up, biotch?! You guys are lame. Time for the king of the Koopas to lay down some rhymes.

(laughs)
It's me, the king, the epitome of swagger
Here to wreck the nagging ass of you two braggers
Now watch me blow you away in a flash
As I showcase my army and my fat stacks of cash
(laughs)

Looks like the turtle decided to come out of his shell
But meh, whatever, I'm gonna send you to hell!
With my rhymes so hot that it will melt your face
Then after I take Peach home, maybe even to get to third base
Bowser, you're a joke. Have you seen the way you look?
You look like something a 2-year-old drew in a coloring book
You think kidnapping Peach is the way you'll come to power?
I think you should shower. Maybe she'll stay an extra hour

Oh boy, Mario, my fat italian foe
You trying to act cool? Well, that's a new low!
Move aside, fatso, cause Bowser rules the day
I'm big, I'm strong...
Don't forget he's gay!

Shut the hell up, you spaghetti loving freak
All you do all day is freaking streak!
Peach doesn't love you, your relationship is filled with lies
As soon as she sees me, her panties fly
Come on! What's wrong? Have a tug on my tail
Try to spin me around as I watch you fail (laughs)

Oh jeez, it's Bowser, I'm gonna need my glasses
Cause now this room has two giant asses
Why are you here? You're gonna give me a fever
Go back home and hump some Justin Bieber
You act like you're slick, you act like you're swanky
But the closest you'll get is the coolness of Frankie
Why do you even bother to act like a villan
When you only want Peach being Netflix and chillin'
Now hands in the air if you think Bowser is whack

(Crowd raises their hands)
There you go, Bowser, there's your feedback

SMG4. The star, the man of the hour
It's a shame that when you're fighting you just sit there and cower
Even Toad is better than you
If I were you, I'd be scared
Stay away from me even if you were prepared
I'm a ten-foot dragon, are you visually impaired?
Don't worry, cause no one really cared.
You think you're cool? Well, let me give you a pitch
You're worthless, pathetic and a downright bitch
All you fans think you're weird
And you bring shame to the word "glitch"

Shut up, Bowser! No one likes you! You're a mess!
How can Peach like you if you don't know how to dress?
You look like a dragon but you can't even fly
The person you made you must have been really freaking high
You're annoying, fat, and pretty much the bane of us all
Why don't you go home and swing on your Bowser Ball?

KO!
Nooo! I can't believe I shaved my legs for thiiiis...!
(high five)

2017

2017's Rap Battle

FIGHT!

S to the M to the G to the 4
That's a name I'm sure you've heard of before
Filled to the brim with rhythm and flow
A sexy ass man from head to toe
Now I don't want to mention, but just pay attention
Cause I'm about to kick your ass to the next dimension
If you think you're gonna win then you're deranged
Because ever since the beginning, nothing's changed
An overweight plumber won't ever stick
You need a man like me who's EXTRA THICC
Try and take a swing, but you'll never be the king
You're gonna be knocked out with a RING RING RING

Oh boy, you're back. Am I living a dream?
I get to re-destroy this stupid ass meme
What are you gonna do, you stupid dingus?
Sit at your computer and yell out "pingas"?
You're weak and pathetic and never athletic
Dr. Mario thinks that you're a diabetic
As you sit at your computer all day long
Doing crap all except expanding that dong
Now go home and cry to all your little fans
While me, Mario, I got much better plans
You're such a big fool, and this may sound cruel
But sorry, Glitchy, I've already won this duel

Ha! That's funny, we've only begun!
I've brought some help to show you how it's done!

Mario, my paesano, it's time to stop
If you keep this up, my ears are gonna pop
You do nothing with your life except saving Peach
How about you try some exercise or maybe even bleach
Sorry bro, but every diss here is true
Looks like for once, you're Player Two

Oh no, it's Luigi, I'm so afraid!
I can't stand losers whos never gotten laid
You rap like a mom, it's really freaking dumb
Just go back home and keep sucking on your thumb
Now I've got a rapper who you don't want to cross
C'mon, Fishy Boopkins, show 'em who's boss!

Hey SMG4! You're stinky and fat!
And, um... crap! I also hate your hat?
Ah, I'm sorry! That was really mean!
Ah man, it's not easy being green

I'm sorry, Fishy Boopkins, but that rap was invalid
Cause I'm not going to listen to some stupid salad
(Hey!)
Is this your best Mario? Cause it's sounding weak!
You're gonna end up adding to my winning streak
Here comes my next rapper, things are looking dire
Give it to 'em E. Gadd and spit hot fire!

What's up bitches, this is my rapping debut
Looks like this rap could use some higher IQ
Mario, there seems to be a lot of tension
Don't fret boy, have this new invention
Use this mic, it'll help you refute
(But that's only because it'll be on mute)

Shut up, you stupid wannabe Edison
Go home and take your old people medicine
Now I'm gonna need someone as cool as spaghetti
I need the one, the only, the badass Meggy!

It's such a shame!
You boys are lame!
Just raise your game, raise your game, baby
Never give up, yeah!

Woo what up bitches, it's Bob time!
Giving out hot beats like Busta Rhyme
Bitches get ready, here comes the hook
Check out my Instagram, SnapChat and Facebook

(What?)

2018

2018's Rap Battle

What's up losers, it's me Waluigi!
What? New opponents? Wah! Too easy!
You can't stop my powers, I'll snap you like a twig
I'll be dancing on your grace to this groovy dance jig!
You need the force of a million battalions
But the best you have is a dumbass italian
Think you can beat me? Rejection's perfection!
Drop the protection, give in to the infection!

Your obsession for rejection must be a weird complexion
The only power you have is making guys lose erections
Here's Mario's tip, go and cry to Wario
We'd all agree that'd be the best scenario
Don't wanna be rash, but your backstory's trash!
Having a tantrum cause you weren't put in Smash?
Have a sit down bro, it's time to go to class
Cause we're about to school your purple lanky ass

When will you ever come to your senses
You're a weakling disguised with demonic hexes
Hold on folks, things are getting tighter
You don't even qualify as a damn echo fighter
You just sound like noise pollution
Getting rid of you is the only solution
Come on now, your image is being defiled
You're like Nintendo's accidental child!

Oh, now my mercy has just departed
Now this is where things get really started!
You can't beat the power of my hypnosis
Come on Bob, give em' their diagnosis!

Oh crap bois
Bob is here
And Sakurai daddy just made him S-tier
Hold your pingas cause it's going to throb
When it lays its eyes on the magnificent Bob

Ooohhhh
Waluigi
Your tyranny nears its end

You're so mean!

You know, fighting's kinda lame
Why don't we all just play some games? (chuckles)

Your half-baked rhymes are clearly evident
Cause you're based on a meme too irrelevant
Your ass getting wrecked in a state of permanence
Looks like you're gonna have to end your turbulence

And in the red corner with an infinite weight
Here's a fat idiot who can't even look straight!
The only thing you can do is hump a pasta bowl
Just stay being useless while I take control

Listening to you is like a new form of torture
I liked it better when you were just a launcher
Perfect epitome of the word "miserable"
The annoyance you bring is definitely considerable

You impotent fool!
You think you're so cool?
Your YouTuber influence is super minuscule
You're just a tool
Mindless as you drool
Go back to your channel they call a cesspool

Waluigi!
Time to bring this to a close
Listen closely, cause this is how it goes
Now whenever your ugly face is rejected
Your powers seems to be greatly affected

There has to be one person left that likes you
Sounds crazy right? But it has to be true!

What? That's impossible!
Why do you persist?!
Such a twist certainly can't exist!

Waluigi
I am here to say I'm sorry
I should treat you better
And I'll never reject you

2019

2019's Rap Battle

All right guys, I think you two insulting each other is overrated.
So instead, we're just going to have a nice sing-along together where we'll be COMPLIMENTING each other on our game skills. Okay?

Games with Mario?
Yeah, I'd rather quit
Actually, he'll do that when we play Wii Fit
You know what, let's sit back and watch him rage
As he spams his moves and falls offstage

Bro, your FPS flair is just a joke
You trying to aim is like having a stroke
How about Mario Kart
What do you reckon?
Because when you play with me (Oh my god!)
You won't survive a second

Okay, this isn't really working, it seems
Discuss co-op games, work together as a team

If that's gonna happen, I don't want to be alive

I brought poison for two!

WOO-HOO! High-five!
You know, I'm happy that games keep you home
Or else you might give someone your third chromosome

It's good that you play games with lost of dating
Cause if you tried the real thing
You'd never see it coming

(dance break)

Okay, this is becoming more of a mess
How about Animal Crossing to relieve some stress?

All the poor villagers would all lose their sanity
As they'd have to endure this crime against humanity
Mario's more suited to the world of Splatoon (Woomy!)
Where he can roll around in paint and eat paint like a goon
The simple answer is: Your IQ is draining
Just stick with Dr. Kawashima's brain training

Bro, why do you think you'll be taken so seriously
When honestly, your face looks like an Earthbound enemy
You talk down all lowly but play games to slowly
That's why all the princesses want Mario's ravioli
Sure, have fun in your cute game of Pokemon
But try anything else, you're gonna get dunked on

This is so frustrating
Why all this hating?
Is there seriously no game that'll stop the debating?

You need a game with lots of Uzis

No no, a game with waifu boobies!

A drawing game will help you be more inclined
Show your drawing skills and...
Wait... never mind

Be sure to take breaks in interval, guys!
Playing games for too long can strain your eyes

You gotta play fighting games
Tear each other's skin!
Wait!
Actually, let me join in!

I know you two are feeling uneasy
That's why you should play games with more LUIGI!

No.

Mario, just go home
All you do is annoy
While I'm the Switch, you're the Virtual Boy
Mr. Game and Watch, show us the score
Mario:

(Mr. Game and Watch shows 0)

SMG4:

(Mr. Game and Watch shows 9)

I'm sorry, bro
I know you want more
But don't be salty about your beaten highscore
Stop being a child
Go put on your big trousers
Mario's gonna win
So long, gay Bowser

You guys got ten seconds to compliment each other
Or I'm gonna be making you scream for your mother!

Hey man, what's with all this sass?

Yeah dude, what got up your ass?

Activating instant kill.

Oh God! Mario! I'm sorry for talking smack!

You too! Uhhh... I think you make a great snacc!

(explosion)

2020

2020's Rap Battle

Sorry lads, game's ending early
I'm a power hungry man in a bit of a hurry
With all these rules, you expect me to comply?
Here's a rule called
YOU'RE GONNA DIE!

You can't even compete, so try and hit delete
While we kick your ass to this really sick beat
The worst you could do is write a mean tweet
So shut up and just admit defeat

It's SMG3, YouTuber wannabe
A big disappointment guarantee
Still a huge failure with all your plans
Just shut up, go home, and make an Onlyfans

How dare you; This is war
It's time to even the score
Your painful deaths are overdue
Come and attack them all, my crew

I am a chad cause I eat corn
You are a virgin who just views porn

What I watch is a mystery
Cause I clear my internet history

You guys are all fake, you have no appeal
While people love weegee, L is real

A green inbred with a pear-shaped head?
Yeah, no thanks, I'd rather be dead

We're next gen, you're old news
We get much more YouTube views

You're so mean and as cold as ice
Aw, sorry, that wasn't very nice

OK, enough
My ears are stinging
Too much singing
Not enough killing

Oh
(Awoawoawo)
(Awoawoawo)
Guys, please stop fighting
There's only one true foe
Using you to grow
It's SMG3!

Using them for his own gain?
Ooh Meggy, you big brain!

Thanks Red, I'm sure they're nervous
No problem Meggy, at your service

Yeah, he doesn't care about you!
He promised me a big waifu
To all of you, I bet he's so rude
Oh my god, that's so true my dude

Jub jub
Jub jub jub

Weegee weegee weegee
That's right, he's really not that slick
He's just a massive prick

You guys can't honestly believe these clowns
I'm one of the nicest guys in town
I'm always showing love and humanity
With some good ol' fashioned verbal profanity

Sorry man, I'll make this fast
No one likes a man with a stick up his ass

All right people, time to quiz
Find out who he really is

You treat your workers with no respect
You guys don't earn it, last I checked
Oooh sorry, that's not helping your case
Try again with a little more grace

You promised us wealth and fame
I don't recall making that claim
It's over bro
Time for your demise
Everyone sees straight through your damn lies

FINE!
I don't need any of you swines,
The power of this remote will be all MINE!!

(short battle montage)

A manipulative lying piece of trash
Whose life is about to end in a crash
And I'm pretty sure the world can agree
That man's name is SMG3!

2021

2021's Rap Battle ("Zero")

Time ticks down and fades all our sorrow
3, 2, 1, 0
Your perilous wraths
At the end of its path

Your pleas are all in vain
All that I know is pain
Don't blame me if you all yell
Down in my special hell
As I tear your lives apart
To begin my fresh new form and hit restart

Hello fellow friends
I heard deaths a great new trend
Why care and love in life
When we all know it's the end
Don't be scared, copy me
Off your head and let’s be free
Cmon guys, join the club
We offer free spaghetti

Mario, cmon man quit
You must snap out of it
Flurry of threats and weak attacks
Won't stop us in our tracks
Where's the fatso we all know
Our great big friend not a foe
The biggest idiot of the show
With an ass so thicc, thicc as dough

Well I think that
Sweet talk made me want to die
That's how you kill a god?
You gonna try and make me cry?
Cmon lads let's step it up
And use all of our big brains
Cause I know there's a much
Smarter way to win this game

Sorry bro this might hurt
We'll make sure it's fast and quick

Lol no it's gonna feel like
Being hit right in the dick

We're coming don't you wait
We'll put an end to your fate


NO STOP
I MUST ELIMINATE

Relinquish your grip on our hero
3, 2, 1, 0
Feel your control decay away
Oh what a dark day

The sun shines bright with nothing but fading fear
Oh the end is near

Impossible
Prepare to be deleted
DELETED

Ah sorry, this is whack
You call this a finishing attack?
Sending out your stans
That's your plan? Come on man

You misconstrue
The full extent of my deadly power
Now go rot in this moment
That I dub your final hour

Zero we've sacrificed
All too much just too leave
And now it's time to turn the tides
With this ace up our sleeve

You don't scare me with this
Old, dated and weak technique
Stand down now and let ol' Zero
Give the death you seek

Can't let you do that
Cause it's our turn to end your fun

Time to repent for the
Massive sins that you've done

NO STOP LET ME THROUGH
Out of my way
Grr wait!,
I can't let that
Fat Italian mutate

Oh boy you can feel it
Do you feel the terror loom
That's cause your about to enter
Mario's Tunnel of Doom
Ladies and gents
Now it's time to finish off this foe
Are you ready?
Lets-a go!

あなたの最後は今よ (Your last moment is now)
3, 2, 1, 0
あんたに勝ち目は無い (You don't stand a chance)
だからグッバイ (So goodbye)

You dare oppose me
Now death is what you’ll face
Erased with no trace
Welcome to my world of despair and sadness

Sorry to bother your heartbreak
But you just made your final mistake
Release our friend and return him to us!
The curtains lower, applause signs glow
It seems like it’s the end of your show
Oh here we go
3, 2, 1, 0!

Trivia

THAT BAFOON!.jpg "THAT BAFOON!"
This article, transcript, or section is incomplete and needs to be completed. Any user is obliged to do so.
  • 2015's Rap Battle is the only one that is just between Mario and SMG4; the rest have featured other characters.
  • 2016's Rap Battle introduced Bowser as a surprise "boss battle", making it the first instance where another character joins the rap.
  • 2019's Rap Battle is the first, and currently only, to feature X as one of the rappers.
  • Weirdly, the rap for WOTFI 2021 seems to have a genre more on singing rather than rapping, as most of the lyrics are sung by Meggy, Ax0l, Melony, SMG4 and SMG3.
  • There have been four "Boss Battles": the first being 2016's Rap Battle against Bowser, the second being 2018's against Walu-Rambo (& Bob), the third being 2020's in The Glitchy Gang against Anti-Cast, which changes in the second half to Everyone against SMG3 and the fourth being everyone verus SMG0 and Mari0. In these cases, Mario & SMG4 will team up against the bosses.
  • The music that 2017's Rap Battle is set to is Napal Baji by PSY.
  • The music that 2018's Rap Battle is set to is Picture Perfect B-Side (Remix) from A Hat in TIme.
  • The music that 2019's Rap Battle is set to is Move Like This by Jules Gaia.
  • 2020's Rap Battle is the first to feature SMG3.
  • The rap battles for 2020 and 2021 are the second and third songs to have been originally composed for the SMG4 series, Darkest Hour being the first.
  • 2020's Rap Battle callbacks to the stages of the previous Rap Battles. (Tari and Belle rapped on 2015 and 2016's Smash Stage, Luigi and Anti-Shroomy rapped on 2017's Boxing Ring, Bob and Rob rapped at 2018's location and SMG3 stood on 2019's stage.)
  • 2018, 2020 and 2021's Rap Battles that are part of WOTFI 2018, 2020 and 2021 are the only ones so far to be part of arcs: The Waluigi Arc, The YouTube Arc and The Genesis Arc.
    • Consequentially, 2018 and 2020's rap battles begin after the final challenge is interrupted and doubles as a fight to the death (In 2018's WOTFI, Tari interferes with the challenge, causing Waluigi's Staff of Rejection to break. After everyone reunites, Waluigi starts the rap. In 2020's, SMG3 abruptly ends the final challenge by threatening to kill Boopkins if he didn't get the YouTube Remote. Once he claims it, he starts the rap.).
    • The 2021 Rap Battle is considered the darkest as it is the only rap to have a character's death involved before, during or after it.
  • 2021's Rap Battle is the first one that has an official name: "Zero."
  • The 2021 rap battle is the first to have Saiko rap or sing in intelligible Japanese (she sang in English in Darkest Hour, and gibberish in the 2019 and 2020 rap battles).
  • The 2020 rap battle is the one with the most singers (15), followed by 2021's with 12.
  • Meggy didn't sing in 2019's rap battle, but has sung in every other since her debut.
  • Despite the WOTFI being video game themed (and her involvement in it), Tari didn't sing in the 2019 rap battle either.
  • Rob, Boopkins and Shroomy didn't sing in 2021's Rap Battle.
  • When 2020's rap battle is released in streaming platforms like Youtube Music or Spotify it's titled as Youtube Arc Wotfi Rap.
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