This page is the transcript for Ssenmodnar 0.
[SUPAH MARIO SUPAH PUPPET SHOW! text appears on the screen with paper cutouts of Mario and Luigi on popsicle sticks.]
Mario: Hey, Luigi!
Mario: Knock, knock!
Mario: Jamaica! Jamaica me coo-coo! Jamaica me coo-coo crazy!
[Laugh track plays, cuts to the show being aired on a television in the Castle.]
Mario (watching the TV): HAHAHA! I GET IT! YOU GUYS ARE SO CLEVER!
[Cut to a door being opened by SMG4]
[Mario turns around]
Mario: How about no?
[SMG4 hits Mario with a rock, SMG4 laughs before Mario hits SMG4 with the TV]
Mario: Great! Now the TV is broken AND it has crappy shows! Looks like it's time for...MARIO'S SEXEH UPGRADE!
[Mario dances in front of the TV, grabs a wrench and a duck with Waluigi's hat, and begins to hump the TV while text above him says, "Disclaimer: Mario has no idea what he's doing."]
Mario: Well, that didn't work at all...
Mario: Welp, time to eat my newly made SUPAH SPICY SPAGHETTI!
[Mario eats the spaghetti, but then starts to complain about the spaghetti being hot and punches the spaghetti, which hits the TV, apparently fixing it.]
Mario: Oooh! The spaghetti fixed the TV!
SMG4: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!
[Cuts back to the SUPAH MARIO SUPAH PUPPET SHOW!]
Mario (puppet): ...the heck out of me!
[Static appears for a short second, then the show reappears.]
Mario: Luigi! Give me your PINGAS!
[Mario and Luigi puppets begin fighting each other, with a satisfied Mario watching the TV while SMG4 explodes.]
[The camera zooms in on the TV, then text shows up and reveals SSENMODNAR 0's title card.]
Skit #2: SMG4 is talking to somebody over the phone.
SMG4: ...uh no mail. Uh hang on, Is doctor weird?
Mario: MY @$$ HAS FINALLY DECIDED TO EAT MY HAAANNDDD! [Mario breaks his arm] It hungers, for more... [Mario implodes, only showing his torso.]
Toad: Making my way downtown, with my bitch (Toadette), and she's going to make me a sandwich.
[Toad mocks the instrumental segment of the music while knocking Toadette aside.]
Skit #4: A purple two-horned monster faces off against MarioMario54321 in a battle on the Final Destination stage from Super Smash Bros. Melee.
Monster: All living things kneel before your master! I will become the ultimate overlord who will rule the world--
[An explosion interrupts the monster, and Dr. Eggman appears.]
Dr. Eggman: Everybody shut up! I have an erection!
Skit #5: Wario is driving on the Rainbow Road course from Mario Kart 64.
[Wario attempts to hop over the guard rail and land on a later portion of the track below, but falls short of the landing.]
Wario: Oh, shit!
[Scene cuts to two Bob-ombs seeing Wario, but mistaking him for a shooting star.]
[Wario panics and screams while he flies through the air and catches on fire.]
Skit #6: Mario is shown laughing before saying "Pingas!"
Skit #7: Shy Guy walks into the "Toast Emporium" while yelling his upbeat "YEAH, TOAST!" At first, he is delighted by the sight, but then runs into Po wearing a piece of toast on his head, causing Shy Guy to back away from him, only to press a button on the cabinet shelves behind him, and turns around to see a piece of toast with SpongeBob Squarepants' face.
SpongeBob toast: I love you!
[Shy Guy panics even more as he sees toasters, "100% more healthy" toast, and finally snaps when he sees a fat Shy Guy wearing a piece of toast on his head along with a skirt around his torso.]
Skit #8: PewDiePie's facecam is superimposed to gameplay footage of someone using a physics gun and forcing Mario to rub his hand on Luigi's rear end.
[Cut to Mario, who is irritated by the sight.]
Mario: WHAT IS THIS?!
Skit #9: Moments with Steve: How to get the ladies.
Steve: Hi, guys!
[Scene cuts to Rosalina talking with Toadette.]
Rosalina: Oh, my God, Stacey. You know that date with this dude last week?
Toadette: Yeah, see? He's so cute!
Rosalina: I know, it's...[inaudible as the scene fades out.]
[Scene fades into Rosalina having dinner with Steve, who is singing "Ding, Fries are Done"]
Rosalina: He has such a way with words...
Steve: Hey, can I sing a song for you?
Rosalina: Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo!
[Steve begins singing]
Steve: ♪ Show me your genitals. Genitals. (What?) ♪
Steve: ♪ Show me your genitals. Genitalia! ♪
[Repeat first line and second line before Steve stops singing.]
Steve: Dat ass...
Rosalina: Can you be the father of my babies?
Steve: LIKE A BOSS!
[Deal With It sunglasses are superimposed onto Steve's eyes.]
Skit #10: Mario and Luigi are having a conversation at the table in their home.
Luigi: Hey, Mario, did you ever know where a baby comes from?
Mario: Well, you see, Luigi, when a bright [word/phrases missing] puts his spaghetti load of [word/phrases missing] in Mama Mia's ravioli, a little bambino covered in [word not understandable] comes out 9 months later.
Luigi (now in derp mode): What does that have anything to do with babies?
Skit #11: Three Waluigi's shout "Wah!" before being interrupted by Luigi in the bottom right corner.
Waluigi: Waa! Waa! Waa!
[All the Waluigis attempt to attack Luigi but cannot do so due to being separated by two bars, one horizontal and one vertical, which split the screen into four corners.]