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THAT BAFOON! THAT BAFOON!
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This page is the transcript for SM64: Cooking with Bowser and Mario!.

Transcript

Bowser: Huh?

💥BOOM💥

Bowser: AH! JESUS CHRIST! OH F**-

Bowser: 🔥AAAAHHHH!! FIIIRRREE!!! FFIIIIRRREEE!!🔥

🔔[ding]🔔

Mario: GREAT!!

Bowser: 🔥(Illegible screaming for help)🔥

How to Cook: Spaghetti

Mario: 💢F***ER!!💢

NOPE. (x9) Mario: Wahhohohhough...

Bowser: LEROOOO-

Mario: -sh*t oh sh*- UWA-

Mario: -AAAAUUUUUOOOOO- De horror...

Bowser: While the spaghetti cooks. We'll be right back.

[Intermission] 🎶[brief excitable music]🎶

Mario: Oh... man... Mamamia... Now after about an hour. The spaghetti should be finished!

Bowser: Uhh... I can explain.😅

How to Cook: Yummy Mushrooms


Bowser: Or... a black guy.

Mario: Say what now?

Mario: No silly! These are Nintendo mushrooms! You got to believe!

Bowser: Believe in what?

Mario: Imagination.

Bowser: WHAT THE HELL IS DAT?!

Mario: Well let me tell you...

🎶[cheerful rock music]🎶

Mario: ♪Wen de mon hi-♪

Bowser: NOO!!! No singing! I'll just try this imagination.

Bowser: C'mon, c'mon! C'MON... ERGH! EEEEEERRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

Toad: Hello!!

Bowser: DOH SH***IT!!

Special Guest Cook!


Mario: This show is proud to present a special guest! Presenting Mr. Shy Guy!

Shy Guy: YYEEAAHH!

Mario: Mr. Shy Guy! What are you going to cook for us?

Shy Guy: TOOAASST!!

Mario: Wonderful!!

Bowser: This is stupid.

Mario: Gagah! Shh. Wahoo! Woopeeeee!

♪[intense music]♪

Shy Guy: YYYEEEEAAAAHHHH TTTTOOOOOAAAASSSTTT!!!!!

Mario: Great. Now we wait.

Bowser: Woopee...

Shy Guy: YYYEEEAAAHHH

🎶Doodoot doot doodoot doot.🎶

Mario: OH WAITWAITWAIT! COME BACK, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!?

Shy Guy: TOAS-AAAAAAAHHHH-

Bowser: Probably shouldn't have done this on the roof.

Mario: Yeah, ok. Thanks!

How to Cook: Mario's Special Dish

Steve: STEVE!!! Oh no. I mean Shy Guy.

Shy Guy: Dammit!

How to Cook: Umm... Err...


Mario: Dammit! I can't think of anything to cook!

Bowser: What about that special dish of yours?

Mario: That was just going to be a banana with a smiley face on it.

Toad: Do you want me to make you macaroni?!

Mario: NO!!💢 Cooking is hard and stupid... Why did we start this show again?...

Bowser: Come on Bowser. Think... Think of something that will make your buddy happy. What would Grandma Koopa say...

Grandma Koopa: Bring me a football helmet filled with cottage cheese!!

Bowser: Yeah I never understood my Grandma...

Mario: I got a perfect idea what to cook!

Bowser: Really? What is it?!

👹🎶{Music: Bowser's Message - Super Mario 64}🎶👹

How to Cook: A 1-Up Mushroom


Mario: This lesson is really simple! All you need is... A regular mushroom... and 1000000 volts of electricity!

Bowser: If you can make a 1-Up... You can keep on living forever!

Mario: Exactly! We go on the roof and put the mushroom to lightning.

🔉[low thunderclapping]🔉

Mario: Lightnings approaching! This is perfect!

Bowser: Mario! Does it even work?

Mario: I HAVE NO IDEA!!

Shigeru Lord: Mario!

Bowser: Aah sh*t.

Shigeru Lord: Mario, don't create the 1-UP.

Mario: Who the hell are you?

Shigeru Lord: I am you, from the future!

Mario: I'm Asian!?

Shigeru Lord: No, I'm just kidding. But really, don't do it! WOO WOO WOO.

Mario: Your're joking right?

Shigeru Lord: Does this look like a FACE THAT'S JOKING!?! I mean...dire consequences. Save yourself, Mario. Do it, Or you will DIIIIIIEEEEE!!

Shigeru Lord: Diiiiieeeee.... (Mario throws a rock at Shigeru befores he re-enters a portal) HORI SH*TU!!

Mario: Deal... with it!

Mario: 😱Hahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!! [far away]😱

Mario: Steve, do you have anything to do with this?

Steve: Lookadis!

Both Mario and Bowser: Ooooooooooohhhhhhh...

Mario: YOU PIECE OF SH*-

Shigeru Lord: WOO WOO WOO SCARY...

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