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Welcome to the transcript page of SM64: Mario learns to type. (those italic parenthesis means it's what the screen says)
Transcript[]
(SMG4 2016 intro)
(SMG4 gets out of the room while Mario falls down in the ceiling)
Mario: DunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDunDun DUN
(Mario then goes to SMG4's new PC, despite all the warning from the sign saying: No touchy!)
Mario: Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
(Mario boots up the PC and a google page opens)
Mario: Give me the spaghetti!
(The PC does nothing)
Mario: Hmmm, Mama Fucker!
(Mario clicks on the M key, a M appears on the screen)
Mario: Woah, Woah!
(Mario proceeds to type random stuff and Mario Head appears)
Mario Head: Oh oh, hello, it's-a me, Mario!
Mario: Oh my god, oh god, what the fuck, what the hell is that, why the hell is that, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Mario Head: And I'm-a going to thank you for choosing: Mario Teaches Typing, are you ready to learn?
Mario: Who are you people?
Mario Head: Okie Dokie, let's-a go!
(Mario learns to type)
Mario Head: You're gonna be typing, one letter at a time, I know you can do it.
Mario: No, just who the hell do you think I am?
Mario Head: Mario
Mario: Shit...
Mario Head: Come on, typing is-a fun, try it!
Mario: Hmmm... Right! Mamma Mia...
Mario Head: Okie Dokie, get-a ready to move your fingers!
Mario: Let's-a go! (a finger comes out of his glove) Yipee!
(Get Ready! 3 2 1 0)
Filthy Frank: Welcome to the rice fields, mother fuckers!
Mario Head: Begin Typing, now.
(Press A)
Mario: (panicking) Oh look! (Mario sees the windows key and think it's food) Ah, ravioli! Say, I'm-a hungry, Ah ah! (clicks on the windows key_
Mario Head: Wrong wrong wrong wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong!
(The PC explodes)
Mario: Oooooooh...
Mario Head: Uh-oh, we slipped a little bit, now let's get back in there and try real hard to get better eh.
Mario: (angry groaning)
(Press P)
Mario: toad! play me some intense music!!!
Toad: (start singing Pirate of the Caribbean theme)
(Mario is determined, steps back from the PC, and charges at it)
Mario: YOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Toad: (continues to sing)
(Mario smashes into the desk)
(Correct!!!!)
Mario Head: Right you are, motha fucka!
Mario: I'm a star, a great big shinning star, yay!
Mario Head: Nobody cares!
Mario: (is sad) Words can't bring me down!
Mario Head: Nobody cares!
Mario Head: Welcome to the intermediate level, you're going to be typing whole words now.
Mario: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Mario Head: If you're ready, go for it.
(Banana)
Mario: (panicking) B?! (groaning as he types it in)
Mario Head: That was fantastic! Okey-dokey, now we go to the advanced level!
(Bunch of words)
Mario: What?! (panicking, then brings out a Super Star) Here we go! (typing like crazy) Ooooohhh! Oooohh!
Mario Head: Holy fuck-amoli!
Mario: (eating spaghetti) Here we go! Yahoo!
(Level complete!)
Mario Head: You're getting faster! Keep it up!
Mario: Thank you very much! Thank you!
(Results: Words Entered: 9234612, Words spelled correctly: 0, Words spelled incorrectly: 9234612, Final results: You have parkinsons)
Computer: You suck, ya jackass!
(Mario rages)
Mario Head: Are your fingers getting tired? Mine would be by now, if I had any! Heeheeheeheehee!
Mario: (screaming) Get over here!
(Mario jumps into the monitor)
Mario Head: Hey, where did everybody go? Dafuq?
Mario: I ain't having any of that shit!
Mario Head: I've-a really enjoyed playing with you! Let's-a play, eh? Would you like to play Mario's Smash and Dash?
Mario: Oh yeah!
(Mario Head rams over Mario into a wall)
Mario: Oooooh...
Mario Head: Hey, you got a good joke for Mario?
Mario: Oh yeah! You're a face, you're a face, you're a face, you're a face, you're a face, you're a face!
Mario Head: (angered) It's-a time for you to DIE!
(TYPE IN: B, BANANA, Y, B, PINGAS, B, and some other words)
Mario: Woah! (panicking)
(Back in SMG4's room, Luigi enters)
Luigi: Mario! Mario! Hmm...
(From the monitor of the PC, the Mario Head is dropping words like bombs on the plumber)
Mario Head: When a moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie... Hey Luigi! It's time for you to type!
(Type the word in before it squishes Mario!: Mushroom)
Mario: Hmm? Woahohoh! (panicking) Hurry up already!
Luigi: This is stupid. (walks off)
Mario: Luigi! Mama Fucker! (The word squishes Mario, Back in the computer world...) Get me the heck outta here! (Exit spotted) Mama mia! Wah!
Mario Head: I'm-a gonna, [REDICATED] you!
Mario: Awawawawawawa! (legs caught by the Mario Head)
Mario Head: I got ya!
Mario: (while grasping onto the keyboard) No, I wanna go! (pulled back) Oof, mama mia!
Mario Head: Oh boy, look at that keyboard! I'm gonna poop on it!
(TYPE IT IN: MORE RANDOM WORDS!)
Mario: Woah! Mama! (yelling, types in all the words correctly) Hey, who's that behind you?
Mario Head: Whaaaaat?
Mario: Made you look! (Smashes the head over with the keyboard) Suck my dick! It's-a gonna be easier! Oh snap!
Mario Head: Grr, fine! Thank you so much for playing my game, fucker!
(TYPING GRADUATION)
Mario Head: Here he is, the biggest douche of the universe! In all of the galaxy, there's no bigger douche than you! You've reach the top, the pinnacles of douche-dom... good going douche, you dreams have come truuuuuue...!
Mario: Yeah, ha ha ha! (receives his certification for being a douche and typing horribly)
(The background drops to reveal a pissed-off SMG4, standing in front of his destroyed, blazing PC. Mario then looks behind to understand the current situation he is in right now before...)
Mario: Run bitch! (...he makes a run for it)
(VIDEO ENDS)