The following is the transcript for SM64 Bloopers: The Hangover made by SMG4.
Mario: Yknits, yeh! ("Hey, stinky!" backwards)
SMG4: oh...wa...what happened...why...does...my neck hurt...really badly... and...why the heck is there a hole in the floor?
SMG4: (voice dialogue) JESUS! (text dialogue) TOADSWORTH! WHY......are you a smurf?
Toadsworth: (voice) Dulududududududududul
SMG4: no wait! come back! can you explain-! ah screw it. hello?...anybody? help me? wait...mario?
(Cut to Po and Mario naked.)
Po: I'm sorry my love.
(Mario starts saying inaudible words, which causes Po to shoot him.)
SMG4: uhh...well it can't get any weirder than this at least.
(Cut to Bowser in a fairy costume.)
Bowser: I am pretty princess!
Bowser: Pretty little princess is here to KILL YOU!
SMG4: WHAT THE F*CK?!
SMG4: ok...umm well there's that...
SMG4: hey you! wait! stop!!!
Hagrid: Harry, you are a wizard!
SMG4: what!? no! go away!
(Luigi appears screaming in the form of a Yoshi egg.)
SMG4: wha- luigi? that you?
Luigi: (shivers) Help me!
SMG4: Don't worry Luigi! I'll get you out!
Shy Guy: OH MEH GED FOOD!!!!
SMG4: OH MY GOD!
(A Gourmet Guy crashes into Luigi. SMG4 evades him.)
(Cut to SMG4 in the background and Steve in the foreground. Steve is wearing Mario's clothes.)
SMG4: huh- steve!?
(Cut to Steve playing the Nintendo 64 against a demon. The demon is having a yellow controller while Steve has a grey one.)
Demon: come on! you think you can beat a demon god like me!?
(Cut to a TV, which shows they are playing Super Smash Bros. Steve is playing as Mario and the demon is Kirby. Kirby is defeated, initiating Game Set. Steve begins shouting the "Wombo Combo Shouts" meme. Cut back to Steve and the demon.)
Demon: GRRRRRRRRR (voice dialogue, throws off his N64 controller) DAMN IT! YOU MUST DIE!
(Cut to Steve being levitated.)
(Cut back to SMG4.)
SMG4: AH! STEVE!!!
(The camera changes angles and Steve is shown flying from the right side of the screen with SMG4 below him.)
Steve: YEAAAAAH!! (crashes into glass offscreen, presumably a window)
(Cut to the upper floor of the foyer. SMG4 is running from the door, while Toadsworth is flying past him laughing.)
SMG4: wow! jeez!! :O oh no peach!!!
(Cut to the lower floor of the foyer, where Peach has been stuffed into a cannon. SMG4 goes to the cannon.)
SMG4: what have they done to you!!! you became a plug! D:
(Cut to outside the castle.)
SMG4: man, what the heck happened in there? i don't even...
SMG4: god!....please give me answers!
(Helicopter noises while Yoshi flies past spinning his tongue in the air)
SMG4: That...was not helpful...
(SMG4 is startled by Mario screaming)
Mario (Offscreen) NOOOOOOOOOO!!
(SMG4 runs into the castle)
SMG4: Mario! You're not dead are you?
Mario: NO! EVEN WORSE! THIS TELETUBBIE LOVES ME!!
Mario: AND SINCE I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!
Mario: I MADE LOVE WITH A TELETUBBIE!
SMG4 (blank stare): Oh.
Mario: no! not oh! you know how ugly my babies will look!?
Mario (voice) Mamaf***
(Thought baloon is shown with Baby Mario. Baby Mario's head is replaced with a Teletubbie head.)
Mario (voice) WAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Teletubby begins singing "I love you, you love me.")
SMG4: ugh! i don't have time for this! i need to figure out what happened!
SMG4: come on....think...THINK!...
(SMG4's thoughts: Toadsworth is blue and laughing evilly while riding a Clown Car. Mario screams "Help me" in Peach's voice.)
(Back to the present...)
SMG4: wow! what...was that!? a memory? :O
Mario (running): Yeaaahahahaha
Teletubby (chasing): I LOVE YOU!
SMG4: oh... i'm close to remembering! come on...
SMG4: Mario! help me out! what's the last thing you remember?
mario: I last remember that I'M HUNGRY! >:(
(Po gives Mario PINGAS chips)
mario: ew! pingas chips! i'd rather have a cannon shoot my face than eat that pingas crap!
SMG4: cannon... pingas... crap...
DING! (SMG4 remembers something)
Toadsworth: ohh! look! more colourful buttons to press!
SMG4: CAN YOU STOP PRESSING SO MANY D*MN BUTTONS!?
Teletubby with wizard hat: GIT DAT MUTHAF***A!
(Cannon with naked mario inside comes out of Toadsworth's Clown Car.)
Mario (being shot out) WAAAAAAAAA!
SMG4 (back in present): oh yeah! that crazy toadsworth shot mario at me...
SMG4: it explains how i ended up unconscious
SMG4: in fact it makes things more confusing!!!
SMG4: how did i get here!? i need more to go on!
(Mario falls down a hole while running from the Teletubby)
SMG4: oh yeah... totally forgot about this giant hole here...
SMG4: wow...make that 3 holes...
(Mario is at the bottom of three holes)
Mario (voice) mamma mia...
SMG4: hmmm... I wonder what could have made it...
SMG4 (looking up): wait... is that the...
(A metal object is stuck to the ceiling)
(Ding, another memory)
(SMG4 and a Wizard Teletubby are riding a rocket)
SMG4: wait... is this a good idea!?
Teletubby (Heavy Weapons Guy voice): INCOMING!
(Rocket is launched and SMG4 screams)
(Rocket crashes into the ceiling and the duo fall out)
toadsworth?: oh boy! hi guys! seems you want to join me!
Teletubby (comic sans): (i needa save my girlfriend!)
Mario (voice): Wahh? No!
toadsworth?: ohh! look! more colourful buttons to press!
SMG4 (present): oh yeah! i rode a rocket with that stupid tubbie all the away from the basement...
(SMG4 jumps to the basement and lands on Mario)
Mario (voice): Ow! Mamma mia...
SMG4: now what the heck were we doing in the basement...
(Tubbie Wizard lands on Mario)
SMG4: hmmm... any clues?!
Hagrid: Harry do'se you're a wizard!
SMG4: nope...nothing at all...
Mario (to Tubby Wizard): go away! shoo! kiss my butt!
Tubby Wizard: Don't mind if I do!
(Mario screams and runs away)
(DING, a memory)
SMG4: Dude, why you got to be so fat HUH!?
Mario: shut up! you're just jealous of beautiful boobies that i have!
SMG4: look, let's just stop toadsworth with his weird cram and we can clean up the rest of this mess
SMG4: uh...who the heck is that?
Teletubby wizard (to Mario) (that's a nice butt you got there...) (mario voice) Can I have it?
Mario: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA NOO!
Tubby: GIMME DAT BUTT!
SMG4: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
Toadsworth (crashing through ceiling): HI GUYS!!!!! :dDdddddddddd
SMG4: toadsworth!! buddy! please get off thet thing and uhh...die!
(Toadsworth grabs Mario)
toadsworth?: LETS GO ON AN ADVENTURE MARIO! :DDDD
mario: AH! NO! PUT ME DOWN! HALP!
Tubby: NOOOOOOO (places rocket)
Tubby: (LETS GET MY BUTT BUDDY BACK)
Next editor: start at 4:50 in the video.