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SM64 Guides: Toadsworth's How to - Princess, more often simply called Toadsworth's How to - Princess, is a video of SuperMarioGlitchy4 made as a guide made by Toadsworth teaching the Princess Peach how to become a better Princess. However, most attempts in this guide fail, unsurprisingly.
Princess Peach gets the whole castle to herself so she starts to act non-princess-ey in the castle. Therefore, Toadsworth decides to give her his lessons again. But Peach already has Bowser kidnap her to avoid having to learn.
Toadsworth complains that princesses are polite around the table. Then he asks Princess Peach about to hold a fork in her left or right hand, but she can't answer. So he says that Peach should prove to him that she can do it. She accepts, but Peach eats hamburgers and he says "NO!", throwing Toad, causing her to be upset. Toadsworth says that princesses do not eat poor food, they eat top notch classy food, he then asks her to pass him a classy mushroom, but Peach throws him a poisoned mushroom, causing him to turn blue as he chokes and coughs. Peach says "SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!", (wearing swag glasses)
This lesson takes place outside Peach's castle. Toadsworth warns her that Bowser is always trying to snatch her! So that's why she should always play safely outside! Peach asks him how she should do it. He says that it's a good question and he let her show it. He wears a similar dress, even calling himself as Princess Toadsworth! But suddenly Bowser appears and snatches him! He thought that he finally caught the princess, Toadsworth appears, causing him to be scared and he drives uncontrollably before his ship explodes. Then Peach presses a easy button.
Now Toadsworth tells Peach that a princess must have elegance in the conversation! So he's invited someone to help her master it, but he actually invited Steve, causing her to be shocked. He calls him a royal prince Steve! He said "You two converse! I'm going to go back and watch!" She says hi to him, but he says "Ha-ha, pumpkins!" She giggles, but Bowser cries and runs away as he says "WHY?!"
Playing an instrument!
Toadsworth says that all princesses need to have a musical to wow their followers, Toadsworth then shows off that he can play the guitar. He then asks Peach if she can play an instrument, she replies with "Is Mayonnaise an instrument?" Toadsworth replies with "ummm...no". Peach then has an idea, and starts playing the piano. Toadsworth says "Fu*k this!" and then walks out.
Toadsworth states to the princess saying that she needs to improve the quality of her cakes. Mario also asks if he can help, Toadsworth then replies saying that he shouldn't. Mario mishears what Toadsworth said and believes that he said he likes the cake he baked (Which is on fire). Two Toads then stand near it asking what it's meant to be. Toadsworth says not to touch it, Mario then attempts to rip Toadsworth's face off. The Two toads are then shown eating the cake Mario cooked. After eating it, one grows a beard and the other one has its spots on its head replaced with a random face, leading both of them to freak out.
Toadsworth then explains to the princess that all princesses need to know how to sing, also asking her if she has seen any Disney movies. Peach says that she doesn't know if she can, Toadsworth replies saying to try it. Peach then precedes to sing, Toadsworth says to try harder and then begins to sing 'horribly' himself.
Getting stolen and saved
Toadsworth said to Peach that she must be stolen in style. He calls Bowser but he's still crying from what happened when Peach had a conversation with Steve. His grandma said "Pick up the phone!" but it only caused him to reply "SHUT UP Grandma!" and continue to cry. Toadsworth later said phone reception never works, and that he is now Evil Toadsworth. As his evil self, he tied Peach to a train track when Mario came and asked about the emergency because he needed to use the bathroom. Toadsworth said the Princess is in danger, but Mario says "Great, now where's the bathroom?" Toadsworth said aren't you going to save her? Mario said "BI#H DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE? NO!" Eventually, Luigi shows up and manages to save Peach from the incoming train, only to get run over when he started dancing on the train tracks. But even despite his heroic acts, Peach still runs towards Mario and calls him her "hero," leaving Luigi disappointed as he gets run over by another train on the same track.
MORE PRINCESS STUFF!
Peach said that she had enough of this, but Toadsworth wasn't pleased and said that we aren't done. Peach said you can't tell me what to do your not my father! Toadsworth says your right but, he starts to sing "I'm not your daddy I'm your grandpa!" Peach got really pissed off and kick him out of the castle, he said fine I will be the perfect princess he put on a dress and Bowser took him and rode into the moonlight.