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This is SMG4: All Mario Wants Is Absolute π π π¦ π π‘'s official transcript.
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[SMG4 Intro]
(One day in Omnia Academy...)
(The Bully got a boot for lunch?)
Bully: Mwa!
Bully: Delicious!
Meggy: Oh boy, mystery meat once again. What did you guys get?
(Melony walks to the table with a muffin)
(The muffin appears to have legs?)
(Melony drops her tray out of fear)
Melony: AAAH!!
(Melony's muffin was running around until Mario ate it by putting out his tongue to reach the muffin)
(Mario doesn't look too happy)
Boopkins: Aw man, my food's eating me again!
Mario: Why doesn't someone fix the food around here?!!!!?!
Meggy: It's the student president, he's in charge of what food is served here.
Kermit: Due to budget cuts, school lunch has been changed to...
Kermit: ...whatever I find in this garbage bin!
Kermit: Yahoooo!!
(...)
Mario: YOU CAN TAKE YOUR FREEDOM!
Mario: (Stands on table) YOU CAN TAKE OUR RIGHTS!
Mario: BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE...
Mario: OUR LUNCH SELECTION!!
(...)
Bully: Hoo hoo! Yeah you suck!
Kermit: You dare challenge me...
Mario: Yeah! I'm gonna run for president instead!
[JoJo scene moment]
(Kermit and Mario are screaming through their megaphones)
Mario: (Screams in Kakyoin's ears with his megaphone) HEY YOU! VOTE FOR MARIO!
(Kakyoin's head flies away)
Kermit: My cousin is here to tell you why you should vote for me.
(Kermit's cousin slaps a ruler)
(Mario and Kermit continue screaming in their megaphones)
(Meggy, Boopkins, and Melony are looking at them awkwardly)
Meggy: This is uhh... kinda sad
Boopkins: Come on guys! We gotta help Mario!
Meggy: Do we... actually want Mario to be president?
Boopkins: Well...I don't want to be president, and he's better than Kermit being president.
Box Club Leader: You are NOT our messiah! We won't vote for you!
Kermit: Oh yeah? Can your messiah do this?
(Kermit starts doing rad dance moves)
(...Aaand then kicks Mario in the nuts)
Mario: (Boat drifting off intensifies)
(Mario screams in pain and Kermit continues to dance)
Meggy: Oh no!! (Starts realizing)
Meggy: You're right...
Meggy: Boopkins, grab some fliers.
Meggy: Melony, call for backup.
Meggy: Time to make Mario president!
(Meggy is in the middle of the hallway advertising various students to vote for Mario as the school's president)
Meggy: Hey would you like to-
Meggy: (Sigh)
Meggy: Um...oh, excuse me-...
(Scout opens his locker, only to find Boopkins)
Boopkins: Excuse me, could I interest you in-
(Scout shuts his locker door)
(Boopkins walks directly to Meggy)
Boopkins: Aww Meggy, it's no use..
Boopkins: Nobody cares..
Meggy: I read in a book once that in political advertising you have to be aggressive.
(Boopkins gets really interested)
(Winnie the Pooh was just walking down the halls until he encounters Boopkins)
Boopkins: Hey you! Take a flier or I'll give you a smack!
Winnie the Pooh: ...
Boopkins: I don't think that worked....
Meggy: Hmm... Or was it more relatable...
(A student was walking while using his phone until Meggy, who is apparently filled with the power of memes, advertises him to vote Mario for president)
Meggy: Hold up, Wind ding ding, ding ding ding ding, ding, ding! Did I just see that you're in r/pewdiepie? (Inhale) A FELLOW 9 YEAR OLD?!
(Bass Boosted Vine Boom)
Meggy: Now, this is epic
[pls kill me]
Student: Do u know da wae?
Student: If you want to sit next to me, that'll be,
Student: Wholesome Poggers π― T-pose
Student: Oh, anyways, seeya on the flip!
Student: (Walks away) Bruh (8x)
Meggy: Oh god what has SMG4 done to me.
(Dr. Kawashima wanders around the hallway until he hears Boopkins)
Kawashima: ?
Anime Boopkins: I want you to have this~! But it's not like I like you or anything, baka!! (what -CorruptedGalaxies)
(Kawahima smashes Boopkins with his hand)
Boopkins: Nothing's working Meggy...
(The student is in front of them and is saying "Bruh" repeatedly)
Meggy: Yeah... I guess we're just not cut out for this
Boopkins: Let's just give up..
Melony: HEY!!!
Meggy: (Turns her back) Huh?
(The 2 spot SMG4, Melony, and Bob in front of them)
(It seems that Melony has finally got some backup)
Melony: BACKUP!
SMG4: So I heard you needed views?
(Mario is standing in front of a greenscreen with Meggy recording him)
SMG4: Ok, Mario we're about to broadcast you live to all of Omnia Academy
Bob: jUsT mAkE a BuNcH oF fAlSe PrOmIsEs AnD pEoPlE wIlL vOtE fOr YoU!
SMG4: Alright you're live in 3...2...1
(Mario starts talking like Michael Jordan)
Mario: I'm Michael Jordan, McDonalds restaurant
(Mario continues talking as SMG4 zooms the camera more)
Mario: I'm gonna talk about something we both really care about.
Bob: tHiS iSn'T eXcItInG eNoUgh. HeRe, LeT mE dO sOmEtHiNg.
(Bob messes up the camera)
Mario: Many of you using drugs out there now, are under 18
SMG4: Hey stop what are you doing? (SMG4 pushes Bob)
(SMG4 gets pushed away by Bob's leg)
Mario: You really can be- (Static sound) Joe's Barbecue and Foot Massage! Joe's Barbecue and Foot-
(The TV distracts the students and they try checking it)
Mario: You like to eat? America loves to eat!
Mario: So why not open up somewhere American to sit down, enjoy your meal, and get this-
Eggman: MONKEY!!
Eggman: MONKEY, I WANT THE MONKEY!
(SMG4 and Bob start fighting)
Bob: StOp It yOu BiG bOoTy BuTtHoLe, I aM tRyInG tO-
(Mario's advertisement continues and everyone is confused)
(SMG4 and Bob continue fighting)
(Questionable things are appearing in the Omnia Academy TV)
[TECHNICALY DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY]
Meggy: Let's... lets just move onto the next plan.
(Mario is on top of a car sitting on a throne)
Mario: ITS-A ME, POPE MARIO
Boopkins: Melony, I didn't you could drive!
Melony: Hehe, I can't.
Boopkins: Oh.
Meggy: Guys, we have a problem.
Kermit: Vote Kermit! I met Obama so I'm basically a president already!
Bully: No, vote for me! I have zero experience!
Meggy: No one's paying attention.
Boopkins: Oh! There should be a button that should help with that!
(Melony looks at the buttons and is utterly confused)
(No one can clearly tell which is which)
(Melony presses the Nut button)
Mario: Ima the super- (Fire starts appearing in Mario's throne)
(Mario is burning)
Meggy: WRONG BUTTON WRONG BUTTON!
(Melony is panicking and presses the Do Not Press button)
(It just plays Megalovania on the loud speakers)
Mario: OOOOOH!!
(Mario dances to the music)
(While the students are about to walk away, they heard the music)
(Now most of the student's attention are focused on Mario)
Student: DANCE FOR ****!! DANCE FOR ME!!
(Boopkins dances in the car)
Meggy: Turn it up!
(Melony makes the music louder)
(Now every student is going directly to Mario's car)
(Kermit is shocked)
Kermit: Get that motherf*cker!
SwagMaster6969696969: You got it boss
(Melony was waving to the students until he heard SwagMaster)
Melony: Huh?
SwagMaster6969696969: Swiggity Swooty, stop this illegal display of booty.
(Melony is shocked and does not know what to d)
Box Club Member: BOO YOU STINK!
(Melony spots The Bully)
Bully: You're scared of him?
Bully: I knew you were a baby
(Melony starts to get angry and shows her best to The Bully)
SwagMaster696969696969: YOUUU SHALL NOT PAASSSS!!!
(Melony hits SwagMaster with her car in a slow way)
SwagMaster6969696969: ow
(It's the final hope)
Boopkins: Aw man...This is our last hope..
Melony: What's happening?
Meggy: Mario's campaigning is almost done
Meggy: Now Mario just needs to deliver a speech on why he should be president
SMG4: Welp - We're f*cked.
(Mario, wearing a suit, walks on the stage nervously)
(Mario looks at Kermit for a second)
(Mario tests the microphone and prepares his speech)
Mario: If Mario is elected president...
Mario: Err...
Mario ...there will be more spaghetti for everyone!!!
(The audience cheers)
(Meggy, Melony, and SMG4 sighs of relief)
Mario: F*ck you look at me go!
Kermit: Ahem.
Kermit: I'm Kermit the frog.
(The audience cheers louder)
(Mario gets quite jealous of Kermit and says a certain sentence)
Mario: Virginity is cool.
Kermit: Ratatouille, cook me dinner, you f*cking useless rodent!
(The audience cheers louder and louder)
Mario: Penis.
(The audience is cheering really loud)
Kermit: Hello. I am Mr. Beast Gaming.
(The audience is really loud)
(..So loud that they exploded from excitement)
Mario: Aw hell no.
Kermit: Not bad, kid. You've been a worthy opponent.
SwagMaster696969696969: WELL NOW ITS ALL DOWN TO YOU FOLKS!
SwagMaster696969696969: WHO WILL IT BE?
SwagMaster696969696969: The very cool and sexy Mr. Kermit the frog
SwagMaster696969696969: Or this idiot
(Microwave noises)
SwagMaster696969696969: Vote on your phones. NOW!
(Everyone stares at their phones and picks a student of their choice)
(Meggy clicks Mario)
(A student clicks Kermit)
(Bob is playing Flappy Bird instead of voting)
(Steve clicks Mario)
(The Bully is asleep, and his phone falls behind him.)
(Mario is utterly anxious)
(Kermit is quiet)
(...)
SwagMaster696969696969: Ok! That's it times up!
SwagMaster696969696969: And the new president of Omnia Academy is...
(Chris plays the drumrolls)
(Mario is anxious)
(SMG4, Meggy, and Melony are worried)
SwagMaster696969696969: ...oh, my God, I don't believe it.
SwagMaster696969696969: Mario wins.
(Mario is filled with joy)
Mario: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MA GGGGAAAAAA-
Mario: I DID IT!!! I DID ITTTTT!!!
Mario: (Hits Kermit) I WON I WON I WOOON!!!!
Kermit: It's not that easy being green. (Grabs a noose)
SwagMaster696969696969: Congratulations Mario. Now as official president of Omnia academy...
SwagMaster696969696969: ...what will be your first act of duty?
Mario: FREE SPAGHETTI FOR EVERYONE!!!!
(The audience cheers)
Kermit: How are you going to do that?
Kermit: The presidential council has a total budget of $0
Mario: Hmm...
Mario: Mario will...
Mario: TAX THE POOR!!!
(...)
Mario: And...uh...and...
Mario: Mario will...eat some...spaghetti?
Boo: I think my brain just committed suicide.
(The audience doesn't like Mario's idea)
Mario: WHAT?! YOU CAN'T BOO ME! I'M YOUR PRESIDENT!
Mario: DETENTION FOR ALL!!!
(Now everyone is upset and attacks Mario)
(Mario is tied on a cross in front of the school entrance and students are angry)
Meggy: Well... that went exactly as expected
Kermit: You don't understand the burden of leadership
Kermit: People just want power. They don't understand what it truly takes to lead your people to a better world
(Meggy, Bob, Boopkins, Melony, SwagMaster, and Chris are confused)
Kermit: Er I mean...
Kermit: I'm Kermit the froooog
[SMG4 Outro]