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This page is the transcript for SMG4: Detective Mario & Pikachu.
Lords Mobile Promo[]
Luke: Hey you SMG4 fans! SMG4 & Kevin here! Just a quick message before we start the video.
Kevin: This video is sponsored by Lords Mobile. We've partnered with them to give YOU guys $100 in in-game credits! And all you need to do is download the game, right? (Beat.) And apply the code 'SMG4'!
Luke: Using this code will also give you, a chance to win an iPhone X!
Kevin: But Luke, what is Lords Mobile?
Luke: Oh well, okay, let's talk about it! Lord's Mobile is a real-time strategy mobile action game (Mario: Woah!) where you can collect many different heroes through the quest! Level them up with trophies and create teams to fight and conquer your opponents!
Kevin: OHHHHH!
Luke: The stronger your human becomes, the stronger your kingdom and armies become! Download it now on Android and iPhone using our unique code! Links and info are in the description.
Kevin: Go enjoy the video now!
Luke: LET'S-A GO! WAHOO! (Luke flies backwards off his seat.)
Scene 1[]
(One fine day at the Mario Bros. residence, Mario is emerging from the basement.)
Mario: Ah, finally, all done! (He brings out... a plate of spaghetti that is covered in dust, most likely beyond rotten, and it looks like it hasn't seen the light of day in years.) I also can't believe I still got some basement spaghetti down there! :D
(Just as he's about to eat it (And no doubt get very sick), a loud crying shakes the ground, knocking him down. He gets up and looks around. Thinking nothing of it, he goes back to his "meal", only for the crying to return.)
Mario: Goddammit! Who is that!? (He leaves.)
Scene 2[]
(Mario makes his way to Bowser's castle.)
Mario: Bowser? What is that fatass crying about now?
(He goes in.)
Mario: Shut it, Bowser! Some people are trying to do important things!
(Bowser continues crying while Kamek tries to calm him down.)
Mario: What's wrong? Did he find out he had another child?
Kamek: No! Someone stole Lord Bowser's statue...
(Indeed, the pedestal that used to hold a statue is now holding nothing.)
Mario: Shut up, you're just full of sh!t, aren't y- (Bowser knocks him over and continues his crying fit.)
(Mario gets angry over Bowser's constant sobbing when suddenly, the door noisily opens. The trio look on to see...)
Detective Pikachu: Have no fear! Detective Pikachu is on the case!
Mario: IT'S PIKACHU!
(A battle commences.)
Mario: I choose you! Go!
(Mario throws out Pengaz, but they both get zapped. Mario is burnt black while Pengaz was turned into a turkey dinner.)
Detective Pikachu: Back off, bucko. What's the big idea?
Bowser: (In total fanboy mode) OOOH, IS THAT THE WORLD FAMOUS DETECTIVE PIKACHU?!
Kamek: Yeah! I called him over from Pokemon Land as soon as this happened!
Detective Pikachu: Let's have a little looksie, shall we?
(He looks over the pedestal while Bowser continues fanboying over him. Mario isn't liking this one bit.)
Kamek: Oh, I know how you feel. Why can't Bowser look at me like that? :D
Mario: Hey, you stupid yellow rat! You can't diss Mario like that!
Detective Pikachu: Damn, there doesn't seem to be-
Mario: Pfft, Mario is a much better detective than you! I'll let you know Mario has solved many dangerous cases before!
(Flashback. Mario is looking over a dead body on the floor.)
Mario: There's only one person who could have done this murder... YOU!
(Mario points at Jeff the Killer SMG4.)
SMG4: WHAT?!
Mario: It's you! 'Cause I hate you and you beat me in Smash yesterday!
SMG4: OH, COME ON!
Mario: Don't question my logic!
(Flashback ends.)
Mario: Now let the real detective investigate!
(Mario examines the pedestal.)
Mario: (Giving up while not noticing the maple leaf on his head) Well, I've done all I can do.
Detective Pikachu: HEY! Hold up! (He snatches the maple leaf.) A maple leaf...? There's only one place with... (He hurries out the door.) I got sh!t to do...
Mario: Hey! I'm the one that found that evidence!
(He follows after the yellow rat detective, while Bowser is still in fanboy mode as Kamek walks up to him, dressed as Peach.)
Kamek: Hey, Lord Bowser, look! I'm cute, too! :D
Bowser: (Backs away slowly) Alrighty then...
Scene 3[]
(The Wario Bros. are collecting trash bags when Detective Pikachu shows up, startling them.)
Detective Pikachu: Well well well, what do we have here?
(Waluigi thinks Detective Pikachu is a dog, while Wario thinks he's a yellow rat wearing a detective cap.)
Wario: Get out of here! Have a rotten day! (He kicks Detective Pikachu away. He and Waluigi celebrate, but get zapped.)
Detective Pikachu: Hmph. Now, are you willing to cooperate?
(The brothers are on fire.)
Waluigi: Ow...
(Mario catches up and sees the brothers on fire.)
Mario: Ooooo. You guys look-a very crispy... (To Detective Pikachu) Hey, little yellow rat, I thought I'd come and help since Mario was so helpful at Bowser's castle!
Detective Pikachu: Uhhh, sure? As long as you don't mess anything up...
Mario: DETECTIVE MODE ACTIVATE!
(He goes over and begins to sniff around the trash bag collection. Literally, sniffing the bags.)
Mario: Man, this place smells like sh!t!
(The brothers begin panicking.)
Wario: Get out of here!
Detective Pikachu: Let him be, boys. Now. Do you want to tell me what you were doing this morning?
(The brothers say they were getting flowers. Waluigi said roses, but Wario said sunflowers. They eventually get into an argument over the flowers they were wanting to buy, only to get zapped again.)
Mario: HEY, PIKA-MAN! I'VE-A FOUND SOMETHING!
(It's an arm, no doubt belong to Bowser's statue.)
Wario: Ah, f*ck...
Mario: Isn't that the arm from Bowser's statue?
Detective Pikachu: Why, yes Mario... Yes, it is...
(Beat.)
Wario: RUN, B!TCH!
(The brothers run for their lives.)
Mario: Hey, they're getting away! Let's go get those buttholes!
Scene 4[]
(The detective duo chase the brothers.)
Detective Pikachu: Crap, they are fast! We're gonna lose them!
Mario: Don't worry, they don't know how to cross the street.
(Proving Mario's point, the brothers are hit by a car and land on the sidewalk as the detectives catch up.)
Detective Pikachu: You guys better start making some sense, or else you're getting zapped!
(Wario ponders.)
(Flashback. Wario and Waluigi get a package dropped off. They open it, only to find the statue's arm.)
Wario: What the hell is this?
(Flashback ends. Wario shows the box the arm the box came in. It says "Luigi's Ice Cream".)
Detective Pikachu: Luigi's Ice Cream? Luigi's involved in this? So you're saying that Luigi delivered this to you and it had the arm in it?
(Wario nods.)
Detective Pikachu: Hmmm... But why would Luigi do that? (To Mario) Quick, Mario! We gotta find that ice cream truck!
Mario: (Holding a shotgun) Awh, man :( I wanted to arrest some b!tches...
Detective Pikachu: (To the brothers) You guys better not be giving me false information...
Scene 5[]
(Luigi is driving his ice cream truck when Mario suddenly pops up in the front window.)
Mario: HEY LUIGI, HOW YOU DOING?
(A frightened Luigi pulls over.)
Luigi: H-Hey, bro. How you doing?
Mario: Hey bro, just wanted to ask... ARE YOU A DIRTY THIEF!?
Luigi: What are you talking about? One of my jobs is selling ice cream to pay for your damages.
Detective Pikachu: Hold on, Mario, let me handle this! (To Luigi) Sorry about my partner over there, he's new to the job... We just want to ask you a few questions!
Luigi: Oh! In that case, let me get you some ice cream!
Scene 6[]
(Later, Mario and Detective Pikachu are eating ice cream.)
Mario: Oh, boy! That-a makes me so happy!
Detective Pikachu: So Luigi, can you tell us where we were around 8 AM this morning? (As he talks, Mario chows down on his frozen snack.)
Luigi: Well, this morning, I was doing my daily ice cream rounds.
(Flashback.)
Frankie: I want ice cream.
Luigi: (Hands him an ice cream cone) Okie dokie!
(The cone falls on the ground.)
Frankie: Yaaaay!
(Luigi laughs.)
(Flashback ends. Mario is suspicious about this story.)
A Truth
X Doubt
Y Lie
(Mario presses X to doubt.)
Mario: THAT'S BULLSHET! I know you did something, Luigi!
Luigi: Mario! I'm telling the truth, I swear!
Mario: (Grabs Luigi and strangles him) DON'T LIE TO ME, LUIGI, YOU SON OF A GOOMBA!
Detective Pikachu: Mario, stop strangling your brother!
Mario: (Stops) Fine...
(Luigi cries a little.)
Detective Pikachu: Okay Luigi, I don't have a lot of time, so I'll make this short and sweet. (He holds a photo of the Wario bros.) Did you or did you not deliver a package to these two guys?
Luigi: Oh! Wario and Waluigi! Yeah, I deliver to them quite a lot! Now that you mention it, the box was a lot heavier than normal...
(Unbeknownst to Luigi, Mario is sneaking around behind him to steal some more ice cream.)
Detective Pikachu: Hmmm, that definitely sounds like the arm... Would you be able to show me where you found this package?
Luigi: Y-Yeah! I can tell you where I got it from!
Mario: (Hurting) Oooh... (This got Luigi's attention.) My stomach...
Luigi: Goddammit, Mario! You ate all of my stock!
Mario: Hey, it wasn't my fault... Pika-man told me to do it! (He gets zapped.)
Detective Pikachu: Great! Thanks, Luigi! (He hops into the ice cream truck.) Let's get out of here!
(The truck takes off.)
Scene 7[]
(Inside the truck...)
Mario: Ooh, I'm-a go check if you have anymore ice cream!
(Without warning, the ice cream truck gets rammed from behind.)
Luigi: WAH! W-What was that!?
Mario: Hey, someone just rammed us! D:
(RAM!)
Detective Pikachu: Dammit! It's the perp! Luigi, step on it!
(They drive into town.)
Detective Pikachu: They're on our tail! Mario! I need you to slow down that car, somehow!
Mario: Okie dokie!
(Mario jumps out of the truck and in front of the car, but misses.)
Detective Pikachu: Goddammit...! It's all up to you, Luigi! Shake him off us!
Luigi: ...You can do this, Luigi!
(Soon, a traffic light turns red and Frankie proceeds to cross the street. Luigi stops for him.)
Detective Pikachu: Hey! What are you doing!? GO!
Luigi: B-But the light's red.
Detective Pikachu: Who cares! Haven't you ever played games like GTA before!?
Luigi: I stop at the traffic lights in those games too! :D
Detective Pikachu: MOVE!
(He shoves Luigi out of the way, puts the car back in motion, runs over Frankie, and the chase continues.)
Scene 8[]
(In town, Detective Pikachu drives the car through a park and onto a sidewalk, driving into Princess Peach and Donkey Kong in the process. Luigi presses the windshield wiper button to move them out of the way.)
Red Car: (Pops up) Gotcha, b!tch!
(The ice cream truck steers out of the way.)
Red Car: GET OVER HERE!
(The ice cream truck crashes. Luigi and Detective Pikachu come out.)
Detective Pikachu: C'MON! LET'S GO! (He grabs Luigi and they flee on foot.)
(Meanwhile, a worn out Mario has made his way to a gas station.)
Mario: (Sees Detective Pikachu coming his way) Oh, there you are.)
(Detective Pikachu grabs him and they run into a building.)
Detective Pikachu: Let's go, let's go, let's go!
(They stop running.)
Detective Pikachu: Ah, jeez! ...Ok... I think we lost them...
Red Car: (Peeks in through a window) Oh, hello there! (Mario and Luigi scream.)
(A panicking Luigi tries to run upstairs, but the red car breaks through the wall. Detective Pikachu hides in a bathroom when the red car appears from, of all places, a toilet. And Mario tries to hide in a bedroom only to find the red car on a bed. Mario starts having romantic thoughts.)
Mario: Well, now...
Detective Pikachu: (Angry and ready to unleash a large zap) GRRRRR... This is ENOUGH!!!!
Red car: You ain't gonna do sh!t! You ain't gonna do-
(Detective Pikachu unleashes all his rage as lightning rains down on the building, destroying the red car.)
Detective Pikachu: Pika pika, b!tch.
(The drives comes out. It's...)
Toad: (Coughing) Ow... My tiny ass...
Detective Pikachu: Aha! Toad! You must be the perp! ...Or are you working for someone?!
Toad: Ummm... Uhhh...
Detective Pikachu: TELL US NOW!
Toad: Uhhh... Ok, fine!!! ...I was called a few minutes ago to look for an ice cream truck... Ok...?
(Detective Pikachu isn't buying this.)
Toad: ...Only because I wanted some ice-cream... Yeah! :D
Scene 9[]
(Toad has been strapped to the rear of the ice cream truck as it drives off.)
Luigi: Uhh... Detective... We're here... This is where I got that weird package...
(It's the Mario Bros. residence.)
Luigi: I found it on top of my bed when I woke up this morning...
Detective Pikachu: I'll just have a look around inside.
(Detective Pikachu and Luigi walk in as Mario stays behind, staring at them in anger.)
(Inside, Detective Pikachu is looking around when Mario pops up.)
Mario: Oh, well! Looks like there's no clues in this house.
Luigi: Uhh... Have you checked the baseme-
Mario: (Punches Luigi) Luigi! You silly goose, haha... Are you smoking mushrooms again?
Detective Pikachu: Wait... You guys have a basement...?
Mario: (Holds up a pocket watch) Oh boy, look at the time!
Detective Pikachu: ...Mario... Step aside, please.
Mario: How about no?
(Detective Pikachu shoves him out of the way and looks down into the basement. Sure enough, there's the Bowser statue that's missing an arm.)
Detective Pikachu: Bingo.
Mario: ...YOU'LL NEVER CATCH MEEE!
(He pulls his phone out.)
Mario: TOAD! PREPARE THE GETAWAY CAR!
(Seeing as Toad is still tied up to the ice cream truck, and thus unable to answer the phone...)
Mario: MAMAF***ER!
(Detective Pikachu tackles him.)
Scene 10[]
(Back at Bowser's castle, Bowser is gushing over his recently returned, still-missing-an-arm statue.)
Bowser: Oh, thank you, Detective! You solved the mystery! :D
Detective Pikachu: Thank you... But there is still one mystery left... (He turns back to face Mario, who is trapped in a cage.) Why'd you do it, Mario? What dark, twisted motive did you have...?
Mario: ...Bowser beat me in Smash! >:(
(A dumbfounded Detective Pikachu takes Mario and throws him into the lava below the castle.)
Detective Pikachu: Well, that was a load of sh!t... (He walks away, having cracked the case.)
Mario: That's a spicy Mario!
Lords Mobile Promo #2[]
(Credits roll.)
Kevin: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT VIDEO, LUKE!?
Luke: IT WAS GOOD, DAMMIT! IT WAS REALLY... SPICY!
Kevin: You clearly were into it!
Luke: Ah, yes!
Kevin: You know what else I'm into?
Luke: What are you into?
Kevin: I'm into Lords Mobile!
Luke: Oh!
Kevin: You can fight people, (Luke: Woah!) create armies, build armies, (Luke: Wow!) go join guilds!
Luke: WOW!
Kevin: So if you go download the game now, use our special code "SMG4". You'll be able to get $100 in-game credits. Think of all the chocolate you could buy!
Luke: We'll also be giving away an iPhone X!
Kevin: Alright guys, that's it. Peace out! Go watch more SMG4, kiss your mother, kiss your grandmother-father.
(Luke looks at him weird.)