Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript
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This is the transcript for SMG4: Doki Doki Mario Club by SMG4.
Transcript[]
(Glitchy Boy intro.)
(It starts at a park. Yoshi and Birdo are together, Mario proposes to a plate of spaghetti, Toadette is dragging Toad, and Fishy Boopkins is sitting on a bench with a laptop, apparently playing a dating simulator.)
Boopkins: Oh, I'm so happy I could spend Valentine's Day with you, Saiko-chan.
Saiko Bichitaru: -oh, you chose me? on valentines day? oh that makes me so happy, boopy-kun
Boopkins: Awww yaaay!
(Bob walks up to him.)
Bob: Hey, Boopkins. Lonely on Valentine's, huh?
Boopkins: Oh, I have a Valentine. She's right here.
Saiko: Thank you for choosing me... Nobody ever picks me...
Boopkins: Heeeeey! That's pretty good!
Bob: ...This is the saddest shit I have ever seen.
Boopkins: Hey, no! You don't understand! She's a really nice person! Nobody really picks her, and she might be a bit different, but I think it's those imperfections that make her really special to me!!!
Bob: Please tell me you're joking!
Boopkins: No, you don't understand! (He takes the laptop and runs off crying.)
Bob: Huh, what a weirdo. (He turns to his "date", which is actually a trash bag with a red bow, fake eyes, and a fake pair of red lips.) Come on, Bobella-chan, let's get out of here.
(It cuts to Boopkins, still in tears, running to hide behind a wall.)
Boopkins: I'm tired of people not treating you seriously, Saiko-chan!
Saiko: C'mon, bring me to life!~ that'll show everybody!
Boopkins: OOOOH! You're right! That's it! And then you can see people how cool you really are! Okay, time to bring you to the real world!
(It cuts to Boopkins protesting in front of an anime game studio.)
Boopkins: Make my waifu real! Make my waifu real!
(He is suddenly joined by Lemmy and Francis, who are also protesting that their waifus get brought to life. The company CEO is watching from his window.)
CEO: Shoot it down.
(An "anti-weeboo machine" comes out of the building and starts firing at the trio.)
Either Francis or Lemmy: OH SHIT!
(Boopkins runs for his life while Lemmy and Francis are shot at.)
(It cuts to Boopkins turning to Mario for help.)
Boopkins: Oh, Mario, I need you to help me...
(Mario thinks, then gets an idea. He suddenly gets Luigi, pulls out a pair of scissors, drags a curtain down, and begins to (rather violently) cut Luigi's hair. He lifts the curtain up in success and Luigi suddenly has a lady hairstyle.)
(It cuts to SMG4 walking down a hallway, until something gets his attention.)
SMG4: Dafuq?
(Boopkins is praying to the "anime gods", which he has set up an altar to, with candles and a couple waifu body-pillows.)
Boopkins: Oh, anime gods, hear my plea! Get me a waifu!
SMG4: Ok. (Turns away in shock.)
(It then cuts back to the bench, where Boopkins is sitting in disappointment.)
Boopkins: Aw, man... Nothing's working. I'm sorry, Saiko...
Saiko: Don't give up, Boop-kun!
(Meanwhile, a Magikoopa is walking across a road when he is suddenly run over by a taxi. Boopkins looks over in concern.)
Boopkins: Huh? What was that?! Oh no! Oh dear, oh dear!
(He is instead running to the Magikoopa's wand, rather then the Magikoopa himself, who is in pain.)
Boopkins: Who left this perfectly good wand here? ...Maybe it's possible now!
(He walks up to his laptop with the wand.)
Boopkins: Abraka-MAKEMYWAIFUCOMETOLIFE!
(A beam shoots out of the wand, causing Boopkins to fly backwards, and hits the laptop. Boopkins looks up)
Boopkins: Uhh... Did it work?
(Indeed, it has actually worked, as Saiko is standing before him.)
Saiko: Wow... You actually did it!
Boopkins: Oh, yay, it worked! Hi, Saiko!
Saiko (Grabs Boopkins into a hug.) Thank you, Boopky-kuuun! (She hugs him violently until Boopkins lands on the ground.)
Boopkins: Okay, let's go on a Valentine's date, now!
Saiko: I'm so happy you're going on a date with JUST me!
Boopkins: Yeah! Come on! Wahey! (He runs off, while Saiko stays behind, staring at him.)
(It cuts to Boopkins and Saiko walking into a theater.)
Boopkins: Lalalalalalala, wahey!
(Bob happens to be there, too, with "Bobella-chan". He notices them.)
Bob: Holy shit, do my eyes deceive me?! Boopkins actually has a physical, sentient, real life girlfriend! PRAISE THE LORD, HE'S NOT A LOSER ANYMORE!
Boopkins: Hey!
Bob: But she's not as good as my Valentine's date here. Haha! (He walks off with his trash bag, while Saiko turns to him, menacingly.)
Saiko: Excuse me...? (She runs up and kicks the trash bag up and out of the theater.)
Bob:...The fuck is wrong with you? That cost me a lot of money!
Saiko: (Uh-oh, spaghettios!) Oopsies,..sorry. My foot must of slipped! (She and Boopkins cheerfully walk off, leaving Bob behind.)
Bob: Bitch!
(It cuts to the duo walking on a sidewalk.)
Boopkins: That was fun! Hmmmmm... Saiko, what should we do next? Maybe, I was thinking we could-
(He is interrupted by Lemmy, who is carrying a storage crate full of anime DVDs.)
Lemmy: Oh... Hey boop! I'm gonna be marathoning some anime again! Wanna come watch?
Boopkins: OH BOY, DO I?!
(It cuts to Lemmy's room. Saiko is staring in shock, while Lemmy and Boopkins are watching anime. The Blend S theme is playing while footage of the Kill Me Baby and Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid OPs are shown on the TV, both with characters having the "Smoke weed everyday" meme face is placed over characters faces.)
Saiko: Y-y... you're watching other g-girls?!!!
(While Boopkins and Lemmy are watching TV, she walks over to pick up the remote and turn the channel. The Neon Genesis Evangelion theme plays over a Teletubbies anime.)
Lemmy: MY ANIME! WHERE"S THE REMOTE!?!?!
Boopkins: AH! I DROPPED THE REMOTE! WHERE IS IT?! I DON'T WANNA SEE THIS!
(Saiko is holding the remote. She laughs, throws the remote, and sits back on the couch in amusement while Boopkins and Lemmy are panicking. The room is also on fire.)
(It cuts to Mario in the castle hallway happily humming to himself. He opens a door and Saiko sticks her head in front of Mario.)
Saiko: Konichiwa!
(Beat. Mario closes the door, then panics.)
Mario: ANIME HAS COME TO LIFE! WE'RE DOOMED! (He runs off.)
Saiko: (Baka.) Jerk.
(Luigi enters.)
Luigi: Oh, you must be Boopkin's new friend!
Saiko: Haha, it's a pleasure meeting you!
Luigi: I hope we can get to know each other and- (He gets startled by his cellphone going off.) ah, one second.
(Luigi starts talking on the phone, but Saiko snatches it out of his hand, throws it on the ground, and pulls out a rocket launcher.)
Luigi: WHAT THE FUCK?!
(Saiko fires the rocket launcher at Luigi's phone.)
Saiko: ok, now that your call is done. Wanna pay a game with me?
Luigi: (Backs away.) Fuck this shit, I'm out!
(Saiko snatches his hat and wears it.)
Saiko: Hehehee, come get me! (She runs off, with Luigi chasing her.)
Luigi: Come back here! What's-a the matter with you?!
(It cuts to Toad confronting Boopkins about Saiko.)
Toad: (AAH! WAH WAH WAH! NOOOOO!) You gotta stop this, Boopkins. She's a red flag.
Boopkins: Aww, but-
Toad: Trust me... I know. It's too late for me...
(Suddenly...)
Toadette: TOAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!
(Toadette bursts in, angry.)
Toadette: YOU ONLY SPENT 20 HOURS WITH ME TODAY!
Toad: OH GOD NO! AHH!
(Toadette drags Toad off.)
Toad: NO! I DON"T WANNA GO! (He continues screaming while he's getting dragged. Boopkins watches.)
Boopkins: But...but I don't wanna upset her...
(It cuts to Boopkins and Saiko at Boopkins' "house" (Actually a beach).)
Boopkins: I'm so glad you could come to my house, Saiko-chan! Oh, this is gonna be so much fun! I haven't had a guest over since, umm...mmm...Yeah. Ooo! (He goes over to his toy chest and starts throwing toys out.) I want to show you all my cool toys! Like this Shrek, and this rock, and this Mario...
Saiko: (Unimpressed.) That's really....something.
Boopkins: Oh! I also want to show my most prized possessions. (He pulls out a Miku waifu pillow.) Look at these sweet waifu pillows!
Saiko: (Eyes start twitching.) Oh...heehee, what...is that?
Boopkins: Oh, these are my waifu pillow toys. I got plenty more of them.
Saiko: (Still twitchy-eyed.) and how many more do you have...?
Boopkins: Hmm, let's see... 1, 2, (He starts emptying his chest, which appears to have about a billion waifu pillows in it.), 3, 15, 97... Uh, about 5,372,227!
(Saiko is still twitchy-eyed, but then suddenly gives a thumbs up.)
Saiko: Wow! That's so cool!
Boopkins: Oh, I'm glad you like them! Hmmm... I'm hungry now. I'm gonna go get us some lunch.
(He comes back with "lunch": rocks on a McDonald's tray.)
Boopkins: I made us my favorite school lu- OH MY GOD!
(To his complete dismay, his waifu pillows are on fire.)
Saiko: I was a bit cold Boopy-kun, i hope you don't mind the campfire.
Boopkins: (His eyes widen in shock.) Uhhh... Ahhh Noooooo! I-I'm sorry Saiko, but I can't do this anymore! I'm dumping you!
Saiko: W...WHAT?! NANI?!
Boopkins: I don't want to sound mean, but... I can see why nobody picks you from your game now... I think we need some time apart.
Saiko: B-BUT...YOU CAN"T! After all the love I gave you?! I'm...im a good date right!? I would never make you hate me! Maybe I should never have existed... (She runs off on the verge of tears.)
Boopkins: Wait, Saiko! Aww... (He turns to a cardboard cut-out of an anime girl with Heavy's face on it.) At least I have you, Heavy-chan.
Heavy: Babies!
(It cuts to a town near a beach. Wario and Waluigi are laughing while dressed as, respectively, a genie and a heart. A sign reads "Find out how much your Valentine loves YOU!".)
Wario: Come on, come on, come on... (He notices a Shy Guy sadly walking towards them.) Yeah!
Shy Guy: oh...can you guys help me... I need to know if what my wife said was real...
Wario: OK! (Wario starts magically making a prediction.) You're f*cked! You're just f*cked!
Shy Guy: (Sadly.) I...I see...So my wife really did cheat on me...
Wario: That'll be $85.
(The Shy Guy runs off crying.)
Wario: HEY! Mama mia... I'll get you next time! (He suddenly notices Saiko walking depressingly across the street. He and Waluigi both laugh evilly.)
Saiko: Stupid...fish...breaking my heart...
(Wario suddenly appears and gives her flowers.)
Saiko: For me?! :D aww...you're too kind!
Wario: PSYCHE! (Price: 1500 Coins.)
Waluigi: HA! GOTTEM! (He and Wario both start laughing evilly.)
Saiko: Oh...well aren't you boys funny... But since I have no money, I'll just take it anyway cause you're so kind! (She takes the flowers.)
Wario: WHAT? (He and Waluigi try to get the flowers back, but to no avail.)
Saiko: awww why are you guys being meanies? I thought you wanted to spend time with me.
(The Wario bros. start backing up slowly before booking it, only to bump into Saiko, who has mysteriously appeared before them.)
Saiko: I'm glad you boys can spend time with. Now I'm gonna need help getting revenge. Think you can do it?
(The bros. start looking at each other worriedly.)
Saiko: (Suddenly wide-eyed.) I SAID CAN YOU DO IT?!
(The bros., fearing for their lives, shake their heads yes, to Saiko's pleasure.)
(It cuts to Peach's Castle.)
Boopkins: Aw, man... Today's been horrible...
Luigi: Don't worry, Boopkins. You did the right thing.
Mario: Hah, That's why I date spaghetti cause spaghetti won't set you waifu pillows on fire!
SMG4: Uh...anyway...don't stress about it, people just move on-
(The ground starts shaking, startling the group.)
Luigi: WAAAH!
Boopkins: AAAH! Oh no!
(A giant mech burst through the entrance. Luigi and Boopkins look in worry.)
SMG4: OH MY GOD!
Mario: My ass...
(Saiko pops up.)
Saiko: Konichiwa!
Boopkins: S-Saiko-chan! W-What are you doing?!
Saiko: I wanted to come visit you again, boopy-kun!
Luigi: AHH! SHE'S GONNA KILL US ALL! M-mario!...Do something!!
Mario: Stop it. This is not okie dokie! (The mech fires at him, sending him flying. Luigi runs in fear to the door, but it's locked. SMG4 finds that the windows are boarded up.)
SMG4: Shhhiiiiiiii-
Saiko: Oh, sorry! My new friends here help blocked off the exits and got me this cool mech!
(The Wario bros. pop up and start begging to Saiko.)
Wario and Waluigi: Please don't hurt me, desu-
Boopkins: Saiko! Stop this at once! We don't mean you any harm!
Saiko: HOW ABOUT THE BIG HOLE YOU LEFT IN MY HEART?! (She fires a laser at Boopkins, who runs off in terror. Suddenly, a van labeled "Anime Patrol" enters the room.)
Mario: STAY BACK! Anime patrol is here! (He runs up to the mech.) HERE WE GOOOOOO! (He whacks it with a stick.) Ohh, shiiit! Ha ha! (A cannon come out of the mech. Mario looks at it.) Oh hello there! (It fires at him, sending him flying again.)
SMG4: STAY BACK! (He pulls out a spray can.) I GOT MY ANTI-ANIME SPRAY! YOLOOOOO! (He sprays it in Saiko's face. She screams, but then still makes the cannon fire at SMG4. Luigi then just cowers in fear.)
Boopkins: Aw man...what do I do? Looks like I have to do what I do best! Saiko-chan, this ones for you! (He pulls out a mic and starts singing.) ♩Don't go breaking my heart!♩
(Saiko smiles, then joins in.)
Saiko: ♩I couldn't if I tried!♩
Boopkins: (Hops onto a stool.) ♩Oh honey if I get restless!♩
Saiko: ♩Baby, you're not that kind!♩
Both: ♩OOOO! Don't go breaking my- Don't go breaking my-♩
Boopkins: ♩Don't go breaking my heart!♩
Both: ♩Don't go breaking my- Don't go breaking my-♩
(Mario gets up and glares.)
Saiko: ♩I won't go breaking your heart!♩
(Mario leaps at her.)
Mario: GOTCHA BITCH! (He laughs successfully.)
Saiko: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT IS THIS!!! GET OFF!!! (To the Wario bros.) YOU IDIOTS! COME HELP ME!
(The Wario bros. instead happily take off with the mech.)
Saiko: NOO! Boopkins!!! Let me out!...please!
Boopkins: Why, Saiko: Why'd you do all of this? I didn't mean for you to get so mad. I just...
Saiko: (On the verge of crying.) Shut up...you....you just don't understand...
Boopkins: Saiko...please don't cry...
Saiko: (Crying.) DO YOU KNOW HOW LONELY IT IS... WHEN NO ONE EVER PICKS YOU... TO SPEND EVERYDAY KNOWING YOU'LL NEVER BE WANTED...... That's why...I can't control myself when I lose attention...
Boopkins: ...Let her go...
(Mario is shocked.)
Luigi: WAHH?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!-
Boopkins: Just do it!
Mario: (Reluctantly.) Fine!
(Mario gets off Saiko, who runs out of the castle, still crying. Mario, SMG4, Boopkins, and Luigi all watch.)
Boopkins: I'll always be your friend, Saiko-chan...
Mario: Mama mia... This is why you date spaghetti. Cause spaghetti wont ride on a mech and try to destroy yo- (SMG4 knocks him out.)
(Credits start.)
Luke Lerdwichagul (Voice over): Hey, everyone. SMG4 here. I hope you enjoyed the video. If you liked it and want to help support me making videos, then consider becoming a sponsor for this channel. You'll get all kinds of awesome rewards in return. Just follow the end screen for more info. Thanks guys!