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This is the official transcript for SMG4: Every Luigi Is Personalized.
Honkai: Star Rail Sponsor[]
[Fishy Boopkins is flying through space in his spaceship, singing a cheerful tune, when he suddenly stops. He looks behind him to see a Star Destroyer from Star Wars towering over him, as the camera zooms in to show SMG4 manning the deck.]
SMG4: Obliterate him.
[The camera zooms out to show Mario at the controls.]
Mario: Yes, boss!
[As Mario begins typing on a keyboard, SMG4 turns to the viewer.]
SMG4: Huh? Oh! Hey, guys. Sorry, we're just taking care of some business. Which brings us to today's sponsor on this video! Honkai: Star Rail. Honkai: Star Rail is a new free-to-play cross-platform fantasy sci-fi RPG developed by HoYoverse. In this game, you'll hop on board the Astral Express to explore a beautifully designed universe finding secrets, puzzles, and treasure.
[Mario finishes typing and hits a "Nut" button next to the keyboard. This activates a laser cannon in the Star Destroyer that blows up Boopkins' ship.]
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[As Boopkins floats in space, he screams as more laser cannons open fire on him, creating a massive explosion.]
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[As SMG4 is speaking, a scorches Boopkins screams as a wormhole opens next to him, which squashes him down and sucks him inside. The code "HSRVER10XEDLFE" appears on-screen.]
SMG4: If you use this code, you'll even get an extra 50 Stella Jades. Thanks for watching, now on to the video!
[The wormhole then sucks the Star Destroyer inside as well.]
Scene 1[]
[SMG4 intro. At The Showgrounds, Mario makes aeroplane noises as he somersaults through the main entrance on his kart and crashes into the ground. He hops out of the flaming vehicle and locks it with his keys before spinning over to the chalk square.]
Mario: YOOOO GUYYYYYYS! The MAIN ATTRACTION has arrived!!!
[Suddenly, Mario notices what appears to be Luigi standing aside, near the forest. He doesn't move an inch.]
Mario: Luigi...?
[Luigi(?) doesn't respond. Mario launches over at him.]
Mario: HEYYYY LIL BROOOOO WATCHA DOIIIIIIN
[Luigi doesn't respond. The camera cuts to behind him, showing Luigi(?)'s sinister grin.]
Mario: ...Luigi? OI! Talk to me! AAH!
[The shock of what Mario sees drains the colour from his body. We see Luigi(?)'s face - a slasher grin, with wide eyes and shrunken pupils. Mario stares in horror for a few seconds as tension builds, but instead of screaming, he instead struggles to contain his laughter.]
Mario: *playing with Luigi(?)'s face* "Hello, I'm Luigi, and I'm here today to tell you all about puberty and its many effects."
[Suddenly, Luigi(?) grabs Mario by the neck and begins choking him, catching him off guard. He slowly turns to Mario as his face starts turning purple.]
Mario: L... LUIGI... S... TOP...
[Mario screams as Luigi(?) repeatedly slams him to the ground before throwing him aside. He then begins walking towards a terrified Mario, standing over him.]
Mario: B-Bro... What's gotten into you? Let's talk please- PSYCHE!
[Mario kicks Luigi(?) in the groin, but his smug grin slowly turns back into fear as he sees the nutshot had no effect.]
Mario: LUIGI'S A GIRL!!!
[Mario takes off running as Luigi(?) gives chase.]
Scene 2[]
[Meanwhile, in the chalk square, everyone is having fun with the new furniture - Saiko sits on the couch tuning her guitar, SMG4 works on his computer, Boopkins bounces up and down on another sofa, and SMG3 streams at his desk with Eggdog and the Ugandan Knuckles army.]
Bob: tHeRe'S a DeAd BoDy In ThIs TrAsH bIn!
[As Bob rummages through a dumpster, we then see Meggy practising with her Splattershot as Tari plays on her Nintendo Switch.]
SMG4: Soooo, what do you guys think of the new furniture?
Saiko: You know... It's kinda growing on me
SMG3: A roof would be nice though
SMG4: I'm working on it!
[Suddenly, everyone hears Mario screaming.]
Boopkins: Uh, guys...? Mario's running at us really fast.
[Mario runs for his life towards them from Luigi(?).]
Mario: HELP! HELP! MAMA MIA!
Meggy: MARIO SLOW DOWN! YOU'RE GONNA RUN INTO US!
[Mario ignores Meggy and crashes into them, causing an explosion that leaves the square trashed. Mario cowers atop the head of an angry SMG4.]
Mario: LUIGI GO CRAZY *Gibberish* GO CRAZY LUIGI GO CRAZY *Gibberish*
[SMG4 yanks Mario to the ground.]
SMG4: Mario, ENGLISH! Not...*Italian gibberish*!
[SMG4, Saiko, and Melony turn to look at Luigi(?), who is completely still.]
Boopkins: Hey, Luigi, is this true? Are you scaring Mario?
[Luigi(?) lunges forward, grabs Boopkins by the head, and throws him into the air. He screams as he flies away. Meanwhile, Depresso is rummaging through a dumpster near the square.]
Depresso: Hmmm... What's for lunch today...
[Depresso pops out, holding a loaf of moldy bread, only for the camera to zoom out as Boopkins crashes down on top of him and blows up the dumpster. Meggy shields her face with her Splattershot as Tari hugs one of her rubber ducks, scared.]
Meggy: Guys. Something tells me this isn't Luigi...
[Saiko gets up and sprints towards Luigi(?) and punches him in the nose. The force of the punch creates a wind blast and scatters debris behind Luigi(?), but he himself is completely unfazed. Saiko gasps in shock before Luigi(?) grabs her, scrunches her up into a ball, and gently kicks it away. SMG4 scowls in anger, and picks up Mario and Luigi(?) runs at him.]
Mario: Hey SMG4, what are you-
[SMG4 lobs Mario into Luigi(?), knocking him down. Luigi(?) quickly recovers and starts twerking over a shrieking Mario as Depresso rummages through his dumpster again, finding a noose, much to his joy. SMG4 kicks him aside and unties the noose into a regular rope.]
SMG4: SMG3! CATCH!
[SMG3 catches one end of the rope as it is tossed over to him, who grins. They run into Luigi(?) and spin around him, creating a plume of dust. When it clears, Luigi(?) is completely tied up - Mario quickly runs away.]
Meggy: You guys did it! He's trapped!
Mario: YOU GUYS USED ME AS BAIT!?
SMG4: Never mind that. What I want to know is... Who or what is this? And where's the real Luigi?
Tari: I... I think I might know...
[Everyone turns to Tari, who gulps nervously as she points her shaking Meta Runner arm at the edge of The Showgrounds - there is something obscured behind a shrub.]
Mario: What... What is that?
[Mario stretches his eyes to get a closer look. It's a chemical toilet, which is glowing red.]
Mario: It's a toilet!!!
[Mario falls to his knees and begins pounding the ground in despair and fury.]
Mario: MY BROTHER'S A TOIIILET!!
[Everyone ignores Mario and walks over to the toilet. He notices this and simply stares, in shock.]
Tari: No no, I saw him go in there earlier today, and when he came out...it was this Luigi
Saiko: It's... glowing...
[Mario joins them.]
Mario: Mario's been to enough liminal dimensions to know what this is
SMG4: Yeah... There's a very high chance that the real Luigi is in there.
[Mario suddenly turns into Gilbert as he realizes SMG4 is planning to go in and save him.]
Mario: Ah welp. You know what I'm kinda getting used to this imposter Luigi...
[Mario walks away, but Meggy places a hand on his shoulder.]
Meggy: Oh no you don't. We're saving him!
SMG4: Hmm... I think it's best if myself, Mario, and SMG3 go in. We've had experience with liminal spaces before
[A flashback to SMG4: Mario and The Backrooms plays, before we cut back to the present.]
SMG3: ...Experience is not the word I'd use.
Tari: UHHHHH, GUYS??
[Everyone to see that the fake Luigi, who has freed himself from the rope, is now standing next to Tari. She is shaking in fear.]
Saiko: NOOO TARI!!
[Luigi(?) grabs Tari's arm. Saiko lunges forward and kicks the imposter in the face, but it only makes him flinch. Luigi(?) then grabs Saiko's leg and smashes both girls into each other, dropping them as they collapse.]
Meggy: QUICK!! YOU GUYS GO FIND LUIGI!! WE'LL HANDLE THIS!!
[Meggy, Melony, and Boopkins let out a war cry as they charge towards the evil Luigi. Mario, SMG4, and SMG3 all simultaneously run for the toilet - the door slowly swings open to show blackness inside, the camera zooming inside.]
Scene 3[]
[Inside the pocket dimension within the toilet, Mario, SMG4, and SMG3 scream as they fall out of a portal in the air and into a hub world.]
Mario: WHAT!? IT JUST TOOK US TO PEACH'S CASTLE!!
[The camera zooms out to show a strange, enclosed environment, with tall walls with barbed wire on top marking the boundaries. The heroes have landed in front of a small replica of Peach's Castle at one end of the area.]
SMG4: This definitely isn't the castle...
[The camera continues to pan around, showing features of the hub world such as the abundant plantlife, a small tower, and several wire mesh surfaces near an underpass.]
SMG4: Alright. Let's move forward, but carefully-
Mario: LUIGI!!
[Mario sprints into the replica Peach's Castle. The inside resembles the third floor, ]
SMG4: Didn't Mario learn ANYTHING from the SMG4 movie, and what happens when you run into creepy castles!?!
SMG3: Hey man, don't look at me! You're the one that invited him!
[SMG4 and SMG3 follow Mario inside. He is looking at a row of warp paintings.]
SMG4: Mario, what are you doing!?!
Mario: LUIGI'S GOTTA BE IN ONE OF THESE!!
[Mario jumps into the Bob-omb Battlefield painting, triggering the star select screen from Super Mario 64. The star description says "You won't find your brother.", while the course is named "He's gone." Mario pops up on the screen and flips off the viewer.]
Mario: F*k you!
[Mario angrily kicks the blank star away, loading the stage. He finds himself in a dark, empty plane in the middle of a large ocean - there is fencing on two sides of the plane, but nothing else other than a dark path. Mario takes a deep breath.]
Mario: LUIIIIIIIIGIIIIIII!!!!!!!
[After a few seconds, Luigi responds from far away.]
Luigi: MAAAAARIOOOOO!!!!
Mario: BRO WHERE ARE YOU!?!
Luigi: They took my f***ing eyes...
Mario: WHAT?
Luigi: THEY TOOK MY EEEEYYY--
[Luigi's scream quickly glitches out. Mario looks around, only to see an evil clone of himself across the other side of the plane, cackling. Mario screams as SMG4 and SMG3 join him.]
SMG4: WHAT!? WHAT IS IT, MARIO!?!
Mario: Scary--but very handsome--monster!!
[SMG4 and SMG3 turn, but see nothing - the evil Mario is gone, and the plane is now bright.]
SMG3: Alright, Mario's clearly lost it. I'm leading now.
[SMG4 and SMG3 head off, but Mario remains in place, frozen with fear. SMG4 runs back, grabs him, and carries him off as we see the star select screen again - this course is named "HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA", while the star is similarly named "HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH". The level loads as Mario, SMG4, and SMG3 emerge through a warp painting into Hazy Maze Cave - completely devoid of life.]
SMG4: W-Well SMG3... You gonna lead?
SMG3: I... I changed my mind. Mario, do you want to run off in ignorance again?
Mario: No! That Handsome Monster is out there...
[SMG3 turns back to the tunnels, shakes himself, and begins walking down a tunnel. Mario and SMG4 follow, terrified. Suddenly, we hear an evil cackle from across the tunnel, stopping all three in their tracks. They quickly tip-toe onwards.]
Luigi(?): Do you give up?
[The shock sends Mario and SMG4 clinging onto SMG3, all three frozen with fear, but SMG4 suddenly gets an idea.]
SMG4: Whenever I'm scared (Which is often...) I just start humming a fun tune and it ain't so bad!! C'mon!
[SMG4 walks on as Mario and SMG3 follow behind. All three begin humming the Super Mario Bros. theme, still scared - but SMG4's idea works - they slowly calm down and begin strolling along happily. This is interrupted after they pass a shadowy figure, which scares them again. They keep walking, slower and more afraid now, but they then see the evil Mario standing aside them, laughing. Two scares like this are enough to send all three heroes into a mad scarper as they begin screaming.]
SMG3: SCREW THIS!!! EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!!
[SMG3 sprints ahead in fright, but stops at a black pit at the end of the tunnel. SMG4 bumps into him, although he stays on solid ground, but Mario then rams into both and sends all three plummeting down the pit. They scream as the level select loads again - the course is simply named "BOTTOM TEXT", the star name is completely glitched, and the music and sound effects are highly distorted, creating a more sinister feel.]
Scene 4[]
[Mario, SMG4, and SMG3 fall down into a room resembling the lobby of Peach's Castle, with a shutter on one side, two warp paintings at either end, and a locked Star Door on the other wall. They groan as they slowly get to their feet, but find Luigi with them.]
Luigi: GUYS!! OH MY GOSH THANK GOD IT'S-
[Mario grabs Luigi and starts smacking his brother repeatedly, who screams in fear and pain.]
Mario: AHHH IT'S THE IMPOSTER LUIGI!!!
Luigi: NOOO IT'S REALLY ME!!!
SMG4: Mario, stop! I think he's telling the truth.
[Mario stops for a moment, then slaps Luigi again, knocking him over. SMG4 glares at Mario and lowers his hand.]
Mario: Mario was just making sure
SMG4: Bro! So glad you're okay. What happened to you?
Luigi: Well... It all started this morning...
[A flashback is triggered. Depresso is rummaging in the dumpster when he finds a strange N64 cartridge. The sticker resembles that of Super Mario 64, but is torn off at the bottom, both Mario and Bowser have black, empty eye-sockets dripping blood, and the title reads "Super Mario 64.exe". Depresso bites into the cartridge.]
Depresso: Ech! Get outta here!
[Depresso tosses the cartridge in the air and kicks it away, annoyed it is not edible. The cartridge sails through the air and lands in the chemical toilet, causing it to glow red. A few seconds later, Luigi walks into the toilet.]
Luigi: Time to take a piss!
[Luigi locks the door, as we hear him hum as he urinates - which quickly transitions into a horrified scream. We return to the present.]
Luigi: And I've been trying to find a way out since.
SMG4: Welp, now that we've found you, you can come back with us!!
Mario: Yeah! The portal is still open outside. Let's go!
[As Mario says this, we see the portal back in the hub world, which has not closed.]
SMG3: Uhh... guys...
[A scared SMG3 points towards the now-open shutter. Everyone turns to see the evil Mario standing in a room behind it, and are paralyzed with fear. Tension builds...]
Mario: Smash.
[Mario.exe roars as he lunges towards the four. Everyone screams as they are launched out the Star Door and outside a decripid, haunted castle into the hub world. The evil Mario follows them outside as they get up.]
Mario.exe: I can milk you.
[Everyone screams and runs for their lives. SMG4 runs to the side, but Mario.exe emerges from some nearby flowers and smacks him. SMG4 screams before turning into a grave labelled "RIP Smg4". Meanwhile, Luigi tries to crawl forward so he isn't noticed, but Mario.exe stretches hi arm to grab Luigi's leg and repeatedly smashes him on the ground before throwing Luigi away, phasing out afterwards. Luigi lands next to Mario, battered.]
Mario: Hey, hang on, I think I know how to take this guy down.
[Mario rips his cap off to show Boyfriend's cap underneath and draws a microphone. The HUD from Friday Night Funkin' appears as Mario.exe appears in front of him - Mario begins singing "Overhead" from Friday Night Funkin': Vs. Whitty, but doesn't even get to finish the first set of notes before his doppleganger smacks him away, resulting in a loss for Mario. SMG3 has nearly reached the portal, but Mario.exe slams down in front of him.]
Mario.exe: Mario's FACT OF THE DAY: I'M GOING TO F**K YOU...
[SMG3 screams as Mario.exe leans over him with a Jarate, the game start sound effect from Among Us playing. Mario, Luigi, and SMG4, injured but OK, run for their lives screaming, as a burning SMG3 lands in front of them and doesn't get up. All four jump for the portal as Mario.exe dives after them...]
Conclusion[]
[Back in The Showgrounds, SMG4's Gang have been defeated. The surrounding area filled with flaming debris, Melony, Saiko, Bob, Tari, and Boopkins all lie on the ground, unconscious, as Luigi.exe holds Meggy up, strangling her as she tries to free herself. She is about to pass out when she hears Mario screaming, and turns to see the chemical toilet flash white as he, SMG4, Luigi, and SMG3 emerge from it. Luigi.exe turns to them, drops Meggy, and slowly marches towards them. Mario.exe then jumps out from the toilet and lands behind the four, scaring them. However, both brothers suddenly notice each other and appear to calm down.]
Mario.exe: BRO??
Luigi.exe: Mario??
[Mario.exe pushes past SMG4 and Luigi as he walks over to his brother.]
Mario.exe: BRO!!
Luigi.exe: MARIO!!
[The two hug as sweet music plays.]
Mario.exe: BRO I MISSED YOU!
Luigi.exe: I was looking everywhere for you!!
[The Mario Bros.exe then turn around and walk back over to the chemical toilet to return home, holding each other.]
Mario.exe: Let's go home, bro!
Luigi.exe: Yeah, this place was scary!
[As the two return to their game, everyone, now recovered, stares at the toilet in complete shock.]
Luigi: Aww... Their brotherhood is so nice! Mario... Did you miss me??
[We see Mario, cross-eyed and with a large mustache. Uh-oh...]
Mario: AHH IT'S THE IMPOSTER LUIGI!!
[Luigi screams as Mario tackles and starts beating him up. Credits roll.]