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This is the transcript for SMG4: Grand Theft Mario.
Special Announcement[]
(The intro plays out as normal, but then...)
SMG4: (Pops out) WAIT WAIT WAIT!! I've got an announcement to make!!
(He goes out on stage and claps his hands twice, summoning pipes. Characters begin popping out. On the left side, in order from left to right: Meggy, Saiko, and Bob.)
Meggy: How'd I get here??
Bob: (He was taking a bath.) WHAT THE-?!
(And on the right: Boopkins and SMG3, who's sitting in his streaming chair.)
SMG3: I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A STREAM!!
SMG4: (To the viewers) As you can see, we've gone through some big changes on SMG4 over the past year. Everyone's had a little upgrade to their looks. ...some (Cough Boopkins Cough), a BIG upgrade.
Boopkins: Hey!
SMG4: Which just leaves one person left!
SMG3: Oh my God, they're remodeling Eggdog!
(One final pipe appears, and out pops...)
SMG4: Tari!!
SMG3: Dammit.
(SMG4 snaps his fingers and Tari leaps into the air, transforming into her new design.)
SMG4: Well? How does it feel?
(Tari begins having fun with her new design: Gaming, getting scared by Mario, relaxing on a beach, and petting a duck.)
Tari: I LOVE IT!!
SMG4: Alright, heck yeah!! That's enough of that! Let's get this video started!!!
(The intro properly plays.)
Scene 1[]
(Mario drives crashes his car in front of Meggy's house. The car flips over and sets ablaze as he gets out.)
Tari: (Still inside) H-Help...!
(Mario pulls her out.)
Tari: (Sighs in relief) I'm never gonna get used to your parking, Mario...
Mario: Parking? What's that?
Tari: (Rolls her eyes and giggles) Come on! Let's not keep Meggy waiting!
(Tari walks up to Meggy's door. She tries to open it, but Mario runs up and kicks it open. Tari isn't happy about that.)
Mario: What? We're good friends! She won't mind!
(Suddenly, they hear Meggy giggling. She stands before them in a darkened room, her pupils pea-sized, and grinning like a madwoman.)
Tari: (Freaked out) Uhh... Meggy?
(She inches her way closer to them, then starts squeeing like she won the lottery.)
Mario: You ok?
Meggy: OK? OK!! I'M BETTER THAN OK MARIO BECAUSE I'M... (She puts on her graduation cap and leaps into the air.) GRADUATING!!!!!!!!!!! (She lands, then squees some more.)
Tari: Yaaaay! I'm really happy for you meggy. Lets go! We should just be on time!
Mario: MARIOS DRIVING!
(He gets in the inflamed car.)
Meggy: (Grabs the car and shakes Mario out) Ohhhh no you don't. (Flips the car back and reverses Mario's damages) I gotta get there on time, so Im driving!
Mario: Are you tall enough to driv- (Meggy punches his chest. Mario, unamused, looks at the camera.)
Scene 2[]
(The trio are on the road to college. Meggy notices some glass bottles at her feet.)
Meggy: So... I couldnt help but notice that this is a new car? What gives Mario?
Mario: Oh, it's Bob's car!
Meggy: Bob's car? He lent it to you?
(Flashback. Bob is running from the law when he drives up to Mario, who is eating an ice cream cone.)
Bob: Mario! You gotta help me hide this car, man! (He plants the keys in Mario's eye and runs off.)
(Flashback ends.)
Mario: Yes.
Meggy: (Doubtful about Mario's story) Okaaaayyyy...
(A knocking noise is heard.)
Meggy: What was that?
Mario: The car must be hungry.
(The banging noise is louder the second time. The trio stop the car get out to investigate. The noises are coming from the trunk. Meggy and Tari look at Mario, no doubt believing this was his doing also.)
Mario: Its probably a squirrel
(A screaming noise is heard from inside the trunk.) ???: Ahhhhh... LET ME OUT LET ME OOOUUUUTTTT....
Mario: ...A talking squirrel
(Meggy proceeds to open the trunk.)
Tari: (Stopping her) W-Wait! Are you sure you want to do that?
Meggy: Ughh i'm going to be late! *Lets just get this over with. *muffled
(She opens the trunk. A Pianta bound in ropes jumps out of the trunk) Yellow Pianta: Get this (bleep) off meeeee! (and runs off screaming, Tari does the same the other way. Meggy glares at Mario, definitely believing he had something to do with this.)
Mario: (In denial) I swear Mario didnt know
Meggy: I would investigate but... I really need to get to my graduation
(Before she could get back in the car, she notices Tari looking up at a cat in a tree.)
Meggy: Come on, Tari! We gotta go!
Tari: But Meggy! We can't just leave this cat here! Look how cute he is!
Cat: I want to die.
Meggy: OK, well. Get it down, and let's go!
(A cheerful Tari tries to jump up to the cat, to no avail. She then tries to climb the tree, only to fall back down.)
Meggy: Come on, Tari! Hurry up!
Tari: I-I'm trying!
(She tries to shake the tree, shove the tree, and fight against the tree, only to hurt herself.)
Mario: DON'T WORRY, MEGGY! MARIO WILL HELP!
(Mario runs over and leaps into the air to get to the cat's level.)
Mario: Here! Take the tree down with this!
(Mario plants a grenade, which goes kaboom and kills the cat... And in an act of karma, the tree collapses on top of Mario.)
Meggy: Finally! Alright, graduation, here I- (The car won't start.) W-What?
(The Pianta has returned and emptied all the gas.)
Yellow Pianta: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, BOB!!!! (He runs off.)
Meggy: GUYS, STOP HIM!
Mario: LET'S GET HIM, TARI!
(Mario tackles the Pianta and beats him up.)
Mario: QUICK, TARI! KICK HIS ASS!
(The Pianta pushes Mario off and gets up. Tari lightly strikes the Pianta's back, to which the Pianta slaps her hand away.)
Tari: (Saddened) Why would you do that? That's really, really mean...!
(The Pianta (And Mario) clearly doesn't have time for this, so he twists Mario's head, killing him, grabs the gas can, and runs off laughing.)
Meggy: (Sighs) Come on, guys. Help me push the car. There's a gas station nearby.
(The trio get ready to push their car.)
Meggy: Uh, Tari, why don't you sit in the driver's seat and steer the wheel?
Mario: WHAT?! CAN MARIO DO THAT?!
Tari: Yeah, Meggy. I can push! Honest!
Meggy: (Sighs) Look, Tari, I really would like to give you a shot at pushing. In fact, I'd even coach you on it. But right now, I'm late to my graduation. So, please just do as I say.
(A saddened Tari gets in the car. Mario reaches out to touch Meggy's shoulder.)
Meggy: No, you're still pushing, Mario.
Mario: Piss!
Scene 3[]
(Later, Mario and Meggy pushes the car while Tari sadly sits in the driver's seat.)
Mario: Are we there yet?!?!
(Meggy is angry a little bit and she look at Mario's with angry eyes because of Mario's laziness)
(Mario is angry and tired a little bit, but then he sees a nerd Koopa Troopa driving a fish-shaped car. Mario then gets the idea of assaulting the Koopa with a bat he pulls out and stealing his car.)
Meggy: OH no you don't!
(The nerd turns on music as he is driving. Mario is resisting temptations in his head to beat the Koopa up and steal his car but then he eventually loses it.)
Mario: I don't need it... I don't need it... I definitely don't need it... (part where he loses it) IIIII NEEEEEEEEEED IIIIIIT!
(He stops pushing the car and walks up to the Koopa, pulling him out of the car and getting ready to steal it. This doesn't work as Meggy angrily stops him.)
(Meggy and Mario go back to pushing the car, the latter with an axe on his head. Tari recovers from her sadness as she sees something ahead.)
Tari: Guys we're here!!
(The three have finally made it to the gas station.)
Meggy: Alright, to speed things up, I'll go inside now and pay! You fuel up Tari!
(Tari gives an approving nod. She then steps out and starts filling in the car while Meggy gets into some trouble in the convenience store with Aziz, the gas station attendant.)
Mario: Hey Tari, Imma go piss
Tari: Ok!
(A red car pulls up to the gas station.)
???: Th-that's her, boss!
(Tari is startled to encounter the Pianta mafia again.)
Pianta Boss: MY BABY!!!! (walks up to the stolen car and hugs it) What did they do to you? They won't hurt you anymore, no they won't.
(The Pianta Boss starts weirdly kissing the car before turning to Tari, who is scratching her sleeve.)
Pianta Boss: Gonna kill you and I'll keep killing you (pulls out a bat) and I'll never-
Tari: N-No! Please don't take this car! We need it to get Meggy to her graduation!
(The Pianta mafia doesn't give a crap and laughs.)
Pianta Boss: You think I care?
Tari: I... I'm gonna stop you!!! You... big... meanies! (goes up to punch the Pianta Boss but does so weakly. The Pianta Boss punches her away)
Pianta Boss: DEFEATED NOW, BITCH! (speeds off with his mafia)
Mario: Ahhhh that's better... (looks around) Say, where's the car?
Tari: (pulling herself up, crying) It got stolen....
Mario: Ahite, gimme a sec...
Scene 4[]
Mario: (walking away from the gas station and towards a car on the street as the GTA SA UI pulls up, said GTA SA intro music plays on top of the next few moments thru out here) Mario's gonna do something very illegal! (pulls Hans Moleman out from his car, giving him a GTA V 1 star wanted level despite GTA SA UI is shown, which is 6 stars and drives off towards the mafia)
(The Pianta Boss and one other mafia member see Mario and fire at him making the wanted level up by 1. Mario avoids the gunfire and approaches the two cars going up to wanted level 3, slapping down and flipping over the red one making the wanted level max.)
Mario: NO!! (slaps the Boss, his minion, and the black car away before getting into the car, which has caught fire, and driving away.) Ya freaking jackass!
Mission Passed! Respect +
(Mario brings the car back to the gas station)
Mario: Job's done!
Tari: Mario, you did it!!... kinda. I... I wish I was as brave as you...
(Meggy finally walks out of the store.)
Meggy: Hey guys... sorry... I'm late. There was... some inconvenience.
Aziz: (confined to a wheelchair) You still need to pay the oxygen fee!
Meggy: Is the car all good to go- (looks at the burning car) ...I don't even wanna know right now. (The three all get into the car.) Let's go! Maybe I'll be able to catch just the end of my graduation!!!
Scene 5[]
(Fortunately, the three were able to make it to Omnia Academy. Meggy is ready to deliver her graduation speech, surrounded by faculty and friends. Mario and Tari watch from the side.)
Bob: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!
Meggy: (taps microphone) Hey guys! Thank you all for being here! It's been an incredibly long journey (flashbacks to SMG4: War Of The Fat Italians 2021, SMG4: Meggy Moves In, and SMG4 Movie: Meggy's Destiny) We've fought, laughed, cried... and have been on so many adventures together. (More flashbacks, this time to SMG4 Movie: REVELATIONS, SMG4 Movie: 10 Year Anniversary Special, and The Showgrounds.) And now... it feels like the end of something... but really I know that this is just the beginning! I'm so excited to keep growing and getting better... This time... as a COACH!!! And I hope you're all there with me for it!
(The audience gives a round of applause.)
Melony: YAAAAY! MEGGY!!!!!!
Luigi: GOOOO MEGGYYYY!!!
(Dr. Kawashima hands Meggy her diploma and takes a picture with the graduate, who then throws her cap in the air.)
(The camera pans up and then down again, with Bob angrily sitting in front of the damaged car and Meggy standing with Mario and Tari.)
Tari: I'm so proud of you Meggy! I'm sorry today had to be so stressful.
Meggy: It wasn't you, Tari. (takes the flowers from Tari's hands) The reason I got so upset was because... I was worried you guys wouldn't get to see me graduate. You all mean so much to me.
(Mario and Tari are in awe as they feel special.)
Tari: Well... I never want to slow anyone down again... and I want to be able to protect the people I care about. So... Meggy... now that you're an official coach... Will you train me to become stronger?
Meggy: (squees excitedly) OF COURSE!!!!! Put 'er there my first official student!
(Meggy and Tari dab each other up. It is so strong that it destroys the earth.)
(Bob got the car repaired and is happily driving Meggy and Tari as Mario dances on the car's roof to a fusion of "Welcome to San Andreas" and the SMG4 outro theme.)
CJ: What in f*ck's name are you doing?
(Credits roll.)