SMG4: High School Mario is the thirtieth episode of Season 7 and the TBA overall to be uploaded by SMG4.
This episode was aired on July 29, 2017.
Pack your bags cause it's time to go to school. Follow Mario and the gang as they are forced to take classes cause they're pretty damn stupid.
The episode begins at the front of Mushroom Kingdom High School. SMG4 drove up in a forklift, carrying Mario, Luigi, Toad, Peach Toadstool, Daisy, Bowser, Wario, and Fishy Boopkins in tow. He dumped them all at the school entrance, with Mario complaining how he thought they were going to Disney World. SMG4 told them all that he was sending them back to school after reading comments from fans saying that all of the characters were too stupid. Mario retorted by saying "Pingas". As the school bell rings for classes to begin, SMG4 left them behind as he drove off saying "Bye b*tch", while Boopkins pointed out how the whole premise reminded him of high school anime. The blooper then separated the classes into multiple segments.
The class began with the English teacher, Mace Windu, reading Go The F**k To Sleep to the students. While some of them tried to pay attention, Mario fell asleep and snored loudly, causing Mace to reprimand him. When Mario continued to be disrespectful, he eventually got defenestrated. As class proceeded, Wario and Bowser started to pick on Fishy Boopkins by throwing wads of paper at him. He loudly told them to cut it out. However, the two bullies played innocent when Mace looked at them, causing Boopkins to get scolded instead. Wario and Bowser then returned to harassing him once Mace continued reading. As Mario returned from outside, Peach begged him to intervene; however, he decided to join the bullies in their harassment instead, prompting Mace to throw him out the window a second time.
In Science Class, Kamek taught the students how to set off a volcano experiment, instructing each of them to add baking soda. Peach and Daisy managed to successfully complete the experiment, but some of the other students had trouble. Luigi added a small amount of baking soda to his volcano, but he panicked and ran off when he worried it might explode (although it only managed to bubble a little). Mario just shoved the entire box of baking soda into his volcano and called it a success. Bowser ignored the experiment altogether and instead pranked Toad by sprinkling baking soda over his nose while he was sleeping. Wario inhaled the baking soda through his nose and started hallucinating as if the baking soda was a drug. Fishy Boopkins added his baking soda, but his volcano refused to erupt. He decided to add several more boxes to the mixture, which caused a massive explosion that sent Boopkins flying out of the building.
In History Class, Benjamin Franklin tried to teach the students about the history of yarn. However, they got bored with the subject pretty quickly and sneaked out of the classroom, leaving behind decoys in their place.
As the bell rang for recess, the students stepped out into the hallway to take a break. Mario opened up his locker full of spaghetti and started to swim around in it. Bowser tried to flirt with Peach, only for the princess to kick him in the groin, which resulted in a relatable reaction. Boopkins opened up his locker and started to chat with some of his body pillows, which slightly perturbed Luigi. Suddenly, Bowser sneaked up behind the green plumber and gave him a wedgie. As he and Wario started to mock Luigi's pain, Daisy confronted them and threatened to kick them again if they did not stop. After the girls left, Bowser warned Luigi to watch his back. Boopkins tried to stand up for Luigi, but Bowser just shoved him into a nearby locker, where he found Frankie trapped as well.
The Cooking instructor, Walter White, demonstrated how to bake a cake for the students. Peach was able to craft the exact same cake from completely random ingredients. Wario's cake ended up being nothing more than a sentient mess of an unidentified slime (Muk), but he still considered it a success. Toad gathered his ingredients, which turned out to be bottles of bleach, which Luigi groaned at a bit, as he thought Toad was going to either commit suicide, or poison people with the cake. Boopkins prepared to cook his cake on the stove, but he got so distracted by singing that he did not notice the stove fire that emerged and proceeded to spread.
After seeing the professionally crafted cake that Bowser made, Luigi became intimidated by how everyone else was doing, but he was still determined to do his best. He started tossing multiple ingredients into the bowl, accidentally grabbing Toad as well when he walked by. He celebrated after putting the concoction into the microwave, only for Toad to angrily punch him after he opened it up saying "B***H". Finally, Mario just decided to take the lazy route and ordered an already-made cake off of Amazon. A Piranha Plant from Amazon then gave the package to Mario. The cake said, "Nobody Loves You". He presented the cake to Walter, in which the instructor proceeded to hit him for cheating.
Horrified by the subject, Mario immediately fled from the classroom. The class' teacher, who turned out to be Toadsworth, tried to teach the students about basic math. Toad struggled with the worksheet in front of him; however, it was because he did not even know how to write his own name. Bowser was pretty confident with his math skills, using his experience with online porn as a reference. The class quickly became too difficult, as what looked like a simple addition problem quickly became an overly-complicated formula. Boopkins tried to guess the value of "X", but Toadsworth berated him for his overly simple answer of "14".
Scorpion coached the class through a game of dodgeball, with Wario, Bowser, Peach, and Daisy up against Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Boopkins. Chaos ensued as the students threw numerous balls at each other. Toad prepared to throw a ball but got hit, causing him to bounce everywhere and hit Peach in the process, who merely dropped a ball. Mario managed to gain the upper hand for his team as he opened his mouth to a ridiculous length and swallowed all of the balls that came his way. He then instructed Luigi to pick him up and use him as a launcher, allowing them to pelt the opposing team with multiple balls at once. Bowser suddenly sneaked up on Luigi and prepared to throw a ball at him. Boopkins tried protecting Luigi by jumping in the way, but his jump was too short, causing Luigi to get hit out of the game.
The students headed for the cafeteria once the bell rang for lunch. Mario approached the server, Zangief, asking for spaghetti, only to receive an inedible looking goop (also Muk) instead. The same "meal" also attacked Toad while Mario went to find a table. As the plumber sat down, he vowed to kill SMG4 once the day was over. While he ate with Peach, Daisy, and Boopkins, Luigi stopped by and sat down next to Peach. This infuriated Bowser, who had already claimed that spot, but Peach told him to get lost, calling him "Tubby". Bowser walked away defeated, but he gave Luigi a second warning.
Meanwhile, Boopkins was trying to feed one of his body pillows, Nadoka, which the others found to be unsettling. Bowser decided to pick on Luigi some more by throwing an apple at him. Luckily, Peach warned the green plumber in time, causing him to duck down. However, the apple ended up hitting Boopkins' pillow, leaving Boopkins horrified. Seeing that, Luigi got fed up with Bowser and retaliated by throwing a milk carton at the Koopa King. He managed to hit his mark, and Bowser was sent flying across the cafeteria and into a box. Furious, Bowser confronted Luigi and challenged him to a fight behind the gym after school, leaving everyone else but Mario in shock.
Ezio tried to teach the class how to speak Italian. While the Mario Bros. were obviously able to pass with flying colors due to them being Italians from birth, most of the other students struggled, either by having difficulty with pronunciation, speaking gibberish, or making stereotypical gestures.
For the last class of the day, the students worked on making sculptures out of paper machete and other objects. The only exceptions were Bowser, who taped an "insert foot here" sign on the back of Toad's head, and Mario, who nailed a board to his head and resorted to eating glue (which was later revealed to be super glue).
End of School
The final bell eventually rang for the students to go home. Luigi was initially relieved until Bowser reminded him of their fight. Terrified, Luigi hid under a table in the art room. Boopkins found the younger Mario brother and tried to console him, reminding Luigi about all the times that he and Mario were able to defeat the Koopa King. This was enough to give Luigi some renewed confidence, and he vowed that he would not let Bowser push him around anymore. He turned to his brother for reassurance, only for Mario to suddenly freeze in place from the super glue.
Everyone headed out to the schoolyard as Luigi and Bowser prepared to face off. The fight started with Bowser attempting to burn Luigi with his fire breath, prompting the other one to run in fear. However, after some more encouragement from Boopkins, Luigi was able to find the strength to fight back and charged towards Bowser with his Super Smash Bros. dash attack. The giant Koopa was caught off guard and tried to run, but he eventually found himself backed up against a truck. Luigi managed to land a massive hit, and he won the fight as Bowser fell. Everyone but Wario and Toad cheered for Luigi, when SMG4 suddenly arrived, asking everyone if they wanted to go to school tomorrow. However, the gang was still mad at him for everything he put them through. SMG4 tried to flee, driving away in his forklift, but the vehicle was too slow. Everyone charged at him at once and the vehicle exploded, ending the blooper.
Please see Mario's EXTRAS: High School Mario#Plot.