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This page is a transcript for SMG4: If Mario Was In... Splatoon 2 by SMG4
Transcript[]
(After some time training)
Meggy: Sorry for going so rough on ya, Mario!
(Meggy picks Mario up only for Mario to fall back down.)
Meggy: Anyway... Thanks for helping me train for the splatfest in a few months, Mario.
Mario: No problem... just make sure not to aim for Mario's spaghetti noodle next time.
Meggy: Of course!
???: Awww... isn't this cute?
(camera shifts to a group of octolings with "???" being their leader)
???: Aww, sorry. Am I interrupting your little date?
Meggy: W-Who are you?
???: Who am I?
???: You've never heard of...
(from now on, "???" will be referred to as "Desti")
Desti: DESTI! The unstoppable leader of the Octoposse!!!
(Meggy thinks for a bit)
Meggy: Doesn't ring a bell.
Desti: (shocked) WHAT!?
Mario: Octoroks? You're the guys from that zoldo game right?
(Meggy giggles at Mario's stupidity. Desti then fires a shot at Mario's face.)
Meggy: HEY! Are you looking for a fight?!
(The octolings take out their weapons, only for Desti to give them a signal to hold their fire.)
Desti: Says the girl that failed in the first round of Splatfest.
Desti: I'll make sure to send you my autograph when the Octoposse win this year.
(Desti and the Octoposse exit)
Meggy: ARRGH! Just who does she think she is?!
Mario: Ooo... any more paint and Mario is gonna become Bob Ross.
Meggy: Red! We can't let those OctoIdiots beat us!
Meggy: We've got to train extra hard now!
Mario: What? No... the only training Mario wants to do is catching the train home...
Meggy: COME ON MARIO! NO EXCUSES!
(Mario willingly accepts.)
(Next scene, Mario has a jet pack on in a different battle arena from the first scene.)
Mario: Uhh... Meggy... isn't this a bit extreme?
Meggy: Nope! ;)
(Meggy takes off on her jet pack, shooting some ink. Mario goes next and starts to soar around the battle area. Mario then says that he can fly. He then immediately crashes into a wall. Next, Mario and Meggy train with Carbon Rollers. Mario immediately gets knocked out by Meggy. Next, Mario and Meggy train with Splattershots. Meggy takes out another one. Mario retaliates with a Mini Splatling, but he doesn't get very far with it in terms of distance.)
Meggy: Time to end this! (Meggy takes out her Tenta Missiles and defeats Mario once again.)
Mario: Are we done yet?
Meggy: Ok, Mario. The next weapon to test is... the Tactical Nuke!
Mario: WHAT?!?!
Meggy: Let's go!
Mario: Can we take a break? I'm tired and hungry and my ass hurts.
Meggy: But Mario, we gotta train! We can't let that Octoling be better than us!
Mario: Can Mario have some food first?
Meggy: Mario... it you're not going to take this seriously... then... just don't worry about it. (Meggy walks away sadly.) Just... just go home. I need to train.
Mario: (angrily) F-fine! I didn't want to do this stupid crap anyway! (He walks off. Outside, we see that the sewer is closed.) What's-a going on here? What happened to my exit? (A Small Fry emerges from the sewer.) Fishies?!?! (Pearl and Marina approach the plumber.)
Pearl: Sorry, buddy, the sewer is closed due to an infestation.
Mario: AHH! TALKING BABY! (Terrified, Mario kicks Pearl into the sewer, where the Small Fry attacks her. Marina stares at Mario and the plumber walks off while whistling. He heads to a subway.) Hmm... a train, huh? Oh, boy! Mario is going home! (He gets on the train and sits near Cap'n Cuttlefish.)
Cap'n Cuttlefish: Хорошо (Okay). (Suddenly, the train picks up speed and abruptly stops. Cap'n Cuttlefish lands on top of Mario, who freaks out and punches him.) My ass!
Mario: Hey, wait... this isn't Mario's stop!
Desti: Hiya! (Mario assumes a karate stance.)
Mario: Stay back! Or imma make you into sushi!!!
Desti: Oh, hush. I'm just here to talk, Mari... a? (confused) Wait... Maree-o? Mary? Mayro?
Mario: My name's Mario, bitch! What do you want, anyway?! You gonna shoot me again?!
Desti: Oh, hehe, sorry about that. I'm here to ask you a favor. I saw your skills at last year's Splatfest. (As she talks, flashbacks from SMG4: If Mario Was In... Splatoon play.) I've never seen such creative skill before... (End flashback.) I think you're better off with us rather with Meggy. What do you say?
Mario: Nah.
Desti: Wha?
Mario: Imma too tired... and your team name sounds stupid.
Desti: I really recommend you reconsider...
Mario: BUZZ, LOOK! AN ALIEN!
Desti: Huh? (Mario runs off. An annoyed Desti calls her minions. As Mario continues running, one of Desti's minions appears with a Heavy Splatling.)
Minion 1: GET OVER HERE! (She opens fire, but Mario escapes.)
Mario: I gotta get out of this crazy place! (Another minion blocks Mario's path.)
Minion 2: Hey, hey, hey! (She put a Splash Wall in front of her and laughs... but Mario simply walks through.)
Mario: Ok.
Minion 2: Shit! Damn it! (She aims a Charger at Mario.)
Mario: Oh, hell, no. I'm outta here. (Mario successfully escapes and even uses a decoy to distract the minion. He finds a third minion patrolling the level below him. He also sees Cap'n Cuttlefish.)
Cap'n Cuttlefish: да (Yes). (In the next scene, we see Cap'n Cuttlefish on the stairs.) All of you are babies!
Minion 3: What the fu... (Before she could finish, Mario kicks Cap'n Cuttlefish off the stairs.)
Cap'n Cuttlefish: сука блять (Fucking bitch)! (He tackles the minion. At the bottom of the stairs, Mario celebrates, but the final minion approaches him with a Sloshing Machine, but Mario thinks it's a...)
Mario: Oh! A washing machine! Mario needs to clean his clothes. Thank you! :D (Mario puts his clothes in the Sloshing Machine, shocking the minion. After a while, Mario puts his somehow clean clothes on and leaves as the minion barfs. Later, Mario makes it to the exit, but Desti, who is presumably the one who locked it, stops him.)
Desti: Come on, Malleo. Don't you want to join the best of the best?
Mario: No! I said I don't want to join your stupid ass team! I'm already on one!
Desti: Oh, please. Has that girl ever done anything skilled before? (Not even a SECOND later, Desti gets hit by an ink blast and is sent flying into a wall, knocking the Octoling unconscious. Mario turns to find Meggy with her Splattershot.)
Meggy: Oh, damn!
Mario: So... you were saying?
Meggy: Mario! I've been looking everywhere for you!
Mario: How'd you find me?!
Meggy: Marina was crying about some "crazy red guy" who went into the subway. (As she speaks, Desti regains consciousness.) Look, Mario... about before... I just wanted to say...
Mario: Hey, it's ok. Mario had fun doing that stuff!
Desti: Are you two done yet?! Ugh, Mario, what do you even see in her? She can't even fight well.
Meggy: Want to say that again? Mario stays on the SplatSquad!
Desti: Awww, is somebody a little upset?
Mario: Uh... can Mario say something? (Mario point his figure up)
Meggy and Desti: NO! (Mario shuts up and point his figure down)
Desti: Looks like you leave me no choice. (She takes out her .52 Gal and she and Meggy face off in a 1v1 match. Desti fires first, but Meggy dodges and the ink hits Mario instead. Meggy returns fire, but Desti dodges and fires three shots. The first two miss, but the third one grazes Meggy's left cheek. Angered, she turns into a squid and swims through the orange ink. She turns back into a humanoid and aims her weapon at Desti, who grabs Mario. She then fires her gun at Meggy, disarming the Inkling.) Game over. (Meggy surrenders... but then gets an idea.)
Meggy: Oh, Mario! Watch out! Desti is going to force you to exercise! (Not wanting to exercise, the plumber freaks out and squirms.)
Desti: HEY! Stop that!!!! (Desti looses her balance and falls. Meggy grabs her weapon and she and Desti aim at each other... until Desti notices something.) Wait, hold on. Where'd Maryo go? (The plumber walks off.) HEY! GET BACK HERE! WE'RE NOT DONE!
Meggy: Mario!! Wait!!! (She runs after Mario.)
Desti: DAMMIT! Hey! Don't you dare ignore me!!!
Meggy: Wait, Mario! Where are you going?
Mario: Oh, Imma just going home. Mario's been through a lot today. Have fun shooting with your friend.
Meggy: Hold on! Who's team are you going to be on?
Mario: Imma be on Team Mario.
(Meggy laughing.)
Meggy: Oh. Mario. You're still a big idiot. C'mon. I'm bored of training. Let's go grab some lunch!
Mario: BOIIIIIIIIII!
Desti: HEYYYY! I'M RIGHT HERE!!! HELLLO?!!!!!
Mario: So what do you feel like having?! :D
Meggy: I dunno. I can only afford instant noodles. Hehe...
Desti: DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!!!!
Desti: Ughh... fine! Whatever. I'll just get someone else!
(Desti looks around for somebody.)
Desti: Like... ummmm... uhhh...
(Desti turns around and noticed Cap'n Cuttlefish.)
Desti: HEY YOU! JOIN MY TEAM!
Cap'n Cuttlefish: Yes! :3