Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This page the transcript for SMG4: If Mario Was in... Minecraft.
Transcript[]
(Announcement, and then the Glitch Production Logo comes out. The episode opens with Mario digging deep inside a hole near Peach's Castle)
Mario: Hey SMG4 are there actually diamonds down here?
SMG4: Okay. Now look at people's asses for a while.
Winnie the Pooh (onscreen): I'm Dummy Thicc! Ahh the clap, off my ass cheeks!
SMG4: Dat ass...
Mario: SMGfourrrrrrrrrrr!
SMG4: Huh? Wha? Uhhhh yeah just keep digging! That should keep him busy from annoying me.
Mario: Hmmmmmm....(Proceeds to dig more farther, and realizes ) Uh-oh! Mama-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~!
SMG4: What's that noise? Eh, it's probably nothing.
Mario: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~Ow, my ass! (lands on the ground) Oooooh, where am I? (Reads Minecraft - Now Dummy Thicc!) Hmmm Mario's going to need more information.
(Mario explores inside a village, him seeing a Minecraft Villager chasing a chicken)
Minecraft Villager: Get in mah belleh!!
Mario: Mama mia!
Villager: To show my feelings towards you, i want you to have this...
(Prepares to show gift to Creeper, but the latter explodes. Two Golems then fight each other)
Left Villager: Pikachu Use thunder...smash!
Mario: Hello! Woah! (Sees two Villagers giving love to each other) Hey, Marios a little lost...Hooooo! Okay! Byeee! Mario's got to go! (Steve then launches himself from a window and lands near Mario)
Steve: Hi guys!
Mario: Steve? Wait, if you're here then that means I'M IN ROBLOX!!! NOOOOOOO! Mario cant be here, he hates this stupid place!
Steve: What did you say!?
Mario: I'm-I'm a so sorry...Hey buddy, you wouldn't be able to help Mario get back through that hole back home would you?
Steve: (idea pops, followed by him gasping) chickens! Yeahhhhhhhhh! Woaaaaaaaah I can fly! Yeahhhhhhh!
Mario: Oh for God's sake...I'll figure out how to get out of here myself! Hmmmm...Let me think...(Scans atmosphere, and sees Villager with chest)
Villager: Wingardium Leviosa. (Summons False Anime Creeper)
Mario: Building my way out! Imma genius! Now i just need materials...(Begins building TNT inside house) BOOMSHAKALAKA HERE COMES MARIO! HOO! HOOO! Let's see - all done! (Villager scans what's happening) I did it! I did it! I DID IT! I DID IT! Okie dokie! HERE WE GO! YEAAAH NOTHING CAN STOP ME!
Steve: Alright! Let's do this!
Mario: Haha!
(Begins building blocks to the hole, only for Steve to catch sight of a chicken.)
Steve: Chicken!
Mario: MAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(Steve descends towards it, making them plummet to the ground. A Mine Cart track is built for Mario to descend and rise up to get to the hole. Unfortunately, SMG4 is pushing trash towards the same one.)
SMG4: Piss off.
(Trash lands at Mario, causing the red plumber to soar back to the ground.
Mario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Mine cart ends up blowing up the course) Grrr! La, la, la, hm, hm, hm! I got it! (Creates portal and hops in) COME ON!
(Ghast turns up and idly floats around)
Mario: LET'S GO RIGHT NOW BRING IT ON HERE WE GOOOOOOOOO! (Jumps on the ghast and utilizes it to ride on) GO YOU FLYING WHITE TURD!
Ghast: Imma end this man's whole career. YOLOOOOOOOOO! (Crashes into a lake of lava, causing Mario to respawn in a forest)
Mario: Mama mia...(Steve turns up to offer him a bed) I don't need your help! I'll build my own shelter! (Builds his unstable one and begins to sleep) Ah, night-night. (Screen shows You may not rest now, there are monsters nearby) OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Creeper: Hey, how ya doin'?
Mario: Mama mia...
Creeper: I'm guppy! (Explodes, with the result of Mario reluctantly turning up)
Steve: Room for one more!
Mario: Ohhhhhh fine (Both enter Steve's home) Mama mia...
Steve: Yo, lock that door.
Mario: Okie dokie - (Suddenly sees food and gets overjoyed) Mario's weiner just got a little bit harder. Yeet! (Begins to eagerly inhale all the food on the table) Hey Steve, got any more food?!
Steve: Goddammit!
Mario: Don't worry, Steve!!! I'm a professional chef! (Conjures a meal based off inedible products) See! You can cook anything if you have the imagination - (Passes out)
Steve: Ugh. (Heads to sleep)
Witch: Iiiii'm about to LICK somebody's ass...
Mario: (snores twice while saying night night and ah spaghetti in between)
Witch: Time to die! (Tosses potion)
Mario: AAAAHHHH! Sexy Luigi! (Flails around enough so that the potion gets reversed, causing the Witch rather than Mario to burn, causing the former to scream and the latter to start sniffing around) Yummy! Yippee!
Steve: WILL YOU SHUT UP?! (Suddenly sees what's going on)
Mario: Mmm...Mmm...Yum...
Steve: OOOHHHHH HELL NAW!
Mario: GET! IN! THERE! YOU! BITCH! (Wakes up) Huh? Did somebody tap on me or something...
Witch: You fucking son of a bitch...
Mario: Hoohoo! Hello!
Steve: Mario! Catch! (Throws sword at Mario)
Mario: You don't fuck with Mari-(Sword stabs hand) Oh FUUUUUU- (Witch laughs maniacally while she summons Zombie Creepers. Mario panics in fear) STEVE! DISTRACT THEM!
Steve: Did, I, uh...(Quickly draws himself a crudely done yet believable mask of a zombie) I'm a ZOMBAY now. Boo.
Mario: CMON POCKETS, GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD! (Chest reveals Fire Flower and Spaghetti, and a stick. He combines them to form a bazooka) Boiiiiiiiii! DIE BITCH! (Fires on the zombie crowd, accidentally blowing up an acting Steve in the process)
Witch: Ohhhhh nooooooo! (Takes out laptop, which she types /gamemode creative. The words Creative mode: Enabled then appear above her head, signifying that she has enabled creative mode.) Suck my dick! (Flies through the ceiling, breaking it)
Mario: Did...he ust fly using that laptop?! (Through a flashback, Mario remembers trying to use the laptop in order to try to fly through the hole) Okie dokie! Grr! WOOOWWWWWWWW!
(The witch is seen creating a green portal while maniacally laughing. As a result, Mario lunges and tackles her, both going through the portal)
Witch: AHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
Steve: Ohhhhhhh Noooooo.
Mario: Hahahahahaha! Oof! (Lands at the ground, with the witch maniacally laughing before taking off) Hey get back here! Maybe that guy can help!
Villager: Hello kind sir, very nice to meet you (The Enderman screeches before assaulting the Villager and causing him to scream)
Mario: Woah!
Enderman: Please give me huggy wuggies, Ooh woo!
Mario: I'm not sure what you're talking about.
Enderman: Look at me. LOOK AT ME! You little shit. (Teleports to Mario's House. Luigi looks frightened, and decides to ask Greg The Alien a question)
Luigi: So uhhh...When did you move in?
(Enderman then steals a plate of spaghetti)
Enderman: Look at this spaghetti!
Mario: OOOOOHHHHH!
Enderman: Gotcha bitch! (Tackles Mario to the ground and teleports in front of his path everywhere he runs to)
Mario: EEP! AAAAAHHH! EEP! COME ON!
Enderman: AHH MY PINGAS!
(Mario quickly builds up a stone fortress and gets inside)
Mario: HAH! YOULL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET ME YOU ASS! Hm? (Sees Enderman has opened up the entrance)
Enderman: Yo man what's up?
Mario: AH CRAP THEY KNOW HOW TO PICK UP BLOCKS!! Hm? What is he even looking at? Woah! (Sees Steve magically putting a stone block down) Steve!
Steve: What's up? YATATATATA! (Strikes Enderman)
Mario: Yeah! Hahaha! Oh thanks Steve! You really saved Marios meatball.
Steve: Hell yeah! (Both go inside a portal to see the witch partying in valuables)
Mario: HEY! Give me that laptop!
Witch: AHH CRAP! Yeet! (Flees)
Mario: AFTER THAT BITCH! GET BACK HERE!!
Witch: OOOHOHOHO! (Backed up by an army of Endermen)
Mario: Oh no you don't! Waha! (Throws head, only for it to burn)HAH! AINT TRICKING ME WITH THAT CRAP AGAIN! Here we go!!
Steve: (Walks with head covered with a box) Gentlemen.
Mario: Hahahahahaha! (Fights for the laptop) GIMME THE LAPTOP!!!!
(In the ensuing struggle, they summon blocks, pigs, and even Roblox-like spiders. They end up spawning in The End, creating the villagers humping each other from 1:46, teleporting to Jeff's room...)
Jeff: GET THE F*** OUT I'M PLAYING MINECRAFT!
(...And taking themselves to the title screen before settling it in another Minecraft background)
Mario: You dead, son! (Summons two swords) Yeah! Hahaha! (Witch summons Mushroom that shrinks Mario) You sunava bitch!
Witch: Hehehehe. Bitch. (Pokes Mario, sending him flying.)
Steve: Metal Gear Metal Gear. (Sneaks up and breaks the laptop)
Witch: Noooooooo!
(Mario reverts to normal size again)
Mario: YAY STEVE YOU DID IT!
Witch: Hahaha. You fool (Summons five other laptops) I HAVE 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS (Summons a gigantic amount of blocks)
Mario: Woah! Oohoohoohoo! (Rides on mine cart and prepares to ram into the Witch) HERE WE GOOOOOOO!
Witch: You're no match for me! Ohohoho! (Summons Ender Skeletons, who promptly fire arrows that stabs Mario's head, causing the "You Died!" screen to appear)
Steve: Ah crap! (Falling token appears) DAAAAAAA! AAAAA!
Witch: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Witch's son: Hey! I'm talking to you! Mom said it's my turn on the Xbox, I've had enough to hear your shit! (Begins to fight while Steve steals a computer and programs himself with +9999 strength, who then beats up the two witches)
Mario: That's a lotta damage! Yahoo, wahoo, yeah! (Enables creative mode for himself while floating to the hole and flipping the bird) That was fantastic, see you next time. Okay, bye-bye!
SMG4: Man, Mario's been missing for a while. Should I go looking for him? (Mario floats up and descends) Oh hey Mario, I was wondering if you want to play some Minecraft!
(Mario punches him into the hole, causing him to scream and plummet down)
Steve: Hi guys!
SMG4: Hiii, Steve.
(Episode ends)