Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.
SMG4: If Mario was in... Baldi's Basics is the twenty-second episode of Season 8 and the four hundred and twentieth overall to be uploaded by SMG4.
This is also the eleventh episode of the If Mario was in... series and as the title suggests, the video is based on the Indie horror game Baldi's Basics in Education & Learning by Mystman12. All characters from the pre-1.3 version of Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning, such as Baldi and Playtime make their debut in this episode. It was aired on June 2, 2018.
The episode begins with Mario looking very dirty. Shocked, SMG4 asked if he knew about cleaning himself which he denied. Being right, he showed Mario the Dollar Shave Club and advertised it to the viewers.
The actual episode begins in the "School 4 Dummies," which is presumably the main setting of the video. Jeeves the fork left a classroom in rage, screaming at someone (presumably Mario) that he was "impossible." SMG4 appeared and asked Jeeves what was going on. Jeeves replied that, since Mario was so stupid, he was not even able to teach him simple math problems (which was probably why everyone was there.) Seeing them in the hall, Mario waved for them and said hello. After SMG4 took a guess that it did not go so well, Jeeves said that it was impossible to teach Mario anything and that he quit his job.
On his way out of the building, Jeeves was shown kicking a television screen. Mario then left the classroom, saying to SMG4 that "Jeeves must have quit because Mario is too smart for him." SMG4 told Mario that Jeeves was the fifth teacher to quit their job on that day and that Mario was a moron. Mario then asked SMG4 why he had to learn math, as he apparently had a "200 IQ."
SMG4 then flashbacked and stated that Mario gave the pizza man $300000 because he could not count. Mario said he thought it was only five dollars. Hopeless, SMG4 opened a yellow phone book and called Baldi, "the best teacher in the world," saying that someone (referring to Mario) needed to learn his basics.
Not long after, Baldi arrived and found Mario asleep with a book on his head, When Mario woke up, he was cheerfully greeted by Baldi. Mario asked out loud if someone left their hobo (referring to Baldi) at school. Baldi introduced himself and prepared to teach Mario, but Mario said he already was an "expert" at math. Hearing this, Baldi slammed an activity sheet down on the table. He told Mario that, if he answered all three questions correctly, he would get something "special."
Baldi's first question was "8 + 2," which Mario replied to be 21. After a brief moment, Baldi smacked Mario across the room. Mario got up and angrily yelled at Baldi. Baldi ignored him and read out question two, which was "0 - 9." After a moment of thought, Mario said that the answer was 1. Baldi did not reply and instead stared at Mario, dumbfounded. Thinking he got it correct, Mario celebrated, only to have Baldi yell out "WRONG!" and launch a table at him.
He read out question 3, which was pure gobbledygook. Clueless, Mario flipped Baldi off as his answer. Enraged and offended, Baldi grabbed his ruler and prepared to smack Mario. Horrified, the Italian plumber ran for his life, with the furious math teacher chasing after him. Mario tried to hide in a room, but Baldi heard him open the door and came round the corner. Mario begged for mercy but realized Baldi could only move one foot each second, so he took this opportunity to flee, with Baldi cursing whilst he did.
Mario's victory was short-lived however when he ran into Playtime. She asked him to play, and even though he declined, she threatened him, giving Mario no choice but to play along. Even worse, Baldi heard the commotion and arrived, which startled Mario, causing him to trip on her jump rope. She tried to get him to play again, but Mario decided enough was enough, and threw her in Baldi's direction, although he swiftly sidestepped out of the way. Playtime knocked over a bin, and suddenly the ground briefly shook. With Mario confused and Baldi in instant regret, Yoda suddenly came around the corner. When asked by Mario if he worked in the school, his only reply was to whip out Gotta Sweep and race towards the pair. Mario jumped out of the way, while Baldi was too slow and got swept away. Mario celebrated, but was caught by Principal of the Thing, who flung him into detention for "being Italian in the halls".
In detention, Mario resolved to find a way out of the crazy school. After fiddling with the doorknob to no avail, he peeked out the window, spotting It's a Bully, who asked Mario to give him something great in return for unlocking the door. Mario agreed to It's a Bully's request, but Baldi peeked around the corner from the hallway outside, having freed himself from Yoda's Gotta Sweep. Terrified, Mario searched the room for anything that would appease Bully, in this case, an apple.
However, Bully declined the apple, leaving Mario frantic enough to offer his clothes to Bully. Yet Bully was still stubborn, flinging Mario's clothes back at him, demanding candy. After a moment of frantic concentration, Mario found a wad of leftover gum under one of the overturned desks. Bully was pleased with Mario's gift (though he called him a "piece of shit"), and happily ate the gum, which only served to cause him to violently spin around (presumably due to the gum being contaminated) and drop dead against the wall.
Nibbling his fingers in distress, Mario had no other choice but to watch and scream as Baldi launched himself into the detention room. Frantically banging himself against the wall, Mario pleaded in anguish and hid behind the teacher's desk, though Baldi would hear none of it, slowly and menacingly slapping the ruler. Mario looked up in despair but found Arts and Crafters inside the desk. In a desperate attempt, Mario stood up and flung Arts and Crafters at Baldi, but it did nothing in halting Baldi's advances as Arts and Crafters harmlessly bounced off Baldi's head. Mario spun around in distress but found another savior in the form of another ruler on the top of the desk. Grabbing it, he prepared to confront Baldi, who charged in anger, commencing a short duel.
After exchanging and blocking each other, Baldi prepared to give Mario "five across the a**", though Mario disagreed, slamming his fist sideways into Baldi's head and laughing. The math teacher became infuriated and his head swelled up to an enormous size as he instead decided to give Mario "seven across the a**!!!". Baldi whacked Mario so hard that he smashed right through the door to the detention room, with Mario dazed against a vending machine. Thinking quickly, Mario kicked the vending machine to drop a can of Bup-a Cola (which happened to taste like d***s). He sprayed Baldi in the face with it and hightailed it out of the vicinity, leaving Baldi stalking the halls to catch him. The sound of Mario's voice appeared to come from the men's restroom, and Baldi quickly flung the door open, only to find a tape recorder playing Mario's voice, ending with "Hey, Baldi! F*** you!!"
Furious, Baldi turned to the right to see Mario dashing for the exit, but the math teacher had truly had enough of Mario's shenanigans. Assuming a stance (similar to Naruto Uzumaki's running style), Baldi used his Quick Maths technique to trailblaze through the hallways, slamming into a fearful Mario, having finally caught him. Mario pleaded once more, but Baldi only returned his begging with a cold, angry stare. In the heat of the moment, Mario screamed out "UHHHH...3 + 2 = 5?!......". And surprisingly, Baldi's face lit up in a smile, praising Mario for finally figuring out maths (or at least one simple addition problem), sticking a ribbon of approval on Mario's shoulder and swaggering off. SMG4 then walked onto the scene, having watched Baldi give Mario his ribbon, and asked if Mario felt any smarter, though the only response Mario could give (while curled up in the fetal position with a shrunken face) was an inconsolable "Noooooo....".