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Transcript[]
[SMG4 Intro Plays]
(Starts in a snow-covered town, Mario and Meggy are standing outside of a GameStop, with Mario continuously smacking himself against the doors.)
Meggy: Give it up Mario...
Meggy: We aren't buying Super Woomy Adventures today.
Mario: WAIT! I THINK I ALMOST GOT IT!
(Mario keeping ramming the door, until Meggy drags him away.)
Mario: NOOOOOOO, STUPID CHRISTMAS SEASON!
Meggy: Come on. Let's head back.
Mario: Only if you drag me the whole way.
(Meggy lets go of Mario's arm, and cheerfully walks away.)
Meggy: OK! See you next year.
Mario: HEY!
(Mario gets up and chases after her, but trips over something jutting out of the snow as he does so.)
(Confused, Mario picks the object up, which turns out to be a penguin stuck in the snow.)
Mario: What the heck?!
(Mario plops the penguin back on the ground.)
Meggy: Mario, stop messing ar-
(She sees the penguin)
Meggy: AWWWWWWWW
Meggy: Look at this lil penguin! I think he's lost. We gotta help-
Mario: FALCON KICK! (Sound Effect)
(Mario kicks the penguin off the cliff, sending it screaming into the snowy abyss below.)
Meggy: MARIO!!
Mario: Don't worry...I've done that a hundred times before! He's fine.
Meggy: NO THAT'S NOT THE POINT!-
(Meggy is cut off by a sudden rumble coming from behind them, casting a large shadow. She and Mario turn around to see the object is in fact that penguins mother, glaring at the two.)
(The Mother Penguin looks at Meggy, who gets into a fighting stance.)
Meggy: Mario, watch out. I think she might attack!
Mario: (Laughing Sound Effect) You're afraid of a fatass penguin? Mario's found scarier things in his moustache.
(The penguin looks at Meggy with a loving expression and hearts around it, as Meggy looks around, unsettled by her expression.)
(POV of Mother Penguin shows Meggy, but with the baby penguin's head replacing her, and she picks up Meggy in both flippers)
Meggy: Hey let go!
(The Penguin hugs Meggy as love hearts float around her, while Meggy looks scared as hell)
Meggy: Mario, please help!
Mario: HAH GAYYYYYY! (Sound effect)
(The Penguin looks down at Mario, and then punts him off the cliff, then runs off with Meggy in tow.)
Penguin Mom: Uh, BYE! (Sound Effect)
(In the Penguin's house, Meggy has been stuffed into a penguin costume and trying to get out of it.)
Penguin Mom: Oh Jimmy! Your favourite show is on!
Kermit the Newsanchor: (On the TV) Breaking News: A series of disappearances having been all over Cool, Cool Mountains!
(TV changes channel to a show about penguins. Meggy keeps looking around)
Meggy: There has to be a way out!
(She hears the Penguin Momma approaching, and she has a tray full of McDonald's.
Meggy: Ohhh on second thought!
Penguin Mom: Here comes the airplane! (Sound Effect)
(Penguin Mom shoves all the food in her mouth, getting ready to feed Meggy herself)
(The Penguin leans in to feed Meggy, who screams and falls over.)
Meggy: STOP! I'm not hungry!
Penguin Mom: I don't give a ho-ho F*CK!
(Suddenly, the baby penguin crashes through the window and hits a wall.)
Penguin Mom: Wwwwhat? (Sound Effect)
Mario: (Pretending to be the Baby Penguin) Oh mama, it's a me!
Mario: Your real son!
(Mario is standing outside the window, just out of sight)
Mario: Please love me!
(Penguin Mom stares at the Baby Penguin for a few seconds, then hurls it back outside.)
Penguin Mom: Here comes the airplane! (Sound Effect)
(Penguin Mom gets ready to regurgitate the food at Meggy, who screams in panic)
(Mario angrily kicks the Baby Penguin away)
Mario: Gonna have to do this the old fashioned way!
(Back in the house, Momma Penguin is shaking Meggy)
Penguin Mom: You ungrateful shit! (Sound Effect)
(Suddenly the doorbell rings, with Momma answering it to reveal Mario standing there in a penguin suit.)
Mario: Hi, i'm here to steal your child.
Penguin Mom: Oh ok.
(Beat)
Penguin Mom: WAIT! You're not the usual guy that steals my child!
Mario: Piss. (Sound Effect)
(Mario jumps out of the costume and charges into the house, grabbing Meggy)
Meggy: You couldn't come up with a better excuse!?
Mario: Hey! It works 10% of the time!
(Mario jumps out the broken window and runs off, Momma Penguin chasing after them.
Penguin Mom: YOU SON OF A BITCH! (Sound Effect)
(Mario runs up to a massive snow-covered slope, too steep for him to run down.)
Meggy: Agh! It's too dangerous!
Mario: Not if you have 10000 IQ!
(Mario lays Meggy's penguin suit-covered body down on the slope, then jumps on top of her to use her as a snowboard.)
(The Mother Penguin arrives, seeing what Mario is doing and chases after him by sliding on its stomach)
(Mario slides down the mountain, weaving and dodging Spy and Bowser, who are also on the mountain...And the Mother Penguin simply knocks them aside.)
(Further down, Popo and Nana are climbing up the mountain, and Mario zooms past them.)
Nana: Wow, i'm glad we didn't get hit!
(Momma Penguin also zooms past them)
Popo: Today's my lucky day af-
(They both get hit by Bowser crashing into them and explode.)
Mario: (Looking with binoculars) Oh, look at all the pretty colours! (Sound Effect)
Meggy: WATCH OUT MARIO!
(The pair are quickly approaching a large rock, which Mario slides up and into the air, performs a serious of tricks, and lands safely.)
Mario: See! Nothing to worry about.
(Mario looks to his left...and see's that Momma Penguin is right next to them, which prompts Mario to start panicking.)
(Meggy notices then, then looks up and notices a snowman, shifting around a tree and getting in its path.)
Snowman: (Vibing to Lo-fi Tracks) Honey? Did you order a pizza? (Sound Effect)
(Meggy smiles as they approach, Mario continues panicking)
Mario: Meggy! Stop! Murder isn't the answer!
Meggy: Shut up! I have an idea!
(They crash into the snowman, the tumbling causing them to spin and form a massive snowball, which is approaching a ramp placed by "Obama's Convenient Ski Ramp Emporium")
Barack Obama: Thank you for uh, electing me as President!
(The snowball goes up one of the ramps, and is sent flying into the air, over the horizon, as the Penguin Mom watches)
Penguin Mom: Welp...time for another trip to the orphanage.
(The Penguin Mom walks off)
(The Snowball flies over the trees, and eventually lands with a thud.)
Meggy: Ohhh...
Meggy: Hey, Mario! I'm free from that stupid suit!
Mario: (With his head turned upside down) Mario's got a headache.
Meggy: Oh hush! C'mon, lets leave!
(Meggy starts walking, but stops in her tracks when she hears a loud cracking sound, and looks down to see it in the ice they are standing on. The pair then look around in shock, as they find themselves in the middle of a massive frozen river.)
Meggy: Just move...very...slowly...
(Mario gently taps his foot on the ice, and it immediately cracks again.)
Mario: OH NOOOOOO!!!! (Sound Effect)
Meggy: Mario stop! You're too...
(Meggy stops herself, and thinks on how she wants to phrase her next words.)
Meggy: uh...well...
Mario: (Looking upset) WHAT?! GO AHEAD AND SAY IT!
Mario: I'M FAT! I KNOW...IMMA TRYING TO LOSE-
(The ice starts cracking again)
Mario: I've got a better idea: RUN, BITCH, YOLOOOOOOO!!! (Sound Effect)
(Mario tries to run across the ice, but mostly succeeds in running in place, before falling over)
Meggy: Mario! That's it!
Mario: Self harm?
Meggy: No! Sliding!
(Meggy starts sliding along the ice, moving gracefully along it and posing. Mario sees this and joins her, albeit sliding on his ass instead.)
(The two have fun on the ice, jumping and twirling in the air, until Meggy notices the same baby Penguin from before staring at them from the shore.)
Meggy: OOOOooo! Hey lil guy! We'll be right with you, okay!
Mario: Yeah! I'll kick you off another cliff, just you wait!
(Suddenly, the Penguin pulls out a large hammer)
(Mario and Meggy, sensing what the penguin wants to do, shake their heads in fear, while the Penguin slowly nods his in return.)
(The Penguin lightly taps the icy lake, and instantly destroys all the ice barring a small circle around where Mario and Meggy are standing.)
Mario: YOU SONS OF A-BITCHES! (Sound Effect)
(The penguin pulls out a box of popcorn as Mario screams at him)
Mario: Alright, looks like Mario's Olympic swimming is going to come into good use.
Meggy: Isn't the water freezing?
Mario: Oh I'm sure its not that bad-
(Mario tabs a finger in the water, and is instantly frozen in a block of ice.)
Meggy: We're doomed...
(Suddenly, a phone's notification sound goes off)
Meggy: wait...MARIO YOUR PHONE STILL HAS A SIGNAL?
Mario: Oh yeah...would you look at that...
(Mario looks at his phone, a warning message flashing about it's low battery)
Mario: AH! BUT IT'S ON 1%!
Meggy: Quick! Call for help!
(Mario frantically dials on his phone, and a voice is heard on the other side)
Mario: Yes? HELLO! WE NEED SERIOUS HELP!
Meggy looks at him excitedly)
Mario: yes...uh-huh...
Mario: Yes...pepperoni and cheese please
(Meggy looks shocked, realising that he joust phoned a pizza place)
Mario: Uh..we're near some pretty nice looking trees...a giant lake...some rocks.
Meggy: MARIO!!!!!!
Mario: Okay! Thanks! Bye!... (Hangs up as the phone powers down)
Mario: Ah, just in time. Now we won't starve, Meggy!
(Mario looks over at Meggy, who is sitting with her head hanging low.)
Mario: Meggy?...
(Cuts out to the Penguin who is still watching them across the lake)
Mario: SCREW YOU PENGUIN! WE'LL SURVIVE!
(The Sun falls and The Moon rises, Mario and Meggy still floating on the ice, both looks sad.)
Mario: so hungry...stupid pizza guy probably forgot about us
Meggy: *sigh*...so this is where it ends huh...
Meggy: Heh...I wouldn't have been doing anything for Christmas anyway...
Mario: Same here...
(The two of them share a laugh, then look down sadly as what they said sinks in)
(Suddenly, a horn rings out, and the two look over to see Spider Man, riding a jet ski with their pizza.)
Spider Man: Pizza Time.
Mario: I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T FORGET US! WOOO!
(Spider Man looks over, and notices the Baby Penguin by the Lakeside)
Spider Man: (Holding a wanted poster with the Penguin on it) HEY! YOU'RE THAT WANTED SERIAL KILLER!
Baby Penguin: (Shocked) AW, CRAP! (Sound Effect)
(Spider Man pulls out his phone, and suddenly a legion of police cars fall from the sky around the Penguin.)
Penguin Cop 1: Put your hands up in the air, buddy!
Penguin Cop 2: DROP YOUR WEAPON NOWWW!!!
Baby Penguin: You'll never take me alive! (Sound Effect)
(Baby Penguin jumps into the lake and starts swimming away)
Meggy: Mario, launch me!
Mario: What?! (Sound Effect)
Meggy: DO IT! (Sound Effect)
(Mario kicks Meggy off the ice chunk, and she cannonballs into the water, only for her frozen body to pop up right as the Penguin swims by, launching it into the air)
Spider Man: (Catches the Penguin) GOTCHA BITCH! (Sound Effect)
(The Penguin is thrown towards the cops, and is tied up with a bunch of rope.)
Baby Penguin: NOOOOOOOOOOO-
(Meggy's frozen body drifts back to the ice chunk, where Mario grabs and smashes it open, freeing her.)
(Spider Man approaches them)
Spider Man: A lot of strange disappearances have happened recently.
Spider Man: But we found the culprit! Thanks to you!
(Mario runs up and hugs Spider Man, unintentionally suffocating him in the process.)
Penguin: (In the back of the squad car) And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids! (Sound Effect)
(The Police and Spiderman head off)
Mario: We saved the town, Meggy
Meggy: We sure did...
Meggy: WAIT! WE'RE STILL STUCK HERE!
(The two of them stand around awkwardly, until Mario presents the pizza box to Meggy)
Mario: Pizza?
Meggy: YAS!
(They sit and enjoy the pizza, floating down the river.)
[End Credits]