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This page is the transcript for SMG4: Mario And... The Well.
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Transcript[]
(Glitch Production and SMG4 logos.)
(Bob is staring down a well.)
Bob: Erm, um... Oh crap!
(Bob walks away as Mario walks into view.)
Fishy Boopkins: HELP!
Mario: Hmm? Oh? Nah, it's probably nothin'.
Fishy Boopkins: Somebody help me!
Mario: Oh boy!
(Mario goes to check the well.)
Mario: Satan? Is that you again?
Fishy Boopkins: No, it's me, Fishy Boopkins!
Mario: ...Boopkins? How'd you get down there?
Fishy Boopkins: I was playing with Bob and I fell down. Now I'm stuck and can't get out. Can you help me?!
Mario: Hmmmmmmmm, ok! Don't go anywhere, Mario has an idea!
Fishy Boopkins: YAYYY!
(Mario throws down a shovel and hits Fishy Boopkin's head.)
Fishy Boopkins: OW! Ohhhhh... (He picks up the shovel.) Huh? What am I supposed to do with this?
Mario: Just dig up!
Fishy Boopkins: WHAT!?! THAT WON'T WORK!
Mario: Of course it would! Mario's a scientist!
(SMG4 walks into the scene.)
SMG4: Hey Mario, what's going on here?
Mario: Boopkins is stuck in the well...
SMG4: Has he tried digging up?
Fishy Boopkins: I SAID THAT WON'T WORK!! (Fishy Boopkins throws the shovel up to Mario's face.)
Mario: OOF!
SMG4: (Grabs a fishing rod and lowers the hook down) I got it! Just grab on Boopkins! I'll pull you out!
(The fishing hook reaches to the ground.)
Fishy Boopkins: ...WHAT?! I'M NOT GRABBING THAT! I'LL GET HURT!
SMG4: I SAID GRAB IT!
(The fishing hook starts chasing Fishy Boopkins.)
Mario: Imma guess you go fishing.
Fishy Boopkins: Leave me alone!
SMG4: STOP RESISTING! LET ME SAVE YOU!
(The hook starts chasing Fishy Boopkins faster.)
Fishy Boopkins: AAAAAH!
(The hook clings on to something.)
SMG4: WOAH I GOT A BIG ONE!!!
Mario: GO SMG4 GO!!!
SMG4: I'm gonna kick your ass.
Mario: THE MAD MAN!!! HE'S ACTUALLY GOING TO DO IT!!!
SMG4: WhoAAa!
(SMG4 catches on fire while reeling in faster. He finally reels up... a boulder. That hits his face, causing him to fly backward.)
SMG4: AHH! MY PENIS!
Mario: Nice job, dickface!
(Luigi arrives.)
Luigi: I heard what was happening, don't worry, I've got the perfect plan. And don't fret, this won't hurt!
Fishy Boopkins: YAAAAAY!
(Luigi does some weird dance and pulls out the Poltergust 3000.)
Luigi: That's-a pretty good. I'M GONNA GIVE YOU FIVE ACROSS THE ASS!
(The Poltergust turns on to Hyperdrive.)
The Vacuum: MEOWENENENENENENEN!
Luigi: Everyone stand back. Things are gonna get spicy.
(SMG4 and Mario look at each other.)
Luigi: HERE WE GO! BRACE YOURSELF BOOPKINS!
(Luigi hits the "NUT" button, yet it doesn't suck anything.)
Fishy Boopkins: Uhh, is something meant to happen?
Luigi: Just wait! I think it's warming up :D.
(Bowser comes in.)
Bowser: That's not gonna work! YOU GOTTA BE CLOSER TO HIM!
(Bowser picks up Luigi, who starts screaming and is still no closer to snatching up Boopkins.)
Fishy Boopkins: Ugh? Oh.. I'm doomed.
Mario: GO LUIGI GO!
(Tari comes in.)
Tari: Uhh...guys...what are you doing?
SMG4: Boopkins got his ass trapped in a well.
Tari: AHH! Oh no!
(Luigi is still screaming.)
Bowser: Dammit!
(Bowser throws Luigi away.)
Luigi: WAH!
Bowser: It's no use. Sorry, Boopkins! Maybe try digging up!
(Tari looks down the well.)
Tari: Boopkins! Don't worry, I'm sending a care package down until we figure out how to get you out!
Fishy Boopkins: Yay, thanks Tari!
(Tari throws the care package down and hits Boopkins.)
Fishy Boopkins: Ow...
Tari: Ah! ...S-sorry!
Fishy Boopkins: OOOOOOOO I wonder what this is.
(Fishy Boopkins opens the package.)
Fishy Boopkins: Oo wow, anime! And a 4K HD TV! Thank you so much!
(Tari gets out her phone.)
Tari: Alright! Time to get some help!
SMG4: Help? Who could possibly help?
(Two mysterious figures pop up behind the mountain.)
SMG4: Say, whaaaa-
(Shroomy and Jeeves come up to the mountain.)
SMG4: Oh, shit.
(Shroomy and Jeeves start to do poses.)
Tari: These two should have enough street smarts to help us out!
Shroomy: Alright, stand back everybody, things are gonna get intense!
(SMG4, Mario, and Luigi start to step back.)
Shroomy: And here we go!
(Shroomy swings a rope down into the well.)
Fishy Boopkins: Huh? Oh yay, I'm saved!
Shroomy: Okay Boopkins, you should be able to climb out now.
(Fishy Boopkins climbs on to the rope and tries to pull up, but fails.)
Fishy Boopkins: Eh! Ehhhhhh... *pants* Ehhhhhhh...
(Fishy Boopkins falls.)
Fishy Boopkins: Ah! Aagh, Shroomy...
Shroomy: That's me!
Fishy Boopkins: Oh, I can't climb the rope, my arms are too stubby.
Shroomy: Hmmm oh, have you considered getting a shovel and digging up?
Fishy Boopkins: (Annoyed) Yes...?
(Jeeves stares down the well.)
Jeeves: Don't worry dear boy! I say, we will form an orderly line and hoist you out! DID YA HEAR ME!? GRAB THE ROPE AND HOIST HIM OUT!!!
(Everyone forms a line and grabs on to the rope.)
Shroomy: Now remember to be safe, pull with your-
Jeeves: HEEAAAVVVEEE!!!
(Everyone pulls the rope.)
Fishy Boopkins: It's working guys!
Jeeves: HARDER!!!
Fishy Boopkins: Yayyyy!
Jeeves: HARDER!!!
(Everyone pulls the rope even harder.)
Fishy Boopkins: Yay! No killing off Boopkins tonight!
(Mario looks a ground and sees a quarter.)
Mario: A shiny quarter.
(Mario let's go of the rope to get the quarter and everyone collapses as Boopkins falls. A book then falls on his head.)
Fishy Boopkins: Uugh, huh? "So you're going to die"... What's this?
(Toad shows up with a Bible book and a priest hat.)
Toad: We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a dear friend...
Fishy Boopkins: Hey, I'm still alive you know?!
(Car honks and everyone looks behind them. It's a fire truck with Meggy and Saiko in it.)
Meggy: Did someone need saving? THE WOOMY BRIGADE IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!
Mario: Wow! I didn't know you were a firefighter! How'd you get the truck?
Meggy: Wah!? I...uh... Whaddya mean? I've always been a fire-
Saiko: We stole it.
Meggy: Hey! We didn't steal it, we borrowed it!
(Meggy starts stomping on the fire truck and floats down heroically. She then grabs the hose from the fire truck.)
Meggy: Woomy brigade, go!!! (She starts walking towards the well.) Besides, I'm sure they'll forgive us! This is for the greater good!
Saiko: Woo...greater good.
SMG4: What are you even gonna do? feed him water?
Meggy: Just you watch...
(Meggy reaches the well.)
Meggy: Turn on the water!
(Saiko kicks the firetruck while reading a newspaper.)
Meggy: This water will fill up the well... and once it does... Boopkins will float to the top!
Fishy Boopkins: AHH! Hey, that's cold! Uggh.
Luigi: Woah Meggy! You're a genius!
Meggy: Aw shucks, thanks
Saiko: Hey genius, Boopkins died.
Meggy: WHAT?!
(Meggy realizes that she filled up the well.)
Fishy Boopkins: Uh guys, I'm still stuck down here.
Meggy: Huh?!
Fishy Boopkins: Uh I think I ate too many rocks recently. I can't seem to float anymore. Ohhh I should go on a diet.
(Meggy facepalms.)
Mario: Welp, he's doomed.
SMG4:: Well...there's only one option now...
(SMG4 draws a wanted sign for Fishy Boopkins for 2 coins as a reward and walk over to a tree.)
Luigi: Uhh...SMG4. Will that even do anything?
SMG4: Trust me...Anybody would anything for a little bit of-
(SMG4 puts the wanted poster on a tree and a bunch of police cars, cars, and buses come flying down.)
FM54321: The police is here! Go boys go! Lil Boopkins is trapped down the well!
Yoshi: The hell man, that's a so much money!
Wario: Monayyy!
(Everyone rushes to get Boopkins out.)
SMG4: Cash...
FM54321: Stay back everyone! Professionals are retrieving the target!
(Swat officers start to drown and float into the well.)
FM54321: Crap!
(Donkey Kong tramples FM54321 and gets to the well with a rope of bananas.)
Donkey Kong: Go, banana!
(Toadsworth kicks Donkey Kong in the nuts.)
Toadsworth: DIE, BITCH!
(Toadsworth takes out a ladder, but gets crowbarred by a Teletubbie, who then gets oofed by E.Gadd with a jetpack.)
E.Gadd: Suck my dick!
(Yoshi eats him and takes out a shovel.)
Yoshi:: Yoshiiiii!
Swat Officer: FBI! OPEN UP!
(Swat Officer charges into Yoshi. SMG3 is reading a newspaper while singing and preparing a machine until he gets picked up by a crane.)
SMG3: YOU MANIAC!!!
(Wario and Waluigi laugh when Steve punches the crane and it flies away.)
Steve: What is mine? I want the money, I want the money I want the money.
(Steve takes a straw out and starts drinking the water.)
X: I give up, that's it. (He leaves.)
(Chaos starts to happen.)
Jeeves: Well this is quite the pickle.
(Suddenly, Bob comes in with a helicopter.)
Bob: Don't worry! Rescue is here, bitches! Aw titties, how do you drive this? I'm here for you Boopkins!
Fishy Boopkins: Huh? Bob? You came back?
Bob: Of course I did! I'm the kindest boy ever!
(A ladder lowers to the well and kills the riot.)
Bob: Piss off! Make way, bitches!
Fishy Boopkins: (Clings onto the ladder) FREEEDOOOOMMM!!! Woohooo!! (He gets off and jumps into the helicopter.) You saved me, Bob! Thank you so much!
Bob: No problem. Anything for money, bro. You also did save my ass from getting purged.
(Everyone cheers for Bob.)
Bob: Wow, so this is what it feels like to be liked...? If you guys liked this, then check out my SoundCloud pls! I just uploaded my blazing hot mixtape!
(Bob and Boopkins fly away.)
Bob: Come on Boopkins, let's take you home.
Fishy Boopkins: Yippppeeeeee!
(As everyone watches the helicopter fly off, Chris and Swagmaster emerge from behind some bushes.)
Swagmaster69696969696: Chris, look! It's my stolen fire truck!
Chris: You mean the firetruck you stole from the government?
Swagmaster69696969696: Pfft, details. ...Should we tell them that I replaced all the water with vodka?
Chris: Nah, everybody's happy...
(Credits roll.)