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Scene 1: Retro Games[]
SMG4 intro, followed by a black title card showing "Mario Games Be Like...", as a kazoo plays over it.]
Guy: LESGO!
Mario Bros.[]
[In the titular stage, Mario waves to the player.]
Mario: Hello!
[Mario walks across the platform he is on to below the next one above him. He jumps to flip over a turtle on said platform, but instead cracks his head and collapses, unconscious.]
Super Mario Bros.[]
[In a castle level, Bowser is talking to someone on the phone.]
Bowser: YOU LEFT THE AXE HERE!?
[We hear garbling from the other end as the camera pans away from the axe.]
Bowser: I DONT CARE IF YOU THOUGHT IT LOOKED COOL!...
[Beat.]
Bowser: ok now that i think about it, you're right
[Bowser hangs up and turns around, only to see Mario standing next to the axe.]
Bowser: OH SHI-
Super Mario Bros. 2[]
[In the grasslands, Mario is singing as he repeatedly plucks turnips and throws them forward. A dead Shy Guy is right in front of Mario, the turnips sailing over his body.]
Super Mario Bros. 3[]
[Toadette is whimpering in a corner.]
Toadette: No... what is... what are you... what are you doing in my house? What are you?
[Cut to a shadowy figure standing in a doorway. It slowly moves towards Toadette, revealing it is Tanooki Mario.]
Toadette: No, NO, IT'S A FURRY!!!
Super Mario Land[]
[We see an image of 1-1 from the game.]
Mario: Well, this sucks ass.
Super Mario World[]
[We see a shot of Mario riding on Yoshi as they fly through the air using the former's Super Cape. This is in slow motion, with cheerful music playing in the background.]
Mario: Y i p p e e...
[Yoshi is also cheering. However, Mario then jumps off of Yoshi and onto a floating platform. He then walks off to continue the level.]
Mario: That's-a-so nice!
[Yoshi screams as he falls to his doom.]
Mario Teaches Typing[]
[SMG4 screams as he rapidly mashes keys during a course. He is eventually met with the Mario Head over the Elden Ring game over screen.]
Mario Head: Uh-oh! That wasn't as fast as last time. Let's try again, okay?
[SMG4 rages and starts smashing his monitor with the keyboard.]
Mario Paint[]
[Mario is sat on a stool with a paintbrush and paint wheel in hand, in front of a blank canvas. He is wearing a Bob Ross wig.]
Mario: Welcome to Mario paint Today were gonna paint a happy little house
[Mario paints a small black square.]
Mario: First you start off with a square... Then a little triangle on the house
[Mario paints a small pink triangle on top. Cut away as Mario continues painting for a few seconds.]
Mario: And then you add a few more strokes and wallah!
[We then see the canvas - Mario has painted a museum-level art piece off-screen.]
Mario: Ta-da! We're done. Okey dokey, thanks for joining.
Super Mario Kart[]
[Mario is pulled over at the side of the road leading into Mushroom City, with a police car behind him. Two officers walk over to him.]
Mario: Oh, hello, officer!
Police Officer: Hey, you got a license for that?
[Cut to an aerial shot of a Mario Kart-style race as Mario attempts to flee the police.]
Mario Is Missing![]
[We see a montage of various boring shots from the game, unintelligble mumbling in the background. Eventually, we see
Frankie: ...when does it get better?
Mario's Time Machine[]
Mario: Ayo, what the f**k?
Mario's Early Years: Preschool Fun[]
TBA
Hotel Mario[]
TBA
Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars[]
TBA
Super Mario 64[]
TBA
Mario Party 2[]
TBA
Super Smash Bros.[]
TBA
Mario Golf[]
TBA
Paper Mario[]
TBA
Dr. Mario[]
TBA
Scene 2: 2000s Era[]
Luigi's Mansion[]
TBA
Super Smash Bros. Melee[]
TBA
Super Mario Sunshine[]
[Shows a shot of Mario blasting Peach against a wall with F.L.U.D.D.]
Mario Kart: Double Dash!![]
TBA
Mario Pinball Land[]
TBA
Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix[]
TBA
Mario Superstar Baseball[]
TBA
Mario & Luigi: Partners In Time[]
TBA
Super Princess Peach[]
Peach: I'm a girl gamer!
New Super Mario Bros. Wii[]
TBA
Super Smash Bros. Brawl[]
TBA
Super Mario Galaxy[]
[Shows Mario drifting through outer space, dead.]
Mario Strikers Charged[]
[Bowser pushes Mario aside and jumps off the spaceship, diving towards the football field. Mario tries to do the same, but crashes head first.]
Scene 3: Modern Games[]
Mario & Luigi: Dream Team[]
[Mario decides to travel into Luigi's dreams, sawing a hole to let himself in.]
Mario: Hey this isn't so bad... [sees Luigi with Bayonetta's legs] WHAT THE FU-
Super Mario Galaxy 2[]
[Shows Mario drifting through space again, but this time with Yoshi too.]
Mario Kart 8[]
[Along with all brand new courses, we are also introducing anti-gravity driving!]
[Mario is spinning in his kart on the roof of Peach's castle as Bob, Tari, and Meggy watch.]
Bob: God damn it! I'll get a ladder!
Super Mario Maker[]
[Shows an image of 1-1 from Super Mario Bros. game - but for some reason, with a penis built out of ? Blocks midway into the level.]
Swag: Goddamn im a level design master
Super Mario 3D World[]
[Mario watches footage of Cat Toad dancing until he gets triggered enough to tape the game to a rocket and send it to space.]
Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr's Journey[]
Bowser: Something's in my ass!
[Zoom in on Bowser's digestive system, where an X-ray shot shows Mario and Luigi spinning around while T-posing.]
Mario and Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games[]
Mario: Rio? Where the hell is that?
[Mario searches "where is rio" on Google and the computer's background changes to the Brazilian flag.]
Mario: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT
[A Brazilian kicks the door down and pulls Mario away from his room.]
Nintendo Labo[]
[Introducing the Nintendo Labo variety kit! A new experience for Nintendo Switch.]
[Mario sits down with real cardboard in front of him.]
Mario: Seventy f**king dollars?
Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle[]
Mario: My mind's telling me no...
[An image of Rabbid Peach is shown on Mario's computer.]
Mario: But that crack y'all! The crack keeps telling me ye-es! [admires the picture]
Luigi: Mario!
[Mario knocks the computer away in fear and sits there doing nothing.]
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate[]
[Credits roll.]