This page is the transcript for SMG4: Mario Preschool.


SMG4: No no, cut the video. We can't show our usual broadcast today. Youtube is hitting more and more channels with crude humor and swears now and I don't want this to happen to me.

*SMG4 changes the background to a cheery one with a rainbow and a grassland*

SMG4: So we're becoming an educational kids channel now!

*Kermit appears onscreen playing a banjo*

*Baby Luigi pulls out the book The Hungry Caterpillar, but Bob knocks it out of his hands*

Bob: Get that shit out of here!

Luigi: OK class, today we will be learning about shapes!

Babies: Yaaayyy!

*Luigi draws a circle*

Luigi: This is a circle!

*Luigi draws a triangle*

Luigi: This is a triangle!

*Luigi draws a pentagram*

Luigi: And this is a pentagram!

*Painting class begins*

Meggy: Ok little guys, ready to paint?

Fishy: Meggy, what are you doing? That's very dangerous! These are babies!

Meggy: Aww come on Boopkins, it's fine! Don't act like a child.

Fishy: But I am a child!

*Meggy finger paints, clearly bored*

Fishy: I shipped myself with Miku!

Meggy: *her eyes widen with shock* That's a thing people do?

*the shipping police arrive on the scene*

Cop: Stop! I'm going to have to arrest you for crimes against humanity.

Fishy: Oh no! Get Meggy! She writes fanfiction!

Meggy: WAIT WHAT!?

Cop: You son of a bitch!

Meggy: Wait wait wait w-

*Meggy is tackled by the cop*

*Fishy Boopkins attempts to run away, but he discovers that there are a bunch of shipping police officers preventing him from escaping*

Fishy Boopkins: *holding out his finger portrait shipping himself with Miku* Do you guys ship this?

Bowser: Don't go near it!

Babies: WOOO CANDY!!

*the babies hijack Bowser's car*

Bowser: No You Damn kids! Hey! Open up!!

*Baby Mario laughs at Bowser*

*a police officer notices Bowser’s Free candy car. Several police cars proceed to ram into Bowser’s van, believing him to be a pedophile*

Yoshi: Ok kids, You got to thinking about your future.

Yoshi: That's why I'm here to teach you the basic concept of paying taxes...

Yoshi: Now I know it may sound hard...But I'll dumb it down for you guys.

Yoshi: Basically...Don't pay anyone any money and hide from the police. It works every time.

Suddenly, a police officer appears.

Police Officer: STOP RIGHT THERE!

Yoshi: *his eyes widen in fear* OH SHIT!

Police Officer: *shooting at Yoshi* Stop breaking the law asshole!

*Yoshi panics and runs away. He defenestrates himself.*

Yoshi: You'll never take me alive! AAAAAHHH!!!

Baby Toad: When can we go play with toys?

*Steve summons a portal to the Nether*

Steve: Are you ready, kids?!

*Steve takes the babies to the Nether, laughing like Chris Griffin*

*Baby Toad is grabbed by a Ghast*

Baby Toad: AAH!!!!

*Zombie Pigmen surround Baby Mario*

Baby Mario: Would you like to play with me?

*Baby Luigi swims in lava*

*Baby Peach attempts to hit a Wither with her pickaxe*

Mario: Hey kids! Today we will be learning about animals!

SMG4: Um, Mario, where did you get these animals by the way?

Mario: I stole them!

SMG4's eyes widen with shock.

*Mario is run over by several police cars*

Tubbie Boi: Hello kids, I work at the safety branch at Youtube. I'm here to warn you of the dangerous stuff out may find! Remember to call the local police if you see any of these dangerous memers.

*the Cyan Toad realizes that SMG4 is a dangerous memer*


Brave Policeman: *pulls out handcuffs* You're under arrest, nimrod!


*Mario, Luigi, Meggy, Bowser, Fishy Boopkins, Yoshi, and SMG4 are behind bars*

Mario: you too, Huh.

SMG4: What are you guys in for?

Mario: Stealing some animals. :D

Luigi: Demonic rituals.

Bowser: Child kidnappings.

Yoshi: Tax fraud.

Fishy Boopkins: I guess the police didn't like my painting.

Meggy: Don't look at me! I'm here because of him!

SMG4: Welp, I guess running an education channel isn't for us. Back to crappy jokes and bad language.

Bob: Oh suckers! All of you are in jail! Luckily though, I'm a good boy that hasn't committed anything wrong *except for murder*. Anyways, you might as well listen to my new book.

  • All scream and panic except for Bob*
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