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This is a transcript for SMG4: Mario and the Anime Challenge.
Script[]
The scene opens up at the Mushroom Kingdom featuring Mario snoring.
Mario: *Snores* Nighty nighty. *Snores* Ahh, spaghetti.
Tari is shown to be running from Meggy, screaming AAAAAAAH! along the way. The end result is Tari and Mario getting splatted by Meggy’s Splattershot. Mario gets decapitated.
Meggy: C'mon, guys! It's not training if you don't shoot back at me!
Mario: But Mario wants to sleep! Eating spaghetti all day makes you tired!
Tari: Do we have to shoot AT each other? W-wouldn't it be more fun shooting at things in a game instead?
Meggy: I can't Tari. The Splatfest is coming in a month and I have to train!
Mario tries to reattach his head, but it falls off.
Mario: Ah, piss.
Tari: *sighs* Ok, ok. I'll help you, Meggy!
Bob: Hey what's up, bitches?
Tari sceams and shoots Bob with her Splattershot
Bob: Holy fish sticks!
Fishy Boopkins: Ah! Um, hey guys!
Tari: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!
Mario and Meggy: Nice shot!
Meggy: Are you boys here to help me train too!?
Fishy Boopkins: Uhhh no, we're wondering if...
Bob: We're having an anime battle to see who can be the most anime.
Mario and Tari: OOOOOOHHHHH!
Fishy Boopkins: And that's why we want YOU to be the judge, Meggy!
Meggy, who's greatest fear is anime, doesn't comply.
Bob: Sounds like a yes to me.
Meggy: ...sorry guys. We gotta go train!
Tari: Guys, can I be judge!?
Fishy Boopkins: Well, who's gonna be the judge now?
Tari: Ooh, ooh! PICK ME! PICK ME!
Bob: I don't know. Maybe Toadsworth likes anime. (Lights go out.) Huh?
The pair look up onto the Castles' Roof, where Tari strikes a Jojo-ish pose.
Tari: Please let me judge!
Bob: The weeb is strong with this one!
Fishy Boopkins: That's a great idea! You can be our judge, Tari! Let's go!
Mario: Hey! Mario wants to be Naruto too!!! (He passes Meggy.)
Meggy: Guys, wait! What about the Splatfest!?
Mario: Uh, bye!
Mario runs away over the hill, Meggy huffing and crosses her arms in annoyance.
Challenge 1: Who can run like Naruto the fastest?[]
Tari: Alright! Ready? Set! (The race is on!)
Mario: *Laughs*
Bob: Get out of the way, bitches!
Boopkins: I can't run like this! I've got stubby little arms!
Bob: I'm so damn fast, boy! Better watch your ass!
Boopkins: Bob!? What are you doing!?
Bob: Showing off my smexy ninja skills! Super ninja leg-jutsu!
(Bob trips Boopkins and Mario runs past Bob)
Mario: I'm fast as fuck, boy!
Bob: Do you really want to challenge me, Mario?
Mario: [makes hand signals] I don't know about that one chief.
[Three Mario clones appear with Mario]
Bob: Impressive. Now it's my turn. [makes hand signals] I don't know about my butt cheek.
[Four clones that look like Bob from Bob the Builder appear with Bob]
Bob: Oh, Godammit!
Mario: Let's get 'em, fellas.
[The Three Mario clones jump ready to attack the Bobs]
Bob: Well, crap.
[Bob and the Bob clones gets launched to the sky]
Bob: Team Bob is blasting off again!
[Mario crosses the finish line]
Tari: WOW! What an epic battle! Mario wins using a quick witted Shadow Clone Jutsu!
Mario: WHOOOO! Get fucked, bitches!
Challenge 2: Who can do the best anime love confession?[]
Tari: Wait... what are we doing!? (In this challenge, Mario, Bob, and Fishy Boopkins have to confess their love to Tari... anime style!)
Fishy Boopkins: Senpai, it's not like I like you or anything, but I think you're cute! B-Baka! So, what do you think?
Tari: ...yes.
Bob: That's not how you pick up chicks! Let me show you! (Lights go out.) M'lady.
Tari: Uh... hi, Bob...
Bob: In this moment, I am euphoric not because of any phony God's blessing but because I am enlightened by my intelligence.
Tari: What.
Bob: What I'm saying m'lady... I can be your angle or your devil.
(The black background breaks the fourth wall.)
Tari: Alright, guys, this challenge is making me uncomfortable- (turns around and sees Mario)
Mario: I love you!
Tari: Oh, thank God. Something normal for once...
Mario: And to really show you my feelings, I got you a present! I kidnapped Hideo Kojima! I know how much you like gaming crap!
Tari: (facepalms) No one wins...
Challenge 3: Who can scream like Goku the best?[]
(Mario, Bob, and Fishy Boopkins face each other. They all scream. A Goomba mother passes by with her two children and stares at Tari.)
Tari: I don't know these people...
Goomba mother: Don't look, children!
(Boopkins turns blue and passes out. Tari makes an X with her arms, signaling Boopkins lost the challenge. Meanwhile, Mario and Bob start floating, but Mario's head explodes. Tari makes another X with her arms, signaling Mario lost the challenge. Bob, however, gains spiky hair.)
Bob: Hell, yeah, bitches!
Tari: B-Bob... wins...
Bob: Suck my nuts! I am all-powerful! No one can defeat me! (Shaggy, who happened to be in the area, turns his head towards Bob.) Just kidding!
Challenge 4: Who can speak the best Japanese?[]
(At a restaurant...)
Bob: I speak the best Japanese. Watch this!
Saiko is standing next to their table, looking annoyed.
Saiko: Apparently, I have to be here for this segment. What do you want?
Bob: WATASHI WAH BOB-U DESU ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! (Gets slapped by Saiko.) She digs me!
Mario: Oooo... let Mario try! (Turns to Saiko.) (While giving Saiko two middle fingers.) KONICHIWA, 420 BLAZE IT- (Gets smashed by Saiko's hammer.)
Fishy Boopkins: You guys, that's not how you do it! (Walks up to Saiko.) *Asks Saiko how her day was while speaking perfect Japanese, surprising Saiko, Mario, Bob, Tari, and Hideo Kojima himself.*
Saiko: Why, my day has been good! Thanks for asking!
Tari: Wow... Boopkins wins!
Fishy Boopkins: Arigato, Tari-chan.
Challenge 5: Who can win an anime argument?[]
(At a table, Fishy Boopkins, wearing glasses, faces Tari.)
Fishy Boopkins: You must understand why I must win, Tari.
Tari: Err... why?
Fishy Boopkins: Because I truly am one with the weebs! (Laughs) (OBJECTION!) NANI?!
Bob: Not if I can help it, bitch! Tsk, tsk, Boopkins! Tari-chan knows it is I, Bob, who can win any anime argument!
Fishy Boopkins: Ha-ha! Your anime knowledge is far less superior than mine!
Bob: Oh, yeah? Well, I summon my trap card! It counters any argument, bitch!
Fishy Boopkins: No! It can't be!
Bob: *Naga laugh*
Fishy Boopkins: I bet you can't summarize every One Piece episode!
Bob: Try me, bitch!
Bob/Fishy Boopkins: There's a lanky-ass pirate that eats a pineapple or something, and-/The series focuses on Monkey D. Luffy, a young man, who, inspired by his childhood idol-
(Tari turns to Mario, who's just sitting there cross-eyed.)
Mario: Pingas.
Tari: You know what, I think you win this one Mario.
Mario: Ho! I did it! I did it!
Final Challenge: Who would win in an anime battle?[]
(Mario, Bob, and Fishy Boopkins face each other in a last man standing duel.)
Bob: (Laughs) (In Japanese) I'll kick your ass.
Mario: I don't speak Japanese. (Charges at Bob.) SUPER MARIO-
Bob: (Dodges Mario) Yeet!
Mario: Oh, no!
Bob: Not good enough, asshole!
Fishy Boopkins: (Thinking) Now's my chance! (Charges at Bob) (Speaking) Ultra Shadow Kenkai Buster Technique! (Bob vanishes.) Huh? Where'd he go? Wha- (Bob appears behind Boopkins.)
Bob: Nothing personal, kid. (Spins with his swords out and attacks Boopkins, only to find a Pokémon toy replacing Boopkins.) Huh? NANI (WHAT) THE FUCK?!
Fishy Boopkins: AAAAAAAAH! (Flies at Bob and kicks him in the face, sending Bob flying into a nearby mushroom.) Ha-ha! Take that! (Mario is behind Boopkins, gaining power.) Huh?
Mario: Time to die. Here we go! (Charges at Boopkins.)
Fishy Boopkins: (Thinking) Ah! He's too fast!
Mario: ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! (Throws fireballs at Boopkins, sending him flying into the same mushroom. He lands near Tari [who's wearing a helmet], defeated.)
Tari: Nice efforts! Woo...
Mario: It's-a me, God of Death!
Bob: Looks like I'll have to use 2% of my power! Time to end this!
Mario: Oh, what are you gonna do now, big boy?
Bob: KAAAAAAAA...
Mario: Wah!
Bob: ...MEEEEEEEE...
Tari: BOB! STOP! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!
Bob: ...HAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEE...
Mario: Run, bitch! RUN!
Bob: HAAAAAA! (Fires a beam of energy, hitting Mario, a Lakitu, a house, and the castle, destroying it! Peach walks out of the castle, singing. She turns around... and sees what happened. She turns and glares at Tari, Fishy Boopkins, Bob, and Mario, who's on fire.) Um... Goku did it.
(End video)