Episode Information · Gallery · Transcript
| Blooper Information · Gallery · Transcript |
This page is the transcript for SMG4: Mario and the Bob Mansion....
Black Friday Sale and New Christmas Merch[]
Luke: Hey guys just a special announcement before we start the video.
Kevin: We are having a 15% off sale on all limited edition SMG4 merchandise this Thanksgiving and Black Friday.
Luke: It's also the last chance to get the Tari merch now at shop.SMG4.com.
(Kevin hits Luke on the chest.)
Kevin: OW! Finally a word from Bob.
Bob: Thanks Asian SMG4 and brother of Asian SMG4. Man, I got a spicy announcement for you sexy fans. We're officially releasing the limited-edition Bob Merch for this holiday season.
(Bob dresses up as Santa and pulls up a Bob limited-edition Christmas shirt.)
Bob: It will only be in stores up until Christmas, so get it before they're gone.
Fishy Boopkins: Uh... Bob, it's November. It's not Christmas yet.
Bob: ...Crap. Whatever. Get this Christmas badge of that green turd as well.
(Bob pulls a Fishy Boopkins limited-edition badge.)
Fishy Boopkins: Hey that's not nice! My badge is really cool. I'm wearing the Christmas hat! Look how cute I am!
(Scene cuts back to Luke and Kevin.)
Luke: Thanks Bob and Boopkins!
Kevin: You can head on over to shop.SMG4.com to check out the merch right now this holiday season.
Luke: And the matter of badges we have are growing, so start your collection now.
(Bob appears in the scene.)
Bob: Now on to the spicy video all about meeeee.
Scene 1[]
(Glitch Productions and SMG4 intros.)
(Everyone is looking at a Bob statue.)
Bob Yo yo what's up my homies. Thanks for coming over to my pad for the first-ever celebration of Bobsgiving!
Bowser: You mean Thanksgiving...?
Bob: No, I mean Bobsgiving. Anyways as you can tell, this mansion of mine is very sexy. Filled with the most Mozart paintings and art.
Tari: Ooh....Impressive!
(Bob comes up to Meggy.)
Bob: May I interest you in a super-rare ultimate DLC Bob painting? Photoshopped by yours truly. It is a masterpiece.
(Saiko is writing notes down.)
Saiko: Wow, Bob knows how to be noticed! I got to take notes...
SMG4: Don't you live in garbage dump? How'd you afford this place?
Bob: Oh, that's easy. My SoundCloud rap career really hit off last week. Look at them followers.
Fishy Boopkins: Yaaay! Congrats, Bob!
(Mario kicks Fishy Boopkins.)
Mario: Can we eat now? Where's the turkey?
Bob: Oh yeah. Follow me to the dining room.
Scene 2[]
Bob: It is time to commence the Bobsgiving feast. Thanks for joining me.
Mario: IS...IS THAT A TURKEY!?
Bob: You betcha it is.
(Bob removes the lid to reveal a living, featherless turkey.)
Bob: Mmm... delicious.
Bowser: Bob...you're meant to cook it first...
Bob: Huh? Oh yeah. Guess I forgot.
(Bob brings out a shotgun.)
Bob: Just give me a sec while I take care of that.
(Bowser then swipes the turkey away.)
Bowser: Uhh, you know what Bob, how about I take care of this.
Bob: Oh, uhh, sure... Do you want the shot--
Bowser: No bob, it's fine.
Bob: And Meggy, can you go help Bowser cook, please? That'd be helpful.
Meggy: umm...err... Can I!? Cooking is my specialty!
(Meggy follows Bowser to the kitchen.)
Bob: Oh yeah, that reminds me. We also need some special beverages for this occasion. Can you three go get my secret Bob juice, please?
Saiko: Yeah sure, this was boring me anyway...
Fishy Boopkins: Oh sure. Where is it, Bob?
Bob: Just go upstairs and turn right. It's in my special room. You can't miss it.
Mario: Oooo maybe he'll have food up there too!
Saiko: Hey don't run off like that idiot!
Fishy Boopkins: Ohhh... We're gonna get lost so easily.
(The three head upstairs leaving Bob, SMG4, and Tari alone. Silence fills the air.)
Bob: So... huh, do you guys want to hear the story of Bobsgiving?
Tari: (Giggles) Okay.
SMG4: Ehh...Not reall--
Bob: A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago...
(Flashback to pilgrims looking like Mario and Luigi sailing in a rowboat.)
Bob: Some pilgrims came on boat to what we now know as The Mushroom Kingdom, but they sucked at being alive. But they were saved by the glorious Bob Tribe, my ancestors. And so everyone thanked and loved and worshiped the Bob Tribe for being so awesome and sexy and so they made a day called Bobsgiving to worship them.
Tari: Wow, that's so cool and educational!
SMG4: Uhh...I'm pretty sure that's not how Thanksgiving went...
Bob: What do you know? Were you there?
Tari: But if the pilgrims worshiped the Bob Tribe...why are none of the presidents in Mushroom Kingdom history from the Bob Tribe?
Bob: Hey...uh...want to hear the story of Bobmas?
Tari: Woohoo! You know it!
SMG4: NO GOD, PLEASE NO! NOOOOOOOOO!
Bob: Well it all started 2,000 years ago in the North Pole...
Scene 3[]
(Bowser and Meggy are in the kitchen.)
Meggy: Uhh...so I have a confession to make...
Bowser: Oh, and what's that?
Meggy: I'm...not a very good cook...
Bowser: Nonsense, anyone can cook! (Brings out a pre-cooked turkey) Besides, I brought a turkey already prepared!
Meggy: Oooh!
Bowser: Think you can paint it in cooking oil for me?
Meggy: Did you just say... Paint
Bowser: Uh...yeah? Why?...
(Meggy then goes wild and starts painting everything.)
Meggy: Ta-da!
(Meggy is about to put a turkey in the oven.)
Meggy: Now I just chuck it in the oven right?
Bowser: WAIT! NOOO! THERE'S TOO MUCH OIL!!!
(Meggy puts the turkey in the oven and sets it.)
Meggy: This cooking thing sure is easy!
(The oven sets on fire.)
Scene 4[]
(Mario, Boopkins, and Saiko are walking.)
Fishy Boopkins: So uhhh... Saiko... How you've been?
Saiko: Huh? Yeah. Fine.
Fishy Boopkins: Uhhh… you seem to have made friends with the other girls. (Chuckles nervously)
Saiko: ...They're OK.
Fishy Boopkins: That's good. Uh... are we still friends?
Mario: Whoa! Look at this! My Italian senses are tingling. This is it...
Fishy Boopkins: Ohhh, guys, it's a bit dark in here. (the door shuts suddenly, scaring Boopkins)
Mario: Ohhh mama-mia, I can't see ass in here! OH! I FOUND THE LIGHT SWITCH!
(Mario turns on the lights, revealing the room with Bob all over the walls.)
Saiko: This is going to haunt me for weeks.
Fishy Boopkins: Aah guys, I'm scared! Is this some sort of demonic chamber?
Mario: Nope, this is just his bedroom.
(Mario found Bob's special juice.)
Mario: This must be it!
Fishy Boopkins: Yahoo! Well that was easy! I was sure we were gonna come across an obstacle of some sort and consequently go on a crazy adventure.
Saiko: Well I'm glad we didn't. Time to get back! Being in this room is bad for my health.
(Saiko tries to open the door, but she finds out the door is locked shut. She turns around and starts to look worried.)
Scene 5[]
(Bob, dressed as Santa- uh, Bob Claus, is finishing his story on Bobmas with Tari in amazement.)
Bob: And if you're a good boy and girl, Bob Claus will visit you at night and give you a present.
Tari: (Moved to tears) That's... that's so beautiful! Do you think Bob Claus will get me a new duck for Christmas?
Bob: Only if you haven't been naughty. And if you praised Bob enough...
SMG4: (Screams in rage) I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS $#@%! NONE OF THIS IS REAL, TARI!
Bob: Wow. How could you say that? Only coal for you this Bobmas.
SMG4: WHATEVER! IM GONNA GO CHECK THE COOKING! (Rage screams as he runs to the kitchen)
Tari: If i'm super well behaved, can I get some games too?
SMG4: Hey guys need any hel- JESUS CHRIST!
(Bowser and Meggy are in a panic.)
Bowser: Ah The meatloaf!
Meggy: It wasn't me, I swear!
(SMG4 crashes through the dining room door.)
SMG4: BOB! WHERE ARE YOUR FIRE EXTINGUISHERS!?
Bob: lol Safety is for losers.
(Bowser finds a fire extinguisher.)
Bowser: AHA! WE'RE SAFE!!! TIME TO DIE, FIRE!!!
(Bowser turns on the fire extinguisher and gets flamethrowered in the face)
Bob: Oh yeah! We have flamethrowers that look like fire extinguishers. Does that count?
Bowser: I'M ON FIRE! AUGHHH, JESUS CHRIST!
Tari: AHHH! BOWSER!
(Bob is emotionlessly sitting while the burning Bowser running around.)
Bob: This is fine.
Scene 6[]
(Saiko is trying to knock down the door with her body.)
Mario: INCOMIIIIIIIIINGGGG!!!
Fishy Boopkins: AAAAAAAH!
(Mario and Boopkins crash into the door, which remains intact.)
Mario: Ohhh... My spaghetti noodles.
Fishy Boopkins: Aww man. We're stuck here forever.
Mario: NOOO! MARIOS GONNA MISS THE FOOD!
(Saiko begins drinking Bob's special juice.)
Saiko: So this is where I die, huh?
(Suddenly, Saiko's eyes widen open.)
Fishy Boopkins: Huh? What is it, Saiko?
Saiko: This "juice" is just gasoline!
(Saiko throws Bob's special juice to the ground.)
Scene 7[]
(Meanwhile, Tari tries to use bottled water to put out the fire.)
Tari: Meggy, didn't you steal a firetruck? That would come in handy right now.
Meggy: I didn't steal it, I borrowed it! also the woomy brigade is on hiatus till we can legally own a firetruck...
(SMG4 tries to put out a fire off Bowser.)
SMG4: BOB! I COULD USE SOME HELP HERE!
Bob: I'm okay with the event that are unfolding currently.
Tari: Uh...guys? The ceiling has caught fire...
(Upstairs...)
Fishy Boopkins: (Sniffing) Hey... Did you guys smell something burning?
Mario: Ooh...the ground is getting spicy too. Is there a fire?
Saiko: Fire?! OH NO! THE GASOLINE!
(Back downstairs...)
Bob: Everything's fine.
(Bob's entire mansion collapses as Bowser, Tari, Fishy Boopkins and Meggy, as Mario falls down to the ground.)
Saiko: (Coughing) God dammit Bob..
Bob: My home! You guys destroyed my home! ...Oh hey, look! The turkey is cooked! Well... What are you waiting for? Dig in!
Fishy Boopkins: Huh? You're...you're not mad at us for destroying your house?
Bob: Don't worry. I can buy another house with my cash monies. But... I can't buy cool friends to celebrate Bobsgiving with like you guys. This will also make a great sob story for MTV. Yeah boy! Ha ha. Just joking lol. Crap.
Scene 8[]
(Everyone is enjoying their turkeys.)
Fishy Boopkins: La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Saiko: And to answer you before boopkins... Yeah, we're still friends.
Fishy Boopkins: Hoorayyyyyy!
Bob: Happy Bobsgiving, everyone! Remember to stay sexy and praise Bob.
(Bob brings out the limited edition "Bob Christmas" t-shirt.)
Bob: Oh, and buy the limited edition Bob shirt. Only for the sexiest people out there. See you next time!
(Credits roll... Until the screen starts glitching out. A pair of arms holding a control begins playing something. The mysterious player brings up a keyboard above their arm, types something on it, and resumes playing.)
5th December 2018
(Credits roll for real now.)