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This transcript is for SMG4: Mario goes to the Dentist...
Transcript[]
(Glitch Productions intro)
Tari: "Woo-hoo!"
(at the Dentist's office, in the Waiting Room)
Mario: *sits down* "Hmm..."
(Mario reminisces about why he is at the Dentist's)
Mario: "OOOOH!"
Luigi: "MARIO! DO NOT EAT THAT!" (Luigi referring to the spaghetti covered in debris)
Mario: "OOOOH- Huh? HOW 'BOUT NO!?"
(Back at the Dentist's office)
Mario: *opens mouth revealing debris* "Ma-ma-mia..."
Dentist: HELLO, FRIENDS!
Koopa: "OH BOY! Yipee!"
Mario: *stares at clock* "Ohh..."
Bandana Waddle-Dee: *watches TikTok videos*
Mario: "Gee, it sure is boring around here- hmm?"
(Skull Kid plays with their toys)
Toy Mr. Potato Head: *underwater* "Hello. How are you? I'm am under the water. Please help me..."
Toy Buzz Lightyear: "I'll save you!"
Plush Mario: *Mario pushes Plush Mario over to Bird-Like Patient* "Go suck a d*ck and a banana."
Skull Kid: "AHHHHHHH!"
Dentist: *doorbell rings, and comes out of the operation room* "OK Mario! I will be seeing you now!"
Mario: "Finally!"
Skull Kid: "Why are we still here?"
Mario: *runs to operation room* "I can't feel my p*ngas.
(camera turns to reveal Tari and Saiko)
Saiko: *struggles to get Tari into the waiting room*
Tari: "S-Saiko please! Please don't do this! I have so many things to live for!"
Saiko: "Ugh, don't be dramatic. It's just a regular check-up!"
Tari: *hugs Saiko's head*
Saiko: *sighs and drops Tari on the sofa*
Tari: "OH NO!"
Monty Mole: *looks at magazine* "Wow! That's REALLY interesting!"
Yoshi Baby: "I sh*t in my pants. OOH!"
Tari: *runs for the exit* "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
Saiko: *grabs Tari* "Oh no you don't."
Saiko: "I promised you that you'd get your teeth checked, and that's exactly what we're going to do."
Tari: "BUT SAIIKKOOOOOO!! I've never been here before! What if it hurts!?" I'll-I'll cry, you wouldn't want that, would you???"
Saiko: "Yes, I would."
Tari: "Fine."
(camera cuts to Mario (naked) dancing on the floor of the Operation Room)
Mario: "Movin' on the ground! Movin' on the ground!"
Dentist: "Sir, please. We need to start the appointment! Can you at least grab a seat-"
Mario: *hurls chair at dentist* "SCA-HAHAHAHAHA!"
Dentist: *disfigured, the dentist rises up and pulls out a gun* "SAY AHHHHHHH!"
Mario: *freaks out* "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
(camera cuts to Tari hearing Mario scream)
Tari: *runs for the window* "Nope-no-no-no-no-nooope! So much nope!"
Saiko: *blocks window* "Oh come on Tari. Mario's just probably over-exaggerating. I bet you the dentist hasn't even started yet."
(camera cuts back to the Operation Room)
Mario *held at gunpoint by dentist* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Mario: *kicks dentist in the nuts*
Dentist: "That's hot!"
Mario: "AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
Dentist: *turns to face Mario* "I'm-going-to-SAW-through-your-D****CK!"
Mario: "WHAAAAA!" *throws syringes and knife at dentist* "TAKE THAT! AND THIS! AND THAT!"
Dentist: *plays Wii startup noise and runs for Mario*
Mario: "WHOOAA!" *jumps away, and lands in a pile of explosive tanks*
Dentist: *about to saw through Mario* "WELCOME TO THE RICE FIELDS, MOTHER-F*CKER!"
Mario: "OH NO!" Protects himself via explosive tank"
Dentist: *saws through the tank...*
(the camera cuts to Tari, as the Operation Room explodes)
Tari: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *grabs Goomba, Boo, and Almighty Loaf, and barricades the operation room, then runs out the wall*
Saiko: "Looks like I have to pull out the big guns." *pulls out a rubber ducky*
Tari: *instantly comes to the ducky* "Ooh!" *continuously stares at the ducky*
Saiko: *throws ducky to the sofa*
Tari: *follows the ducky and comes up close*
(camera cuts to Mario staring at a flaming dentist)
Mario: "Oh no!" *comes up with an idea* "I got it!*"
Mario: *blasts through barricade*
Tari and Saiko: *runs to the Operation Room*
Dr. Mario: *wearing a dentist outfit* "Hello! I am uhh... the Dentist... guy for today."
Saiko: *gasps*
Tari: Oh! It's Mario!"
Saiko: "Nope. Nevermind. We're going home. No way in h*ll I'm trusting you with that idiot!"
Tari: Oh come on Saiko! I feel a lot safer now that Mario's here."
Dr. Mario: "My parents won't let me use scissors."
Saiko: "ARE YOU MAD!?"
*the Operation Room doors close*
Saiko: *tries to open the locked operation room* "OI!!! LET ME IN!!!"
(Swag and Chris come in, Chris carrying Swag in a hand-truck)
Swag: "CHRIS PLEASE. YOU CAN'T DO THIS!! I'M TOO YOUNG AND SEXY TO DIE."
Chris: "Ugh, shut up Swag. It's been 4 years since you last visited the dentist."
Swag: "Why Chris, why? The dentist is not very poggies, Chris."
Chris: "Because as much as I hate you Swag, I care about your dental hygeine."
Swag: "... Why are you gay?"
(Cuts to Tari and Mario in the Operation Room)
Tari: "I never knew you were a dentist, Mario!"
Dr. "Mario: ME NEITHER!"
Tari: "Huh?"
Dr. Mario: "Let's begin! Now let's see what the problem is."
Tari: *reluctantly opens mouth*
Dr. Mario: "Oooh. Huh, your teeth seem fine?"
*Xenomorph pops out of Tari's mouth!*
Dr. Mario: Hmm?" *Xenomorph grabs/shakes Mario* "AH-HA-HAHA-HA-AAAAAH! WHAAOOOAAH!"
Tari: "How bad is it, Mario?"
Dr. Mario: "Don't worry Tari, I got this!" *pulls out vacumm*
Alien: *grabs vacumm*
Dr. Mario: "GET IN THERE, YOU B*TCH! GET IN THERE- Whoah!" *Xenomorph flies out of the vacumm"
Xenomorph: "They say I run faster than light itself" *runs off*
(cuts to waiting room)
Xenomorph: *snatches Baby Yoshi, causing it to scream* "He's mine now, John!*
Swag: "Hey Chris, did you hear something?"
(cuts back to Operation Room)
Dr. Mario: "Don't worry Tari." *pulls out crowbar* "Almost done!"
Tari: *Internal Screaming*
Dr. Mario: *grabs a hammer, drill, cruciform, and old man* "Hammer, p*ngas, salami, *ss"
Tari: *teeth shine* "Wow! You're pretty good at this Mario! Great work!"
Dr. Mario: "I-I can't believe that worked!"
Tari: *teeth explode* "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
(cuts to Waiting Room)
Swag: *hears Tari screeching* "Oh God! They are torturing her!!" *breaks out of the chains*
Chris: "NO SWAG STOP!"
Swag: "I'LL SAVE YOU M'LADY!" *punches through Operation Room door*
Dr. Mario: "Get the f*ck out of my room, I'm playing- OOF!"
Swag: "SCREW THIS TORTURE CELL TARI! WE'RE GOING TO MEXICO! YOLOOOO!" *jumps out a window*
*Chris and Saiko enter the Operation Room*
Saiko: "STOP THEM!" Tari ain't going anywhere 'till we see a proper dentist!"
*Swag hijacks a taxi and makes their escape*
Toadsworth: "Hello youngins. Where would you like to go on this lovely-"
Swag: *hurls Toadsworth into the Operation Room*
Waluigi: *grabs a knife that Toadsworth knocked over* "Oh thanks man." *slices apple*
(cuts to the taxi)
Swag: "Don't worry Tari. We'll start a new life. A life without dentists." *puts sombrero on both Tari and himself* "You can be Jorje. And I will be Jesus. And together we will live life free of any dentist."
Tari: "Free of any dentist!? That sounds like a dream!!!"
*Saiko, Mario, and Chris honk at the taxi in their own car*
Saiko: "GIVE TARI BACK SWAG! SHE'S GOING TO THE DENTIST!"
Tari: "I'm sorry everyone, but I'm not going to the dentist!"
*the two cars race through the city and into the country, while the blue car hits some people*
Tari: "Oh my God! I hope they're OK!!!"
Swag: *mistakes Tari for thinking that she's referring to the taxi* "Yeah the car's fine. Only a little bit of scratches.
*the gang encounters a random Koopa on a wheelchair*
Mario: "Don't worry! Mario will stop them!" *hurls Koopa at the blue car, but misses* "Well, I've done all I can do..." *sleeps*
Chris: "Swag you horrible influence. Stop the car now!"
Swag: "Bad influence? The audacity. Here Tari take this glock and start shooting at them.
Tari: "No! I can't shoot at my friends."
Swag: "Don't worry, it's not real bullets. It's just gum!"
Tari: "Oooh! This is gonna be fun!" *shoots at the blue car*
Swag and Saiko: "AHH!"
*the blue car crashes into a tree and explodes*
Tari: *realizes Swag lied* "I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS SHOT GUM!?"
Swag: "Did I say gum? I meant...gun."
Tari: "I'M SORRY SAIKO!!!"
Swag: *drives off* "Don't worry Tari. We won't be needing her where we're going."
Donald Trump: "We need to build a wall." *taxi crashes into him*
Swag: "I hope you like tacos"
(in Mexico)
*everyone is selling tacos, and there are a lot of chickens*
Swag: *sits on a box and speaks Spanish* "Hola Tari. ¿Cómo estás disfrutando de nuestra nueva vida?" (the Spanish is "How are you enjoying our new life?")
Tari: "...what?"
Swag: "Come one Tari, we've been living here for 5 years now!-"
Tari: "It's only been a few hours-"
Swag: "SHUSH! We are Mexicana now."
Tari: "OK, well, how long do you think we'll be here? I've got to go home for dinner soon"
Swag: "What? No! Didn't you hear what I've been saying? This is our new life now! C'mon, learn Spanish with me."
Swag: *holds chicken at Tari* "Esto es un pollo."
Tari: "..what?"
Swag: "Esto. Es. Un. Pollo."
Tari: "I-"
Swag: "Pollo."
Tari: "You-"
Swag: "POLLO."
Tari: "Pollo?"
Swag: *lifts Tari up* "That's it Tari! You did it! YOU'RE MEXICAN!
*helicopter honks at Swag and Tari*
Swag: "AH MIERDE!" *points at Tari* "IT WAS ALL HER. SHE MADE ME DO IT." *runs off*
Saiko: *pilots helicopter*
Chris: "Swag. You and Tari are going to the dentist RIGHT NOW."
Swag: "No way! The dentist's back home can suck it! I don't trust them!"
Tari: "Yeah! We don't trust them!"
Chris: *briefly pauses* "OK Swag. What if we said we had a Mexican dentist?"
(a promo for the Dr. Amigo Family Clinic plays, edited to include Swag and Tari, with a doctor dressed up as Mario.)
Swag: "Holy crap. I have boobies now!" (referring to the fact that he was edited in over a girl)
Swag: *sees a long syringe* "Hey that looks like my d*ck LOL."
Tari: *cries*
Swag: "I have aids, don't I?"
Tari: *cries more*
The scene ends with Chris, Saiko, and Mario making thumbs ups.
(Video ends.)