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"I LIKE YOUR MOXIE, KID!"
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This is the transcript for SMG4: SMG3's Browser History.
Scene 1[]
(Mario is sitting on the sofa, watching a movie.)
Narrator: He must save his people from destruction.
(The movie in question is a guy making monkey sounds while leaving a Walmart. This moves Mario to tears as he applauds. Suddenly, SMG4 enters.)
SMG4: MARIO! (He runs over and grabs Mario.) MARIO!!!
Mario: I SWEAR SOMEONE TOLD ME TO PUT MY RAVIOLI IN THERE!
SMG4: MARIO, I'VE GOTTA SHOW YOU- What?
Mario: What?
SMG4: What did you say!?
Mario: I didn't say anything!
SMG4: ...Anyway. (He throws Mario into his room.)
Scene 2[]
(SMG3 seems to be enjoying something on SMG4’s computer. Mario gets thrown in his room and notices SMG3 on SMG4's computer. He tries to see what he’s looking at while SMG3 looks at him with a nervous look.)
SMG3: Mario! What brings you in here?
SMG4: SMG3… What are you doing in my office?
SMG3: Oh… Uhh… NOTHING! Was just uhm… TRYING TO STEAL YOUR VIDEOS! (nervous little chuckle) Yeah! That’s something I used to do!
SMG4: Well… anyway! (He pushes SMG3 off the chair.) Mario you’ve got to see this! It's the funniest meme I’ve ever seen!
(Mario looks over to the screen to see the memes, but nothing is there, and SMG4 freezes.)
Mario: SMG4… Where’s the memios?
SMG4: Crap… I don’t remember the website. Uh… Lemme just search my history!
(SMG3 overhears this and looks over to see SMG4 about to click the browser history. He tries to think quickly while panicking.)
SMG3: AHH!!! A SPIDER!
SMG3 grabs Beeg SMG4 and uses it to “kill the spider." SMG4’s monitor starts coughing, and SMG3 pulls a Thomas Thermonuclear Bomb card on the monitor, which causes an explosion. The monitor falls into broken pieces, but SMG3 pours gasoline on it and sets it on fire. He sighs of relief, while SMG4 and Mario are shocked about this.
SMG4: DUDE WHAT THE HELL!?
SMG3: It was uhh… It was a spider!
Mario: Did you kill it?
SMG4: Ugh, I’ll get my laptop! My history is saved to my account! So I should just be able to login and view it!
(SMG3 gasps)
SMG3: Wait! SMG4, I’ve got something to tell you!
SMG4: …what?
SMG3: I’m… pregnant
(SMG4 looks at him in a confused face while Mario is shocked and goes over to SMG4)
Mario: Naughty! Naughty! (Gets hit by SMG4)
(SMG4 walks over to his laptop.)
SMG3: SMG4 WAIT! I’M GONNA DO SOME EVIL S#%T! LOOK! (He calls Mario using his hands, and Mario answers.)
Mario: Hello Sir
SMG3: Hello, Mario? I unplugged the fridge and spoiled all your spaghetti
(This causes Mario to be depressed.)
SMG4: SMG3, if I didn’t know any better… you don’t want me looking at my browser history
SMG3: W-WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
SMG4 and Mario look at SMG3 in a ‘The Rock’ way. They all look at the laptop and start fighting over it. Eventually, SMG3 gets the laptop and summons a green roll with three Ugandan Knuckles ready to fight SMG4 and Mario until they bring out a flamethrower and burn all three of them. While SMG3 tries to run away from them, he gets caught up by them.
Mario: YOU HAVE LOST PINGAS PRIVILEGES
(This scares SMG3, causing him to drop the laptop.)
Mario: THE LAPTOP! QUICKLY!
(SMG4 grabs the laptop, only to find out it was a decoy laptop.)
SMG4: AHHH! It’s a decoy laptop!
(He throws the laptop towards Mario, which bites his pingas. SMG3, who is still running away from them. He runs into the gaming room, where SMG4 and Mario chase him, only to see Saiko practicing her guitar.)
Mario: Saiko! Did you see where SMG3 went?
Saiko: What the hell are you talking about? (She plays her guitar, but the sounds of the guitar aren’t right; she looks down to see SMG3 head as her guitar.)
SMG3: Ummm….. (starts singing but gets thrown across the castle hallways)
(It then shows Tari crossing five ducks before being knocked over by SMG3. SMG3 takes off, followed by SMG4 and Mario.)
Mario: Hey! Come back here!
(Karen is driving home from work when, all of a sudden, SMG3 jumps on top of her car.)
SMG3: GIMME THE CAR! OR YOU’RE DEAD!!
Karen: I’ll take both (jumps out of the car and rolls on the street).
SMG3: (pauses for a second) Damn, bro… (jumps in the car)
Mario: Stop right there!
SMG3: (laughs) EPIC GETAWAY TIME!! (Set the speed to max.)
(SMG3 turns on music but gets jazz music instead.)
SMG3: Goddammit, this isn’t getaway music...
SMG4: HE’S GETTING AWAY!!
(Mario sees JubJub cleaning a racing car but is actually looking at Wheeler wheeling; he then kicks him, gets on, and presses the nitro button to go faster. SMG4 and Mario catch up to SMG3, but he notices it. He drives into a Corn on the Bone, but the airport door closes.)
SMG4: Hah! There’s no way he’s getting in there!
Beside the door, there’s a ramp. SMG3 eats corn, drives to it, and makes it to the plane.
SMG4: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
(Mario sees Eggdog drinking apple juice, and then he gets an idea. SMG3 enjoys himself on top of the plane.)
SMG3: Now, my secrets are safe… Huh?
(SMG3 notices that Eggdog is calling him on Discord, which he answers.)
SMG3: Hello, my little Eggdo- AH!
(He sees what looks like SMG4 holding Eggdog while Mario pretends to hump on it, which causes SMG3 to set on fire, scream, and slide onto a windshield.)
Old man: I’ll park the car and wipe it off!!
(The plane goes down. Tari is done. Duck Crossing: All of a sudden, the plane crashes in the water. She sighs in relief but gets crushed by a car. SMG3 falls to the ground, where SMG4 and Mario catch him.)
(It now shows SMG3 is in a cage, terrif.ied)
SMG4: HAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW, IT’S FINALLY TIME!
Mario: Yeah boy
(SMG4 and Mario click the History tab, and SMG3 looks away to not see what’s going to happen. SMG4 and Mario look closer to the screen and press the Browser History tab.)
SMG4: Oh, What’s this?- (glitches while screaming)
Mario: What? I don’t get i- (screams out of existence)
(Meggy comes in.)
Meggy: Hey guys! What’s all the noise about- (She looks at the browser history and glitches while screaming.)
Luigi: Hey, that’s pretty good (He goes to the bathroom and vacuums himself.)
(SMG3 cries and leaves the castle.)
(The next day, SMG4, Mario, and Meggy are all revived by the Medic)
Medic: CLEAR! (He succeeds)
SMG4: Ughh my head SMG3…bro… that was uh… that was something (He finds out that SMG3 is gone.)
Mario: (He wakes up) DUDE WHAT'S-A WRONG WITH YOU???? (He also finds out SMG3 is gone.)
(It has been shown that SMG3 had left the castle.)
SMG4: where’d he go?
Scene 3[]
(It cuts to SMG3 entering Men in Black Headquarters; he knocks on the door, and someone answers.)
Swagmaster696969696969: wot
SMG3: I’d… I’d like to join the cause
Swagmaster696969696969: Why should we accept you?
SMG3: Because… I’ve lost everything.
(Swag opens the door.)
Chris Gordman: Welcome! To MEN IN BLACK headquarters!
(SMG3 walks in.)
Swagmaster696969696969: Follow me
(Swag and Chris walk while SMG3 follows them.)
Swagmaster696969696969: Here at M.I.B our main goal is to defend Earth
(They show SMG3 aliens inside chambers; even Depresso trapped inside one.)
Depresso: I’M NOT AN ALIEN!!!
Swagmaster696969696969: against alien… threats
(Swag walks away, SMG3 notices a Mind Wiper, and he follows him with a maniacal laugh.)
Chris Gordman: We’re currently at war against the door aliens.
(It focuses on two doctors who are currently testing to put a door on an alien’s pingas.)
Chris Gordman: They’ve developed weapons that pose a threat to all of mankind
(SMG3 looks out a window to see a doctor and green monster fighting when the green monster puts a door on the doctor's pingas and closes it. He screams and three other doctors writes something down on a notebook.)
SMG3: huh
Swagmaster696969696969: BUT BEFORE YOU CAN JOIN! We need to see if you have what it takes
SMG3: What do you mean?
Swagmaster696969696969: Haha, hah, hahahaha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(He stops laughing and looks at SMG3.)
Swagmaster696969696969: We’re gonna subject you to thousands of… Mind numbing, Jaw clenching, sexy, bone breaking tests. Starting off with this spinning thing!
(They show a man tied up, spinning around, and throws up.)
SMG3: The hell is this meant to test?
Swagmaster696969696969: Chris what are we testing for again here
Chris Gordman: I don’t know but I see this machine in a lot of SCI FI movies
Swagmaster696969696969: Alright DON’T QUESTION OUR PRACTICES! Are you ready?
(He realizes SMG3 is gone and Chris sees him.)
Chris Gordman: HOLY HELL WHAT IS HE DOING
SMG3 tries to run for the Mind Wiper.
Swagmaster696969696969: HE’S GOING FOR THE MEMORY WIPER SOMEONE GET HIM!
(Four guards try to get SMG3, but he dodges all of them.)
The doctor: YOU! ATTACK THAT SEXY MAN! AND I’LL GIVE YOU THIS SWEET COOKIE
(The alien gets happy and throws three doors at SMG3, while three guards block the Mind Wiper. SMG3 blocks all of the doors, and the doors close the three guards' pingas. SMG3 grabs the Mind Wiper. Swag tries to throw a bomb at him, but SMG3 erases his memory before he does that.)
Swagmaster696969696969: Huh, what was I doing again? Oh look I have a live bomb isn’t that interesting (He gets blown up.)
SMG3: SO LONG LOSERS
(He runs to an UFO and gets an alien to zap all doctors.)
Swagmaster696969696969: Oh poop
(All the doctors get zapped, and SMG3 goes back to the castle. He knocks on SMG4’s door, and SMG4 answers with confused or disgusted faces.)
SMG3: Oh…hey there SMG4…
Mario: BRO… WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT INTERNET HISTORY
(SMG3 puts sunglasses on while smiling.)
SMG3: FORGEDDABOUTIIIIIIT (He erases SMG4, Mario, and Meggy’s memory)
(Credits roll.)