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This page is the transcript for SMG4: Super Mario Taxi.
Intro[]
(Glitch Productions + SMG4 intro plays.)
(Mario is taking a taxi to an Italian restaurant called La Porchetta.)
Jeeves: And, we're here!
Mario: OHHHH BOI. THANKS JEEVES!
Jeeves: No problem. That'd be 20 coins please young man.
Mario: I have to pay?
Jeeves: ...Yes. This is a taxi service...
Mario: You get paid just to sit on yo ass and drive around?!
(Mario has an idea and hands Jeeves fake money)
Mario: (jumps out of the car) Here we go!!!
Jeeves: HEY! THIS ISN'T REAL MONEY!
Mario: (sees Toadsworth in another taxi) Oooh!
(Toadsworth steps out of his car and opens the trunk.)
(Mario looks suspiciously and decides to kick Toadsworth into the trunk.)
Toadsworth: Waah! I've fallen!
Mario: SHUT UP! (ground pounds the trunk shut and hops into the driver's seat) WHO WANTS A LIFT FROM MARIO!?
(Mario starts driving)
Mario: That's-a so nice!
(Toadsworth tries to break out of the trunk.)
Passenger 1: Luigi[]
(Mario gets the attention of Luigi, who is calling for a taxi.)
Mario: What's up? (tries to perfect his parking) Just a second... Wait a minute... Wait a minute, just a second... Ha-ha!
(Luigi hops in to the taxi.)
Luigi: Mushroom Mall please. I'm getting a haircut!
Mario: Sure thing bro! (starts driving)
Luigi: M-mario?! What are you doing driving a taxi?
Toadsworth: (still trying to break out) CALL 911 NOW!
(Luigi looks back in worry.)
Mario: Didnt you know bro? It's the easiest way to make money! And in Marios taxi service, you're gonna get the best service!
(The two have arrived at the mall.)
Luigi: Oh. Well thank you bro. Looks like we're here!
Mario: (looks back at Luigi) And i mean the BEST SERVICE!
(Mario takes the car inside the mall and hits the gas, running over several civilians along the way.)
Luigi: Mario please stop!
Mario: FASTER? OKEY DOKEY (speeds up even more)
Mr Resetti: (admires his Box and Cabinet Emporium) Hell yeah!
(Mario recklessly knocks over his emporium.)
Mr Resetti: F*ck my life.
(After such reckless driving, Mario and Luigi have finally made it to the hair salon.)
Mario: Thank you, come again! (flips his car back up and drives out)
(King K. Rool walks up to Luigi, who is in shock from the ride.)
King K Rool: Oh you poor hobo... (leaves some money in front of Luigi and walks away)
Passenger 2: Shroomy[]
(Mario then drives over to the house of his next passenger: Shroomy.)
Shroomy: (hops in) Oh. Hey Mario! Can you take me to the bank please?
Mario: Sure thing Shroomy!
(Mario and Shroomy stop at a red light, with Bowser and a Koopa Troopa arriving shortly after in another taxi.)
Mario: (looks at Bowser) Hmm?
Bowser: (looks at Mario) U wot?
(Mario and Bowser schemingly look at each other.)
Shroomy: Huh, Mario? Are you okay?
(Mario and Bowser challenge each other to a Mario Kart race with Lakitu delivering the countdown.)
3
2
Shroomy: Oh no...
1
GO!
(The light turns green and Mario and Bowser speed off.)
(Mario speeds through traffic, passing by several cars.)
Mario: Move bitch! (rams into Bowser's car, causing it to spin off)
Shroomy: OH GOLLY GEE I KNEW I SHOULD'VE TAKEN THE SUBWAY!
Mr Resetti: (now having set up a Fruit and One Can of Beans Emporium) Hell yeah!
(This fruit stand doesn't live either as Mario drives into it and knocks it down.)
Mr Resetti (walking up to the can of beans that survived) Well...At least i still got my beans (gets run over by Bowser)
(Mario rolls a banana from an item roulette)
Mario: Oh these are pretty cool bananas! (throws a banana on the street)
(The banana unfortunately doesn't do anything.)
Mario: God damnit stupid banana!
(Bowser rolls a Green Shell, grabs the Koopa Troopa passenger, and throws it at Mario, causing it to fling mid air.)
Shroomy: Aww man... Oh hey the bank!
(Mario crashes into a fire hydrant as Bowser drives off after winning the race.)
Mario: Nngh! Mama-f***er!
Passenger 3: Yoshi[]
Shroomy: La la la la laa laa- (hears gunshots) Huh? What's that noise?
Yoshi: (repeatedly firing gunshots at a police car) YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! AAAAAAH! I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL MAN! YOU CANT MAKE ME!
Shroomy: Oh hey Yoshi! Are you gonna open a bank account too? (gets tackled by Yoshi)
Yoshi: (notices a taxi) TAXI! THIS IS A ROBBERY! (hops into Mario's taxi) DRIVE!!!
Mario: Where to Yoshi?
Yoshi: ANYWHERE! JUST DRIVE!!!
Mario: Okeydokey! (backs up into the camera and speeds off)
Mario: So, nice weather we're having hey Yoshi?
Yoshi: (fires gunshots) I AINT GOIN BACK MAN! I AINT GOIN BACK!
Mario: Back where? You didn't tell Mario where he's going yet.
(Yoshi manages to make the police car spin out from the gunfire but then a helicopter light shines down on the taxi and a machine gun starts firing at it.)
Officer: This is the police! Don't move a muscle!
Mario: Okeydokey. (brakes hard and flings Yoshi out of the taxi)
Yoshi: WHAT THE HELL?!
Mario: That'll be 33 coins, PLEEEASE.
Yoshi: Run, bitch! Ruuuuun!
Mario: HEY! You haven't paid yet! >:(
(Yoshi tries to outrun the helicopter but gets blown up by it.)
Mario: Yeah, let that be a lesson to you for not paying Mario.
(Mario looks in the back and sees a bag of money Yoshi left behind. He jumps up with the bag, happy that he finally made money.)
Passenger 4: Bob[]
(While driving down the highway, Bob's icon appears on Mario's navigation app.)
Bob (in app): Hoes mad!
Mario: Haha! Hello!
Bob: (waving) Yo!
(Mario stops the taxi.)
Mario: Heya Bob! Where to?
Bob: Africa, please!
Mario: Say what now? (thinks about it) Ok sure! Let me just figure out how to get there.
(Mario has to drive through the ocean to get to his destination.)
(Meanwhile at the nearby beach...)
Boopkins: Master Chief, what are you doing?
Master Chief: Sir, finishing this Big Mac.
(Mario drives his car onto the beach, recklessly and dangerously driving through Boopkins and Master Chief's picnic, Sandy and E. Gadd relaxing on chairs, and Tari and Saiko playing volleyball.)
Mario: (humming) Excuse me! Excuse me! Hello!
(He then drives his car into the ocean.)
Shrek: (popping out of the ocean) What are you doing in my-
Mario: So what you gonna do in Africa?
Bob: I got a Tinder date over there.
Mario: Nice.
(While Mario and Bob are driving through the ocean, a mysterious being follows behind them. This being is revealed to be Unagi the Eel.)
Unagi (in app): Get in my belly!
Bob: (looks back) Aw crap.
(Unagi swallows the taxi and leaves behind Mario's phone, which has lost its GPS signal.)
(Unagi ultimately gets to Africa and spits the taxi out.)
Bob: (jumps out of taxi) Thanks bro!
Mario: No problem! (turns the taxi around) Let's go! (drives back into the ocean)
Passenger 5: Meggy[]
(Meggy is sitting at a taxi area watching her phone, which has died.)
Meggy: Stupid ink phone! I PAY A THOUSAND COINS AND ALL I GET IS 20 MINUTES OF BATTERY LIFE!
(Meggy notices Mario repeatedly crashing his taxi into a pole.)
Meggy: (waving) Oh hey TAXI!
Mario: (parking the taxi) Welcome to Mario Kart!
Meggy: Oh! Hey Mario. Can you take me to my home in Inkopolis please.
Mario: Sure!
(While driving, Mario and Meggy sing "Country Roads" together, causing a blue Koopa Troopa's head to explode.)
(Meggy notices something strange and begins to look around her.)
Meggy: Hmm... I swear I've seen that same building go past 20 times...
Mario: Huh, wonder why that is...
(SMG4 pops up in the front passenger seat.)
SMG4: I can explain that...
(Meggy is freaked out at SMG4's sudden appearance.)
SMG4: Ya see, we use loopable backgrounds as it saves time and budget for the editors
The More You Know
Mario: Thank you SMG4
Meggy: Oh okay...
Mario: Hey we're here!
(At a McDonalds.)
Meggy: Uhhh Mario this isn't my house
Mario: It sure isnt! (jumps out of his car) FOOD HERE I COME
(Meggy decides to go inside the McDonalds as well.)
(Meggy walks out of the McDonalds, with Mario following behind with his food.)
Mario: YEAH BOIIII
Meggy: Uhhh Mario..Your car
Mario: (drops his food) WHAT?!
(Big Smoke is towing Mario's car away.)
Mario: Hey stinky! Hey whats the big idea!
Big Smoke: Sorry man, you're parking in a disabled parking with no permit
Mario: NO!!!! NO NO-
Meggy: But he is... uhh... Disabled! Uhh... he has chronic internal uhhh... Hurt Leg bone Syndrome...
(Big Smoke isn't buying it.)
(Mario is looking around for a way to convince Big Smoke. He notices Heavy walking by.)
Mario: Yo heavy! Shoot me in the leg!
Heavy: Why would I do that?
Mario: I don't flush the toilet after i use it
Heavy: You f*cking freak! (snipes Mario's legs off)
Mario: Yippee! See! Mario has aids!
Big Smoke: Lord, have mercy on me... (sets Mario's car down)
(Mario and Meggy high five.)
Mario: HE SHOT ME IN THE DICK! AAAAAH-
Ending[]
(After serving his passengers, Mario is seen driving the taxi on a highway.)
Mario: (holding coins in his hand) Wow. Who knew Mario was a natural at Taxi driving!
(Toadsworth is banging on the trunk once again.)
Mario: Time to go buy some spaghetti and celebrate!!!
(Several attempts later, Toadsworth has finally broken out. He then jumps in front of Mario and obscures his sight.)
Toadsworth: IT'S BEEN 15 YEARS IM GONNA KICK YO ASS
(Mario screams in shock and speeds up.)
Toadsworth: You'll never take me alive! You- (Toadsworth falls to the ground and gets run over.)
Mario: OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP
(As he is exhausted, Mario hears a loud noise from the back.)
Toadsworth: (having blood all over his body) Kid's gon' die tonight!
(Mario screams and starts looking in the car.)
Mario: There's gotta be something in this car i can use!
(He throws several things behind him, including: a can of beans, a rubber duck, a bottle of Mountain Dew. None of these objects do anything to Toadsworth. Mario then pulls out SMG4.)
SMG4: Yo man, what's up?
Mario: (kicking SMG4 towards Toadsworth) Fire!
(SMG4 screams as he is about to hit Toadsworth.)
Toadsworth: (still hanging onto the car) Oh no you don't!
(Toadsworth jumps into the passenger seat to Mario's horror. He then goes up to Mario's ear.)
Toadsworth: This is the part where you run away.
Mario: C-can Mario at least keep the money he made?
Toadsworth: (staring at Mario before splaying his hand) Die.
(Mario gets thrown out of the taxi before Toadsworth drives away.)
Toadsworth: Uh, bye!
Mario: Well that sure was fun! Hehe he didn't take all of them. Now Mario can still have his spaghetti. (gets run over by a speeding taxi)
(The perpetrator is none other than Jeeves, who walks up to his victim.)
Jeeves: And let that be a lesson to you... (takes Mario's money) Lig- lig- ligma balls!
(Credits roll.)
| V · T · E |  |
|---|
| Pre-Season 1 | |
|---|---|
| Video 1 to 2 | Unknown Super Mario Sunshine Glitches Video · Photos made in Super Smash Bros. Brawl |
| Others | |
|---|---|
| Videos 1 to 10 | Prank on supermarioglitchy4 · I've been helping edit SMG4 videos for nearly 3 years so lets talk about it · We accidentally played an illegal game (ft. SMG4) · How GLITCH Is SAVING Indie Animation ft. @SMG4 · Goodbye Meggy · Rae's Alternate Scenes for SMG4 · I've been helping edit SMG4 videos for over 4 years so lets talk about it · sussy snek pek · sneak peak 2: electric boogalooo · schneak pcheek |
| Videos 11 to 20 | My SMG4 Easter Egg/Adlib Collection (also Channel Update) · snonk poNk · SMG4 Others 13 · SMG4 Others 14 · SMG4 Others 15 · SMG4 Others 16 · SMG4 Others 17 · SMG4 Others 18 · SMG4 Others 19 · SMG4 Others 20 |