SMG4: The Mario Café is the thirty-fourth episode of Season 8 and the four hundred and twenty-seventh overall to be uploaded by SMG4.
This episode was aired on August 18, 2018.
Mario and friends decide to open a Café but... they don't know the first thing about coffee.
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The video begins with Mario digging through the trash can. SMG4 wondered why would Mario do that which the latter replied that he doing so for his collection. SMG4 sighed and told Mario that if he wanted to start his own collection he should use the sponsor's app, Quidd. He then explained what was Quidd all about to the viewers with Mario excited.
The actual video began at Bowser's new café, Koopa Café, with him announcing that the café was now open for business. Kamek noticed that no one else was around and tried alerting Bowser to it but the Koopa King took no heed as he was too engrossed with announcing the opening.
When he realized there were no employees, he asked Kamek where were they, which he responded that it was what he was trying to tell him too. He also said that it was because Mario squished all the employees. In a flashback, while singing I Sit On You, Mario ground-pounded the Goombas, Koopa Troopas, and even Bowser Jr.. Realizing that having no employees meant he could not have a café, Bowser broke down on the floor crying. Kamek, wanting to ensure that Bowser was happy, told him that he would get new employees and flew off.
At Mario's house, Mario could be seen watching meat sauce being poured on spaghetti while naked which was typical of him when Kamek suddenly burst through the house's wall. Mario asked if Kamek wanted to join him but the Koopa wizard did not respond. Instead, he sent him to Bowser's café, where SMG4 and Saiko Bichitaru were already there. Then, Luigi and Toad were teleported in as well. Mario finally reached the café but landed on Toad who screamed at seeing Mario naked.
Kamek then informed Bowser that he had gotten him the employees per his request. Bowser naturally became happy while Mario wondered why they were all here. SMG4, angry, explained that it was because he killed all of Bowser's employees, forcing them to take their place. Saiko was even less thrilled as they were not even getting paid for the work, even though Luigi tried to convince her that Bowser was not that bad. Toad decided to leave but Kamek stopped him by summoning Toadette. Rather than deal with his crazy girlfriend, Toad decided that they should all work at the café.
In the café, Bowser assigned everyone their roles:
Bowser asked if they were all ready but everyone shown were not with Mario still choking on the cheeseburger. He told everyone to get ready for the first customer, which was Shroomy. He had positive words for the café before proceeding to order a very complicated coffee (a venti ice skinny decaf hazelnut macchiato no whip ultimate grand super craft party coffee deluxe) and a side of eggs benedict. Toad rudely told him to go take a seat, as he angrily headbutted the cash register, printing the order as Luigi brought it to Bowser. Unfortunately, Bowser was out of eggs as the delivery never came, so Mario had to find new eggs fast.
As he headed outside, Mario saw Dr. Eggman leaving the women's restroom, the actual delivery of the eggs, and Yoshi on his phone with an egg in a baby carriage (which resembled the Rattle Buggy from Mario Kart: Double Dash). Mario swiped the Pink Yoshi Egg while Yoshi was distracted. A Pink Yoshi then showed up and asked him where their daughter was (it was the Pink Yoshi egg).
Mario cooked the "Eggs Benedick," which was a couple of fried eggs place at either side of one end of a sausage, and threw it at Luigi. SMG4 was still trying to comprehend the drink order, but as Saiko was getting impatient, SMG4 quickly ran out the door in a panic but noticed a coffee vending machine.
Seeing it as the answer to his problems, SMG4 ordered a drink from the machine and sampled it just to be safe. He threw it up almost immediately but decided it could do. Shroomy was still waiting patiently, and Saiko threw the coffee while Luigi brought him the eggs benedict. Shroomy downed his coffee and ate his eggs benedick in seconds. As he contemplated the taste, Luigi and Saiko looked at each other nervously, as did Mario and Bowser, but Toad was still banging his head while SMG4 tried to look nervous. Fortunately, Shroomy enjoyed his meal, so Mario celebrated, while Luigi and Saiko high-fived.
Suddenly, a huge crowd appeared outside, looking for a meal, concerning everyone except Bowser, as that meant more customers. The customers stormed inside, trampling Luigi, and Bob Bobowski even showed up requesting for the finest hoes and beer. Being a rude customer, Saiko threw him through a wall, causing Luigi to calm her based off of their earlier lessons. The customers have now formed a line, with Steve at the front, unable to decide what he wanted, while Toad napped and left a sign telling everyone to order themselves. Steve understood but mistakenly stole the register as the place was suddenly on fire.
A shadow loomed over Toad, revealing itself to be none other than Waluigi. Waluigi just wanted a coffee, but Toad was still pissed of about an earlier incident and refused to serve him. Waluigi attempted to trick Toad into unleashing his rejection powers, which only failed due to a Snowman's angry comment on the long line. Waluigi left, scheming a future plan while SMG4 loaded up on vending machine coffee to the point where it stopped working. Refusing to accept it, he sold water as "tasteless coffee".
The café was suddenly a ruckus. Luigi was buried in the orders while Bowser was struggling to make all of them. Mario was no help either, eating most of the complete ones. Bowser then heard people complaining about the service and leaving. That caused him to be so heartbroken that he had a heart attack and passed out. Toad attempted to leave as he had been planning, but Luigi, being the only other enthusiastic character, called an emergency staff meeting and literally shoved everyone into a meeting room. He then asked Steve to entertain the few customers who have not left. He agreed but not being prepared, did a mock barbershop dance, complete with hat and cane.
Saiko was unhappy as her day was wasted with everyone, but Luigi attempted to motivate everyone with a song resembling the Car Rap from Parappa the Rapper. Toad threw a chair in response, salty as ever, especially the choice of song. Bowser woke up from his coma and said they needed a team-based system. Mario threw up at the thought of it, but Bowser insisted that putting their strengths into the correct roles would help. Meanwhile, Steve got worn out and passed out (possibly dying) while Bob was impatient and wanted Steve to dance faster. Everyone emerged from the meeting room, ready to get back in business.
Luigi convinced several would-have-been-customers who were still nearby with a bargain: 1% off of everything and extra dip, free of charge. Even Big Smoke was impressed. SMG4 agreed to swap places with Toad, as SMG4 "has typed stupid shit" all his life, meaning he could quickly type in each customer's orders. Toad, however, was unwilling to do much as he did not understand why people would like coffee until he sampled it, and in a similar manner to his sugar rush, started pumping it out of the machine. Mario used a golf club to swing several pieces of food, which Bowser instantly cooked with his fire breath. Luigi threw the orders to the tables, while Saiko threw the customers into their seats. Bowser was overjoyed as his café was finally running smoothly, and played the Car Rap instrumental to celebrate. As SMG4, Luigi, and Saiko moved to the music and Toad had gone completely addicted to coffee, Mario declared he was bored and attempted to leave. However, a policeman shows up, inquiring about the Yoshi Egg that was stolen earlier. Mario decided to work at the café forever to avoid the police.
The video ended with SMG4 thanking everyone for watching the video and reminding them to download Quidd in the credits.
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