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Nah I'm not doing this s*** again! |
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This is the transcript for SMG4: The Mario Purge (Halloween 2018).
New Tari Merchandise[]
Luke: H-Hello, everybody. It's Halloween. Hooray! We've decided to decelerate with merch.
(Luke starts to cry and screams when Kevin comes in with a mask.)
Luke: AAH! AAH SO SCARY!! AAAHAAAHHAA SO SCARY!
(Luke jumps into the bed and covers himself with blankets while Kevin takes off his mask.)
Luke: All means aside, we are selling new merch everybody.
(It then cuts to the Tari merch.)
Kevin: But because Halloween is too scary, how much we're selling this time is actually very much. Just like the character Tari, we wanted to make sure that really captured just chill vibes, good time, and video games and think it's something that we personally really like and something we really want to share with your fans. We're also selling high-quality animals Tommy back. You can check out the merchant at our shop.smg4.com. Because of the badge and shadow of the premium quality, we can only make a bunch at a time so you can only get them while stocks last.
Luke: And once again check all of this out of Shop.smg4.coooooooooooo- HAHA! Shop at shsiishi.
Transcript[]
(Glitchy Boy intro.)
Peach: Attention, citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom.
(It cuts to Peach making a speech.)
Peach: The time of year has come. Time for... The Purge.
(It then cuts to the Teletubbies destroying a restaurant.)
Peach: As you may know, due to the violent nature of the Teletubbies...
(It cuts to two Teletubbies harassing a person and setting a building on fire.)
Peach: We created a special night where once a year, all crimes committed by Teletubbies are legal for 12 hours.
(It cuts to three Teletubbies dancing and relaxing on the beach.)
Peach: Thanks to The Purge, Teletubbies related crimes are at an all-time low.
Teletubbies: Tubby Custard, Tubby Custard, Tubby Custard.
Peach: I implore all of you to stay inside and not do anything stupid while The Purge is on. I'm talking to you, Mario. (GODDAMMIT MARIO!) And with that, The Purge commences now. May God be with you all.
(Purge sirens play.)
Mario: OOOOOOOH!
(Mario tackles SMG4.)
Mario: SMG4!!! DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS PURGE THING!? TELETUBBIES GONNA GET MY ITALIAN ASS!!!
(SMG4 looks at Mario slowly.)
SMG4: Mario... we do this every year. Calm ya tiddys.
(SMG4 presses a button causing there to be a cage around the castle.)
(It then cuts to Luigi and Fishy Boopkins playing with toys.)
SMG4: Why do you think so many people are here?
(It cuts to Tari and Saiko.)
Tari: Come on, you'll like this one!
(Saiko starts to drink wine.)
Saiko: Pass.
Tari: Come ooon, it has a lot of violence!
Saiko: Sold!
(It then cuts to Toad sitting on a couch calling someone on a phone and somehow dies.)
Mario: Oh, I thought we're having another Mario party!
SMG4: Now leave me alone. It'll be morning in no time.
Mario: Haha, okey dokey.
(Banging sounds start and Mario picks up Luigi.)
Mario: Stand back, I GOT A LUIGI!
SMG4: Eh. Don't worry. It's probably some Teletubby trying to get in.
Fishy Boopkins: Oh no guys! That's not a Teletubby, it's Bob!
Bob: Oh God please let me in I beg you! I don't want to die!
SMG4: No one let him in. We can't risk opening the door.
Tari: B-but... he's helpless out there...
Toad: Screw that guy. He'd never do the same for us!
Mario: Yeah! He tried to kill Mario and Luigi when there was a zombie apocalypse!
Bob: Oh God they are coming for my sexy ass, I'm too sexy.
Fishy Boopkins: But guys, he's our friend!
Saiko: Ugh, screw him! I wanna smash some losers!
Bob: Please it was all just a prank. I love you guys.
SMG4: You guys hear something?
Fishy Boopkins: OH NOOO! I'M SORRY SMG4, BUT I GOTTA OPEN IT FOR BOB!
(Fishy Boopkins grabs the button from SMG4's pocket.)
SMG4: NO BOOPKINS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
(Fishy Boopkins hits the button causing the cage to go up.)
Bob: Oh my God, they actually let me in! Big bad Bob lives to be sexy for another day!
Fishy Boopkins: Hey Bob! Welcome!
(Fishy Boopkins and Bob start to hug.)
Bob: Sweet merciful crap Boopkins. You are my best friend.
Fishy Boopkins: Yay!
SMG4: God damn it... well make yourself at home I guess... you're just lucky no Teletubbies got in!
Luigi: WAHHHH!!
Saiko & Tari: Huh?
Luigi: G-G-Guys!?
(Scene cuts to the TV with Teletubbies outside of the cage.)
SMG4: Relax, they can't get in!
Tubbie Leader: We're not here for you, we're here for the robed one... Let us purge him as we are entitled to do as so and you will be left alone. And believe me, we know how to get inside...
Luigi: Oh nooo!
SMG4: These guys can't get in...nothin' but empty threats...
Tubbie Leader: You have five seconds...
Mario: Okay.
(Mario grabs Bob.)
Bob: Hey put me down, you fat idiot.
Tubbie Leader: 4...
Fishy Boopkins: No Don't they'll hurt him,Oh no Bob no!
(Mario and Fishy Boopkins fight to get Bob.)
Tubbie Leader: 3...
Luigi: Guys what do we do!?
Tubbie Leader: 2...
SMG4: Nothing! Just chill out!
Saiko:Pfft...Let them in. I'll smash them all!
Tubbie Leader: 1...
Bob: Oh please hell no I want to live!I am to sexy to die!
Tubbie Leader: 0...time's up!