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"JUST LIKE THE SIMULATIONS!" |
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"I LIKE YOUR MOXIE, KID!"
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This is the transcript for SMG4: War of the Simps.
Transcript
(Glitch Productions and SMG4 logos.)
(The episode begins with Fishy Boopkins at his computer.)
Boopkins: Yaaaaaay!
(He is watching Inugami Korone.)
Korone: Hello everyone! I am so happy to see you all here!
Boopkins: Oh Korone-chan, you're so beautiful!
(He types on his keyboard to make a $20 donation.)
Korone: Oh! Thank you so much Miku Fan 96!
Boopkins: Oh, my gosh! She noticed me!
Korone: Oh! We have another donation from Doki King 180!
Boopkins: What?!
Korone: Thank you so much! I believe this makes you my Top supporter of the day!
Boopkins: What?! No! Who is this other guy?
(Doki King 180 is revealed to be Whimpu.)
Whimpu: *gasp* Senpai noticed me... Yes! Yes!
(Boopkins brings out his ninja headband, spins to create two clones of himself, and engages a battle against Doki King. He donates $100.)
Korone: WOW!
Whimpu: OOOOOH NOOOOO!
(He cracks his knuckles, rapidly types (setting himself on fire in the process), and donates $200.)
Korone: SUGOOOI!
(Boopkins and Whimpu decide enough is enough and compete for who can donate the most. They donate $1000, $2000, $3000, and $4000.)
Korone: Amazing meatball!
(They donate $5000, $6000, $7000, $8000, and $9000. Eventually, Whimpu reaches a payment error due to running out of money.)
Whimpu: What the fu-
(Boopkins got the same payment error notification.)
Boopkins: Oh no! I should still have money.
(Boopkins checks his Mushroom Bank account. Everything is empty, from his savings to even Jubjub's college fund.)
Whimpu: Oh no...I ran out of money. HOW WILL I SIMP NOW?!
Korone: Thank you! Thank you so much you two! It looks like you guys are tied as my Top 2 donators!
Whimpu and Boopkins: What?! Tied?!
Boopkins: No! I will become Korone-chan's TRUE #1 fan!
Whimpu: Korone-chan will notice me! I SIMP HER THE MOST!
(Cut to the city, where Boopkins is creating a Korone statue.)
Boopkins: More... MORE!
(He creates more Korone statues across the city, as well as hanging posters and even painting Barack Obama's van.)
Obama: Oh, I'm gay now.
(Saiko is seen trying to have lunch, but Boopkins' obsession with Korone knocks her sandwich.)
Toad: Oh hey Boopkins! It's been a-
(Boopkins creates a statue with Toad's head, replacing Korone's.)
Boopkins: Ha ha! This will get her to notice me.
(He hears a plane noise from the sky. He looks up and sees "Doki King ♥ Korone-chan". He turns around and sees Whimpu controlling the RC toy plane.)
Boopkins: WHAT?! Doki King 180!?!
Whimpu: Miku Fan 96!!!
(Boopkins brings out his green lightsaber.)
Boopkins: You don't deserve her, Whimpu!
(Whimpu brings out his purple lightsaber as well.)
Whimpu: As if she'd ever acknowledge you!
(They both charge at each other, but just flimsily flail their lightsabers about.)
Boopkins: Don't hurt me.
Saiko: This is the saddest thing I've ever seen...
(She goes over and smacks Boopkins and Whimpu with a giant fan.)
Saiko: will you two please... STOP!!!
(Saiko brings a whiteboard about "G.I.R.L.", an acronym for "Guy in real life".)
Saiko: Seriously, you do know shes a VTuber right? And everyone knows girls on the internet are just guys!
Boopkins: There's no way Korone's actually a dude!
Whimpu: Stop lying!
Saiko: *scoffs* Come with me then..
(She drags Boopkins and Whimpu.)
Boopkins: Ahhh... help. Kidnapped.
Whimpu: I am O.K with this...
[The trio head to what is presumably Korone's residence.]
Saiko: This is where she lives. My anime girl senses can tell.
(Whimpu fell to the ground.)
Saiko: What are you two doing?
Boopkins: I-I didn't actually want to meet her...!
Whimpu: This is all so sudden. Do I smell okay?
(Saiko throws both Boopkins and Whimpu to the door.)
Boopkins: *groans* My noodles...
Whimpu: Err.... My head hurts...
Korone: Oh my! are you two alright?
Whimpu and Boopkins: Korone-chan!
(Korone-chan suddenly glitches, as Saiko points at a person who controls her.)
Boopkins and Whimpu: What? Huh?
(The camera pans behind Korone to reveal Nathaniel Bandy.)
Bandy: Seriously...you two ok?
(Boopkins and Whimpu are in shock.)
Bandy: Hello??? Can you hear me?
(Whimpu's pulse falls flat as he collapses to the ground.)
Whimpu and Boopkins: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Saiko: I told you all vtubers are guys
Bandy: Oh...you guys are Korone fans huh? Um...sorry to disappoint you guys? Anyway... my names Nathaniel Bandy, nice to meet you!
(Boopkins and Whimpu move to a corner, saddened that VTubers aren't real.)
Boopkins: My whole life is a lie
Whimpu: Nothing is real, life is meaningless
Bandy: Oh dont be so dramatic. Look, I'll show you guys how I make these waifus come alive if it'll make you feel better.
Whimpu: What?!
Boopkins: Say what now?
Whimpu: You can show us how to make these VTubers?
Bandy: Yeah! I've got time to show you. My streaming rival is live now, so everyones watching her.
(Cut to Melony doing a stream, as she gets donations from everyone.)
Bandy: Gentlemen...may I present to you {He activates a button which opens the bookshelf.} MY WAIFU FACTORY!
(They enter Bandy's Waifu Factory. We pan over numerous VTubers and anime girls. Boopkins and Whimpu are stunned.)
Monika: (Reading a book.) Wow. That's really interesting.
Bandy: Hey Beeg Jon!
Beeg Jon: Hey Bandy! The waifus are going well today.
Saiko: Ahhh! What the f**** is this place?!?!
Anime Girl: Welcome back master!
(NOTE: The subtitle says "Anime girl", but she is actually VTuber Akai Haato, a.k.a. Haachama.)
Boopkins: What?! But we had a whole arc on making anime girls come to life.
Whimpu: COME GIVE WHIMPU A BIG HUGGG!!!
(Whimpu tries to hug her, but is unable due to her being just a hologram.)
Bandy: Hoho, sorry. They're only holograms but they can still interact with certain objects though.
(A Horny Officer (Sister Cleaire) knocks Whimpu's head with a bat.)
Horny Officer: Stop it. Stop it.
(Bandy shows Boopkins, Whimpu, and Saiko to his boat.)
Bandy: Come lads! There is more to see-
(He hears Mario in the water.)
Mario: Ah...that's a so nice!
Whimpu: Mario?! What are you doing here!?
Mario: Hey guys! I found a Golden Ticket and won a trip to the Waifu Factory! (He shows the ticket.)
Bandy: Mario! I told you you're not allowed to swim in the Waifu water!
Whimpu: Waifu water?!
(He rushes to see the Waifu water.)
Whimpu: My precious...
(Bandy whistles to call the Waifu-Lifus. The Waifu-Lifus get on the boat as they sing a song.)
Waifu-Lifus: (Singing.) Waifu Lifu Doo Ba De Doo. Here comes a big brain puzzle for you! Waifu Lifu Doo Ba Daa Dee. If youre a SIMP, you'd listen to me!
Mario: (Gives the bird.) F*** you!
(Mario tries to get away from the Waifu-Lifus, but one of the Waifu-Lifus activates the pipe.)
Mario: What are you doing? What's going on here?
(The underwater pipe sucks Mario in.)
Mario: No! I don't wanna go! (He screams as he is getting pulled in.)
(Saiko, Whimpu, and Boopkins are horrified of what they did to Mario.)
Bandy: *ahem* Gentlemen, and M'Lady
(Saiko rolls her eyes.)
Bandy: It's now time for me to show you the best part... It's time to for the WAIFU MAKING ROOM!
Whimpu: Waifu...
Boopkins: Making...
Whimpu and Boopkins: ROOM?!?
(They head to the Waifu Making room.)
Bandy: Here's where the magic happens. Use this controller and select your ingredients.
(Bandy fumbles with the controller and the ingredients fall into a large mixer.)
Bandy: Once you have all of your ingredients, press the start button.
(He presses the start button, and mixer creates an anime girl, who blows a kiss at Boopkins and Whimpu.)
Boopkins and Whimpu: OH MY GOD! (They run over to Bandy and repeatedly bow.) WE ARE NOT WORTHY! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
Bandy: Well, why don't you guys give it a try?
Boopkins and Whimpu ...YAAAAAAAY!
(Boopkins runs over to the controller.)
Boopkins: Oh, I want to have a big melon... (He puts in a bunch of ingredients and out pops a waifu. Whimpu shoves Boopkins out of the way.)
Whimpu: MY TURN! (He also puts in numerous ingredients and out pops iDubbbz.)
iDubbbz: I'm gay!
(Both Boopkins and Whimpu fumble with the controller and make numerous waifus come out.)
Saiko: This can't be legal...
Bandy: GUYS STOP! YOU're MAKING TO MANY!
(This causes the machine to explode, and an army of waifus appear.)
Boopkins: Hello, I am the main protagonist of this harem!
Whimpu: PLEASE STEP ON ME!
Waifu Army: (Raise guns.) HE'S A SIMP
Bandy: OH NO! WE PISSED OFF THE WAIFU GODS! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!
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"I have absolutely no idea what's going on." |