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This page is the transcript for SMG4 Christmas 2017: The XMAS Discovery.
Transcript[]
(Gitchy Boy intro)
(The holiday episode begins at Mario's house with Christmas lights on the front and a sign that says: "Pls give me extra presents, Santa! :D -Mario")
Luigi: (laughing) Oh yeah! Mario, are you done decorating the fireplace? *Mario places cookies and a bear trap in the fireplace*
Mario: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Haha! Now Santa will have to give me more presents now! Yahoo! :D
Luigi: (groaning) OOOooooOOohhh....
Mario: Oh, yeah! You're just-a jealous that Mario is gonna get more presents than you! Oh, yes! :D
*Doorbell ringing*
Mario: SANTAA! Oh, boy! :DDDD (opens the door, when suddenly...) Hello! Ooh-hoo-hoo!
(But then, someone with a Splattershot gun blasts Mario across the room covered in orange ink)
*Luigi crying*
(The someone is revealed to be none other than Splatoon's famous inkling gunner from Inkopolis, Meggy Spletzer.)
Meggy: Haha, Red! Ya too slow! Better step up your game if you want to win the splatfest next year!
Meggy: C'mon, I want you to come help me train!
Mario: Aww not today, Meggy! Mario is decorating his house.
Meggy: Oh?....Are you having guests over?
Luigi: No! What do you think we're doing, silly?
Meggy: Uhh.... worshiping some fat old hobo?
Luigi: Oh, yeah- WHAT?! No! We're celebrating... Christmas!
Meggy: K-Krim-mus?
Luigi: Wait...You don't know what Christmas is?!
Luigi: Christmas is a time of joy! A time for spreading happiness for- (gets kicked in interruption by Mario)
Mario: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PRESENTS!!! :DDDDD
Meggy: Oh...I don't think we celebrate "Christmas" back home...
Mario: Mario can show you what Christmas is all about! :D
Luigi: Mario, you better not be taking her to a toy store!
Mario: AAH! SHIT HE FIGURED IT OUT!
*scene cuts to outside Peach's castle*
SMG4: I think that's the last of the lights! Let's light this crap up!
*Lights turn on*
SMG4: You can call me the God of light!
*Slips and falls, foot gets caught on the wiring of lights.*
SMG4: Ugh...So, you guys here to help decorate or?
Luigi: We're here to help show Meggy what Christmas is!
Smg4: WHAT!? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CHRISTMAS IS!?
Smg4: Well Christmas is all about...
Smg4: decorations!
Mario: WHERE ARE MY PRESENTS ASSHOLE, TELL ME NOW!!!
Smg4: You see? I love decorations! I started decorating back in October!
Meggy: HEREEE'S SQUIIIID
???: Hey!
Peach: Hehehe! Decorating is good but it's not as good as...
Peach: Christmas SHOPPING!
Peach: JUST LOOK AT THESE SALES!
Peach: C'mon Toad!!! Pick up the pace and don't drop my items!
Mario: Mama-mia, she gets way to excited for this kind of crap...
*Glass broke noise*
Sniper: Ah! Oh my God!
Mario: Oh yeah! Look at all these presents that Santa can get me! :DDD
Meggy: Is this part of Christmas, too?
Smg4: If you're 5 years old or really high then...maybe.
Wario: Hello everyone! It's me!!! SANTA! and imma here to talk to peeps! just please give me money!
Police: Hey you got a license for that?
Wario: uh...How rude! You're on the naughty list now!
Meggy: Hey...It's that day old guy I keep seeing everywhere...
Luigi: Oh...You mean Santa? He's the guy that brings presents to everyone and makes dreams come true!
Meggy: Did you say he can make dreams come true!?!!
Luigi: Wait! That's not actually Santa.....
Wario: Don't any of you stupid kids have any money for Santa!?
Meggy: Um excuse me, santa guy!
Meggy: I know we just met and all but...
Meggy: Can you pretty please help me win next year's Splatfest?
Wario: Give me 10000 coins, first! Bwhahaahaha!!!
Wario: Crap, I didn't think I'd come this far....
Wario: Umm...ah...
*Meggy stares at Wario with 'puppy eyes'*
Wario: umm.....let me do my magic Santa spell!
Meggy: That's so cool! Do I get special powers or something?
Wario: Uh yeah, sure. Now Santa needs some alone time with his money!
*Wario starts having fun with his money, resulting in his Santa beard falling off*
*Meggy stares angrily at Wario with shock and betrayal*
Meggy: Did you just lie to me?!?I
Wario: Oh no!
Waluigi: Haha you can't do sh!T brah! You can't do sh!T brah-
*Meggy punches Waluigi*
KO!
Waluigi is sent flying. He screams.
Wario: I just shit my pants.
Meggy: Hey, stop!!!!
Wario: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH MEEE!
Wario: Santa is out of here!! Bwhahahaa!
Mario: SANTA!!! OH MY GOD!!!
Mario: Give me my presents!!! I want some spaghetti, oh and some chips and some new toys...and...
Meggy: Wow...What is this... it's so pretty.
Mario: Haha, It's snow!
Mario: You can go sledding and do all sorts of crap!!
Swagmaster: Oh boy, Chris! It's snowing!
Swagmaster: This calls for some Christmas carols cuz that's the true meaning of Christmas!
Chris: Oh Christ, EVERYBODY RUN BEFORE -!
(Swagmaster's horrible singing causes SMG4 to panic, Luigi's butt to catch fire, Peach's head to explode and Mario's head to bleed)
Meggy: What's that horrible screeching noise?
Boopkins: Meeeeeegy! Can I show you what I think the meaning of Christmas is? It's all about playing in the snow with your friends!
Meggy: Great!
(Montage)
Bowser: Screw that crap, Christmas is all about throwing snowballs at people!
Bowser: GRRR. So that's the way you want to play it, huh?
Bowser: SNOWBALL FIGGGGGGHT!
Peach: Looks like I'm going to have to call in...
Peach: a tactical nuke.
Luigi: Oh nooo... we're doomed!... Mama mia.
Luigi: Meggy, no!! You can't beat them by yourself!
Meggy: You messed with the wrong squid!
Wario: Bwhahahaha. Revenge!!! Got too cocky, little girl!
(Then, Meggy starts to giggle to know that Christmas is actually fun for her!)
Wario: Hey, what are you giggling about? You lost!
Meggy: Oh come on! Where's your Christmas spirit?
Everyone: (laughing)
Wario: I don't get it.
Meggy: You know....
Meggy: I think I found my own meaning of Christmas....
Mario: Oh man, Imma starving! Last one to the castle has to give me their dinner!
Bob: Hey guys wait! I didn't get to say what I think the meaning of Christmas is! It's all about Santa Claus b!tches! Look I brought him here! Let's go on a crazy Christmas adventure just like in 2015! Hello? Anybody? Looks like it's the strip club for us, Santa.
(episode ends)
