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"JUST LIKE THE SIMULATIONS!" |
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This page is the transcript for Super Mario 64: Meet the Toad.
Transcript[]
(The episode starts off with a flash-forward where Toad is showing a surprised face, while looking at SMG4, Toadsworth, Toadette, and Frankie.)
Toad: What the f*ck is going on here?!
SMG4: We're hold this little intervention for you candy addiction Toad. It's making you annoying as hell!
Toad: NO! MEH CANDY! WHERE ARE THEY?! I NEED THEM TO BE HAPPY!
Frankie: *Eating a chocolate bar from Toad's candy.* nomnomnom.exe.
Toad: NO! F**K OFF IT'S MINE!
Toadsworth: TOAD! IT'S TIME TO STOP! IT'S TIME TO STOP, OKAY?
Toad: No! NO! NOOOOOOO!
(Meet the Toad intro)
Toad: Hi, I'm that Toad that stand here forever. Nice to meet you. I'm just a dandy ol' mushroom and a slave of Princess Peach. Smiling on the outside... And eternally dead on the inside. But why? You might ask... Well... I've seen some s**t man. I kid you not, I have SEEN SOME S**T.
Mario: MOVE, BETCH! GET OUT THE WAY GET OUT-
Toad: I've tried so many times to escape this hell hole... 643 times to be exact...
Mario: Hello, Toadies!
Toad: OH MY GOD!
Peach: Alright, I'm going out shopping.
(Inside Peach's dress.)
Toad: Haha yes! I'm finally free! Peach's dress is the perfect hiding spot!
Mario: I don't think you can go there!
Toad: *screams*
Mario: Toad? I love that little guy when he's not annoying. I don't know why, but he loves playing tops with me!
Toad: After so long... I've had enough. There is only one way to escape... a crap tonne of sugar.
Toad: MY NAME'S TOAD! AND I! LIKE! SPAGHETTIIIIII!!!!!
Toad: Now people have to deal with MY BULLSHIT!!!
Toad: OH! HEY MARIO! DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU MACARONI!?
Mario: shutupshutupshutupshutup! RAAAHHH!
Luigi: Toad's a decent guy... sometimes. Sometimes I get the feeling he doesn't like Mario though.
Mario: Hoohoo! Hello! It's-a me!
Luigi: ...And sometimes it's the opposite way around, Toad goes crazy for no reason...
Toad: HIIIIIIII LUIIIGIIIIIII NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR S**T, LUIGI!
Toadette: Toad... my boyfriend, I'm worried about him... ever since he started work at that castle... it's like... he's a different person...
Toadette: Honey, are you feeling okay?
Toad: TOADally! GET IT!? TOADALLY!!!!! AAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHHHAHAH!
Toadette: *...*
Toad: AAAAAAAA- Oh no... it wore off... Now I hate everything again.
Toadette: *sigh* ...One day... I'll come for you... Frankie.
Peach: Toads? They're the most loyal servants I know! I pay them the highest salary to do the most important duties in this kingdom.
Toad: She pays us in peanuts to stand around this castle 24/7! What's even worse is that she uses us for everything... literally!
(Peach using Toads as a lamp, a ladder a vacuum cleaner and a dish sponge.)
Peach: Where's the sponge... Ah screw it.
Toad: But the worst thing she uses me for... is a body shield... You can only get hit by so many attacks.
(Toad looks back at the memories Peach uses Toad as a body shield, Toad later pass out.)
Bowser: Toad? I love that melon shaped idiot! He comes to play poker all the time when he's off work.
(flashback) (Bowser and Toad playing Poker.)
Toad: Dammit... I have nothing good!
Bowser: OH THAT MEANS I WON! WOOOOO! RDNGNHGH! THE MONEY IS MINE! I WON THE MONEY!
Goomba: But boss... all you won were three peanuts and a cookie.
Bowser: ...WELL IT DOESN'T MATTER, CAUSE I WON A COOKIE, BITCH!!! COOKIES!!!
Toad: So that's it huh... three peanuts, my whole life savings, gone... Why can't this Toad win at least once in his life!!!
Bowser: HEY, do you want a cookie?
Toad: I DON'T GIVE A S**T!
Bowser: AH! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD, OH!
Bowser: So yeah! Toad knows how to have a good time.
Toadsworth: Young Toad... he... has... it rough... Follow me... I want to show you something.
(Toadsworth walk into a room full of Toads.) (Toads chatter.)
Toadsworth: The Toads in this castle are all brain dead and only a select few are given the ability to think. Including me and young Toad. The rest are mindless.
Toadsworth: For example, check this out. ALL TOADS, JUMP!
(Toads jump.)
Toadsworth: ALL TOADS, COPY WHAT I SAY! Shake dat ass, betch u let me see what u got!
Toads: JUST SHAKE THAT ASS, BETCH YOU LET ME SEE WHAT YOU GOT!
Toadsworth: Ok now... GO ATTACK MARIO!
Toads: EVERYBODY, MARCH! FIGHT! LOAD THE CANNONS! GET THAT MOFO! (TARGET LOCKED)
(Mario begins to panic, as Toads started attacking him.) (Mario is still getting murdered by the Toads in the background)
Toad: Sometimes I wonder... why I was chosen to think... having to hold the burden of processing this r****ded world... Why am I here? Is there a purpose to my life?...
(Mario's burning carcass flung out next to Toad.)
Toad: But in the end... there's things to stay alive for... like Mario getting hurt. :DDD
Toad: *Eating a piece of candy.* WOOOOO! LIFE IS AWESOME! I LOVE YOU MARIOOOOOO
Mario: *cough* Please bring amber lamps...
SMG4: So like... uhh I'm really worried about Toad. I sorta saw him to other day.
Toad: OH BOY, Looks like I need some more sugar! :D Time to go get some more!
(SMG4 follows Toad to his secret candy stash and sees Toad eating down of it.) (SWEET RAVE PARTY!)
SMG4: WOAH!
SMG4: Yeah... And now I'm starting think Toad may have some sort of candy problem...
SMG4: Toad is too annoying because of this... So that's why me and the other guys are holding an intervention for Toad's addiction...
(And now we are at the beginning dun dun DUN!)
Toad: What the f*ck is going on here?!
Toadsworth: TOAD! IT'S TIME TO STOP! IT'S TIME TO STOP, OKAY?
Toad: No! NO! NOOOOOOO!
Toad: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! AHHHHHH!
SMG4: *whistles*
Toadsworth: IT'S TIME TO STOP! WHERE THE F**K ARE YOUR PARENTS! WHO ARE YOUR PARENTS!
Toad: Raaaaaaahhh!
Toadsworth: Mm-mmm! HADOUKEN! (Throws Frankie)
Toad: DIE, BIATCH! (Throws a Bomb-Omb at Toadsworth.)
Toadsworth: Aw, crap! (Shields himself behind Toadette.)
Toadsworth: IM GOING TO CALL THE COPS' PROTECTIVE SERVICES!
Toad: GET OVER HERE! (Grabs Toadsworth legs and throw him at the Gourmet Guy)
Toad: I won!
(Toad celebrates by doing a victory dance while the Sonic CD Level Complete theme plays in the background.)
Toad: (notices SMG4.) Aaahhh! (SMG4 punches him, knocking him out.)
Later...
Toad: Come on! Let me go! The guy next to me loves candy more than I do.
MIPS The Rabbit: CHOCOLATE!!!!!
Peach: Now Toad, your'e were brought here because we're worried about your addiction. You first have to accept this condition for recovery.
Toad: OK FINE! I got a candy problem, now let me go!
Peach: Good! The Doctor will come in and help you now.
Dr. Mario: Hi everybody!
Toad: NOOOOOOOOO!!
(Meet the Cast outro)
(Video Ends)