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THAT BAFOON! THAT BAFOON!
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The following page is the transcript for Super Mario 64 Bloopers: 0% of Spaghetti made by SMG4.

Transcript

SMG4: Ahh, what a beautiful day. :D


Mario: (in another room)...No....NOOOOO!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


SMG4: MARIO! I'm coming! [runs upstairs] Mario! Are you ok? Did you look at gay pictures again?!


Mario: *cough* Oh, SMG4... *cough* It's terrible...


SMG4: No, Mario! Please hurry, tell me! D: No actually QUICK! My burritos are getting cold.


Mario: We... We... WE HAVE NO MORE SPAGHETTI! D:


SMG4: ... [kicks Mario out the door, who then screams and explodes] Why didn't we have any porno channels? D:


Mario: SMG4!!! D: SMG4! WE NEED TO GO BUY MORE SPAGHETTI! D;


SMG4: Go use your own money!!!


Mario: I can't! I wasted it all on spaghetti! D:


SMG4: No. >:( Go eat something else, you fatass.


Mario: WHAT!!!??? NO WAY! I can't afford to lose these man boobs! D: They're so awesome to play with. :D


SMG4: Uhh... Okay... Then... [Mario starts throwing a tantrum] OK!!! Fine! I'll go!!!


Mario: REALLY!? :D


SMG4: Nah, not really.


Mario: (spoken) YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!! [beats up SMG4]


SMG4: Ow! OK, I'm going!


Mario: OK, here it is! The new store they built! Let's-a go! [doors open] OK, Smg4. You go sit in THAT corner while I find the sphagetti. OK, let's see what we got here... [looks around] D: Where's the spaghetti?


SMG4: :D Gasoline tanks... I could use one of these! [sets one on fire] ...I didn't do it...


Mario: >:( They sell bricks, but they don't sell spaghetti! That's it!!


SMG4: If we don't find spaghetti soon, we'll never leave!!... ...What are you looking at!?


Mario: HEY!


Cashier: HUH!?... ...Oh, hello. How may I help you?


Mario: Do you sell spaghetti?


Cashier: Ooh, sorry, pal. We don't sell that crap. But we are selling this old guy.


Mario: Look, buddy. I need spaghetti! C'MON!!!


SMG4: So... you like Justin bieber? [Po gets angry at and chases SMG4] (in background) AAAH!!


Mario: How can you NOT HAVE ANY SPAGHETTI? It's like the sexiest thing in the world!


Cashier: OK, my final offer is that I shove dumplings up your ass and kick you out for free!


Mario: I'll take it of you shove spaghetti up my ass!


Cashier: DON'T YOU GET IT?! I don't have any spaghetti!


Mario: [sigh] I think I'll just buy that brick over there... [Mario and SMG4 walk out of store] This is just great! We have no spaghetti! We're gonna die of starvation!


SMG4: THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN SPAGHETTI! ... D: I don't like Teletubbies... [Po is angry at SMG4] [walks into castle] :D Yes, thank God! We're home!!


Toad: Hey, where's Mario?


Mario: [sees hallucinations of spaghetti] Hehe, spaghetti... Lots-a spaghetti...everywhere... Hehe, gonna have lots-a spaghetti... Gonna pee in the spaghetti!


SMG4: Hey! Mario!! Come here! [Mario runs through wall] Are you OK?


Mario: OF COURSE I AM!


SMG4: [looks at Toad] You see? He's fine!


Mario: [looks into mirror] Look at yourself, Mario... You're looking sexy!


Reflection: HEY! Stop looking at yourself, gayass! What are you doing, standing around?!


Mario: Checking my sexy self out?


Reflection: What? Are you retarded? Our life is on the line! We need spaghetti! Hurry up and find some, fatso!


Mario: Wait...you just called yourself a fatso!


Reflection: I'm your imagination, idiot! Now kiss me!


Mario: :D OK.


[mrcliftin walks into the room.]


Mrcliftin: Hey Mario, I...


Mario: [talking to his reflection] Mmm...oh, yeah...give me a kiss...I love you reflection...mmm...


Mrcliftin: [backing away] Oook, then...

Mario: (Teleports around the room.) sphagetti?

Toad: Mario put me down.

Mario:....sphagetti...sphagetti..

Mario: (Notices the TV) eh?

PhaZon: Haha! That’s right! We are holding a phone quiz competition!

PhaZon: answer the questions correctly and you will win a life time supply of pasta!

Mario: :D omg yes finally! :D

PhaZon: just call this number now! 1800-penis-face

sw9000: wee look at me

Mario: quick! Toad! Give me your cell phone!!!

Toad: you’re not going call a strip club again cause-

Mario: just give it!

Mario: hello! I am calling for the quiz!!!

PhaZon: hello?

PhaZon: ahh yess what’s your name?

Toad: butthead!

PhaZon: Ok butthead are you ready to answer this question?

PhaZon: who invented sphagetti?

(Mario stares cross eyed at the screen.)

Toad: *facepalm*

PhaZon: quick! Who invented spaghetti?

Mario: ummm...err 24!...

PhaZon: are you retarded?

(Mario is squatting outside the castle.)

Mario: stupid! Stupid! D:

Mario: now I will never get any sphagetti!

(A mysterious light figure appears.)

???: Mario...

???: Mario... I am the sphagetti fairy... I am here to help...

Mario: ah! (Shoots The fairy.)

(Mario puts the body into a dumpster.)

Mario: ahh there we go

Mario: that’s right...

???: Well I know a place that sells spaghetti.

Mario: McDonald’s?

???: no!

???: it’s just a normal store... they sell the best sphagetti.

Mario: who are you anyway?

???: hmm...

Mario: a homeless guy!

???: (revealed to be kw977)hell no!

Kw997: do you want to know where the sphagetti is or not!?

SMG4: I can’t believe you dragged me into this.

Mario: don’t worry! We’re going to rob that store like pros!

SMG4: yeah but what if we get caught!?

(Starman3 pops out from the backseat of the car)

Starman3: hey guys can we stop for a bathroom break?

SMG4: what?! What the hell are you doing back there?

SMG4: there’s the store!... be sure to not attract any attention

(Mario crashes the car into the side of the store.)

Mario:...oops...

SMG4: how do we get in without alerting the clerk?

Mario: :D we use the back door!

SMG4: no!! Mario!!

(An explosion is seen.)

(SMG4 is seen being dangled through the roof of the store.)

SMG4: careful...careful...

(SMG4 falls)

SMG4: AAAAAH!

SMG4: owch...

Mario: is the clerk asleep?

Clerk: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz so many... zzzzzzzz

Mario: spaghetti spaghetti...

SMG4: hmmm nothing here..

Mario: Ok lets see...

Mario: milk, mayonnaise, syrup, old guy, gasoline

SMG4: :D omg look at all this gizmos....

SMG4: guess it wouldn’t hurt to take one computer..

(SMG4 inadvertently blows up the computers.)

SMG4: ...uHh...it broke...

Clerk: no dear, I didn’t fart...

(A guy enters the shop.)

Guy: lalalalaalalalalala

Mario: what do we do!? There’s a witness in here!

SMG4: don’t worry I have a plan

Guy: hello

Mario: go away

SMG4: I’ll just throw this grenade over at the guy!

Mario: no! Don’t!

(The grenade flies into a box of watermelons.)

(It explodes as the clerk still sleeps.)

Mario: there’s literalley no spaghetti D:

Mario: *GASP* is that what I think it is?!

(Mario spots a box of spaghetti.)

Guy: ooh! The last spaghetti box!! :D

Mario: What!? NO! IT’S MINE!

(Mario and the guy both lunge at the box.)

Mario: hehe! I got it!

(Mario instead holds up a stuffed turtle toy.)

(The Guy is at the checkout with the now awakened clerk.)

Clerk: that’ll be 10 coins

Guy: but I only have 4 coins...

Clerk: THEN GO EAT CRAP

(The guy walks out of the store.)

Guy: gonna go make spaghetti...

Mario: D: SMG4!!! that dude got away with the spaghetti!

Mario: now I’ll die of hunger and it’s all your fault!

SMG4: *Sigh*...we’ll find the dude ok?

Mario: Ok...so we can murderer him?

SMG4: NO!

(SMG4 and Mario follow the guy home in his car.)

SMG4: whatever you do... don’t let him see us

Guy: hi guys! Watcha looking at?

Mario: go away!

(The guy enters his house.)

(Mario jumps forward with a gun.)

Mario: coast is clear!

SMG4: *Sigh* you don’t have to be that sneaky...

Mario: what if a ninja comes?

Mario: watch out ninja!

(Mario Shoots a man.)

SMG4: MARIO! why’d you shoot that innocent guy!?

Mario: he was black?

Mario: Fire!

(Mario breaks down the window of the house.)

SMG4: you know you could have just gone through the entrance.

Mario: Woooow. Talk about rich.

SMG4: how are we going to find the spaghetti.

Mario: Ok Kitchen.....umm...err

Mario: where the hell did he put that spaghetti

SMG4: maybe he’s already cooking it?

(SMG4 starts to burn on the stove.)

Mario: >:( where the hell is the spaghetti!?

Mario: shut up SMG4! I’m trying to think!

Guy: ahh might as well eat a snack before the spaghetti...

SMG4: quick hide!

Guy: Ok let’s see what we have...

Guy: hmm oohh 10 day old mushroom...

(The guy notices Mario on the counter.)

Guy: hey what the hell are you?!

Mario: I’m a flower pot...

Guy: Oh, well that’s fine then.

SMG4: phew! That was a close one!

Mario: We still need to keep looking!

SMG4: ooh! A tv! I wonder what’s on?

(SMG4 explodes the tv.)

Mario: hmmm spaghetti... sphagetti...

Mario: AHA!

Mario: you’re mine now...

Guy: shower time!

Mario: Oh god! Hide!

Guy: hmmm bathtub or shower?

Mario: shower....please say shower

Guy: hey the bathtub is talking! I guess it wants me to play with it :D

Mario: F*#k

(The guy gets into the tub.)

Guy: :D lalalalala

Mario: 0_0

SMG4: *chuckle*

Mario: help!

SMG4: right after I get this up on YouTube.

Mario: You bastard!

SMG4: FINE! I’ll be right back...

(The guy keeps dancing in the bath as Mario notices the spaghetti box.)

SMG4: Ok! Mario watchout.

Mario: huh? What do you-

(SMG4 aims the rock at the guy, but hits Mario instead.)

SMG4: Sorry! Let me try again!

Mario: no!

(Mario gets hit again.)

Guy: ahh that was fun...

Mario: phew! Glad that’s over!

Guy:...ahh now to make some spaghetti

Mario: NO!

Mario: i’m NOT LOSING THAT SPAGHETTI!

Guy: :D yay spaghetti!

Mario: STOP RIGHT THERE! THAT’S MINE!

Mario: yoink!

Guy:.... HEY THAT’S MINE

(Mario runs from an enraged Guy.)

Guy: WHERE ARE YOU!?!?

Mario: Haha! I have a weapon! And you don’t!

(Guy brings out a rocket launcher.)

Mario: Aaah!

SMG4: HEY! UGLY DUDE!

SMG4: pick on someone your own weight!

SMG4: uh-oh...

(SMG4 is exploded.)

Mario: I don’t want to die...

SMG4: then shut up then...

(Guy pokes his head through the door.)

Mario: *gulp*... he has nice shoes...

Guy: ...hmm...

Guy: that’s weird... I thought they were here...

(Mario farts as he and SMG4 creep out of the room.)

SMG4: Mario! Why did you fart!?

Mario: I didn’t eat anything but chilli today!

(The Benny Hill Theme plays as SMG4 and Mario are chased around the house.)

Starman3: Hey everyone, it’s me, Starman3.

Guy: guys... I won’t murder you...

Guy: if you give back the spaghetti then I’ll murder you...

Guy: >:) hehe

(The guy opens a cupboard full of dynamite.)

SMG4: HEY! thanks for finding our tnt sticks :D

SMG4: your reward is they blow up!

SMG4: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Mario: WHY ARE WE RUNNING SO SLLLOOOOOOW?

Guy: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOONNNN OOOOOOOFFF AAAaaaaaaaaa BBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIT*************&&&&&

(SMG4 and Mario jump out of the window just as the house explodes.)

SMG4: we did it!!! High-five!!!

(Mario knocks SMG4 over)

Mario: ooh sorry... BUT I GOT SPAGHETTI ANYWAY!

SMG4: Well now we can...

(Sirens are heard.)

Cops: freeze you’re under arrest!

Mario: mamafucker!

(The two are thrown in prison.)

SMG4: well at least it can’t get any worse than this

(The two are in the same cell as a Teletubbie.)

SMG4 and Mario: AAAAAAH!

(The words game over appear on screen.)

End of video.

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