Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Desert Head is the twenty-first episode of Season 2 and the seventieth overall to be uploaded by SMG4.
This episode was aired on February 21, 2012.
Mario is tricked into going to the desert and now has to spend his time finding his way out, but the desert sucks more than it seems.
Mario, wearing a headdress and riding a camel, is grumbling about Toad trapping him in the desert. The plumber has eaten all of the food he packed, as well as Luigi, and now has only one water bottle left. The next morning, the camel flies away with the water and an old man.
Mario, now being followed by a "chinese fish", finds an oasis nearby. He decides to drink from it, then starts feeling sick. He then spots a cactus, which, in a poison-induced mirage, appears to him to be Princess Peach. Mario makes out with the cactus; then Toad appears and tries to convince Mario that he is hallucinating. A brief quarrel ensues, the result of which being that the cactus dumps Mario and flies away.
Mario then stumbles across some Bandits, who steals his money and throw him into a pyramid. Oscarm00, having been trapped in the pyramid for a long time, is more than happy to see another person around. He asks Mario for his assistance in escaping the pyramid, but the plumber proves entirely unhelpful, instead of making gay jokes at Oscarm's expense. Using a copy of Getting Out of Pyramids for Dummies, the two find a secret passage leading to a quiz show hosted by a Mr. John Gayham. Gayham tasks the two with racking up more points than an old man by completing a series of challenges.
The first challenge is to complete an obstacle course filled with puzzles; Mario and Oscarm appear to be losing by a mile, as the old man is already a number of obstacles ahead. However, the man cannot figure out the last puzzle. After being ambushed by a guy singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" (whom Mario quickly burns with a flamethrower), Mario and Oscarm are able to solve the puzzle and beat the old man by throwing their "for Dummies" book at a statue. The next challenge is to beat the old man at a game of hide-and-seek, during which Gayham reveals his true goal: to kill Mario and Oscarm. The old man ends up trying to ambush the two and stab them with a sharp kitchen knife; this only leads to the man's repeated failure. Gayham decides that the charade is taking too long and attempts to grenade them all, but the grenade somehow bounces back to him. He then finds the contestants having a tea party, with the old man dressed like a princess.
Gayham becomes enraged and goes after Mario specifically. Mario finds the exit to the pyramid and moon jumps outside, but Gayham is still hot on his tail. He tries long-jumping across a canyon—Lakitu, however, has to rescue him from the fall Mario Kart-style—only to find that Gayham just crossed a skeletal bridge instead. Gayham reveals his motive for killing Mario, which makes absolutely no sense; nevertheless, he is about to shoot Mario when SMG4 and X crush him with a helicopter. Mario takes a helicopter ride back to the Mushroom Kingdom, leaving Oscarm stranded in the desert, Gayham suffocating in the sand, and the old man to run off a cliff for whatever reason.
- Mario's Camel
- Old Man Hobo
- Princess Peach
- John Gayham